AN: I definitely shouldn't have started a new one lmao but this one had been halfway written for months and I just had the mojo to finish the chapter today, I don't know if it'll turn into anything but I hope you guys enjoy it.

Sam sighed and brushed the remaining tears off of her face, it was over. She and Jason had just broken up for good this time and she didn't expect to feel so relieved but she was. She spent so much of her life loving him that she let herself be blind to the fact that they didn't belong together. Almost losing Danny because of him solidified it, her kids lives would never be at risk because of her choices, never again.

"Ahem…" A throat cleared behind her. "Well that was quite a tear jerking heartbreaker, huh?" The voice chimed in sarcastically.

Sam jumped and screamed with her hands to her chest. "What the fuck?! Who… Drew?! How—what—when?" She gasped in shock.

"Relax, I'm still dead. Just thought I'd check in on ya, and never thought I'd see the day you got the guts to leave my dear old brother. It was amazing watching him act his way through that conversation. You know, for the record I would've stayed and fought."

Sam was too busy in her thoughts thinking she had really lost it and that this couldn't be happening when she heard the last bit of his statement. "And yet you didn't." She replied.

"What are you talking about? We've never dealt with this particular situation when we were together, not that I expect you to remember the years I spent loving you. You chose Jason and you got the life you knew would be handed to you when you took him back."

"I'm talking about when I begged you to stay with me! I chose YOU, Drew at the time I chose you. Not him, I ended up with him after YOU left ME and pushed me away every chance you got." She said pointedly.

"Did you really think I was going to stay after you told me you were in love with another man at the same time you were in love with me all while I only loved and wanted you? Really? Do you really believe that that was choosing me? What if I had done the same to you? Said I loved you and married you all while knowing my feelings for Kim were still there? Would you have stayed? No, so you didn't choose me and I pushed you away because I wasn't going to let you pull me back in while he was still in the picture."

Sam scoffed. "I wouldn't have liked it but you were my husband and I loved you and if I believed our love was stronger than your past, I would've looked stupid for it but I would've stayed. It's all a moot point now because you're dead and we can't turn back time to see how things would've played out if I had."

He hummed to himself before responding to her words. "I wasn't stupid enough to let myself even hope that our love was stronger than your last because you proved time and time again that it wasn't, especially as you conveniently forgot I existed after Switzerland and started trying to replace me in my child's life after you moved him back in."

"Our love meant more to me than you'll ever know and like I said we'd never know how things would've turned out if you had stayed. And that is NOT what happened! I have NEVER tried to replace you in Scout's life!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah yeah, you loved me so much that you haven't even once bothered to remember our love when I died. And you really haven't tried to replace me? Is that the hill you wanna die on Samantha? Really? Because I have yet to hear you mention my name to MY daughter since I died, hell you tell everyone that has ears that Jason is the only father she'll ever remember like I never fucking existed! You practically threw Jason into Danny and everyone else's faces when he died, and god forbid the child learned to love someone as a father and start calling them daddy. You would bring that picture out with a quickness. Yet Scout, my princess who very much does remember me whether you want her too or not can't even get you to so much as say my name when she asks about her father. I wonder why that is? Huh? Did I mean that little to you? Is it so easy to pretend I never existed, to pretend that I didn't make that beautiful little girl with you or breathe life into her lungs out on that freezing cold embankment after I helped you deliver her?" He asked solemnly.

"That's not… Drew, I—" She started in defense of herself but he wasn't trying to hear it.

"You don't what Sam? Did you know that she asks my mother about me, your mother about me every chance she gets? Yet she can't even ask her own mom. Our daughter should be able to come to you wondering who her father was and have you be eager to talk to her about me, let her know she was loved and that I am always with her. So why don't you do it? Why won't you?" He asked, genuinely wanting to know. "Why Sam?" He pushed.

"I DON'T TALK TO OUR DAUGHTER ABOUT YOU BECAUSE IT'S TOO HARD! IT'S TOO FUCKING HARD DREW! OKAY?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR?!" She yelled as she stood up to face him, her eyes welling up with tears at things she didn't want to face, emotions she was already too fragile to feel at the moment.

