The curtains pull up and the spotlights centers on the guests.
Mettaton: Hello, good evening everyone, thanks for joining us here tonight! I'm your host Mettaton and welcome to the Sooner or Later You're Gonna be Mine Show Award! Get ready to MTTTT!
The cast all sits in a semi-circle upon the stage. Many fans are in the studio crowd and a large number of watchers are all tuned in at their residence.
Mettaton: Let's give a loud and big applause to our amazing, splendid and exquisite cast: here's Frisk Determ our lovely singer, Sans the lost drunkard, who knows, everyone's favorite magnificent cooker Papyrus, Wingdings the mad scientist, Tops the nice bunny advicer, Grilby just your normal bartender, Undyne the hardcore punk or poeter? Asgore our number one champ and my very good friend, Toriel the beautiful lunatic and Alphys… who is here for some reason.
The cast received a round of loud applauses and cheers from the big crowd. Some even took signs out. There were so many of them to read: « Frisk be my waifu », « Sans don't 4get me », « Undyne be my mermaid », « Wingdings come here plz », « Papyrus teach me how to cook lol », « Mettaton sucks ». Just to name a few.
Mettaton: Look at that enthousiasm, the crowd all love you! So fabulous. Now, its that time again and as always I'm your humble host Mettaton, thank you everyone, really your too kind. Your not tired of seeing my handsome face? Alright then, let's get started. A lot of people are watching us right now. I think it would be a lot of helpful if you guys would introduce yourself to the world.
Sans: The name's Sans, Sans the skeleton.
Frisk: I knew you were gonna say that, Sans.
Papyrus: THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS HERE, NYEH HEH HEH!
Wingdings: I can't believe I came here.
Tops: HA, Sans the lost drunkard, what a knee-slapper!
Grilby: I got better things to do.
Alphys: T-this is f-f-fun.
Toriel: Frisk, my sweet child, why don't you come back to us and-
Asgore: Toriel, no! Stop trying to persuade Frisk coming back to us!
Undyne: Alphys stop shaking so much or you're gonna make me shake!
Mettaton: We'll begin our awards, right after these important messages! Don't go anywhere!
Commercial Break
Did you ever get so nervous in front of your crush, that you accidentally grabbed her head and slammed her against the wall and accidentally did it again? Don't worry that happens sometimes.
A screen plays with a bottle of mustard.
You can't always be smooth, but your beer should be. With an especially light bottle to seal on the taste, Classic Mustard French is always smooth, even when you're not.
Mettaton: Welcome back to our Award Show! Our first award we have-
Audience member: Hey, I thought this was the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium?
Mettaton: Where did that idea came from?
Audience member: I'm sorry, everything's just so pink and looks the same. I'm kinda starved...
Mettaton: Oh! Don't you worry about the food, my dear one! Because the food is coming right to you! Carried by my clumsy assistant but very well mannered, of course. Say hello to Whisk!
Whisk: Hello.
Tops: WWHIIIIIIISSSKKKKK!
Mettaton: Yes, that's right if you want a hamburger just scream his name and he'll come to you! Whisk, why are you standing there? Go and distribute the food, already! The people are hungry!
Whisk: I… I, yes.
Mettaton: What was that! That was definitely inappropriate. Sometimes I really wonder what's going through your mind at times, Whisk.
Whisk: I thought om my god he's gonna kill me.
Mettaton: That's not true and even you know it, my little Whisk. Now get your ass down here! Congratulations for once Whisk, cause the first award we have here is The Go To That Extra Mile Award which goes for my worker Whisk! As you all now each business needs their employees to perform above and beyond of their capacities guaranteeing maximum productivity, whether the job is unbearable, unpleasant or underpaid! I don't give that away for free, but since he worked so hard and I'm a nice guy he totally deserved that as my laborer for life.
Whisk: Wow, thank you for the trophy. I'm gonna put it next to my other trophies of you.
Mettaton: Now for the next award-
Tops: Wait, please I have something to say. Whisk come back to me. I'm a mess without you, please come back! I know you don't like this, so why don't you leave this job behind so we can do our Pilates and listen to records of Judy Garland and make sweet love.
Audience members: Aaaaaww!
Frisk: Come on, Whisk, you two belong together! Even you know it!
