This fic has been flopping around my skull since Carmen Sandiego Season 4 came out on Netflix. I liked the ending, but my shipper heart couldn't decide if I liked Carmen/Gray or Carmen/Julia more. So, in the spirit of ProZD solving anime, here is a bisexual Carmen polyamory fic. And I fully acknowledge that should they come out with more show or spin-offs, this will almost 100% be non-canon, but eh, it's just for fun.

I did the bare minimum of research for this fic; all my research juice is going towards my DnD stories at the moment. Also literally nothing happens except talking, because this is entirely self-indulgent low-effort fluff. Cheers!

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Where the Heart Is

Chapter 1: Gray

The bells on the door of the convenience store jangled as the slightly stocky young man pushed in casually, hands in pockets. He strolled over to the pop, then to the ice cream, then turned around and nearly bumped into the young woman with the red hoodie absent-mindedly browsing behind him. "Whoops, sorry- Carmen!?"

"Gray!?"

Graham's soda fell to the ground and rolled. For a moment, they stared wide-eyed at each other. Carmen was the first to smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Er… passing through, I guess." Graham shuffled a little awkwardly, and his heart was suddenly pounding. The A.C.M.E. Chief had told him Carmen was all right, but when his last memory of her was still of Evil!Carmen about to attempt to murder him a year ago, he… was still a bit nervous. "What about you?"

She blinked at him. "I live here now. You didn't know?"

"No, I didn't. Er… want to catch up?" He bent down to grab his fallen soda, wondered if it would explode when he opened it.

"Yeah, that would be nice. Let me get those for you."

"Thanks."

Though when they were safely out of the shop, he said: "I appreciate it, but if I were really hard-up, I'd just take 'em." He indulged his klepto urges on little things, things that wouldn't put him on A.C.M.E.'s radar.

She gave him a Look. "If you were hard-up, I'd figure you go for something more nutritious than ice cream. I did it because I live here, which makes you my guest."

"Fair point. And thanks. So why here? What's in Buenos Aires?"

Carmen smiled the happiest smile he'd ever seen on her, lighting up her face like an angel. "A.C.M.E. found my mother, and she lives here. So when I'm not out helping to hunt down the rest of V.I.L.E., I'm… here, being with my family."

"Congratulations," he said, whole-heartedly. "Glad to hear it."

She glanced at him anxiously. "Okay, I have to say it: I'm really, really sorry for trying to kill you. I wasn't… I wish…"

"Hey, it's okay," he said. "I know it wasn't you. And I rewired my device to be non-lethal. You don't have to apologize for anything."

"Chief told me you were okay, which was a huge relief, but when you disappeared and didn't show again I thought you hated me or something." Her forehead was all wrinkled up in deep distress, and he almost reached out to prod it smooth again.

"Oh, god, no, nothing like that." He chuckled. "I just didn't want to complicate your life, especially while I had to sort mine out. No hard feelings, honest."

"Oh, thank goodness." She made an exaggerated gesture of relief, and he had to laugh. "Though I disagree on the 'complicate my life' part. I would have been glad to be friends again earlier… Wait, if you rewired your device to be non-lethal, why did you… Your reaction was part of why I thought I'd killed you!"

"Well, I didn't want to get hit with it even at stun level, you know?" he retorted. And he hadn't wanted Carmen to be wise to the alteration, either – if she had known it was non-lethal, and her brain remained wiped, she might have swapped it out for something more dangerous.

"Why did you turn it down in the first place?" she asked. "Did you guess that might happen?"

He was quiet a minute. "It's what you would have wanted. It's what you wanted ever since Morocco."

She was quiet too. "Yeah. I guess you're right. …Thanks, Gray."

"You're welcome."

They walked for a bit. Gray tried to open his soda and had to pause and wait for a long time for the over-excited bubbles to subside, before he could open it entirely. Carmen smirked at the wary squint on his face, and opened her own, un-agitated soda. He gave up and opened the ice cream instead. Better not to let it melt inside the wrapper.

