An intentional mistake

It finally happened. It only took seven fucking years, but it finally happened.

He was back in Danganronpa.

He jumped off from the toilet seat he was sitting on and dashed straight through the bathroom door. The door splintered upon impact, but it did nothing to slow down his mad dash towards Komaru's room. The door to her room met the same fate.

"Monaca! Monaca! Did you see the news!?"

There was dust swirling around him from the impact, but he could make out the shadows of two figures waving their hands around their faces. The dust settled to reveal Komaru, staring open-mouthed at the pieces of wood scattered about the floor, and Monaca, staring right at him with a frown on her face.

"M-My door!" Komaru cried out. "You destroyed it!"

He waved her off. "Eh, big deal. I'll get you a new one." He turned his attention to Monaca. "Anyway, did you see the latest Nintendo Direct?"

"Yes, I did Kurokuma," she answered. "I was just about to surprise Big Sis with the news until you barged into the room and ruined it."

"Oh… Sorry for ruining your moment there."

"What news?" Komaru asked.

They both glanced at her. He placed both of his hands to his mouth when Monaca was still staring at him. She smiled as she faced Komaru.

"We're all coming to the Nintendo Switch!" Monaca said.

"Huh?" Komaru looked at them both. "What do you mean we're all…"

Her eyes widened. "Wait, is Ultra Despair Girls coming to the Switch?!"

"Uh… No, it isn't."

"Oh." She looked down at the ground. "Well, that sucks."

"Yeah, I know, but that's not important. The important thing is that we're all coming back to a new Danganronpa game!"

"A new Danganronpa game?!" Komaru looked back up at Monaca, a wide smile on her face. "You mean—"

"It's not Ultra Despair Girls two."

"Oh." Komaru's smile dropped. "Is it Danganronpa four?"

"Not that either. It's called Danganronpa S, and it's basically an expanded version of the Ultimate Talent Development Plan in V three. It features everyone from Danganronpa one, two, V three, and Ultra Despair Girls."

"Well, I guess that's fine. At least we get to make another appearance in another Danganronpa game."

"And about time too!" he said. "How could they make a fourth Danganronpa game without including the best mastermind in the whole franchise?"

"You're absolutely right about that!" Monaca said. "Monaca should have been the mastermind in Danganronpa V three!"

"… Exactly." He took a smoke out of his cigar. One of these days he was going to show her who was the real mastermind of this house.

"Let's head into the living room," Komaru said. "We need to let everyone know that we're finally making an appearance in a mainline Danganronpa game!"

"A spin-off game you mean," Monaca said, "that's also non-canon."

"Close enough!"

They left Komaru's room, stepping over whatever was left of Komaru's door into the hallway of the house. The rest of the family was already inside the living room: Mister and Missus Naegi were sitting on a couch in front of him, while Shirokuma and that little shit Makoto were sitting on a couch to his right. They turned their attention to them when they emerged out from the hallway.

"Guess what just happened today, Mister and Missus Naegi!" he said. "I'm back in another Danganronpa game!"

"We heard!" Missus Naegi said. A big smile was on her and Mister Naegi's faces. "Makoto told us you were all going to make an appearance in Danganronpa S."

"We're very happy for you all!" Mister Naegi said. "Although, it is a bit disappointing that we're not making an appearance…"

"To be fair, you two really only served as plot devices in the franchise," Monaca said. "You two only appeared in a total of what, three scenes? And I'm pretty sure one of those scenes were you two hanging from a rope. Sorry for that by the way."

"Oh, it's fine," Missus Naegi said. "We're both very minor characters anyway, so it's to be expected that we won't be making an appearance in Danganronpa S."

"It's too early to give up mum," Makoto said. "The game only just got announced, so maybe you and dad might make an appearance after all."

"Makoto's right!" Komaru said. "Maybe the developers are busy creating your sprites, or making up first names for you two!"

"That would be a nice surprise, but we really wouldn't mind if we don't make an appearance."

"Well, maybe a little," Mister Naegi said, "but enough about us! You four must be really happy that you get to hang out with the other Ultimates."

"Oh, you have no idea!" Komaru said. "I can finally hang out with Toko without a bunch of Monokumas trying to murder me. Plus, I also get to interact with my idol Sayaka! It's like a dream come true!"

Komaru let out a cheer and pumped a fist. He should probably tell her that she was still going to have to fight Monokumas in a turn-based combat system, but fuck it.

"As for me, I might get an interaction with Big Sis Junko!" Monaca said. She had a big smile on her face. "We're going to have so much fun giving everyone sooo much despair!"

"Uh, Monaca, you can't actually do that," Makoto said. "It's a non-canon game, remember?"

Monaca stopped smiling. "Oh, right. I forgot that we have to play nice. So, no killing games then?"

"No."

"That's a shame. Oh well, I guess I'll just hang out with Big Sis Junko."

"And the rest of the cast in Ultra Despair Girls too right?"

"… Yeah, them too." There was no trace of enthusiasm left on her face. "Can I stay home?"

