Title: Someone Like Him
Characters: Mouri Jusaburou, Ochi Tsukimitsu
"Look, it's not you—it's me."
Ochi had lost count of how many times he had heard that exact same excuse when the person he was trying to date decided to break up.
"I just need someone different, you know? You're a wonderful guy, but you're just not my type after all."
Of course, any woman would flock towards him the moment they laid eyes upon his impressively towering frame. He stuck out like a sore thumb with his electric blue highlights and general lack of expression. It was what attracted women to him in the first place.
"I just need someone I can understand."
When they got past his dashing looks, every single woman he's dated immediately realized that the air of mystery surrounding him wasn't real. It was all just an illusion that the world around him made up.
"I'm sorry."
He would just stare in silence as she walked away from him. No tears were shed. He wouldn't chase after her and beg her to reconsider. He just let it all happen passively. He never felt compelled to do anything about it. He always wondered why he never felt anything whenever these relationships ended and why it kept happening to him. Was he really that unapproachable? 'That couldn't possibly be it', he thought, but he had no other ideas.
There was a lot of pressure surrounding Ochi to finally settle down and get married to someone. He was turning 32 in a few month's time—way above the average age people normally would get married in the country. His mother had been haggling him to give her a grandchild ever since he graduated university. Though he was used to being the one to put immense mental pressure on others, the same could not be said when he was under the same kind of pressure.
Days had passed since that breakup, but he still found himself going to the same rendezvous spot he would normally meet his most recent ex at. He fumbled around in his coat pocket and forgot he had placed two tickets to an art exhibit there. He sighed as he took a look at the date, realizing that it was happening the next day. There was no point in lamenting over what had happened, but he still found himself brooding over it slightly. He was ready to tear them in half, but stopped himself when something crimson passed by his peripheral vision.
He looked up to see another man walking past him—messy red hair tied back in a messy ponytail, cigarette dwindling between his chapped lips, an unamused gaze down at his phone, and general lack of awareness of his surroundings as he made his way forward. There was a light stubble all over his chin. His right ear was adorned with several piercings, but his left ear had nothing. Something compelled Ochi to read his hand out and grab ahold of the man's lanky shoulder. When their eyes met, a wave of nostalgia seemed to overwhelm them both.
"Tsuki-san?! Oh man, it's been ages since we last saw each other!" the man smiled cheerfully. "Still as tall as ever, huh?"
"Mouri..."
It had been well over a decade since he had last played tennis and even longer since he had last seen his super cheery and upbeat doubles partner. He had lost contact with Mouri Jusaburou shortly after he graduated, but he never stopped thinking about trying to find him again and reach out. He never managed to find time to do so, or he would often make up excuses about how Mouri likely forgot about him and didn't want to be bothered. It was just a very strange coincidence that he managed to pass by him on the streets all these years later.
"You look sad, Tsuki-san," his old friend pointed out. "Did a girl break your heart?"
"Not really," he answered. "You look... different."
He removed the cigarette from his mouth and extinguished it in a portable ashtray he took out of his pocket. "Isn't that what happens when people grow up?"
"I suppose..."
Mouri looked down at the tickets in Ochi's hands and swiped them away from him.
"Oh! You're so lucky, Tsuki-san! I wanted to see this exhibit, but all the tickets were sold out," he pouted before handing them back. "I shouldn't keep you waiting for much longer, but it was nice seeing you after so long!"
Ochi just stared down at him without responding. Judging by the slight twitches in his facial expression, Mouri figured that there was no one waiting for him.
"Mouri... Did you want to go?" he asked, rather hesitantly.
"Me?" He seemed taken aback by the sudden invitation. "Well... I guess? Bit of a short notice for a date, Tsuki-san," he joked.
"...Sorry."
Mouri laughed, which made the former mental assassin's heart skip a tiny beat. "Even after all these years, you still take me too seriously." He playfully took one of the tickets from Ochi's hands. "We should exchange numbers!"