Whisk: I…
Audience started to cheer and applaud for them agreeing to the pleas the bunny says. Soon everybody was encouraging for them, even some uncontrollably screaming!
Tops: Please come back to me, my Whisk!
Undyne: Don't listen to what others tell you! Listen to your heart, punk!
Alphys: Y-y-yes, she's r-r-right. If you d-d-don't do think c-c-carefully, you m-might r-r-regret this your entire l-life!
Whisk: Yeah... I also have something to say.
Tops: Yes, Whisk! Tell me everything you want to say!
Whisk: Commercial break.
Commercial break
Can you imagine listening to a speech? I can't.
But the people and Frisk can with the most highly-anticipated event in town! The speech of the GREAT Papyrus! Its gonna be hot as hell! 100 people and 1 monster all in direct sunlight for 3+ hours! You better watch out cause you might pass out!
It starts all with Papyrus who doesn't know how to work with that mic!
Papyrus: I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS..., PRESENT TO YOU ALL AS PROMISED… NEW, CLEAN AND… PLAYGROUND… WE … FOR YOU PEOPLE, BECAUSE WE … SUCH CHARITABLE… THAN HUMANS…! WE ALSO…!
Watch out for his saltiest speeches that's going to turn your smile in a horrified face!
Papyrus: BUT BECAUSE WE KNOW WE ARE SUCH AMAZING MONSTERS WE DON'T EVEN WANT TO SEE YOU EXPRESSING YOUR GRATITUDE IN FRONT OF US ON YOUR KNEES!
Had enough already? Of course you are! But its not yet finished, because the main event is just starting! Watch Papyrus make confused political statements that has everyone already packing their briefcasses!
Papyrus: SOON MONSTERS WILL LIVE HERE WITH YOU AND ALL PEOPLE WILL LEARN WHY WE'RE THE GREATEST!
And how about him telling everyone he is going to stop his speech but bails at the last minute!
Papyrus: I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING! YOU ARE FREE TO GO! BUT BEFORE I FORGET THERE ARE OTHER REPAIRS WE WOULD LIKE TO DO IN THIS TOWN!
Its sure is a day to remember, but the only thing everyone will remember is when the tall skeleton fell of the stage!
Papyrus: WE ASSURE YOU WE WILL DO OUR BEST, WE ALWAYS- AAAAHHHH!
When times like these happens and you just want to get out, say no more. Cause you can always count on Tops with his delicious nice cream, supporting you through difficult times and read his positive messages! And lets not forget Sans succulent hot dogs and funny puns he'll to y'all! Go buy their yummy food when bad times happens and you'll be as happy as Larry, it always works!
Mettaton: The next award we have is The Best Attendance Award! The required skill for this is punctuality, a very important one indeed. Punctuality is a vital ability which not every person has but rather can be sustained with driven ambition! The efficiency of an association likewise relies upon its punctuality which gives to the workers, not unlike Whisk. Consider granting this title to those representatives who are consistently punctual and complete their everyday obligations on schedule. Of course, this goes for our beloved angry flagpole, Papyrus!
Papyrus: THANK YOU FOR THIS AWARD! SOMEONE WHO SEES THE GREATNESS IN PAPYRUS! EVEN IF I'M NOT LISTED AS FIRST, I STILL AM VERY DELIGHTED TO RECEIVE IT!
Sans: You deserved it Papyrus, no one else can put fire as fast as ya did back then!
Frisk: No one else can wash my dishes better than you can!
Wingdings: And no else can make that spaghetti exceptional that you cook so much.
Sans: Too much.
Papyrus: THANK YOU EVERYONE, I'LL COOK EVEN MORE SPAGHETTI AND TURN MY SPEECHES EVEN GRANDER THAN EVER BEFORE! I'LL DO MY BEST FOR YOU ALL! THANK YOU! MTTTTT!
Commercial Break:
In the office of Wingdings working on his weapons during night, a phone rings…
Muffet: Mr. Gaster.
Wingdings: Ms. Muffet, what are you wearing?
Muffet: I'm down to my underrooze, you dirty birdy.
Wingdings: Please, tell me more.