"Now, now, Monaca," Missus Naegi said, "you shouldn't waste an opportunity like this."

"Fiiiine. I'll go and hang out with all the idiots."

"That's the spirit!" Missus Naegi turned her attention to him. "Now, what are you planning to do Kurokuma?"

"It's really simple Missus Naegi." He leaned against a wall and placed a cigar to his mouth. "I'm gonna organise a big concert for my music, sign autographs for my fans—"

"What fans?" Monaca said.

"—Do a little sunbathing, hang out with myself, and annoy the shit out of Makoto."

He glanced at Makoto as he said that. Makoto was frowning; it pleased him.

"Sounds like you have everything all planned out." She turned to Shirokuma. "What about you Shirokuma?"

"Well, I was thinking of lending a hand to anyone in need of help," Shirokuma answered. "If no one needs it, then I'll probably try and talk to all the characters from the other games."

"Why bother with that shit Li'l Bro?" he asked. "Just hang out with me! We never even got the chance to talk in our own game, at least with our bodies intact."

"But wouldn't it be a waste if we just interacted with people from our game? I think it would be much more interesting for the fans if I talked to someone like Mikan rather than Haiji."

"I guess you got a point." He took out the cigar from his mouth momentarily to let out a puff of smoke. "Speaking of Haiji, do you think the developers are gonna reuse his sprites?"

"Depends on how lazy they want to be," Monaca answered.

"How are they gonna explain the cast then?"

"Easy, they don't. And if they do need a reason, they can always give me a call."

"Are we even sure he's going to be in the game? Is there some sorta list or somethin' that we can check? Makoto, look it up for us!"

"Can't you do it yourself?" Makoto asked.

"I could, but I can't be fucked at the moment. Come on, won't you do it for your Big Bro?"

Makoto sighed. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out his phone, and for the next few moments, everyone was silent as they waited for him to give an answer.

"Yeah, Haiji's in the game," Makoto said. "But…"

Makoto stared at him.

"What? Is there somethin' on my face?" he asked.

"You're not playable Kurokuma."

"… What did you say?"

"I said you're not playable." Makoto moved his eyes away from him. "I'm sorry."

… He laughed. "Shit, you almost got me there! Sometimes I can't tell when you're joking around."

"I'm not joking."

"… Give me that phone."

Makoto held up his phone to him as he dashed over. He grabbed it off his hands and looked at the screen.

"… What the actual shit!? Where the fuck is my name!?"

His cigar fell out of his mouth. Makoto immediately began to step on the small fire that sparked, but that wasn't important. He refreshed the page and scrolled through the entire list several times, but it didn't matter; his name was nowhere to be found.

"A-Are you okay?" Missus Naegi asked. "You're shaking quite a lot…"

"Yeah, I'm… fine." He leaned down and picked up his cigar. He placed it in his mouth, took a deep breath, and puffed out a cloud of smoke, his body loosening up. "I'm just gonna make a quick call."

He walked towards the hallway.

"Can I have my phone back?"

He entered and followed the route to Makoto's room. He closed the door once inside and made a call.

"Good morning!" a female voice answered. "Thank you for calling Spike Chunsoft support. How may I help you?"

"I have a big fuckin' complaint about Danganronpa S," he answered. "So I just checked out the list of playable characters, and I can't find my name anywhere. I think you guys made a big-ass mistake."

"I see. Can I have your name please?"

"Kurokuma."

"Please wait a moment."

Music started to play on the other end of the call. He wandered around Makoto's room in the meantime, occasionally eating Makoto's belongings until the female voice answered back.

"I've just gone and grabbed a copy of the list of characters planned to be playable in Danganronpa S. So far I can't find your name anywhere."

"How about Alter Ego Junko? Is that name on your list?"

"Let's see… Nope, that name is not on here as well."

"Are you absolutely sure those names aren't on the list?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"… Can I speak to Kazutaka Kodaka please?"

"I'm afraid Mister Kodaka is no longer—"

"I don't give a SHIT! Just put someone on the line that can fuckin' help me!"

"… Please wait a moment."

Music started to play from the phone. He suppressed the urge to crush the phone with his bare hands while he waited.

"Hello. This is the president and CEO of Spike Chunsoft speaking," a male voice said from the phone. "I have been told you have a problem with the roster for Danganronpa S?"

"You're goddamn right I have a fuckin' problem! How can you include everyone in Ultra Despair Girls except ME?! I was the fuckin' mastermind of Danganronpa two for fuck's sake!"

"Well, technically you're at least half of the mastermind."

"Who gives a shit about the details?! Also, who the fuck are these characters!? Shinobu Togami? Licorne? Santa Shikiba?! Where the hell did they come from?!"

"They are from the novels."

"N-Novels?! You added goddamn novel characters before me?! Who the fuck even reads novels?!"

The male voice sighed. "I understand that you are very upset with this, Mister Kurokuma."

"Yeah, no shit! What gave it away!?"

"On behalf of Spike Chunsoft, I apologise for this massive oversight. I will have the developers update the roster in the next few minutes."