Ochi nodded as he took out his phone to exchange each other's numbers before Mouri smiled at him as he waved goodbye. Ochi felt warm and fuzzy on the inside as he watched his old doubles partner walk off into the sea of people. He felt excited for the first time in a long time.
Mouri texted first. The two agreed to meet at a nearby cafe for a coffee before heading into the gallery. For some reason, this really made Ochi nervous. He was used to spending a lot of time alone with Mouri, so he wasn't sure why he was feeling this way all of a sudden. He brushed it off as a consequence of not speaking for so long and tried to think of conversation starters instead.
It had been years since they last spoke. What would they even talk about? High school was long ago. Did he still play tennis? What did he do with his life? Would it be appropriate for him to ask about his smoking habits? He started to overthink about every possible situation and wondered how Mouri would react. Would he still react in the same way he used to? How much has he changed? Just thinking about it made him more anxious.
He did not get much sleep the night before, so the coffee meetup was very much needed. Ochi had arrived ten minutes ahead of schedule and stood outside of the cafe, waiting for Mouri to show up. Normally, he was used to people staring at him because of his insane height, but today, he felt unnerved when people looked in his direction. There was a strange sense of shame that he couldn't describe. Luckily for him, Mouri was early for once in his life.
"Tsuki-san! Early as always, I see," he grinned. "Why didn't you just grab a table and sit down?"
Ochi shrugged, which only made the redhead laugh.
"Okay, why don't I get us coffee and you get us a table? I want to sit outside. It's such a nice day today that it'd be a shame to sit indoors."
"Okay," he nodded.
"How do you like your coffee, Tsuki-san?"
"Black."
Mouri made a slightly disgusted face before walking inside the tiny store to order. Ochi, meanwhile, scanned the outdoor seating area and found a table that was neither in the path of the sun's harsh rays nor the crisp autumn breeze that was blowing gently. It didn't take much longer before his old partner returned with a hot cup of pitch-black coffee in one hand and a cold iced latte in the other. Mouri set the hot one in front of Ochi gently before lazily dragging the chair across from him out and plopping himself down in it. Ochi couldn't help but smile at the fact that some things haven't really changed.
"So," Mouri began as he unwrapped his straw and stuck it into his cup, "what have you been up to all this time? It's been, like, fifteen years since I last saw you?"
"Nothing interesting," he answered before he took a small sip of his drink. It was really bitter, but he didn't mind it. "I work at a university as a lecturer."
"Huh, really? You?" Mouri was taken aback at the strange career choice, considering he remembered his doubles partner was not the talkative type.
Ochi nodded. "What about you?"
"Oh, me?" He leaned back in his chair and instinctively reached into his pocket to take out his crumpled cigarette packet and lighter. "Just your average salaryman, you know?" He took out one and placed it in his mouth. "Oh, do you mind if I smoke, Tsuki-san?"
"Not really..."
Mouri could sense the uneasiness behind his tone and took the thing out of his mouth and shoved it back in the packet. "You don't need to lie, Tsuki-san. It's not gonna kill me if I don't have one right now."
"When did you start?"
He closed his eyes and thought about it. "Probably when I got pressured into doing it when I started working at my first company? It was a social thing, but I can't find it in me to quit."
"I see..."
Mouri leaned forward and rested his elbows on the tabletop. "So, how's the love life? Anyone special at all?" A mischievous grin was forming on his thin, chapped lips.
"No..." Ochi found himself getting lost in Mouri's deep brown eyes. "I just recently got out of a relationship."
"Really?" he gasped. "Tell me everything."
"I'd rather not."
"Your life is this interesting and you don't want to even talk about it? Gosh, Tsuki-san, you're the same as always," Mouri pouted.
"What about you, Mouri?"
The younger man bursted out in laughter. "As if I could ever get married, Tsuki-san!"
Ochi looked at him with a puzzled expression as Mouri tried to calm himself down enough to speak.
"Sorry, but that was just hilarious," he sighed as he wiped away the joyful tears from his eyes. "It's hard enough for me to date as is and marriage is out of the question for someone like me."
