Yamada wasn't prepared for your eyes to meet when he agreed to go out with Nemuri. She had shown up to his apartment three hours earlier, dragging him from his bed.
"You need to get out of this damn slum you're in" Nemuri sighed, yanking the covers off of him. "It's been six months, Yamada, you can't just wallow forever. Go out and show her, and the world that you're doing just fine without her." he sat up at those words. His eyes were bloodshot and he wreaked of vodka. Nemuri wanted him to act like he was doing better since the break up. Go out and have the paparazzi snap photos of him smiling with his friends like what they had gotten of you last week. Show that all the work he was supposed to be putting into himself was paying off.
Your e/c eyes tearing away from his golden orbs. He felt his heart tighten as you quickly moved through the crowd. He felt Nemuris' hand on his arm. "shit Yama, we can go i didn't-" she started before her voice was cut off by the speaker introducing the next singer. "Ey ey ey time for our next singer to come on stage tonight, after a bit of a hiatus were happy to welcome back y/n l/n"
Yamada has never heard of you singing at the witching hour, but it wasn't a surprise. You had an amazing voice and had an array of offers constantly coming in for you to play at clubs all over the country.
He felt his body turn to jelly when you stepped onstage. "I'm going to be playing a new song, since a shocking face showed up here tonight" you said, adjusting your guitar in front of you. His mind didn't get the chance to process the words out of your mouth before you started to sing. Making his mind run wild.
I wanna start this out and say
I gotta get it off my chest
Got no anger, got no malice
Just a little bit of regret
You were nervous to meet heroes. As a support engineer you would normally just have papers handed to you for things to create. Heroes very rarely took the time to come down to the support floor of the agency and talk one on one, they were all too busy saving the city.
So when Present Mic stepped into your little workshop it was safe to say you were a bit shocked.
"Hey there Mr. Mic, what can I do for you?" you had asked while whipping your hands onto your overalls, smearing a bit of grease down the front. He chuckled "oh nothing, I just thought it would be important to meet all my colleagues" this caught you off guard. You weren't used to heroes caring about who made, or fixed the equipment.
He smiled warmly at you with a raised eyebrow. "So what's your name?" you felt your cheeks burning as you blinked back out of your thoughts. "y-y/n, i'm the head of the department '' you heard him chuckle, flashing a toothy grin, and taking your hand, planting a kiss on the back of it. ''a pleasure to meet you y/n" his eyes bore into your own. He didn't even seem to mind the grease that now stained his hand.
Know nobody else will tell you
So there's some things I gotta say
Gonna jot it down and then get it out
And then I'll be on my way
It was pouring down rain. You stood outside of the agency, cursing yourself for not checking the weather before coming in that morning. All your coworkers had left hours ago, but you stayed behind to work on paperwork for the support students wanting to come do internships with you. You considered calling your best friend. You knew that if she answered that she would come and get you, but it was also 2am. You look back into the building. Sleeping in the shop was an option. You had to be in at 9am anyways.
"y/n, what are you doing out here?" a voice called out, pulling you from your thoughts. You had been so caught up thinking about what to do, you hadn't even realized a car had pulled up about a foot in front of the building. You look closer and see Present Mic behind the steering wheel.
"I uh, forgot an umbrella" you called back. He gave you an amused look. "That doesn't answer what you're still doing outside of work at two in the morning" you shrugged at him "just had some stuff to finish" he bursted out laughing. "A workaholic I see" you roll your eyes at him and cross your arms. "What do you want sir?" his face shifts, and you can see some pink tinting his cheeks.
"You forgot your umbrella, let me give you a ride home" now you are the one with pink cheeks. You considered saying no. Consider going back inside and passing out in your favorite corner where you had shoved a few blankets and cheap pillows. However the aspect of sleeping in your bed sounded more appealing, and it's not like one of the best known pro heros in the country was secretly a serial killer.
You rush over jumping into his passenger seat. "I live super close, just turn on liberal, and then a right onto yoma, and it's the apartments off of abstion" he nods and slowly accelerates. "Did one of the hero's make you feel like you needed to stay over to finish their equipment?" the question caught you off guard. You had stayed late before to get orders done early, it's why you were considered one of the best in the field. Amazing equipment on lighting fast time. "No, I was going through the intern requests from the local schools" you answered honestly. You knew he was a teacher at UA, and maybe knew some of the students that had applied.
