Neku misses silence more than anything else. Maybe even more than the voices of his friends, Shiki, Beat, Rhyme, Jos- (no, no , don't think about him). A long time ago he left headphones behind, they are useless there, in this empty world full of whispers and quiet screaming of voices of those who disappeared. It was supposed to feel like accomplishment, but instead it felt more like giving up.
He desperately needs to find a way out.
"Where now?" he asks aloud. A sound, a human voice, something he needs more than breathing, a last thread connecting him to sanity. Or semi-sanity.
No one answered him.
There is only one game he's still playing, still pretending. He's never called it, doesn't even really acknowledge it, it's just asking the same thing over and over.
How does one describe an echo? Is it just an empty space filled with nothing but static, distorted whispers or maybe it's a faint shadow, something that used to be breathing and laughing and crying people, now reduced to almost nothing.
'i want to see mY mum, WhEre is She, where is she' 'i'm sO close, so close to thiS promotion, nothing will stOOp mEe' 'i wiLl stop drinking fROm now on, i just doooon'T wAnt to disappear' 'sAve mE, save uuuuus, wHo am I, wHeRe am i, what AM i?'
'do i ExiSt'
'i Want to, i w a nt to, wAn t to'
What a shame, what a damn shame it isn't a joke. He tried to answer, had to try, try, try, because surely there has to be somebody alive out there, or some more conscious consciousness, something, anything .
(he's all alone, aside for-)
His most favourite thoughts are those of foreigners, he remembers having to learn English at school, but he remembers nothing of the language itself and so these thoughts are easier to hear, they don't hurt as much, because he simply doesn't know what they are saying.
What a sick irony, he got what he wanted for so long and he hates it more than anything. His teenager self would be so content here, all alone.
Joshua is a sick bastard, that's it.
The worst thing, he has nothing to do here, souls don't have any information, they don't know why they disappear, why the entire city got destroyed, so there is not much point in listening to them, even if he still believes for the best.
Another game of his own has become describing Shinjuku. For starters, everything is gray or black here, all the colours get sucked, even his purple clothes don't seem as purple as before. Every building is in tatters, no matter where he goes in, finding furniture is a miracle, so far he has only seen one sofa that is somehow fitted for sleeping on it. There is no grass, no flowers, not even trees or even if there are some, they're dry and dead.
Or maybe there is grass, but it's dry, without a life.
Definitely not a place you would choose for your vacation.
"Good thing I don't have to eat." But he wants to, how desperately he wants to feel something, acridity, sweetness, saltines, bitterness, just something .
Stupid Neku, stupid guns, stupid everything.
(he can understand Coco, he really can, but in reality he can help, but
despise her, just a little)
He sits down, sighing. He doesn't feel tired, but he just doesn't have an idea what to do and suddenly, his hand grabs something.
"...Violin?"
Of course, it's a little dusty, but the strings are still attached save for one and there is even a bow next to it. A wooden box, empty inside, but it's filling him with warmth and dare he say it, a hope?
He thinks about who was the owner. An adult, an teenager, a music prodigy or somebody who was bad at playing but couldn't stop no matter what?
Neku grabs it and stands up, excited to the point he has never been before.
(and it's true, isn't it?)
He wants to scream, but no, he just will translate this energy into something else.
He has never played before, never even held a string instrument in his life, but it doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
The first audible sound resembles a scream and so he winces, but he doesn't give up, he will never give up playing- (can he even say he's playing?)
And he goes, moving a bow up and down, not really understanding and for sure he does everything wrong, but hey, at least he doesn't hear anything else.
"Ughhh, what a terrible sound!"
Neku suddenly yells, because no, he doesn't expect an angry Coco standing just before him, with an ugly grimace on her face that matches the sound he was just making. She even stamps, like she's trying to make a point.
"What were you thinking?! That is so awful, omg!"
"Coco!"
He has never felt so much relief in his life (and that will be truth for his entire life, because nothing will much the relief of finding another person in a world that forgot its own existence, even when he meets his old friends again, it won't be the same, it just won't be-)
He wishes he could just hug her, but she dislikes it, so a big no.
Neku raises the instrument, awkwardly holding it.
"I found it in there and thought, hell, why not play it? What's the worst thing that could happen?"
Coco looks at him suspiciously and finally shrugs it off, maybe thinking he finally has gone crazy. It shouldn't be so hard to talk with her, she's an open person. There is a possibility his people skills are weakening even more than before, and this is the result.
"Gimme it."
"Huh?"
Coco sighs deeply, seemingly not impressed with him.
"The violin. Gimme it."
He does.
Her stance is much more correct than his, his blurry memories of TV programs tell him that. The way she places the violin on her shoulder is soft, like she is tendering a child and not just an instrument. She treats it like it is the most vulnerable piece of art, not meant to be touched but has to be regardless.
"I wanted to fill this world with music." He doesn't have to explain himself, he knows that, but for some reasons he can't do that, Coco must understand what he was intending to do, so she can play perfectly.
She glances at him, but doesn't speak and then she begins to play and that's-
Imagine a world. Just imagine a world with no sounds, no people, no cars, devoid of everything. Imagine a world where even your own steps don't make sound, where wind doesn't exist, traces of humans are hard to find.
And then imagine filling that kind of world with music.
Suddenly everything seems much brighter, gray is being replaced by colours, whiteness, purpleness, redness is slowly making their way home again, Neku could swear he hears wind again, disturbing broken windows and making sound .
The music is sad, because you can't play anything else out there, every move of the bow is precise and perfect, and who knows, maybe Coco is truly a violin master, or maybe she just appears as one, when he has nothing to compare. He doesn't know a melody, never heard it before, but there is no.
Suddenly, Coco stops, her eyes full of tears.
"I just… Miss Tsugumi sooo muuuuch."
And she starts crying and it's ugly and Neku clenches his fists and doesn't say anything and the world becomes gray and devoid of life again. He wants to say 'I don't understand, I don't understand, stop crying' but he does and so he can't.