"What do you mean by that?" He thought it was strange that someone with such a mundane job did not have time to get married, let alone date someone.
"It's a secret," he winked as he finished the rest of his drink in one gulp. The cold drink sent a small shiver up his spine. "Whew! Hurry up and finish your coffee, Tsuki-san. We're going to be late to the exhibit if you don't."
"Ah." He picked up the cup and started to drink the bitter liquid, wondering what his old partner meant by 'someone like him'.
The exhibit was not as crowded as either of them thought it would be despite being sold out for months. Perhaps they just got lucky and came at a time where no one was there. Either way, the atmosphere was rather relaxing with the subtle jazz playing in the background of the dim gallery. Each of the pieces were illuminated with harsh fluorescence, which created a bold contrast with the rest of the room. Ochi was taken aback by the subject matter of the exhibit. He only got the tickets because the person he was going to go to the exhibit with wanted to see it. He had no particular interest in post-modernism nor did he really understand it. Despite this, his discomfort and shock only lasted as long as Mouri's silence, which was not long at all.
"Let's look at that one over there," he excitedly pointed at a large oil painting while grabbing ahold of his companion's jacket sleeve.
The two weaved through the crowd to reach the back of the room, where a rather large Pollock-esque painting hung. Ochi watched as Mouri stared at it intently, studying the meticulous splatters and trying to mimic the way the artist must've painted it.
"Wow, this one is neat," he commented. "Honestly, I never knew you were into this kind of thing, Tsuki-san."
"I'm not."
Mouri snickered. "Why don't I enlighten you on the subject, then?"
"I suppose..."
The two spent hours roaming about the gallery. The entire time, Ochi wondered why Mouri was so knowledgeable about the subject matter, but he was grateful that he got to learn how to appreciate something like this. They could've spent hours longer there if their tickets weren't timed and they had to leave.
"Whew, that was so much fun," Mouri sighed as he stretched his arms up above his head. "Thanks for the invite, Tsuki-san."
He nodded. "Thank you for the lesson."
"Haha, anytime. You have my number, after all," he smirked as he took out his crumpled cigarette packet once more.
"You should probably quit," Ochi frowned.
Mouri shrugged as he placed one in his mouth and lit it. "Should've, could've, would've. I have nothing to look forward to, so it doesn't matter to me if I die from this," he replied.
"Don't say something like that," he scolded. "There's a lot to look forward to."
"Like what?" he asked. There was a bitter undertone to his reply. "I can't live the life I want. Not here, anyway, for someone like me."
Another vague answer that set off alarm bells in Ochi's head. "What do you mean?"
"...Nevermind. Forget I said anything," he sighed. A plume of smoke billowed out from between his lips. "You wouldn't understand, Tsuki-san."
"I'd be willing to try," he answered.
"Not without a drink first," he snorted. "Sorry, Tsuki-san, but I'm not going to offload that can of worms on you so soon. It's not exactly something I wanna talk about with an old friend I haven't seen in literal years."
"Then... Next time?"
Mouri was stunned that his old doubles partner was so persistent. It was a strange change of pace from his usual silent demeanor.
"Only if you promise to talk about yourself too."
"Alright," he agreed.
A small smile grew on Mouri's face. "Next weekend, then? I'll arrange the time and place."
Ochi nodded his head in agreement. It wasn't much longer before the both of them parted ways. Mouri watched as the tree-like human being walked away from him in the direction of the station, sticking out like a sore thumb until he disappeared behind the street corner. He wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or laugh at how stupid the past 48 hours had been.
"Calm yourself down, Jusaburou. It was just the two of you hanging out—just like before. There's no deeper meaning to it," he told himself as he took another draw of the cigarette in his mouth.
The week had passed by in the blink of an eye. Before either of them knew it, they were sitting beside each other at a cozy little bar tucked away in an alleyway off of the main road. Mouri was already one drink deep by the time his old partner had arrived. Fortunately for him, he could hold down his liquor well and barely felt the buzz from his first glass of whiskey.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," he mumbled as he sat down beside him.
