escapisms
"We can't keep doing this," he says, his breath uneven as he lies with her head on his chest.
"That's what you said the last time," she rolls off of him, gets off of the dusty couch and picks up her dress.
"I do recall you saying so as well,"
It felt more of a retort, a stab than it did a simple statement. They used to get along just fine, well, in fact. Now, they were only at peace when at war; with her hair tangled in his fingers, her nails raking across his back, and lips battling for dominance. Neji wants more, though. He has always wanted more…
There is little to say, little to do either.
She is fully dressed and he is still fully exposed as she heads for the door, unlocking it. However, she pauses when her fingers reach the handle.
"Do you believe that this will be the last time?"
He doesn't. Or perhaps he doesn't want it to be. It can't be.
"Do you?"
She leaves him then, but it is expected.
The first time he had laid eyes on her was because of his cousin, Lady Hinata Hyuga.
He isn't opposed by any means when she had asked him to accompany her to the opera house to watch her latest obsession, a young singer. She had been raving about this singer for the past couple of weeks, and has attended the same concert over five times as of now. And while Marquess Neji is, of course, intrigued by this singer and glad that Hinata can experience the first-time excitement of a new performance, he also hears that Prince Naruto II will be attending.
Neji does hold a strong dislike towards the foolish member of the royal family, though it is impossible to disregard his status that will surely benefit the Hyuga family.
And with Prince Naruto's growing interest in Lady Sakura Haruno, Hinata needs his influence and help more than ever.
They arrive at the opera house. It looks the same as ever, the same stage, overdressed and untasteful audience, the clone-like orchestra with their extravagant collars, and the heavy velvet curtains draped along the stage. as they draw back and the chatting fades at precisely the same speed as the curtain moves, he is met with the sight of the cast. In the middle, even more overly-dressed and dramatic as the attending audience though purposefully that way, was the lead singer.
"There she is," Hinata squeezes his arm, "Isn't she lovely?"
"She is rather fair-looking," he replied.
The prelude of the orchestra begins and her voice is waited upon, highly anticipated.
Silence comes, and as does her first note.
Neji takes a second to comprehend it, her singing, and his mouth hangs open, agape.
Her voice is absolutely stunning.
Her voice is like twinkling stars, like rippling water, and like rustling leaves.
Her voice is like a fluttering flute, like a crystal chandelier, and like a ballroom dance.
When Hinata had said that Tenten's voice was magnificent, she had not exaggerated at all. Rather, words could simply not fully describe the way her voice filled the entire theatre but also their souls with escapism.
She finishes when the hours had not seemed to pass and their hearts had not yet been satisfied with what she had delivered. And she did so rightfully, leaving all of the audience craving for more, with only praise for her.
Yet Neji could only wonder how compelling of a person could lie behind such a compelling voice.
Whatever those expectations were, they were once again, surpassed.
Much too greatly.
Lee's horse is two steps faster than his. Their speed stays the same, but he is ahead, nonetheless.
"I do not have many objections to your relationship with Tenten," he replies.
"Really?" Neji feels himself slip slightly, but regains his balance.
"No," a part of him sinks, feels terrible. "Well, at first, I truly had never seen her happier. She was always smiling for no reason. Now, she's sunken, her happy essence is gone."
"Perhaps it is for the best. I know that you have little to gain either."
The clicking of the horse's hooves are loud, but not as loud as their silence.
"You have a heavy choice to make, Neji. However, the risks may not be as severe as you may believe."
Lee races ahead of him into the morning sunlight as he slows down.
The singer has changed into a more flattering dress though her class is reflected through it. It is toned down, the fabric doesn't look nearly as expensive as anyone else's, and there is less intricate beading. However, she looks beautiful nonetheless and it is well-fitted and the colours suit her nicely.
He approaches her confidently and she smiles warmly.
She has beautiful brown eyes and full lips. Her skin is golden and her stance is strong.
"I do not believe we have met," he replies, lowering his voice. "Marquess Neji Hyuga"
"Tenten Long," she says, raising her gloved hand. He takes it, pressing his lips to the back. "Though I know of you, my Lord, from the many conversations I have had with Lady Hinata."
"All good things, I presume?"
Tenten tilts her head down, smiling. "Not all. I particularly recall her explaining to me how uptight and serious you were."
"And am I meeting such a description?"
"Not as much as I had envisioned."