"What were you saying about sorting out your life?" she asked.

"Well, V.I.L.E. is done, and given that they crossed a line – twice – I wouldn't want to work for them anymore anyway. The Chief said she'd let me go, but I figure it's under the expectation of good behaviour, so no more high-profile heists for me." He made a sad face. "So what do I do with myself, now? I wanted a life of excitement and profit, and I'm not sure how to do that without… you know, breaking the law. So I'm just traveling right now. Taking the opportunity to actually see all the places I passed through before, without the pressure of missions to drive me."

"That sounds like a great plan," she said, and that pleased him, that she approved. "Want a travel buddy?"

"I couldn't ask you to leave your mum, you've only known her less than a year," he protested.

She shrugged. "I'm not planning to leave her indefinitely, and she's used to me popping in and out already. Besides, that's what videocalls are for. We live in the future, you know." She raised an eyebrow at him. "I didn't hear you say 'no'."

He laughed. "If you really are willing, I wouldn't mind. You like traveling even more than me, I think."

"I love traveling," she said, grey eyes sparkling. "Where've you been so far?"

The conversation relaxed as he told her about his journeys, thus far meandering through Central and South America – largely taken using buses and trains, and staying in hostels instead of hotels, he wasn't rich personally – though maybe that was actually a better way to see the world anyway – and she opened up more about her mother and the orphanage she lived at.

"Does your mum call you Carmen?" he asked.

She nodded. "Sometimes she calls me by my birth name, but I still don't respond to it the way I do to Carmen. And all the children seem to love 'Tía Carmen'. Oh, Gray, they're so cute! Sometimes I would make donations to orphanages, you know, when I was thieving full-time. But it's not the same as actually being involved with one. My mother is amazing for running this place." She brightened up. "Hey, do you want to stay over? While you're in Buenos Aires?"

He flinched and hesitated – and smiled. "I'd be delighted."

.

He ended up staying in Buenos Aires a lot longer than he'd planned to, but that was all right. His best friend was all right, and they weren't antagonists, and they had some catching up to do. It wasn't like he had any definite plans in his near future anyway.

It was a few days before she broached the really tough topic. First she was eager to show him around the city, which was an international cultural destination. Besides the obvious importance of being the home of Argentinian tango, there was a huge number of art galleries and museums: "Too bad you didn't come in November for La Noche de los Museos, when we could visit them all in one night for free," she said, teasingly. She also informed him that Buenos Aires was sometimes known as the 'City of Books', having over 700 bookstores and hosting the Buenos Aires International Book Fair, the most important literary event in the Spanish-speaking world. And as if all that weren't enough, Buenos Aires was also a destination for theatre lovers, as on any given weekend about three hundred theatres would be doing plays, more than London, New York, or Paris.

But after she imparted all this information, and he nodded dutifully and figured it was no surprise she enjoyed living here, she had other things to talk about. As they strolled through the historical centre, admiring the eclectic architectural styles, he sensed she had something heavy on her mind.

"Gray," she said, cautiously, like she didn't want to bring up painful things but had to ask anyway, "why did you decide to save me?"

"The Chief asked me the same question," he said. "The simple answer is that you didn't choose to work with V.I.L.E. It was… I don't know. Sure, there's something wrong about fighting each other, tricking each other, trapping each other, but it's a whole other level to invade your mind."

She frowned at him. "You didn't decide to quit when you found out they invaded your mind."

He winced. "Yeah, I know. And that did cross the line. But that was my choice. They still had something I wanted. I reasoned that mindwiping me to keep me out of trouble was at least… good for me, on some level, even if they were just looking out for themselves. They were… humane, ish, with me. Your case was the opposite. And it made me sick."

"Aww." She patted his shoulder. "I think I agree with you. When I think of Doctor Bellum's creepy devices…" She shuddered, and he put an arm around her and squeezed comfortingly. "What's the complicated answer?"