"NO! Because it's a fucking cop out Sam! I wanna know the real reason why it's apparently so hard for you to talk about us to our daughter. It's clear I didn't mean much to you but—"

"YOU MEANT EVERYTHING TO ME! EVERYTHING!" She screamed in frustration before taking a deep breath. "I swear you're just as stupid of a fucking ghost as you were a man. I loved you with everything that I was, you had my soul. My heart was yours, my body was yours, my mind was yours and only yours. And yes Drew, yes there was a part of my heart that still had Jason's name on it but it was your heart because it was in your hands and you never let it break until the day you walked out of that door, after taking off your wedding ring and putting it on that table." She said pointing in the direction of the table and the door for emphasis. "I know that I broke yours too, that wasn't my intention. My only intention that night was to be honest with my husband, the man I loved and it ended up in absolute soul crushing heartbreak. So excuse me for hitting rock bottom and for letting myself get caught up in simpler times with Jason and Spinelli. What did you expect? My heart was shattered and every time we saw each other you would put a little more distance between us and any hope I had of us being able to put the pieces back together shattered it even more. Then I was with Jason and I let myself fall back into old patterns, I became the woman I used to be, before you again and I was happy. Shattered and at rock bottom but happy in my land of denial and nostalgic love, your blows to my heart when you pushed me away became easier to take because I had a distraction. I had a place to escape too and then you just had to go and die." She sniffled and shook her head sadly. "You know I used to think that my life would go dark if I lost Jason but that's not what happened, and when you died there was nothing but darkness inside my world. I went through the motions, I played the dutiful girlfriend, I let myself get distracted, I tried to forget. But at night, surrounded in the darkness that you left me in I cried and when our daughter asked me why her daddy was gone and if he would ever come back I just couldn't take it anymore. That's why she asks Monica and Alexis about you, because she doesn't want me to feel the pain she had and why am I surprised? She got that from you." She said, a wistful smile crossing her face before the sadness took over again. "When I went to prison I had a lot of time to think and I knew that I was going to use the time I had whenever Jason got me out to make the most of my life, darkness or not, I had two little beings of light and a life to focus on and I couldn't wallow in the darkness anymore. But then my son was almost killed and I realized that while I may have to live in the darkness without you I won't do it with my son. Not because I chose to love his biological father while trying to delusionally live the life I shared with the one I considered to be his real father. And now you're here taunting me as if it isn't already hard enough."

"I didn't come here to taunt you Sam." He sighed. He really had no response to all of that but this he could respond to. "I came here because I felt your soul calling out to me, it has before but I chose to make myself known now. I mean I admit scaring you and being sarcastic about Jason was just my petty side coming out because it doesn't get to that often anymore, but still. I just wanted to be here for you when you needed me and I'm sorry. I just had to know the truth, I never understood why your soul would call out for me when you no longer loved me but I guess that's not the case, huh?" He smirked and then sighed. "I love you Sam, I always have and I always will. Forever and beyond, I meant that… although I didn't think the beyond part of it would happen so literally, so soon. But it's the truth and if you ever need me I'm here because our souls are intertwined for eternity, you'll never be without me and neither will our children. Why do you think Danny's still here? Jason has taken a lot of things from you directly, or indirectly, I wasn't about to let Danny be one of them." He told her honestly.

"What?" She asked in shock.

"I wasn't supposed to interfere but it's Danny so…" He trailed off. He technically wasn't supposed to tell her any of this but it was her, he wasn't going to keep her in the dark.

"Drew… what are you talking about?"

"I interfered. I had to make some things happen for Jason to take Danny to the Q's so they wouldn't be in that explosion because otherwise he would've kept playing that damn arcade game and he would've been just another body in the rubble and I wasn't going to let that happen to him, or to you or Scout."

"I don't, I don't understand."

"It's okay, it's not time for you to understand right now. Just know that I'm here, you and our kids will always be safe while we're watching over you." He said softly, wishing he could caress her cheek without it feeling like just a brush of the wind for her.

"We?"

"Me and Lila, your daughter Lila. I mean grandma Lila, grandpa Edward and my dad also check in from time to time as well but it's mainly me and the kid." He smiled warmly. "You have some guardian angels looking out for you and our little chipmunks."

"Seems so." She said with a tearful chuckle. "Wh—what is she like? Lila, I mean." She asked longingly. The little girl that never got to take her first breath and whose face Sam still wished she would've gotten to see at least once was always on her mind. Knowing she was up there with Drew and the rest of her family made her heart smile and ache all at once. She wanted to know everything she could about her oldest even if she'd never see it herself.

Drew smiled. "A little spitfire like her mother, as gentle as her little brothers and as bright as her baby sister. She's a mini you with curly raven locks, beautiful brown eyes, your smile and Sonny's dimples. She's amazing and she loves you and her siblings."

The tears she was trying to hold back fell at his description of her daughter and she wished more than anything that she could just see her little face and hold her in her arms just once. "She wants that too, you know." Drew spoke, shaking her out of her thoughts.

