Disclaimer: I don't own Miraculous Ladybug (otherwise, Adrien would get actual character development and Chloe would be the awesome heroin she's meant to be)

I

According to Adrien, it was actually Plagg's fault. He was getting on his nerves. The kwami was the one who teased the poor blonde relentlessly about her girlfriend. Everyday. Every fucking time. 'Oh, look, your girlfriend tripped again!', 'Hey, kid, there goes your girlfriend', 'Can you ask your girlfriend to bring cheese pastries tomorrow?' And every time, a blushed Adrien answered they were just friends.

But today, oh, today was just too much.

To be fair, Adrien was already overwhelmed. It was Sunday afternoon, he had tons of homework, his father had a cold (and acted as he was about to die), Nathalie was sick too (but managed to let arranged Adrien's whole schedule for the next two weeks before going home), he just broke up with Kagami and tonight was patrol night. He had no time, no patience, no life, and when Plagg asked if now he was single they could hang out with his actual girlfriend, Adrien just snapped.

"Stop fucking calling Marinette my girlfriend, you asshole!", screamed the blonde to his kwami. The little god gave him an unimpressed look.

"Sure kid, whatever"

The teen growled, fuming.

"No, it's not WHATEVER", Adrien yelled, walking around his room, exasperated. "Marinette's my FRIEND. JUST. A. FRIEND. How much of a dimwit you can be to not understand THAT?! For fucks sake…!"

"ADRIEN GABRIEL AGRESTE"

The blonde froze in his spot. In the door of his room, in an expensive purple robe, was standing his father. Plagg was nowhere to be seen.

"Uh… I-I'll call you later, Nino" babbled Adrien, thinking fast. The teen grabbed his phone, pretending to end a call. His father was staring at him with the scariest gaze Gabriel Agreste could summon. It was a gaze that had made grown men cry in the fashion industry.

Adrien gulped.

"My office. Now"

II

Adrien thought his father was out of place in his own office. Instead of his usual clean, perfect outfit, Gabriel was wrapped in the robe he used to move around his bedroom. It was the first time since Adrien was eight that he saw his father in comfy clothes. Or cough, as a matter of fact.

Gabriel invited his son to sit in front of him. The blonde obeyed, cautious.

"Father, I…" stammered him.

His father made Adrien stop talking with a single gesture in his slightly feverish face. He was pissed.

"May I ask, Adrien, if I raised a hooligan?"

"N-no, father"

The blonde lowered his head, ashamed.

"Then, may I ask why my son -the one I raised to have exceptional control of his emotions- screamed at the phone like some moody teenager?"

Adrien resisted the temptation of pointing out that he was a teenager. This was utterly humiliating.

"I… well, y-you see, eh…"

Gabriel softened his gaze. Not enough to look like a caring parent or something equally ridiculous, but a bit.

"And may I ask why my son was screaming about some Marinette when broke up with that Tsurugi girl just two days ago?"

Adrien blushed hard.

"Father, n-no, I…" stammered the blonde again. "Marinette is just a friend"

Maybe it was the fever. Maybe it was the whole embarrassing situation. But the teenager could swear that Gabriel snorted.

"Nobody throw a tantrum like that for just a friend"

The blonde frowned. Oh, hell no. Not his father.

"You do, every time somebody points out how close you and Nathalie are!"

He said that outloud, didn't he? Oh, fuck, Adrien was SO dead.

There was a tense silence between them for a few seconds. Gabriel, pale and shocked, was trying to remember how to properly scold his son for that outrageous and ridiculous observation.

In the pocket of Adrien, Plagg was about to laugh as hard as he could.

"That's totally different!" said Gabriel. "Nathalie is my right hand, the best personal assistant and…"

"One of my dearest friends" mocked Adrien. If he was about to be grounded, better enjoy it, right? "Father, if I got a free day every time you say it, I'd be unemployed by now, and I work for you!"

Gabriel was outraged. One year of public education and his son -his polite, humble, perfect son- starts to use SARCASM on HIM?! This was unsettling. What will come next? Tattoos? Orgies? FREE WILL?!

Internally panicking, the blonde saw his father grow redder every second. If he was Chat Noir, he would be laughing out loud by now. But he didn't have the nerve, let alone the intimacy with Gabriel, to do that.

"I forbid you to talk to me like that!" snapped Gabriel. "Besides" The man grew a sly smile "I'm not the one talking all day about Marinette. Marinette said, Marinette did. Marinette, Marinette, Marinette. Take a hint, son, really"

Was his father being childish? Maybe he was akumatized, because Adrien had never seen that smile in his face. Wait. He said WHAT?

"I-I'm not…!" denied Adrien, completely startled.

This time, Gabriel clearly snorted.

"Adrien, please, the Nile is not only a river in Egypt."

And now PUNS? Adrien looked around, searching for hidden cameras. Maybe his father was trying to film a reality show, Kardashian style? Ugh, please don't. They were classier than that.

"Father, that was terrible" stated Adrien. "Is this a strategy for preventing me pointing out that you can't even turn on your own computer without Nathalie's help?" The teenager smirked. That was a low blow. "Oh, Nathalie, where's my cellphone? Oh, Nathalie, please organize my trip. Oh, Nathalie, how do I use Zoom?" mocked the blonde. "She's so essential in your life that it's ridiculous"

Gabriel gapped. That wide, cocky smirk wasn't his son's usual smile. It was almost like seeing Chat Noir sitting in front of him.

"Y-you…" the man couldn't find the words. Any words. He could use Zoom on his own, thank you very much. He even had learnt to use Google Meets without Nathalie's help. Well, much help. Gabriel was extremely flustered. Impressed, but flustered.

For a moment, Adrien felt as if he actually had a dad. A grown man who he could admire. Someone he could ask about girls, career advice or any other topic. Damn, a man he could drink a beer with and make some jokes.

Sadly, it lasted a few seconds.

"Grounded" said Gabriel. "For a week"

Adrien shrugged and stood up. Before leaving the room, the boy stopped at the door and looked at his father one more time. It was now or never.

"You know, father, when you are not trying to be an asshole all the time, you're actually a pretty decent dad. A funny one, even"

"A month"

The blonde shrugged again and left the office.

III

After Adrien closed the door of his room, Plagg zoomed out of his pocket. The little god was kinda impressed with the kid and how he stood up against father. Not like he was ever admitting it, but still. That was hilarious as hell. Plagg could have paid to see that stifled old man being taunted by his meek teenager son.

"It seems to run in the Agreste family", said the kwami with a sly smile. "Just a friend my…"

"Oh, Plagg, shut up"

.

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Author's note: Hey, guys! Long time no see. This is actually my first story in english, since I'm a native spanish speaker. So, if there's any misspelled word or typo, let me know.