"Xena" I think the pain is too much. Blood is dripping down my thigh in crimson rivulets.
"Shhhh!" She spits out. I feel myself listing sideways off the horse, but the strong hand of an Amazon is on my back, holding me in place. Xena's head is on a constant swivel, watching the trees for Airla's traitors. That's what they are, traitors to the Amazon Nation.
"I'm getting tired of people trying to kill me." I can't seem to stop myself from talking. Maybe it's the blood loss. "I feel like it happens a little too much. Do I give off something? Like a smell?"
"Gabrielle." Xena hisses, turning on her heel to face me. Her face quickly turns from anger and frustration to concern. The horse reins fall from her hand as she hands Eve off to an Amazon standing nearby. It only takes two strides for Xena to be by my side. Her fingers flit across my face, my arms, my leg.
"Sorry." I whisper.
"Don't." Xena growls as her fingers hit pressure points on my thigh, lessening the searing pain.
"I tried Xena."
"We can't take this out here." She ignores me and sighs deep and long, fingers probing at the wound where the arrow pierces my skin. "You just need to hang on a little while longer, we need to get out of Amazon territory." Her fingers are back on my cheek as she searches my face.
"I'll be fine." I try to smile, but I feel I'm failing. I can see the pleading look in her eyes, the desperate desire to just fix everything, to make it ok. Xena turns to the Amazon warrior who is keeping me in the saddle.
"Ride her out of here. Get as far from the Amazon border as you can. Guard her with your life." Xena's eyes turn sharp. "Can I trust you?"
"She's my Queen, of course I will." There's a faint hint of disgust in her voice at being asked this question. The warrior swings up into the saddle behind me, one strong arm wrapping around my waist. How I wish it was Xena's strong body behind me.
"Be careful." I Look down at Xena, knowing I don't need to say this, knowing I always will. She stands there silently, communicating to me so much just by the look she is giving me. 'Don't give up on me.' It says. Xena hands the reins up to the warrior.
"Yaaa!" She slaps Argo on the rear and we go careening off into the trees.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
The sun is setting when we finally stop. I can't appreciate the beauty of the oranges, purples and yellows that melts across the sky. The only thing I'm about to appreciate is the dark brown earth quickly making its way towards my face.
"Ho!" The Amazon jumps off the Argo,
grabbing me before I become intimately acquainted with the solid ground. She eases me back against a tree, and I finally get a good look at her, despite my swimming vision.
"Nyx?" She nods at me, avoiding my eyes. "Where are the children?" I swallow hard, knowing she has two little girls.
"We pleaded for her to let them go." Nyx crouches, trying to start a fire. "Airla refused. She said they would learn the true Amazon way." A spark flares as she puts a few bits of kindling inside a rock circle. "I'm going to get more wood. We need the fire for your wound." The woman looks completely defeated. "Here." Walking over to me, she places a scabbard in my hand. "Yell if you need me."
I watch the defeated Amazon stalk into the darkness of the trees. These women who've stuck by me, have done so at a great loss. But they believe in me, in the Amazon way as it stands. They're going to need me to be strong for them, and I can only pray I don't buckle under that pressure. God's, how do I always end up in these messes?
Time passes in an infinite slowness that sets my head swimming. I don't notice when Nyx gets back, I don't notice that she is boiling water. I don't notice these things till she is crouching next to me.
"Queen Gabrielle, we need to take the arrow out now." Her face is pale, I can tell she doesn't really want to do this.
"We can wait." I'm trying to give her a way out.
"I don't think you can." She's trying to hide the worry in true warrior style.
" Well." I lick my dry and cracking lips. "I am unfortunately well acquainted with arrows." I try to give her a reassuring smile, but I think it only causes a fresh wave of anxiety to wash over her. "Nyx." I put my hands over her trembling ones. "I'll pull it out, you close it, ok?" As Nyx walks over to the fire, I break the top part of the arrow shaft. The movement sends pain coursing through my veins. It's about to get a whole lot more painful.
"Are you ready?" I ask as Nyx returns with her heated blade. She only nods. Rolling to my side, I take a deep breath. I'm not sure I can do this, but I have no choice. With both hands, I push down on the broken end of the arrow. The movement through my flesh feels like a million tiny blades slicing at my leg. The scream that comes from me is guttural, and the only thing keeping me from passing out. Before I give myself time to think, I grab the arrow end and yank it from my flesh. The hot flow of blood is instant.
"Now!" A brief hesitation before the pain overwhelms me, and mercifully I pass out.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Awareness comes quickly, and with burning pain. I'm sitting up, then falling over in one quick fluid movement. There's screaming, hurting my ears, making the pain worse, so much worse. I'm gasping for air, the pain so severe it's suffocating me. I pass out again, to nightmares of my death. Of being without Xena or Eve, just floating off into an abyss with a broken heart. And that pain is so much more than this. It's indescribable.
The sound of Eve crying brings me out of my heady dreams. My eyes don't want to open, not quite yet. I try to move, and that's when I realize I'm in Xena's arms, being rocked back and forth as if in desperation.
"Stop doing that to me." I look up into torture filled blue eyes. Her cheeks are streaked with tears. Xena looks like she's trying to hold it together, but she's failing miserably.
"I seem to be having a lot of bad luck lately." Xena half laughs half sobs as she pulls me against her.
"They're watching you." I whisper against her leather clad body.
"The things I do for you." Xena just holds me. I can feel the tension still tightly coiled under her skin.
"Help me sit up." She finally releases me, easing me all the way up. My thigh is wrapped in bandages that are crusted with blood.
"How many are there?" I ask as Xena hands me a water skin.
"20." I sputter, spitting water all over myself.
"That's it?" I look over to the women milling around their own campfire.
"About 10 were killed they think." Xena admits reluctantly.
"I didn't do my job. I'm supposed to protect them."
"Hey." When I don't look at her, Xena grabs my chin, turning my head to face her. "This is not your fault. You did everything right, you followed the Amazon rules. I didn't see this coming."
"Yes you did." Xena always knows.
"Not this soon." She smiles with such compassion.
"Well I guess we don't have to worry about all those rules anymore." I try to laugh, but it comes out strained. I don't realize how much I want to be joined with her until now.
"Gabrielle."
"So, am I gonna live?" I feel so drained. These last few weeks have been so hard, harder than they needed to be.
"You're lucky you didn't bleed out." Xena reaches out, palm flat against my cheek. "I don't know what I would have done." I close my eyes against the warmth of her touch.
"You would have lived Xena." I whisper.
"But what kind of life would it be?" We look at each h other, really look, for the first time since this morning. "I love you."
"I love you too." I pull her hand into mine.
"I don't care what happens after today." Her eyes search mine. "I want to be joined with you." Her voice turns into a low throaty whisper, heavy with emotion.
"Xena it's ok."
"No, it's not. I've lost you too many times, and if I can do one thing for you, I will do this." Grabbing Xena by her leathers, I pull her into a rough kiss. There's nothing delicate about what I feel for her. It's all raw and hot, and all consuming. So I let my lips devour hers, my tongue pushing into her mouth. I kiss her untill all the air has left my lungs.
"Sorry." My forehead falls against hers as my chest heaves.
"I'm not doing some weird Amazon blood ceremony though." I can't help it but I start laughing uncontrollably.
"I can't stand you." She gives me a smirk.
"Come on. Let me take care of that wound."