Muffet: I'll be happy to tell you more, oh, but first I'll need your credit card so we can charge your 9,95 for the first minute and the 6,95 for each addition minute.
Wingdings: Wait, what?
Muffet: We accept all major credit card or cheques by phones.
Wingdings: DAMN YOU, YOUR NOTHING BUT A TEASE!
Wingdings crashes the phone into tiny bits and goes to the store to Grilby in a hasty way.
Wingdings: I need to use this.
Grilby: No phone sex.
Watch out for those dishonest schemes! They take advantages of people looking for partners or dating websites or apps by pretending to be prospective companions to them. These tricksters and frauds play on emotional triggers to get you to provide gifts, personal details but mostly and importantly that sweet, sweet money!
That's why you should go to Grilby's place! You can always use their phones! But be warned, cause it can rather become an expensive habit...
Mettaton: Welcome back everyone! Are you ready to know which award we have now? Well I sure can't wait! Because the next award we have here is The Forever With Us Award! As the name recommends, you can give this title on those couple of workers who show true loyalty towards their organization! Particularly those representatives who continue working for the same organization for more than a decade! This award goes to our precious iron pillar, Undyne!
Alphys: C-congratulations, Undyne! I'm so h-h-h-ha-ha-ha-happy for you!
Undyne: THANK YOUUUU! This is like my first award! LIKE EVER! MY FIRST AWARD! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IIIIITT!
Papyrus: CONGRATULATIONS, UNDYNE! WE'LL HAVE TO CELEBRATE THIS!
Undyne: YESSS! I WANT THE CAKE!
Papyrus: AND I WANT A RUBBER DUCKY! AND AS WE END I'LL DO THE SPEECH!
Undye: AND A CELEBRATION DANCE!
Papyrus: YES AND THEN ANOTHER SPEECH!
Alphys: I've n-never s-s-seen Undyne l-like this before…
Sans: And I never seen Papyrus like this.
Frisk: They're just like toddlers.
Papyrus: I GUESS YOU MUST HAVE A BETTER IDEA ON HOW WE SHOULD HANDLE THIS!
Undyne: I DO! THERE'S SOMEONE, SOMEONE ON TOP OF THE HILL!
Papyrus: YOU DON'T MEAN…
Undyne: YES, ITS SANTA CLAUS!
Papyrus: I SURE HOPE I'M NOT ON THE NAUGHTY LIST! LAST 10 YEARS I ASKED HIM FOR AN EASY BAKE OVEN, BUT ALL I RECEIVED WAS A SACK OF FLOWER AND A SPATULA!
Wingdings: That was the best idea you could think of?
Sans: I told ya, that was all I had.
Alphys: W-we'll definitively will do a c-c-celebration p-party after t-t-the awards!
Undyne and Papyrus: YEAHHH!
Mettaton: Just the imagine the possibilities! But before we jump in the commercials break. Has the audience a question?
Audience member: Yes! For Wingdings. What's it like being with your brothers?
Wingdings: I imagine its like being a parent, teaching them how to be a man. Thought my brothers where more of a bitch then I initially thought.
Mettaton: Has anyone a question for Grilby?
Audience member: ...
Commercial Break
Alphys sees Undyne drawing something and walks to her curiously.
Alphys: Hi, Undyne what are you drawing if I can know?
Undyne: Oh, this, this is a drawing of you.
Alphys: Can I see it?
Undyne: What? You want to see it now?
Alphys: I mean only if you want to, b-baka.
Undyne: Yeah cool, okay but only if you tell me the truth, swear to me you tell it to me, don't be afraid of saying it to me, okay? Promise?
Alphys: I promise.
Undyne: Okay, here.
Hands it nervously over to her.
Undyne: And, and what do you think of it?
Alphys: Its…
Undyne: OM MY GOSH.
Alphys: runs away crying
Undyne: Alphys!
Asgore just happens to pass them by and witnessed the tragic tragedy.
Asgore: What happened?
Undyne: I don't know, I showed her these drawings and, and she ran away! Are my drawing skills that bad, so bad that she had to run away? I knew my drawings sucked…
Asgore: You know that's not bad, you're use of color is really impressive.
Undyne: Really?
Asgore: I like this one the best! Look at those nipples!
Undyne: Actually that was a drawing of Alphys.