"Late lecture?" he joked as he finished off the last of his cigarette.
Ochi shook his head. "Mother."
"Oh? Pestering you about getting married?" he guessed.
He nodded. "What's that?" he asked as he gestured at Mouri's almost empty cup.
"Rubbing alcohol," he answered as he stuck out his tongue. "Care for a taste?"
"...No."
"Don't blame ya." He picked up the drink menu that was resting on his other side and handed it to Ochi. "I'll buy this round."
"Alright. Then..." He pointed at something random without much of a second thought.
The bartender seemed to know exactly what Ochi was pointing at and made the drink within seconds. He was taken aback at the speed, but graciously accepted the colourful concoction without a fuss.
"So, why is someone like you still single, Tsuki-san?" There was a mischievous glint in Mouri's eyes as he poked and prodded away at his untalkative friend. "I remember girls used to be all over you back in high school."
Ochi let out a defeated sigh. "It's... complicated," he decided. "Mouri... May I ask you something?"
"Of course," he agreed. "What is it?"
"Am I... hard to understand?"
Mouri looked puzzled. "Why are you asking that?"
Another sigh. Ochi took a sip of his unusually sweet and candy-like drink. "They all said that to me when we break up. Every single one of them."
"Every single one of them? I don't believe you," Mouri admitted, surprised at the revelation.
Ochi looked like he wanted to hide his face in shame as Mouri racked his brain, trying to figure out why anyone would think that.
"Oh, I think I understand!" He turned to look at his friend. "You rarely talk and you're very good at hiding your intentions, Tsuki-san."
"Is that so..." The stone-cold mental assassin looked as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Maybe you just need to talk to them more. Or, you could date someone who does get you without even talking to you, like me!" he chuckled. "I jest, but I do hope you find someone who loves you unconditionally."
"Thank you, Mouri," was his soft reply. There was a red flush beginning to show on Ochi's pearlescent face. "I hope the same for you as well."
He shook his head as his enthusiasm faded into a sad smile. "If only that was possible for someone like me."
Ochi raised an eyebrow. It was that same phrase again. "What do you mean?"
"Well—"
"Yo, Jusa, is that you?!" a voice from the entrance to the establishment called out to the two men.
Mouri felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "That voice..."
The two turned around and saw a flamboyantly-dressed man excitedly approaching the both of them, slinging one of his arms around Mouri when he got to them.
"Damn, look at you go, Jusa. I thought you were done with men," he laughed.
"W-what are you doing here, Yuu?" Mouri managed to get out.
"What? Just because my ex is here means I can't also be here?" He looked mildly offended.
"Look, Yuu, now really isn't the time—"
But the strange man did not seem to notice Mouri's pleas for him to stop running his mouth.
"He's an absolute control freak in bed. I'd watch out if I were you, bud," he whispered into Ochi's ear.
"Okay, that's enough," Mouri raised his voice as he stood up. "I don't know what you're getting at, but this isn't a date, Yuu. Seriously, get over me and stop trying to interfere with my life."
Mouri reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He rummaged through the folds and slammed a few large bills onto the bar counter before stuffing it back and stormed out of the bar. Ochi noticed that he left his jacket on the chair and grabbed it, running after him.
"Mouri!"
"Stay away from me, Tsuki-san!" he shouted, making him stop in his tracks.
"Mouri—"
"I'm gay, alright?" he confessed as he turned around to look at Ochi with his tear-stained face. "Happy endings don't exist for someone like me."
The taller man was silent, unable to find any sort of words of comfort to offer. Instead, he just watched as Mouri ran away from him into the busy night time city streets, disappearing into the crowds that gathered.
Days had passed since Ochi last had contact with Mouri. Any text he sent would just end with a read receipt and nothing else. All of his phone calls went straight to his voicemail. He was starting to worry about his old friend, but he had no idea where he could possibly be. At the same time, he mulled over what Mouri had told him that eventful night. 'Was I really that hard to understand?' he wondered. 'If that was the case, why did Mouri understand me?'
