To Begin Again

set in present day but all fanfiction hopes and dreams for Towen

Owen woke up to the familiar smell of their bedroom. Their bedroom. The one he had been back in and sleeping next to the love of his life for 6 weeks now. He guided his hand across the soft sheets feeling for Teddy's body. It was pitch black. There wasn't an inkling of daylight coming through the closed blinds. He turned his body around in the bed and looked at the clock. 4:10 AM. His heart jumped for a second wondering where Teddy was. He knew she wasn't on-call.

He made his way past the barely lit room with only the twinkle of a dimly lit brass sconce coming from their bathroom to light his path. Making his way off the rug he slid his foot across the chilled hardwood floor finding his slippers. Now to find Teddy. He thought she must be in Allison's room. Allison had been waking at odd hours for the past couple of nights only wanting Teddy. Teddy had stopped breast feeding months ago but at times Allison still cried for her wanting to be held only by her mama. And he noticed the same with Teddy. Teddy didn't always mind Allison waking up and needing her, holding her close to her body until she got her to fall back asleep.

But the past couple of nights something was off with the both of them. He figured Teddy was sleep deprived. He suggested for her to take a day off of her shift even though he knew she wouldn't and last night she had come home looking exhausted, though he didn't dare tell her that. Instead he made them dinner and did what he could to help get the kids down. Perhaps that was what triggered his wake-up. He knew something was wrong.

He listened at Allison's door before walking in. He didn't hear any cries or babbles. Allison had begun the first phases of toddler talk, repeating everything and attempting sentences to get what she wanted across but for now it only came out as cute broken sentence babbles for which melted both Teddy and Owen every time they were with her. Her little personality was beginning to come through and he saw so much of Teddy in her. But in contrast, Teddy would say the same thing, that she saw so much of Owen in Allison. He opened the doorly quitely only hearing the white noise of the sound machine come through.

Until a small sniffle came from Allison's closet. His suspicion was true. Here Teddy was in Allison's room but baby Allison was on her belly asleep in her crib with stuffed animals at her feet looking as content as ever.

Owen made his way to the closet and knocked ever so lightly as not to frighten Teddy and wake Allison up. Teddy pushed the closet door open a crack to acknowledge Owen's presence and welcome him in. Owen opened the closet enough to guide his body through and the stark light stunned his eyes for a moment. He closed the door behind him and sat next to Teddy who was leaning back on a life-sized stuffed giraffe and folding baby clothing.

Teddy. Owen said softly. It's 4 AM.

I know. Teddy replied, not changing her gaze from the clothing.

He noticed the sadness in her "I know" and slid his hand up the top of her back resting it behind the bottom of her neck making soft up and down motions.

Teddy. (He paused.) Talk to me.

She lifted her head and stopped folding the clothing.

Owen. I think I'm pregnant. She said with a squeezed smile and head tilt, trying her hardest not to completely break down and ruin the moment.

She began to ramble no longer looking directly at him. I. I mean. I haven't taken a test or anything yet. But last night Allison pulled on my shirt wanting to feed which she hasn't done in forever. Since we began to wean. And I just pulled her in closer squeezing her next to my chest. And I noticed how horribly sore my boobs are. Then I went back to bed after I got her down trying to sleep before my shift and I couldn't get my mind off of it. I had a restless sleep then woke up and tried my best to make it through my work day. I noticed how out of breath I was when I fast walked inside running slightly late for a zoom meeting and basically wheezing when I got to the elevator. Then I tried to chalk it up to working out less with the pandemic. But then I got to my office and I looked at my calendar after my meeting and I'm so late. Like two weeks late. So by my calculations when we got together again 6 weeks ago. We got pregnant. Again. And boy are we the most fertile mid-forties people alive she paused putting her hand to her forehead. And yes it would have been simple enough to take a test at some point during my workday today but I wanted, if it's true, to do this with you 100% of the way this time so I came home and you were making dinner and singing with the kids and I completely forgot about it all for a minute and then we laid in bed and I was so exhausted emotionally and physically and I should have told you then but you rubbed my hair and I guess I fell asleep and here we are. Me waking up halfway through the night checking on Allison because she has been so attached to me for days and then I came in here to finish laundry. LAUNDRY. And I saw the box of some of her baby clothing and I got it out and here I am crying over how much our baby girl has already grown-up. Teddy began to cough losing her breath from her ramble. Owen still rubbing her back shocked and squealing inside but still gauging Teddy's reaction as she was catching her breath. She continues. And if I am pregnant. We're having another baby and now she began to tear up completely losing her words. Owen picks up where Teddy left off reassuring her-

I know. I know Teddy. Hey. It's ok. I love you. I would love to have another baby with you but hey, let's go back to bed. Come on he says rubbing her back once more and taking her hand guiding her up to standing. We can do this tomorrow, he says. He's Holding her now. She lets herself melt into his arms. She lets herself breathe. She lets herself feel happy about the possibility. She lets herself lay down next to him in their bed rubbing his chest as he rubs her hair as they fall back asleep.

TO BE CONTINUED- hopefully.