Asgore: … Ha, of course I knew that was a drawing of her, I'm just messing around.
Did you also once had a dream of becoming an artist, but once you looked at your drawing it made yourself cringe and hide it in a box for no one to see and praying no one will see, but then you thought why the heck why didn't I just throw it in the goddamn garbage? Do you want to become the next Bob Ross? Well, you don't have to worry anymore!
Cause there's this... legend going around for some time, don't get dazzled by the voice or the style it wears. Because of course its the amazing artist on Tapas who he names himself as Melikas can make jaws hit the floor! You sure can try to copy him, I sure did and damn did I really do a great job at sucking the drawing. Want imagination or try to copy something to improve your art? Watch his gorgeous art and be inspired! Watch out for that Sans, he's thicker than a snicker!
Mettaton: Welcome back to our Award Show! Our first award we have here is The Best Partner, it implies a set of values that many individuals may find appealing to find in someone, the kind of person you can never fall out of love, someone who keeps it interesting... No one else could fit that role better than anyone! That's right, its Tops! Congratulations!
Tops: Wow, thank you, I uh never really won any awards.
Frisk: That award definitely belongs to Tops. Tops really is the best partner anybody could ask for. He's very supportive, he's helpful and is very determined and he can slaps some steal together!
Tops: Please, stop it or you're gonna me blush.
Whisk: She's… not wrong.
Tops: Whisk…
Sans: grumbles angrily
Tops: What's the matter Sans?
Sans: Ooohh don't say that, ohohoh don't make me blush. Its like first off your ex left you long time ago, ain't nothin' I can do about it, ain't nothin' you can do about it and befoh you choose someone for a award, pick the real guy who deserves it, like me. If ya don't… I don't know what I would do, you know. I'd probably break it, can't let that go into bad hands. You know what I'm saying, not to this fuckin' rabbit.
Tops: I think you should be more worried that someone might steal her away from you.
Sans: She's not going to be gettin' other boys.
Tops: You say she's not going to get any other boys. She got you.
Sans: Yeah, cause I'm the best she ever got.
Tops: You know, with that attitude, that might not necessarily hold out to be true.
Frisk: You have no idea, that guy never heard of personal space.
Wingdings: Indeed.
Commercial Break:
Asgore arrives late at home with a greeting wife dressed in a beautiful dress, smiling devilish at him…
Asgore: Wow, you look so exceptionally lovely today! Oh! The food smells so good and you decorated the table too, it looks splendid! What are we celebrating?
Toriel: What do you mean?
Asgore: Well… There's nothing ordinary on this day.
Toriel: Tell me, what are we celebrating about?
Asgore: I don't know.
Toriel: You don't know. What day is it today?
Asgore: Monday.
Toriel: Monday what?
Asgore: A regular monday? I really don't know what you're trying to say, dear.
Toriel: What do we celebrate on this day.
Asgore thinks really hardcore and suddenly he knew what she meant, of course how could he forget that day! He turned with a wide smile plastered to her.
Asgore: Of course! The day we fired Wingdings from our place! Great idea, we have to celebrate that day!
Toriel: I see. Shall we eat then? I'll get your dish.
Don't forget Valentine's Day.
Buy chocolates for them or flowers or poetry. But if someone do forget important days, you can always surprise them with special flowers or chocolates, hehehe.
Mettaton: Welcome back everybody! The next title we have here is for employees who pitches out the most out of the most inventive ideas to tackle issues and problems. These workers behave like the think tank of the organization and furthermore merit appreciation for their capacities. Now the next award for The Brianiac goes to... Alphys!
Undyne: ALPHYS, HOORRAAYYY!
Alphys: W-w-wow, I c-can't believe I w-won something, I-I-I mean-
Mettaton: Wait did I read Alphys? Oops my bad, read that wrong, of course its Mr. Gaster that won the award.
Undyne: WAIT WHAT?
Mettaton: Yeah, I just wanted to joke, I mean it's obvious that Mr. Gaster would have won, I mean literally anybody could see that from a mile coming and it was no surprise! But if the award would have gone for the worst scientist it definitely would have gone for Alphys, no doubt, I mean its just that obvious, my dear!