He smiles, takes the compliment. "Do you dance?"
She shakes her head. "After concerts, I rarely have the energy to. I would much rather sit and converse while indulging in all the sweets this opera house has to offer."
Neji chuckles, her eyes light up. Her posture is refined and poised, the way his is. However, her face shows him all the interest and emotions he needs to read her. While on the occasion, she greets other guests and he leaves to check up on his cousin to make sure she hasn't fainted from flirting with Naruto, they always circle back to each other.
"Perhaps you should join my cousins and I for dinner," he says.
"I shall, but only after I receive the invitation."
"In the case, do expect a letter to show up at your door, Miss Long,"
He misses the slightest cringe on her face as she nods.
"I could never give you the perfect life you envision, Neji. It's too late for that. They will always judge you if you marry me. You will never be at peace."
"I will never have peace if it is not with you, Tenten."
She stands up abruptly, paces around her small dining table, her footsteps loud in his ears. "You will regret it!"
"This is the same argument, over and over. I will not regret it if I marry you. I don't care about someone's judgement, but do you?"
Tenten stopped, her eyes locked into his with painful intensity. "Oh, Neji. You are so oblivious to the world a woman lives in. For what am I, a woman, without the opinion of a man? Of course, I fear judgement, not of myself, but how you may react to it. I am surviving in a man's world, so it is their opinion I must value the most, not just the one I love."
"Do not fear my faith, Tenten,"
"I do, Neji. Because if you truly did not fear your uncle's opinion, you would have told him by now. Status is everything in this world and don't you forget it."
Her laugh feels to be even more majestic than her voice, ringing through the dining hall as his family welcomes her with question after question about her opera career. Her knowledge of music is extraordinary, her taste unique and approved upon by even his uncle. She brings a sense of youth to the table, one that the old instruments seem to lack.
Tenten is what they would describe as a perfect guest, entertaining, intelligent, and no doubt nice to look at with her doe eyes and red lips. He finds himself twisted into her effortless charm and comfortable nature. His stomach curls in her presence. But a perfect guest is not a perfect partner and he knows that she has nothing but personality to bring to their family, her name uncommon and worthless.
But he wants her.
He wants her so badly and when they leave he takes another exit so he can meet her before she goes, where no one can see them alone. She sees him and she grins, a different kind he likes to think is only reserved for him. Tenten's eyes soften and she greets him, understanding evident in her deep brown eyes. She can read him, see his admiration that he doesn't even bother to hide.
They barely bother with small talk as he kisses her, she is warm in his embrace and he likes it very much. There is no sense in it, she is just the opera girl and he is a Hyuga, but it feels right for the moment. He knows that it is reckless, that he has done her improperly by kissing her without any intention of marrying, but he doesn't think that he can do without it. Neji can't deny his quickly arising feelings for her and when she makes his stomach curl as if thousands of butterflies are trying to escape, she is the only breath of fresh air there is for him to breathe.
They are here again, her bare back covered in morning sunset in the cabin his late father had built himself, settled on the outskirts of their city. He cannot tear his eyes away from her, it feels so delicate, the way her hair messily scatters across the billow and her exposed neck is dotted with the faintest of red. She cannot afford to be marked by his lips, no matter how tempting it is to claim her as his, as possessive as it seems.
It's just that she never seems to be his, never seems to be someone he can love without a secret.
"Ask me for my hand," she whispers, her voice like a brush of spring wind.
He nearly scoffs at her comment, but he traces circles into her palm and begins. "Will you marry me, Tenten?"
She pauses, her chuckle vibrates through the stiff mattress. "No, ask me properly, not in the aftermath of...of this."
"What do you mean, properly?"
She clutches the sheets to her chest and rolls around, she gives into his eyes and she looks at him almost pitifully. She's so beautiful that he cannot form words.
"Hinata explained to me that your father forged your mother a ring, out of his own sweat and practice because the family heirloom was passed onto your uncle. He wanted to have your own heirloom, a symbol of your family," her voice lowers, she seems embarrassed, almost. "I know it's selfish to ask for that when I'm...but I will. Because I need to know that I'm important enough to you to take that risk. I want to be worth it."
