Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!
How Did We Get Here?
Chapter One
Ginny Weasley let out a string of swear words as she landed on her head with a loud thump. She heard a loud cough from next to her, and turned to see Harry Potter staring at her bemusedly.
"Now where would you have learned those words, hm?" He asked her.
She stuck her tongue out at him. "I live with Fred and George, what would you expect?"
"Well, I am indeed surprised that the oh-so-wonderful-and-scary Weasley Matriarch would let her precious angel utter such obscenities!" He grinned, and stuck out a hand to help her up.
She took it and pulled herself to her feet with a glare. "Where are we, anyways?" She asked.
Harry shrugged. "How do you expect me to know?"
She rolled her eyes and reached for the wand in her pocket, only to find it empty. "Where the hell is my wand?!" An accusing glare was directed towards Harry.
He raised his hands in a surrender position. "Honest to God, I didn't take your wand. Mine's gone too, you know."
She grumbled something before looking around. "Grass, trees, and more grass. Great."
"It is, isn't it? Just breathe the fresh air!" Harry said.
"I was being sarcastic, you idiot."
"Oh, you were? I didn't realize!"
"Obviously not, anyone who's friends with Ron just has to be an idiot as well, don't they!"
"Bully!"
"Prat!"
"Damsel in distress!"
"Hero-complex!"
Harry glared at her. "What happened to that fascinatingly cute crush you had on me a few years ago?"
She rolled her eyes at him exasperatedly. "Face it, Potter. You're ugly."
"I am not!" He said indignantly.
She laughed. "Look, there's a building there, of some sort." She was pointing to their right, to where a wide dirt path led to a small, two-floor old-fashioned building made out of wood and stone, with a sign swinging from the roof.
"Looks like a Tavern of some sort," Harry said, clambering over the weeds and tall grass surrounding them to get onto the path. Ginny followed, and they made their way towards the Tavern. As they approached, they squinted at the sign and were able to make out the words "The Pink Bunny, Tavern/Inn."
"The Pink Bunny?" Ginny snorted. "What kind of a lame name is that?"
"Hey, it's cute!" Harry said.
"Really, Potter?"
"Just because you're so cynical, Weasley, doesn't mean the rest of us are!"
Ginny didn't bother to respond, just grabbed his wrist and dragged him after her.
"Hey! Hey! That hurts!"
She looked back at him. "Wuss."
"I am not!"
"Yes, you are!"
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
This continued all the way until they reached the Tavern, where a few middle-aged men and women were standing outside and smoking, dressed in brown traveler cloaks. The large double doors stood open, and the inside proved to be a medium-sized room with a bar and a few tables, scattered about the area. Two fireplaces stood against the wall on opposite sides of the room. The room was dimly lit with candles and some hanging lanterns. The barkeep was a short and wiry man, with quite a noticeable beer belly and a small, round head. Round glasses with thin frames surrounded his small eyes. When he smiled you could see the missing front tooth, and with the simple and old-fashioned clothes you received the impression of someone poor and impecunious.
Ginny and Harry chose a small table with two seats facing each other, right in front of the stairs and behind the fireplace on the left side of the room - close to the bar.
"Well, isn't this a fine establishment?" Harry said bemusedly, looking around.
"Well, it's warm and has food, so in my book it's a hell of a lot better than that grassy meadow we were standing in before!" Ginny said.
The barkeep came up to them with a rather disconcerting grin.
"What can I get for two chil'un such as yourselves?" He said, in a thick southern drawl. Ginny shivered, and scooted farther away from the man on her chair.
"We'll have two shepherd's pies and a bottle of water, please." Harry said, doing his best not to follow Ginny's lead in scooting away. The man gave a rough laugh.
"Sure thing. No under-age drinking, eh?" He laughed again, before taking their menus and walking back towards the bar.
"I did not like that man," Ginny said, glaring at the back of his head.
"Well, I thought he was rather charming," Harry admitted nonchalantly.
"Oh, shut it, Potter."
"You know," Harry said pensively, "we really should be trying to figure out where we are."
"Right, and how do you suggest we do that?"
"For starters, we could ask Mr. Charming over there," he gestured to the barkeeper.
"Sure, and get laughed at a second time? Think again, Potter."
"How about asking someone else?" Harry searched around the room, looking for a possible candidate.
"We're in Ipswich," Ginny said suddenly.
"How the hell do you know that?"
She pointed towards a map on the wall, just above the fireplace. There was a red circle around Ipswich, Suffolk.
"Huh," Harry said. "Wonder how we got here."
"Great question, Potter. Couldn't have wondered about that before we walked into this seedy Tavern?"
"Think it's a prank?"
"A prank? Potter, with all due respect, your ability to detect pranks is terrible. Besides, if it was a prank, only Fred and George could've done it, and then I wouldn't be here. We made a deal ages ago, that they wouldn't prank me, as long as I helped them out now and again."
"So that's why you never get green hair or blue skin!" Harry said triumphantly, as if he had just discovered the answer to a long-standing mystery.
Ginny rolled her eyes and gave him an unimpressed look.
The barkeeper returned, holding two small shepherd's pies and a large bottle of water. He set them down as well as two glasses and two pairs of knives and forks. "Here 'ya go," he said, handing them a check before walking away again.
"Well, it seems to be clean," Ginny observed.
Harry had already taken a bite. "Pretty good!" he said.
Ginny sighed and also took a bite of the (admittedly delicious) pie, before pouring a glass of water for herself and Harry. "You know, this isn't half-bad, Potter."
"Really? Think I should bring a girl here for a date, sometime?"
She snorted. "Yeah, if you can ever get one. Although, Ipswich is a bit far."
He nodded. "Did you bring us here, then?"
She turned to stare at him incredulously. "You think that I wanted to spend the evening with you, Potter?"
"Okay, it wasn't my best theory, but it was worth a shot," he shrugged.
"You couldn't apparate us back, could you, Potter?" Ginny inquired.
"Nope. I get apparition lessons next term."
"Damn it. Then we're stuck here. But how the hell did we even get here in the first place?" Ginny said frustratedly.
"Like I said before, how do you expect me to know?"
"I wasn't asking you, obviously!"
"Who were you asking then?!"
Ginny groaned and put her head in her hands.
"You're hopeless, Potter, you know that?"
Harry winked at her.
"Right back at you, Weasley."
She glared at him and took another bite of shepherd's pie. Harry had already finished about half of his.
"And where, pray tell, do you expect us to spend the night?" Ginny asked him.
"Well, right here, of course!"
She started coughing violently into her water. "I'm sorry, you expect me to spend the night here?"
"Didn't know you were such a snob, Weasley."
"I'm not! But I do need at least clean sheets, and maybe a mattress!"
"We'll rent a room!"
"We have no money, idiot."
Harry pulled out a small pouch and a muggle wallet from his pocket. "'Bout a hundred galleons and a thousand pounds," he said, laughing.
"Damn you, Potter," Ginny grumbled.
They finished their meal and shared the bottle of water, before leaving a few muggle bills and coins on the table. Walking up to the bar, Harry inquired if there was an available room.
"Sure there is," said the barkeeper. "But you're gonna have to share a bed, only one left, you see."
Ginny and Harry looked at each other.
"Oh hell no."