"You better! If I don't see my name anywhere on that list I'm coming for your ass!"

He hung up. Adding fuckin' novel characters before him… what were they thinking? He wouldn't be surprised if they somehow managed to fuck up this simple task again. In fact, a part of him wanted that to happen just to get the chance to beat the shit out of someone.

He returned back to the living room, and upon arriving he noticed that there was one extra person among the family.

"If it isn't Miss Mute!" he said. He walked and sat down next to Makoto. "Are you the real deal, or am I talking to a tin can?"

"Hello, Kurokuma," Miaya said, or rather Usami said. Usami looked unamused at his joke.

"Hey, why the long face? I was only joking!" He chuckled. "Anyway, what's with the sudden visit?"

"I wanted to congratulate you all for making it into Danganronpa S. Although it seems that you were left out…"

"Oh, that? Don't worry about it. I had a talk with the CEO of Spike Chunsoft; my name will be on that list in a couple of minutes."

"I guess that's good news…" Makoto said. He didn't sound happy though. "It's a shame you're not included Miaya."

"It is…" Usami's head drooped. "It would have been nice to get some characterisation, since I was killed in my first appearance."

Everybody in the room turned their gaze to a smiling Monaca.

"Sorry!" Monaca said.

He checked Makoto's phone to see if there were any changes to the roster. At the top of the website was a message that wasn't there before.

We at Spike Chunsoft have realised that several major characters are missing from our list. We sincerely apologise for our massive oversight and have now updated our roster to include all major characters in Danganronpa.

Took those assholes long enough. The roster had increased in size, but luckily they separated everyone based on what media they appeared in. He scrolled down to the section for Ultra Despair Girls…

… And still couldn't find his name.

"Mum! Dad! You just got added into Danganronpa S!"

"Huh!? Are you sure Komaru?!"

"I am! Look!"

He could hear Komaru running to Missus Naegi. Seconds later the room was filled with shouts and cheers.

"It looks like you made it in as well, Miss Therapist."

"E-Even me!? I-I don't know what to say…"

"It looks like a whole bunch of people made it into Danganronpa S. Can I take a look at the list too Kurokuma? … Kurokuma?"

Makoto's hand entered into his vision and moved up and down. The room suddenly became quiet, and he could feel the gaze of everyone inside the room.

"A-Are you okay, Big Bro?" he heard Shirokuma asked.

"… My name's not on the list," he said.

"Huh?"

"I said my name's not on the fuckin' list." He once again suppressed the urge to crush the phone in his hands.

"M-Maybe they just made a mistake…" he heard Missus Naegi said. "Why don't you call them again?"

He entered Spike Chunsoft's number and held the phone near his head.

"Sorry, no one is available to take this call," a robotic voice said. "Please call again another time."

He called the same number again, only to be met with the same message.

"I don't think you can call them anytime soon," he heard Monaca said. "Monaca just checked their support page, and it said that everyone at Spike Chunsoft is on holiday."

"When will they be back?" he asked.

"They said it was an 'indefinite holiday.'"

He looked up at everyone. Five were looking at him with pity, one was trying to avoid his gaze, one seemed indifferent to his ordeal, and one had a smile on her face.

"If it helps, they might add you in on our twentieth anniversary…" Makoto said.

He stared at him.

"… Go fuck yourself Makoto." He got up from the couch. "I'm gonna go outside."

He walked out of the house and slammed the door shut behind him. He took another smoke, but the act did nothing to calm him down. He tossed the cigar away, sat himself down on the ground, and stared at the empty street before him.

Was this despair he was feeling? The dictionary described despair as "the complete loss and absence of hope," while hope was described as "a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen." From these definitions, it was only natural to conclude that he was indeed in despair.

But what if he was expecting Spike Chunsoft to screw things over? Could he really call this despair if a part of him expected to get fucked in the ass? Wouldn't that mean he was feeling hope?

… Why was he thinking so hard about this? Shirokuma was the one who dealt with logic. He should just focus on doing what he did best; fucking everything up for everyone!

He started to chuckle. That chuckle grew higher and higher in volume until he was busting his non-existent gut.

If they all thought they were going to enjoy a nice summer camp in Jabberwock Island, they were going to be proven very, very wrong…

But first, he had to make a call. He entered a phone number into Makoto's phone and waited to be picked up.

"Hello?" a male voice asked on the other end.

"Hey there!" he answered. "You got room for one more character in Smash?"

A/N: I'm not dead yet, and so is Danganronpa apparently. Hopefully, Danganronpa S gives the Ultra Despair Girls cast some interesting conversations, and maybe an actual sprite for Mukuro this time (although based on some screenshots, I'm not expecting this to happen).

But what I'm really hoping for is that I get to make a team composing of Junko, Monaca, Tsumugi, and Kurokuma. If I can't do that then the game automatically gets a zero out of ten.

This story will probably get another chapter once more information about Danganronpa S comes out, but in the meantime, I will try and update my other story.