He gave you a look, something between shock and admiration. "Well maybe get some of the others to help you with it, you need to take care of yourself" his response made your cheeks heat again "when was the last time you ate?" his question caught you off guard. You thought on it for a moment "ummm, breakfast" the car slightly jerks at that "Y/N YOU CAN'T BE DOING THAT" his sudden loudness caused you to jump. He took an abrupt turn into a 24/7 drive through. "What would you like?" he was really catching you off guard a lot tonight.
You told him that a burger and fries would be fine. You tried to give him your card but he insisted on getting it. Soon you sat outside your apartment eatinging beside the pro hero. "Damn it's been a while since i've had a man wine and dine me" you joked, causing Mic to burst out laughing. You toss your trash into the bag. "Thank you for this" he gives you a smile "well maybe you can thank me by letting me actually take you out, on a real date" your eyes snap back to him.
Your body tenses, you look for any hints of humor, that he's just messing with you. He however just looks nervous as hell. "Yes'' he exhales "this weekend?" you agree, and run into your building with the biggest grin.
No, you're not half the man you think that you are
And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
Your first date with Yamada was enchanting. He had taken you to an off the wall family owned Ramen shop, where you talked for hours and even periodically kept the owners entertained. Afterwards he took you for ice cream and told you all about teaching and UA.
Your second date was a tour of the UA support facility, you could have bursted with excitement. Then All Might walked in, and you fangirl. Yamada thought it was humorous.
Things moved quickly, he started coming to the Agency to have lunch with you, always making sure you ate, and even started picking you up and either staying at your place, or his apartment at UA. you've even started spending time with his friends.
He started taking you out with him, he was so excited the first time he got you to sing infront of everyone at a show he played. It was a secret you had shared with him. You love writing music and singing.
After that he helped you post a couple songs online, and it didn't take long for the media to catch wind of the relationship between the small-time singer and pro hero.
Things changed quickly for you
Nemuri had you over for girls nights, along with some of the other staff and her friends. Nezu even seemed to enjoy your presence, asking for you to sub sometimes for the Support classes. The kids were amazing. It was the first time your life didn't revolve around work. You were honestly the happiest you think you had ever been.
That's why it came as such a shock the first time Yamada didn't show up to pick you up.
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you
Things had been rocky. You and Yamada had been having more bad days than good. Today was a bad day. He had shown up with flowers and taken you out to lunch, only for you to end up sick, and you both end up in a screaming match over you taking the rest of the day off.
He wasn't happy when he found out that you had also been sick that morning. Something you had informed him, would not have been a shock if he had actually come home the night before. His excuse was that he had patrolled with Shota. You knew he wasn't lying, and had crashed with his best friend after a long fight. It still hurts.
Seven months in and it feels like coming home feels like a chore to him.
You now sat on the bathroom floor staring at the stick in your hand. It wasn't on purpose, you two hadn't even had the kid talk yet. How would he react to finding out? He loved the students, so he'd love his own.
Right?
Oh, I feel so sorry
I feel so sad
I tried to help you
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin'
About who you are
You were backstage at a small venue getting ready for a show. You and Yamada had been doing better. You haven't found the courage to tell him about the baby yet. It still didn't feel like the right time. You wanted it to be something he was happy about, not something to cause him more stress.
You knew he was at the bar with Nemuri and some of her friends. They both came to cheer you on, knowing it was still hard for you sometimes to be on stage. You took a breath before exiting the room.
The last thing you expected to find was Yamada with a girl all over him around the corner.
I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down
And then ran so fuckin' far
That you would never ever touch me again
Won't see your alligator tears
'Cause, no, I've had enough of them
He made eye contact with you before you ran. You didn't care about the show, the people waiting, wondering why you were late, not even Nemuri who was so excited she couldn't stop texting you how proud she was.
You ran out of the side door, not stopping at the sound of your name. Your stomach was turning, hot tears ran down your cheeks, and sobs raked out of your throat.