He hesitated, and pulled his arm away again as they walked along, shoving his hand back in his pocket, withdrawing back in on himself. "It was… a lot of fun to steal with you instead of against you. You're the best at what we do, no question about it. But… you… had no soul. It wasn't you. I know you. You're not capable of cruelty. The person I cared about in training… she wasn't there." She had made their little circle uncomfortable, with that artificial ruthlessness dialed up even higher than Sheena liked. "I wanted you back, even if you hated me."

She hunched into herself too. "Yeah. I'm glad you did." An arm snaked out and wrapped around his, though she was stoically looking away from him. "I couldn't hate you for helping me. Not in my right mind."

He patted her hand on his arm, then took a deep breath and let it out, deliberately relaxing. "I don't really want to talk about who I used to be. I don't know who I am now, but I'm not that. The only thing I'm certain of was getting your mind back was the best thing I ever did."

She managed a faint smile. "Who do you want to be, then?"

"I don't know. Your friend, for starters."

She smiled broader. "I think we can manage that. I really am happy to see you again. Things have been so complicated the last couple years that sometimes I thought we'd never get to just hang out anymore."

"Mm."

After a minute, she started getting a bit of a mischievous look on her face, and that sent a thrill down his spine. "Hey, Gray."

"Yeah?"

"You ever think about joining me?"

"What, on hunting down the rest of V.I.L.E.?"

"Usually. Or anyone else trying to steal priceless treasures. High-stakes heists, stealth missions, action, I still get it all, just… less frequently. More downtime. Which is nice, because sometimes my previous schedule was really bad for my health."

"What's the salary like?" he asked promptly.

"Well, it's not terrible," she said. "Oh, come on, it's not like you had time to roll in your oh-so-great riches when you were working for V.I.L.E."

"Pfft, I have you to thank for that," he said, teasing, elbowing her. "Run into A.C.M.E. much?"

"A bit, but they leave me alone now. I've earned their trust. And Zack and Ivy work for them, with Jules and Devineaux; even if Chief was convinced that I'd gone bad again, they'd never doubt me."

"And if I'm with you, they'll leave me alone too?"

"Yeah, pretty sure."

"I'll… I'll think about it. Thanks for the offer."

.

It had been a few weeks – much longer than he'd intended to stay, but the food was good, the city was engaging, and the kids at the orphanage really were cute – before he made up his mind. Not about joining Carmen on her vigilante mission, he'd decided that within a couple days of her asking. Obviously he was going to join her. And she'd been very happy about that, introducing him properly to Player, of whom he'd been momentarily jealous for his long relationship with Carmen before realizing there was literally no point to it. Before realizing maybe he ought to be grateful to Player for being a friend to Carmen in that period of her life when she'd had no real friends. And the kid was sassy as hell, he appreciated that.

As a result of his decision, Carmen had asked him to help her monitor one of the local museums, the Museo Nacional de Arte Decorativo, a former mansion-turned-art gallery, which had a large collection of historical European art. It was having a gala to celebrate the acquisition of a Manet painting, and Carmen had heard Dash Haber was going to try and steal it. He wasn't a fan of Dash, so this was fine with him.

He'd never seen her dressed up like this before, and her effortless crimson elegance stole his breath before they'd even left. Her gown was slit up to the thigh, hinting at long, toned legs, dancer's legs, and the way it flowed over her curves was mesmerizing. Her grey eyes were amused as she caught his reaction.

"You look amazing," he murmured, trying not to let his gaze wander too far.

"Thanks," she said, with a cheeky grin. "You don't look half-bad yourself."

He disagreed, privately. He was a very square person – not as square as Antonio, for instance, but still on the chunky side – and the tuxedo she'd dug up for him fit great but it was just… a tuxedo. Hardly the equal of this goddess.

"Guys, are you going to do this all night?" Player butted in, teasing.

"Have a look at her on the security cameras and tell me I'm wrong," Gray retorted. He bowed to Carmen and offered an arm. "My lady."

She took his arm gracefully, but gave him an arch look. "There's something off about you saying things like that."

"What, like I can't be a gentleman?"