Undyne: You do NOT get to call me, my dear, only Alphys can! And Alphys is the best scientist you could ever have, that anybody could ask for, you ghetto glamour too tight pants wearing punk!
Toriel: Oh my, they sure are some rumorous bunches, shouldn't you stop them?
Asgore: I'm sorry this is just too entertaining.
Mettaton: Umm, technically Alphys is a doctor, Wingdings is a scientist and you're a fish.
Undyne: Even so, even if she's a doctor there almost the same, doctors are even better, its statistically proven! Yes! That's right! And she would have beaten Wingdings, she's smarter and will win against him! She'll gladly take any challenge against Wingdings anytime!
Wingdings: raises eyebrow
Alphys: N-no, its f-f-fine!
Undyne: She's just holding back, I know her too well, she's just gives him mercy because she knows she'll crush him!
Mettaton: Is that so?
Undyne: Isn't it possible that we have a competitive test between these two to justify of what I'm saying?
Wingdings: No.
Undyne: What?
Alphys: P-please, Undyne you d-don't have to d-d-do this-
Undyne: Yes, Alphys because you should have won the award, you definitely would have won against Wingdings!
Alphys: Of c-course not, t-that's just insane!
Mettaton: What's the matter Alphys, giving up so fast now? If you give up now you won't be going with no award tonight. Oh, well its not so bad folks, cause we have another commercial break right now! From the producers of MTT, a comedy about three young gangsters trying to make it big in the city of Surface, while sharing a small one kitchen room apartment together. Of course! Its the wacky adventures of Sans, Papyrus and Wingdings!
Commercial break
A screen plays in the kitchen of the bones brothers.
Sans: I'm home.
Papyrus: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ALL NIGHT AND I EVEN PREPARED SPAGHETTI, SANS! ITS COLD NOW!
Sans: I was at the bar, just chattin' and shit with people, it was real fun. Ya know I was just havin' a good time.
Wingdings: Oh, you'll be havin' a good time.
Worn out by those annoying siblings who keep on putting themselves in inevitable problems? Tired of those out-of-control people, throwing embarrassing tantrums wherever they go at the drinking bars, on the playground, even in your own house? You've had it with it! But wait, there is a new and revolutionary solution! The electric collar band! With the press of button, you can make anyone your sla- anyone obey you! Its cheap, its for all ages and its legal now, no batteries included.
Mettaton: Welcome back my dear ones, before we can continue, its time for the audience question! Yes you there, man with collar band!
Man with collar band: Yeah, I have a question for Tops. What happened between you and Whisk?
Tops: Just some issues…
Man with collarband: Man, that must suck- Aw! Okay, sorry for cussing. But what did you guys do before these troubles happened?
Tops: Um, I don't feel comfortable discussing that information in this... setting.
Man with collarband: What if I put some sexy music on? We should add some sexy music on.
Mettaton: That was it for the questions! Back to the awards! Now this is a very easy award to guess, very, very easy. The next one is really easy. If you can't guess you are so dumb, you are really really dumb. But before we continue, we have some guests that come for this special, unusual noteworthy occurrence. Who might this be? Well let's give them a loud applause, my dears! They travelled a long way from home and are very excited to be here and support! Give a big shout out to Oxo, Noah and Mac! Om My Gosh, more humans! Okay, compose yourself Mettaton. This award only goes to The Most Determined Award! I don't think we need any explanation for this trophy! They put her down, they say she's' wrong! You tacky thing, you rebel on! Cause its our dear Frisk that won!
Sans: YEEAAHHHHHH! YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, OOOOHHH YEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!
Frisk: Thank you so much! Your blessings always outweighs the disappointments. Thank you!
Wingdins: Congratulations, my dear.
Papyrus: CONGRATULATIONS, FRISK!
The audience began to clap louder for her and shouting that it did indeed belong to her and no one else!
Sans: YYYEEEEEAAAHHHHHH, THAT'S RRIGHTTTTT! YOU BETTER APLAUSSE!
Frisk: Okay, you can calm down now, Sans.
Undyne: Its like Sans is more excited about the price than Frisk itself.
Alphys: Y-yeah, its c-c-cute…
Tops: Oh hell no, that is not cute. Its like a maniac shouting out loud!
Grilby: That's because he is.