The ring sits inside an envelope disguised as a letter, so valuable that he cannot put it in a safe where someone can break into it. He had worn it once, the sapphire sat on his finger and begged to be on a different one, on the finger of someone he loved. He has no doubt that he will never love someone like he does Tenten, but marrying her still seems like a distant fantasy. In the deepest corner of her soul, he knows he can do it, but something, an internal struggle prevents him from promising it to her.
"I will be patient," she whispers. "I do not blame nor feel bitterness towards you if you need time to think it through. But I will wait."
He arrives at her another one of her shows, dressed the way he always does but so much more conscious about it. The theatre seems so suffocatingly small, the people there seem twice as many. Every ticking minute before the curtains draw open are prolonged, he simply needs to see her face and hear her voice.
She is enchanting as always, her voice pierces through his soul like thousands of little needles, but the pain of empathy is welcomed nonetheless.
His breath catches all to many times, the nerves in his veins seem to disappear altogether. She is all he can think about, when he wakes up and when he falls asleep. She is in his dreams and in his fantasies, and she is there, on the stage, and he lets himself believe like everyone does, that she is singing to him.
And he meets her in at the afterparty, she is more stunning up close. It feels like deja vu, the buttery muscles and tongue-tied craze he's in. But she catches his gaze and it's like he's the only one in the room, she's the only one who matters.
He approaches her, she lets him, and doesn't make a move. But he converses with her and the words flow so easily, the way a river runs or rain pours. Tenten is something else, her humour light and airy, her teasing natural and unique.
It seems like seconds that pass by instead of minutes, even when every so often she has to entertain her other guests before coming back to him. He doesn't mind, for seconds of her time a worth it. Neji can be satisfied.
Each interruption does not seme memorable, she seems to have a way of talking that is reserved for him, but when a man who is just as tall as he is and dressed in a soldier's uniform bursts through the door and locks eyes with Tenten, he feels differently.
"My lovely lotus! I am so sorry I could not make it to your concert today! I promise you I will make it to your next one!"
There is a beam Tenten possesses that does not mirror any other and she leaves him without a second thought, then jumps into his arms. "You're back! So early! I thought you wouldn't be home in another month!"
"I sent you a letter but you know how the post is! But no matter! I am here now to see you, my beautiful Tenten!" his white smile is brighter than the crystal chandeliers and vanilla frosting on the wedding cakes.
"Why did they let you go so early?"
"Well, after talking about you for so long, they just had to let me see my amazing wife."
Neji's blood runs cold, hsi hands shake slightly, and she glances him from the corner of his eyes, betrayal likely as obvious as a knife at a crime scene. But he swallows it back, he should have known better that a woman like Tenten was already married, should have asked before she kissed her, shouldn't have taken her friendliness with interest. He leaves immediately, humiliation thick in his stomach.
She wears a silver band around her finger. It's simple but he can tell it's well made. A round pearl sits in the middle, the sides are engraved with soft curves, a representation of who she belongs to. It's usually hidden by gloves but as she sits in her bed, reading a novel with a glass of wine in her fingers, he's reminded that her marriage is more exposed when he's around, a painful irony.
Neji takes the wine glass and the book from her hands, sets it on the nightstand beside him. The curtains are drawn, Lee is gone from her house. She smiles, leans in to kiss him. He lets her. When her hands trails down his chest, reaching for the buttons of his shirt, he pulls away.
"I love you," he whispers, his hand around her chin. "More than anything."
She pulls away further, she groans. "God, Neji, will you stop saying that?"
He swallows, "Why?"
"You cannot get my hopes up like this. It is not fair to me."
Neji stands from the bed, he walks towards the jacket on the door and he grabs the velvet ring box without hesitation. He presents it to her, here eyes wide like deer. He can tell that she can't breathe, but she refuses to look at the box any longer.
It doesn't matter to him anyway. He takes her hands and he places the box in them, waits patiently for her to open it.
Tenten takes a moment before snapping the lid up. The ring is made of gold, fine detail work gone into it. Small pearls surround an oval sapphire which glints in the small box. Her hands are trembling. She looks up at him, finally, tears are in her eyes.
He nods his approval and she slips off her old one in exchange for his. It suits her perfectly, catchers her beauty and reflects it to be even more stunning. She is the only one who he will ever allow to wear this ring.