"Can you?" She was teasing, but it didn't help him feel less insecure. Still, they had a mission, so he just had to laugh it off and get on with it.

Besides that touchy-feely hiccup, the evening was everything he could have hoped for. The painting, dramatically disappearing at the moment of its unveiling; Gray, dispatched to the back rooms of the museum to work his magic; Carmen, putting those long legs to good use in chasing down the thief over the rooftop; and through it all Player cheerfully talking them through the twists and turns.

It was like when Carmen had been on V.I.L.E.'s side… but better. Sure, it would have been even better if Antonio and Jean-Paul and… yes, even Sheena could have been there, but just the three of them, running, bantering, being clever together, it… made him feel good.

And when the dust had settled, and the painting was back in its rightful place, and the police were in pursuit of Dash Haber – though he'd probably get away this time – Carmen gave him such a look of affectionate pride that his heart jumped. He made up his mind, switching his radio over to a private channel. "Say, Player, could we have some privacy?"

"I knew it," Player groaned. There was a pause. "By the way, I didn't say anything before, because I wasn't sure you were sticking around, but you do anything to hurt her and I'll make you an internationally wanted man for real."

"Yeah, got it." Gray smiled. "Thanks, kiddo."

"Don't push me, Crackle."

He turned off his radio and headed over to where Carmen had just slipped outside into the garden, where there were fewer people, and more space he could talk to her in. "Hey, Carmen."

"That went well," she said, smiling. "Was it fun for you?"

"Yeah." Not least because she really was happy about the result. None of that cold-blooded satisfaction she'd had when mindwiped. It was worth giving up a lucrative life of crime to see her smile like that. "I'd do that again." He offered her his arm again, and she took it, and they strolled out aimlessly.

"You remember when we went for coffee in Sydney?" he asked.

"I remember," she said. "Is that part fuzzy because it was… you know…?"

"Nah. I remember it fine. I was wondering, was it weird for you?"

"A bit," she said. "The whole brainwashing thing aside, you were always like a big brother to me in school, so having you flirt with me was… unexpected."

"Oh," he said, his heart sinking down to his stomach, which was tying itself in knots. "Do you… still feel that way?"

She stopped and arched a perfectly curved eyebrow at him, and that started his heart beating again. "Should I?"

He grinned nervously. "I'll admit you were like a little sister to me in school, too. But then, you were just a kid then. And I was a stupid, worldly 21-year-old. And… things have changed, since then. Including my feelings for you."

She was starting to smile – and to blush, and that set his heart racing. "I kind of felt you wouldn't have risked everything to save me the way you did if you didn't feel pretty strongly about me, but I didn't want to assume. And maybe I was a little afraid of more change where you were involved. But…"

"That's pretty much it," he said. "The more time I spend with you, the more I love you. The more I want you to be free and happy. But I wanted to ask if there was a chance you could be happy with me."

"Yeah." She squeezed his arm. "Yeah, there is."

They strolled on, grinning like a pair of lunatics.

"I like seeing you smile," she said. "You have a good smile, with those dimples, and I feel like I haven't gotten to see you relaxed like this often enough."

"You like my smile?" He gave her a slightly incredulous look. "Your smile is out of this world, you know. Can I say again how gorgeous you are? Because you're always gorgeous. But tonight you're especially gorgeous."

"Aww…" She really was blushing now. "Stahpit, Gray, you tease."

"I'm not teasing. You're the most amazing person I know and you're a knock-out. It's not fair."

She shot him a look. "What, like you're not wildly smart and sexy yourself?"

"Crikey." That did it. He pulled her into his arms and bent down to kiss her like he'd been imagining for ages. She kissed him back, warm and strong and vibrant. He tried to put his hand into her up-do, to release those luscious red waves, but she had too many hairpins in.

She pulled away, wincing. "Oh, don't do that. I spent too much time putting it up to just let it down now. I'll let you play with my hair later, okay?"

He laughed. "You sound like you're talking to one of the kids. But I'll wait. Patiently. Like a-"

"Shut up," she said, and kissed him again.