Sans: WWWHOOOOOOOO, HHHEELLLAAA YEEAAHHHHH!
Wingdings: Calm down.
Sans: Congratulation, dollface.
Mettaton: Now for our new guests, how is it in the Montser realm?
Mac: Oh, yeah really great and pink, everywhere pink! I'm very happy for Frisk, she definitely earned it. I also heard that, uh, they're sniffing the good stuff, if you know what I mean. Is that really true?
Oxo: Is that really why you came here all the way, to ask un gros con question?
Mac: But of course I came here for Frisk, ya think I'm a dog?
Noah: Yes. And we're all three very happy for her and wishes her to continue with that strong-willed sense that she still has, for some God knows what reason where.
Oxo: Tu es un succès juvénile, Frisk.
Mettaton: That sure was an easy award to guess! Stay tuned, folks!
Commercial break
The group Noah, Mac and Oxo are travelling in a train to the mysterious city, that's called Fell City. While travelling there Oxo walks next to the seat of Noah, seductively…
Oxo: Je voudrais être seul avec toi.
(She asked if you'd like to join the club.)
Noah: Je voudrayy teyy nouiies.
(He said I like nuts.)
Oxo: goes away
Register today and get a free Oxo book! The Oxo book is the best way of learning new languages and the spiciest flirts is also in there! Viens le chercher!
Mettaton: Welcome back to our show! Now, my dear ones… I have a bad news and a good news for you all. The bad news is, that this is our last award… But the good news is, is we end with the BEST! This is literally the BEST! Nothing is BETTER than this ONE and youallagreetothisbecauseitsreallytrue. What is this last award, you say?! This award goes to and belongs to… The best champion in the history of champions! The non-Tiger Woods of marriage! The non-Casey Anthony of parenting! We're talking about non-Nixon levels of presidential behavior here! He is the storm that is approooaaaching, provoooooking, blacks clouds in isolatiooonn! He is reclaimer of his naaaaaame! Born in flames! He has been blessed! His family crest is the demon of death! Forsaaaakened, heee is awaakened! A phoeniiix, ash&dark, diviiiin-
Asgore: Are you really singing Vergil's theme Bury The Light?
Mettaton: Whoops, Its our one and only champ, the descending misery! Destiny chasing tiiiiiime!
Asgore: Goddamnit.
Mettaton: Disapearing into the night Asgore! Gongratulations Asgore! You won The We Are The Champion Award!
Asgore: Finally. Thank you.
Sans: Bullshit.
Asgore: What did you say?
Sans: Bullshit.
Asgore: Repeat that. I dare you.
Sans: I'm gonna cut you, sucka.
Toriel: Oh my! Someone's jelly. Send him to the jelly school.
Grilby: Better, send him to my basement.
Tops: Come on guys, let's end this silly game we've been playing for a long time. Its the past and the past doesn't matter.
Alphys: He's r-right. W-we've have to f-f-focus on what l-lies ahead.
Frisk: Yes, definitely. If you keep looking backwards, you wouldn't see yourself walking out of a cliff.
Udnyne: Yeah and if we end, we can all eat CAKES!
Papyrus: AND LISTEN TO SPEECHES!
Mettaton; Well this sure looks like a perfect time to end-
Sans: What do you call a goat with a beard?
Asgore: A goatee. I know this joke. Mettaton, end the show.
Sans: That pun was baaaaaaad.
Asgore: I'm not going to acknowledge you, as far as I'm concerned you don't exist, let's leave it at that.
Sans: We are the champion. Not you.
Asgore: That's not true.
Wingdings: Of course its true. We'd won from you.
Asgore: summons his trident
Audience member: OH NO!
Alphys: R-run everybody! I-its a shinagami!
Audience starts to run uncontrollably away. Undyne is protecting Alphys from the danger that's going to come. Papyrus and Toriel are arguing who is the best cooker out of the two. Frisk is trying to stop the outraged Sans from fighting. Grilby in the background is cheering for Asgore to win. And Tops is looking around him and grabs Whisk and runs away, so they could live happily ever after!
Mettaton: Looks like this is the end for our show- AAAAHH NOT MY HAAAIR! But as always, thank you for watching and don't forget to MTTTTT!