"What?" She asked, wiping the tears off of her face.

"Your daughter wants to meet you too…" He turned to look behind him into a place that Sam couldn't see. She didn't really understand what the hell was happening but if it meant having Drew here with her a little longer she was willing to go along with it all. "Come on sweetheart, it's okay. She's ready." She heard and it broke her out of her thoughts and when she saw what was happening she gasped, and the tears she had just wiped off of her face had started falling again in earnest.

"Mommy?" The beautiful little girl with her eyes said so softly and sweetly, taking her breath away.

"Li-Lila?" Sam hiccupped trying to suppress a sob. She looked at Drew wondering if this was really happening and he just nodded with a soft smile.

"Hi mama." The little girl said with an angelic smile and that was all it took to melt and break Sam's heart all at once.

"Hi sweetheart." She cried, smiling back tearfully at her not so little first baby girl.

"Can I hug you?" Lila asked softly, stepping closer.

Sam wanted nothing more than to feel her first born in her arms, but she was wondering if it was even possible because when Drew wiped her tears it felt like the caress of the wind, and nothing like what she remembered of the way his touch used to burn her skin. What she didn't know was that circumstances were different when it came to Drew and Lila's situations, but she'd find out soon enough. He just smiled encouragingly when she looked at him questionably.

"I would love nothing more, sweetheart." She answered her little girl and before she knew it, Lila's little body crashed into hers and her heart had never felt more full. A lifetime full of hugs, kisses, and mother daughter love flashed before Sam's eyes as she held her first born in her arms. Holding her crying newborn form on her chest, kissing her little forehead and watching her calm down at her voice cooing at her with words of love. Kissing the boo-boo on her toddlers skinned knee. Hugging her and trying to keep the tears at bay while she was being a brave big girl for her first day of school. Kissing her forehead after she blew out the candles on her 10th birthday. Wiping her tears after and wanting to punch a little boy that broke her 13 year old's heart because he didn't like her back. Being the recipient of a massive bear hug from her 16 year old as she gives her her first car, smiling sadly as she watched her baby girl drive off into the sunlight with a big smile on her face, she was all grown up now. And when the hug ended she saw her beautiful now 16 year old guardian angel of a daughter and she cried even more at how beautiful she was. She was so overwhelmed with emotions that she didn't know how to handle everything that was happening. "You are so beautiful." She whispered as she caressed her child's cheek.

"I get told pretty much everyday that I am my mother's mirror image, and she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Lila spoke honestly. Sam chuckled.

"I'm sure I look a mess but you are so sweet... I miss you so much." She finally said.

"I miss you too mama. I've wanted to meet you for so long just to tell you that I love you and to hug you."

"I love you too sweetheart, I love you so much. I'm so happy that I get to hold you in my arms after so long, it means so much to me."

"I know." Lila smiled. She looked back at Drew, feeling the presence of her grandparents and knew they were distracting him at the moment, she turned back to her mother. "I have to go soon mama, but I need you to know that everything will be okay again soon." She leaned in to whisper so that only her mother would hear her. "You won't live in the darkness forever, the light hasn't burned out." It was a little cryptic, but she didn't have time to really go into details or anything at the moment. She wasn't supposed to interfere but now that her mom was free, she needed a little push in the right direction, and she couldn't stand seeing her pseudo father live in limbo and knew if he wasn't found soon he would join their family way too soon, and as great as it's been having him around, he wasn't supposed to be with them yet. She wanted her family to be happy and they were going to be, if she could help it. She pulled back from her mom's arms and gently grabbed her face. "Don't forget what I said mama. I love you, so so much."

"I love you too." Sam smiled sadly.

"I'll see you again mama don't be sad, happiness will come again." Lila smiled softly before kissing her mother on the cheek and disappearing back into the light.

Sam broke down again at the site of her daughter leaving, she didn't think she could handle losing her again after just finally having her in her arms. It hurt so much. "Sam…" Drew spoke gently as his whisper of a touch caressed her tear streaked face, making the tears come so much faster because she knew what that tone meant.

"Don't leave me Drew, not again." She sobbed, I can't lose you again too. Her mind cried.

"Baby I have to go, I'm so sorry. I don't want to but I'm not leaving you Sam, I never left I swear, I'll never leave you. I'm right here, I'm right here." He said in a broken voice as he laid his head on her heart. "I love you." He said before he faded away.

"I love you." She whispered as a gentle breeze caressed her face, wiping her tears one last time.

"You won't live in the darkness forever, the light hasn't burned out… happiness will come again."