You felt a hand around your arm pulling you back "Y/n" Yamada said, his breath heavy with whisky. You turned quickly, spitting at him.
In a flash his hand collided with your face, knocking you to the ground.
He crouched beside you. crying. Apologizing. Swearing it would never happen again.
Let me start this off by sayin'
I really meant well from the start
Take a broken man right in my hands
And then put back all his parts
Things didn't get better in the weeks after that. It felt like you two walked around each other on eggshells. He'd reach for you and you'd pull away. He'd try to hold you in bed, you'd ask him not to touch you. He'd tell you he loves you, and you'd look away.
He looked so defeated. Made so many promises. He'd stop drinking, get therapy, be more open instead of bottling it all up. You wanted things better for your relationship, but trust was so hard.
One night he took you out, back to the ramen shop from so many months ago. He got you flowers, you let him kiss you.
Then he dropped to one knee, asked you to be his everything forever. You said yes, but the smile didn't quite meet your eyes. He kissed you and slipped the ring on. You stared at it, chest hollow.
"Yamada" you looked into his eyes, his smile faltered. "Yes, my love?"
"Im pregnant"
But you're not half the man you think that you are
And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, girls and cars
You had never seen a man more excited about having a baby. You were barely out of your first trimester and Yamada was already wanting to look at homes, decorate the nursery, and buy clothes.
He swears it'll be a girl, that she'll be amazing and beautiful like her mom. It makes you smile. Makes you feel like things are getting better. He wants to be a family. Wants to love you two.
You wanted it too, but the hollow feeling wouldn't leave.
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you
Yamada wasn't home when you woke up in a pool of blood. He didn't come to the hospital until hours later. It took Nenuri calling him eighteen times before he answered. He wasn't there when the heartbeat wasn't found.
When they told you that you had to push.
You were too far along.
Nemuri held your hand the whole time. Not once leaving your side. Cut the umbilical cord. Held you while you sobbed over the tiny body.
Nemuri screamed at Yamada when he finally arrived. You don't know if he heard her though. All he could do was stare at you holding the small little bundle in your arms.
Oh, I feel so sorry (I feel so sorry)
I feel so sad (I feel so sad)
I tried to help you (I tried to help you)
It just made you mad
And I had no warnin' (I had no warnin')
About who you are ('bout who you)
Nemuri stood with you as the little coffin was lowered into the ground. Her arm around your shoulder. Yamada a good foot away. His eyes were lifeless and glazed over. Shota stood with him, his shoulders tense. You knew they had been fighting.
You just couldn't bring it in you to care anymore.
Just glad I made it out without breakin' down
Oh, I feel so sorry (I feel so sorry)
I feel so sad (I feel so sad)
I tried to help you (I tried to help you)
It just made you mad
.
You left the ring on the counter. Nemuri asked you to try for Yamada. That he was getting better. Got help. You had heard it from everyone, that he was turning things around for you.
You just coulndt brign yourself to care anymore.
And I had no warnin' (I had no)
About who you are ('bout who you)
'Bout who you are
You sat in a sterile white room. The doctors came in every now and then. They said it was postpartum depression. Said that you went through a lot and just needed the help.
You wish you could punch Hawks for saving you.
'Cause you're not half the man you think that you are
And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you
You were realised after a month. It took a while to understand that Yamada really was abusive. The stress he put you under, gaslighting. Manipulation. He was so perfect it hurt.
It didn't matter how good he was getting.
It didn't fix anything. You had come to terms with that.
You had lost your job at the agentcy, and were more than shocked to see the winged hero from a month ago standing outside waiting for you.
He offered you a job. Promised anyone you wanted would be banned from the agency.
You asked why.
He said why not.
I feel so sad
You should be sad
You should be
You should be sad
You should be
You should be
You should be
You looked out into the crowd to see Yamada crying. You know what the headlines have been saying. They found out about the cheating. About the drinking. That he was in therapy now. The girl came forward and told an exaggerated story about seeing him beat you. He had dropped in the public poll drastically. You wonder what your new song might do.
You never had the heart to lock him up for hitting you, never to go public. Not really.
Your eyes scanned again, and you smiled.
Keigo did work hard writing this song with you.