He was always misunderstood due to his dislike for speaking in general, but Mouri Jusaburou was the only one who ever 'got' him. He never felt the need to speak more than he needed to since Mouri could communicate for him instead. They were just in sync with each other and he liked that aspect of their relationship a lot.
'Relationship, huh...'
Why didn't he just date Mouri instead? They got along so well back in the day, but even after a decade's worth of distance, the conversation flowed as naturally as it did back then. To him, it seemed like the most logical option. It wasn't like he was opposed to dating another man—he just never thought about it until recently. But, thinking about that possibility just made his mind wander back to what Mouri kept constantly telling him.
From that time at the cafe before that exhibit. 'It's hard enough for me to date as is and marriage is out of the question for someone like me.'
After their fun afternoon at the gallery. 'I can't live the life I want. Not here, anyway, for someone like me.'
When they were mulling over drinks about their lives not being typical. 'If only that was possible for someone like me.'
And, finally, when he abruptly ran away from him. 'Happy endings don't exist for someone like me.'
It finally dawned on him what Mouri meant by 'someone like him'. HIs unusual pessimism was rather justified, but Ochi had to wonder if he could be the one to give Mouri the happiness he deserved. No, he thought, he had to be the one to give him the love he deserved. There were a hundred questions he wanted to ask, but he snapped back to reality.
He had to find Mouri.
His eyes wandered around his room and he noticed the extra jacket he brought back home from the other night. Muttering a small 'sorry' beforehand, he went through the pockets of it, hoping that he could find something—anything—that could give him a hint as to where he could possibly find him. Luck would have it that he found a small business card holder containing several copies of Mouri's card. Knowing where he worked, Ochi put the holder back in the place he found it and put on his own jacket before leaving.
Ochi had no thought-out plan by the time he arrived at the address listed on the card. He felt a strange fluttering feeling in his stomach as he tried to think about the best way to approach the situation at hand. The first obstacle was trying to find a way in, which would be easier said than done if he were not freakishly tall and super noticeable to begin with. Brooding over it would only waste more time and draw even more attention than he was already getting just by being there. He took out his phone and just sent a simple message, knowing Mouri would read it.
'I'm outside.'
He snapped a quick photo of the building and sent it alongside the simple text.
It did not take long for the same man who was ghosting him to appear, slightly panicked.
"What are you doing here?"
"Mouri, we need to talk."
The disheveled redhead just sighed. "I told you to stay away from me. Don't you get it? If you associate with me—"
"I like you," he interrupted. His cheeks were slowly turning pink as those words left his mouth.
Mouri felt like his brain was malfunctioning. "Huh?"
"I like you," Ochi repeated. "Can we please talk about this?"
Mouri wondered what kind of hell loop he was trapped in, but standing out there—trying to figure it out—would only waste more time that he did not have.
"Fine," he sighed, "but after work, okay? I have to go back."
"Okay," he nodded. "I'll wait."
Mouri hadn't seen the ardent determination in Ochi's striking blue eyes in such a long time. It made him realize that he wasn't dreaming as he headed back to his desk, but he wondered why he was running away once again. He turned back to look in the direction he came from, only to see the same eyes he fell in love with staring back. The next thing he knew, he was running back towards him. Ochi was a bit surprised by the sudden change of heart, but he seemed receptive to it.
"Tsuki-san... Are you—"
"Yes, I'm serious," he interjected before Mouri could finish.
"Is this some kind of joke, Tsuki-san?" He felt his eyes well up in frustration. "I've spent fifteen years hiding these feelings from you, and now... Now, you're telling me you feel the same? This just can't be real."
"Do you want to talk about it now, then?" Ochi asked him plainly.
"Why do you think I came back? I need you to explain everything to me." A tiny smile cracked on his exhausted face.
"But, your job—"
"Consequences be damned, Tsuki-san." Mouri was not in the mood to delay the conversation further and grabbed a hold of his friend's wrist, dragging the both of them somewhere private to hash things out.
