Disclaimer: Attack on Titan doesn't belong to me.
Notes: Extremely sappy old men but they heal my heart soooo I hope they heal yours too :3. Originally written for the song challenge, but I edited it so much it seemed good enough to stand on its own.
The orange sunset light bathing the corridors of the Scouting Legion's headquarters is hurting captain Levi's eyes. Maybe this was a bad idea, but well, screw it, it once seemed okay and he didn't turn back on his word. He was going to ask him about it, Erwin like it or not.
He doesn't bother knocking at the door, grabbing the doorknob and swinging the door open wildly in a mist of emotions too complex for him to process yet. Levi looks inside, eyes searching the place until they settle on what he has been looking for: Erwin is lying on top of the covers, with a hand on his forehead and a book by his side as he almost falls asleep. Levi considers yelling at him, then abandons the idea, because times like these were kind of rare for the man and. What the fuck is he even doing here.
He considers leaving for a second, until he hears Erwin move in the bed behind him, as if the gestur had been meticulously calculated to prey on his curiosity and make him stay. Levi closes the door and walks to the bed in angry stomps.
"Oi, Erwin", he starts, hands on his waist, ready to give one of his eloquent scoldings.
"Why hello, Levi", he says with an enigmatic smile. Levi can't tell if he is trying to be funny, but if he is, then so much for trying. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
Levi's glare grows tenfold as he feels his face heat up under Erwin's gaze. The commander looks relaxed, but there's still a nervous crease on his forehead that betrays him.
"Got a second?", Levi lets his hands drop at the side of his body and moves into Erwin's bed, sitting with his legs open, one dangling off the mattress like a wild swing. Erwin shifts his gaze from the ceiling above his head to Levi, who is shifting uncomfortably on the mattress because his foot that isn't touching the floor is getting him bent out of shape. He finally gives up, takes off his boots and throws both his legs on top of the bed. The tall man laughs a hearty laugh, but Levi refuses to look at him. He already knows what he is laughing about, there is no need to make it more evident.
"So", Erwin props himself up on one arm, turning to face him. "I'm waiting. Does this have to do with our most recent outing?"
"Everything we discuss has a bearing on our situation, I suppose. But no." Seeing as he gets no reaction from the commander, Levi corrects himself: "It's about the commander."
"Oh" Erwin gasps in genuine surprise. "What's the matter with him?"
"He's uh… he hasn't… he hasn't been eating a lot since we came back." Levi avoids Erwin's eyes, preferring to fiddle with a loose thread on the duvet cover. He feels his gaze following every move of his hand.
"Oh, I think he hasn't been feeling very hungry", Erwin plays along, letting out a small chuckle.
"He hasn't? Well, that's too bad, because being commander and all that, he's got to get some fuel in him" Levi scoffs, getting off the bed and putting on his boots. "I'm going to fix you something, dumb ass. Come."
Erwin is taken aback; he did not expect Levi to have it in him to care about his comrades like that - and not him, certainly. He knew there was a certain affection between them, yes, but there was no way he could be sure Erwin hadn't been eating much these days. Unless…
"Stop being stubborn. I asked the nurse. I know you've been twisting the bread between your fingers. Wasting food", Levi said, as if guessing his thoughts. He threw an impatient glare in Erwin's direction. "I'm waiting."
Erwin's mouth gapes like a fish out of water, repeatedly.
"I, hum, might need help? Where's the bread?", seeing that he get no reaction, Levi corrects: "No, shit, you need my help, asshole." He says with a firm glare.
"Oh, okay", Erwin smiles, genuinely amused at the aggressive way Levi choses to take care of him. He's tired. The ever-present insults feel like caresses to him.
"I know you haven't been doing good. Shit, I know I shouldn't be talking about this, but now it's too late to, hm", he pauses, the words choking on his throat. "You just haven't been yourself since that happened... The brats have noticed… Well, I'm not going to say what, because you know what it is." Erwin nods at him, so he keeps going, but he knows he's just babbling incoherently at this point.
"But you can't be like that anymore, Erwin. The luxury of having time to grieve… that's something none of us have. I know you won't truly rest until you die, but at least take a break. All that guilt will break your back."
Levi looks dejectedly at him. He knows that he's not the softest, but he tries his damn hardest when it comes to Erwin.
"I… huh…", Erwin blinks taken aback by the captain's frugal sentimentality. "I appreciate the concern, Levi. Thank you." He lowers his head, afraid that someone has seen him for the first time in so long.
"Let's get you something to eat", Levi almost eats the words as they come out of his mouth. This is the first time he's done any kind of courtship, and it is ridiculous but it is as it is and someone needs to do it anyway, because if they don't they might get stuck at the awkward friends-not-friends stage and he's scared of that, because maybe something good can come out of this and he doesn't want to lose his chance at a future that looks like a lighthouse in the middle of a thunderstorm.
Erwin smiles at him again. The bastard's probably having fun, Levi thinks to himself.
Levi doesn't usually smile, but he feels his mouth twitch against his will.
heyyy reader, don't leave just yet! would you be so kind to leave me a comment? i know times are tough, but it's little things like your comments that keep me going. thanks for taking the time to read.
shaka moon / schwarzesloch
november 2021