You know I thought I was a pretty normal person. Sure being noble born had its advantages but overall I consider it to be pretty bland and uneventful. Of course when I then go on to participate in a disaster that ruins my house, barely surviving, running off to become an adventurer with nothing but the clothes on my back and a pulse pistol I realized maybe I was mistaken.
It doesn't help that my first quest, which was supposed to be a goblin hunt, became a constant fight for survival against a homicidal family of Death drakes. Who would have guessed the fuckers had entire family units that would hunt you down when one was killed? Not me, that's for sure.
Of course life couldn't get simpler for me after encountering the drake no it had to get worse in almost every way. I somehow killed each that came after me. Father, mother, and uncle all dead by my hand and with nothing but a pulse pistol and literal metric shit tons of luck. I was even able to get a few drake eggs and various drake parts with which to create equipment out of it.
For a bit I even thought I would be able to go on my way and complete the original quest I had come here for. The presence of abyssal cultists and Damtalion the Unbroken himself should have clued me in that things were in fact not going to go my way anytime soon. Which brings me back to the present.
The roar of yet another fucking death drake splits the air while I desperatly run for my life while dark magic splits the air above and behind me.
"Do not let him escape! I will not have solorne and its stupid ass chairmen in our country because you fuckers couldn't kill one old and decrepit Munster!"
See that's just plain rude. I'm only 47.
"You hear me munster! I'll rip the skin off your bones if you don't get back here and die like a man! Also someone get rid of that damn drake!"
No thanks, I happen to enjoy living and being drake food or a sacrifice to meet the dark kingdom's daily quota is not something that is conducive to that goal. Thankfully while I am to quote Damtalion old and decrepit growing up in a noble house hell bent on conquering and exploiting precursor ruins has left me quite fit.
Ducking under a tree as a wave of black fire scorched my previous position as well as the cultists who had been stupid enough to follow me I drew my pistol and fired a pin point accurate shot into the eye of the beast. Of course I didn't think I would actually make said shot so you can imagine my surprise when the beast roared in pain as blood dripped down its snout.
Someone somewhere is laughing at me I can feel it. Anyways once more dodging a bolt of magic I once more set to running in the opposite direction of all those nasty things that wished to take my head. Of course life has a way of screwing you over. Case and point, Damtalion himself teleporting in front of me causing me to bounce off mana shield with an audible oomph.
"Seems you're not as good at running as you had hoped, old man. I do apologize for this but no one can know what exactly we are doing out here so, unfortunately I am obligated to kill you." Based upon his tone of voice he didn't sound very sorry.
"Aww don't give me that look I know it's not exactly the best way to go out but at least it won't be to the jaws of an angry drake right?" I considered that for half a second before finally replying to the man.
"Aye son it would be but it's still death either way so I'm going to have to pass. If you don't mind, of course." Some kind of screaming can be heard in the distance.
"That's a shame because I do mind." The screaming is drawing closer.
"Then it seems as if we are at an impasse as I do not wish to die yet you wish for my decapitated head on a platter." The screaming draws ever closer and yet it seems as if damtalion cannot hear it.
"See you're wrong there my friend as it would only be an impasse if I was not able to kill you which I assure you I a-" He is cut off as the drake from before descends upon our position like a black thunderbolt. At the same time the source of the screaming comes running out of the surrounding forest in the form of a slightly incorporeal fire mage throwing bright scorching flames at anything and everything he sees.
As these things are happening I am of course trying my level hardest to escape from the insanity that has descended upon the clearing. My plans for escape are interrupted as Damtalion grabs the back of my coat and fires off a teleportation spell. Where we would have ended up if the drake did not douse us in its magically dense flames I know not.
What I do know is I found myself face down in some kind of girls changing room 30 years younger and staring up into a raven haired teens face. Now I won't claim to be the most gentlemanly of nobles as that honor goes to my second cousin Cornelius but I hope you can forgive me for saying that I didn't immediately get on my hands and knees in apology.
Not that I didn't want too of course but the knee in my groin was a very good source of encouragement to stay face down on the ground groaning.
This story was based off an original world I created for an RP. But one of the player characters was just so much fun I had to throw them into RWBY.