Jasper had become a bit of a loner. It wasn't uncommon for his kind, nomads were known to wander around by themselves, or perhaps in groups of two or three. Some nomads, if they were lucky, had found their mates and were content to just be with them.
Jasper was not that lucky. He thought he'd found his mate in Alice when they'd first met. He'd reasoned with himself that if she'd waited for so long for him, how could it be anything else? They weren't mates, as it turned out. At this point, he wasn't sure if they were really even friends anymore
Suffice to say, it was a messy divorce. Alice, for once, hadn't seen it coming and was completely gobsmacked by him delivering the divorce papers to their shared bedroom. She wasn't very happy with him but had eventually agreed to hear him out.
She was even less happy with him when he told her that he wanted to meet his mate. It was difficult for him to be around Carlisle and Esme, and Rosalie and Emmett. To feel the joy and happiness and just the general serenity of the mated couples. Especially when he didn't feel it between him and Alice.
They were close enough, for a couple, but the ease of being together that the other couples had just wasn't there for them. There wasn't anything wrong with their relationship, it just wasn't what he wanted. They fought, as all couples do, but Jasper could feel that wasn't the same as when the mated couples fought. It was something more intense, more harshly felt.
Essentially it boiled down to Jasper feeling like Alice was trying to change him. He felt she was overbearing and could feel her deception when she told him that she'd seen something. Jasper wasn't the mind reader of the group, so he couldn't tell for sure or not whether she was being truthful or not with her supposed visions but something didn't feel right sometimes. Like when she'd seen him doing something that he wouldn't normally do, but something it seemed like someone perfect for her would do for her. They weren't mates, they both knew that. Alice seemed to want to be mates more than Jasper did. She tried to make him perfect for her because if she didn't have her mate, surely he was just as good.
After the divorce, life got increasingly uncomfortable with the Cullens. Logically, Jasper knew that they saw him as a son or brother as equally as they saw the rest of their family belonging. It didn't change that he sometimes felt left out, though.
The rest of the family had a much easier time with their unorthodox diet than Jasper did. They all struggled from time to time, their throats always burned a little, even immediately after feeding. It was part of the diet, animal blood didn't satisfy them the way human blood did.
It didn't help that Jasper, as an empath, felt all of their emotions, including their bloodlust. So when a member of the family struggled, he felt their struggle too. The sixth time he came dangerously close to slipping up due to a family member's bloodlust, he decided to leave. It would be safer for them, and they would be able to relax a little without having to worry for him.
He told the Cullens it was because he needed a break, some time alone. They all guessed it was because of his and Alice's divorce. He hadn't told them about his exaggerated struggles because of them. The Cullens all understood, with Carlisle reiterating that he was always welcome, and Esme tearfully telling him to keep in touch.
Part of it probably was the divorce, or rather the realisation that led to the divorce. He wanted to find the person that was handmade to be a match to him. The emotions that Carlisle and Esme had given off were so soothing, and it was easy to see that they were perfect for each other. Jasper knew that Edward and Alice were the other unmated vampires in their strange family, and he knew that they longed for their mates as much as he did.
It was obvious to him that while Alice had decided that she couldn't wait for her mate and a stand-in was acceptable, Edward was the opposite. He wanted to wait for his mate, to experience all of his first's with her. First date, first kiss, all of it. Part of it was probably due to his human life and the values that had been embedded in him since he was a child. Not just by his human parents, but by Carlisle as well who fully conformed to the thought that mates were to be respected and revered.
Jasper respected this thought process as well. He had seen, and felt, the contentment that mates brought to each other. He just wished he had the same that the others had. He figured it would be easier to find his mate if he became a nomad. Not only would it give him more opportunity to meet vampires, but also to meet humans. The Cullens could forget sometimes that not all vampires were as friendly as they were, and that warier covens would avoid them if they smelled the larger coven because of the threat they posed. It was instinctual. The urge to run became even more instinctual when they spotted Jasper and the plethora of bite scars that littered his body. To a vampire it screamed that this vampire was dangerous.
It wasn't wrong. Jasper was dangerous - he had fought in Civil Wars both as a human and a vampire. Not quite the same war, but he was willing to bet that most vampires hadn't fought in either. Jasper ached to forget that time of his life but he couldn't when the evidence was scattered across him. He couldn't forget when he met another vampire and his first thought was how to beat them. He didn't regret his time in the war.
He couldn't. It had led him to his best friends. If he hadn't chosen to be a nomad, he would have settled with Peter and Charlotte. As it was he made sure to go visit them every few years. And there was no question that, if he did choose to settle with Peter and Charlotte, that he would be the leader of the coven.
Jasper probably was the leader of their coven, but he didn't quite want to admit it. Vampire brains were useful in that way - it was much easier to push a thought away and allow yourself to become overwhelmed with other thoughts. Vampire brains were also much sneakier because that thought always came back up when it was unexpected. For Jasper, the thought came to him as he was absent-mindedly digging a hole in some woods to bury the deer he had just drained. He wasn't too far from Texas, he could go stray and see the mated couple. It wasn't like he had a set route to anywhere.
It might come in handy, actually. As annoying as it could be, Peter had a knack. He wouldn't call it a gift, but it couldn't really be described as anything else. Well, it could - Peter called it hearing voices and often disregarded anything it said unless it seemed particularly important.
Jasper and Peter had worked hard to train the gift when they fought together in Maria's army, looking equally for a way out and a way to stay alive. The voices had provided both and since then Peter had been less than receptive to its input. He still listened, and usually swore at it when it turned out to be right, but ignored it anyway. Jasper couldn't work it out but he didn't need to.
He'd only be responsible for the idiot if he was his coven leader, which he was determinedly not thinking about.