Fortunately, there was a park conveniently located in the area that Mouri knew like the back of his hand. He led them down a slightly beaten path from the main one until they found themselves by the side of the man-made pond. There was a wooden bench slightly rotting away, which Mouri forced Ochi to sit down on as he paced back and forth in front of him.
"Am I still dreaming?" he asked himself out loud.
"No," Ochi responded, not realizing the question was rhetorical.
"Tsuki-san, do you understand what you're saying?" Mouri asked him. "Liking someone like me... Are you saying you're—"
"I don't know," he answered firmly. "I get this... strange feeling in my stomach when I'm with you. Only you."
"Feeling of disgust? Pity? Rage?"
"No..."
"I don't understand..." He plopped himself down beside Ochi and tilted to the side, resting his head on his partner's bony shoulder. "All these years, I thought you only liked women because you'd only ever date women."
"I don't," was his simple reply. "And I don't like men either."
Mouri sat back up straight and looked at him in confusion. "Huh? But—"
"I only like you, Mouri Jusaburou."
The younger man felt like his brain was frying to a crisp. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"It's... easier to be with you... Someone who understands me..."
"Tsuki-san, do you understand what kind of situation you're getting yourself into? If you're serious about this, then..." His voice trailed off, too afraid to continue his thought. 'You'll never be happy with someone like me.'
"I don't think I can be happy unless I can spend the rest of my life with you," Ochi concluded, almost as if he was able to read Mouri's anxious thoughts. "And... I want to make you happy... You deserve it, too..."
"Tsuki-san..." He couldn't contain his laughter, but his heart ached as he wiped the tears trickling down from his eyes. "What's gotten into you? I can't believe any of this."
"How can I prove to you that I'm serious, Mouri?" he asked.
"Close your eyes, then."
Ochi did as he was told, wondering what was going to happen next. It wasn't long before the faint taste of tobacco and fifteen years of unrequited, one-sided feelings brushed his tongue as he felt a firm, yet familiar sensation on his lips. Though he's kissed many others in the past, it felt different with Mouri. There was a spark that he couldn't quite explain, but liked nonetheless. it made him want more.
"Well?" Mouri asked. "Did you feel anything?"
"I... don't know," he answered, eyes still closed. "Could you do it again?"
Mouri felt like his soul was exiting the plane of existence he was on, but he decided to not hold back this time. He had spent fifteen years mulling over these feelings and Ochi could feel the agony, frustration, elation, and warmth in those long seconds they made contact.
"...Sorry," Ochi apologized.
"What for, Tsuki-san?"
"Making you wait all these years."
"Better late than never, right?" Mouri grinned from ear to ear. "By the way, Tsuki-san, why are your eyes still closed?"
He slowly opened his eyes, only to be greeted by Mouri's deep chestnut-brown eyes staring right back at him. "You never said to open them, so..." His meek response only made Mouri laugh harder.
"You really do take me too seriously, Tsuki-san," he sighed. "Not that I mind. That's one of the reasons why I fell in love with you."
"Mouri..."
"There's a lot you want to talk about, right?" He stood up and offered his hand to Ochi. "Let's go, Tsuki-san."
"Where?"
"Who cares? We got the rest of our lives to figure out, yeah?"
"I suppose..." He hesitantly reached out and took his hand.
Neither of them were really sure where they were going to go, but they walked forward, hand in hand. Even the strange, creepy, or disgusted stares in their direction didn't seem to faze them. As the two made their way through the streets, they passed by a couple of trash cans outside of a convenience store. Mouri stopped, fished out his cigarette packet from his pocket, opened it up to check that it was still mostly full, and stuffed it into the trash. Ochi looked surprised as he watched him throw out all of them without hesitation.
"About time I quit, right? There's something to live for, after all," he smiled.
A/N: Wow, a story where I don't kill off someone AND it has a happy ending? Impossible. This is severely out of my comfort level and league, so sorry if it sucked.