"I cannot promise you that we will ever get married, or see a peaceful life," he says to her, he is on one knee. This is the only proposal he will give and it is all he has to give. "But I promise you that you will always be the love of my life. I will be devoted to you, I will be faithful. There will never be anyone else. We might not ever be lovers on paper but we always be in our souls are Tenten, I'm asking you to let that be enough,"
He can see in her eyes, the ones that shine like moonlight, that it is
"Neji, wait up!"
"Tenten you're married! You're fucking married and you expect me to wait for you? Are you out of your fucking mind?"
"Why are you yelling at me?" she says, her voice soft, gentle. He is reminded about his own power as she quivers, she looks small. Neji understands that there is no way to yell and be respectful about it, it is rude, obnoxious, and can be always faced in a better way. He understands that his social status will always be higher than hers in the sole fact that he is a man and she is not. She has every reason to fear him and he is ashamed that he gives her one to.
"I'm sorry," he says, but pain still sits heavily with him.
The day is bright but the air is lonely. The park bathes in sunshine but is darkened by their shadows. Her heavy skirt is lifted, her ankles do not show. She should be the sorry one, not him.
Tenten takes a deep sigh and drops her dress, brushing it down before looking up at him. "I ask that you forgive me for withholding such information."
"The fault is mine that I had assumed that you were not yet married," he replies. "Though it would have been nice to not have felt encouraged when I kissed you."
She blushes, her stance seems more shy now. "I enjoyed it,"
A part of him sinks, a part of him floats. He knows that with every moment, he is winding himself deeper in a sickly situation. "Please, Tenten. Do not encourage me. It was wrong of me to do so in the beginning but I can not let myself pull you into a scandal."
"I do not love my husband," she says abruptly, and he doesn't see much surprise to her statement. Few maidens ever marry for love, fewer wives ever grow to love their husbands.
"You are married nonetheless."
Tenten walks closer to him. "No, let me explain. I love him like a brother but did not marry him for romantic love. He and I share everything about each other, we know each other well. You do not have to worry about him knowing for he will never let it slip if we—"
"It is not about whether or not he knows, it is about honour, Miss—Mrs Long."
She pauses. "Lee. Mrs. Lee. Long is my maiden name as well as my stage name."
The correction renders him even more frustrated.
"Look, Neji, maybe we can—"
"There is no maybe! We can't be together when you're—"
"Please do not place the blame onto me," she says. "I have spoken with Hinata before. She tells me about the rules your family holds over you and I understand that even if I had not been married I would not be up to the standards you hold, especially with your prestigious education and looks. I ask that you do not use my marital status as your excuse to leave when clearly other factors play into my unattractiveness. Just admit that I am a common girl and that will be enough for me."
Neji is shocked by her words, but he cannot control his own. "Good god, Tenten, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met and so far from common."
The day is bright and they are alone. The park bathes in sunshine but they hide in the shadows. Her heavy skirt is lifted, her ankles are shown. They should be sorry, but they aren't.
Hinata's skin seems to glow more than usual, her hair and skin shining with happiness. She holds her hands behind her back as they join for tea, her lips in a permanent smile.
Neji watches as she strides with unusual confidence and sits across from him. Seeing her happy makes him smile as well, his chest is lighter.
"May I ask what the occasion is that you would invite me for such a lovely round of tea? And also the matter that has you beaming as so?"
Hinata smiles even more. "Brother Neji, I have wonderful news to bear!"
"Do not keep me waiting, Hinata,"
"Prince Naruto and I are engaged!" she says, breath airy.
Neji's mouth pops open before he closes it. He cannot stop smiling, takes off her satin glove and sees the most extraordinary ring, elegant and well made and suited to her. It is clearly an heirloom, one much older than his.
"I cannot express enough congratulations, Hinata. I had not known that the two of you were so close already."
She shrugs softly. "I did not expect it so soon either, but I am more than ready to marry him."
"And I am more than ready to attend your wedding, after two years of your confessions regarding him,"
Hinata blushes red. "I wanted you to hear it from me before the entire country does,"
"I would be ecstatic regardless of whether it was from you or even uncle,"
She raises her eyebrows, chuckling. It's quite the statement, for him to be ecstatic around Hiashi Hyuga. "Well, I am also more than ready to attend your wedding with Tenten."
"If it ever happens," he sighs,
"It will, Neji. And if it doesn't, I will do everything in my power to make sure you have your happy ending. After all, you have spent so much time preparing mine."
He smiles, but he is unconvinced.
"Would you leave him for me?"
"I would leave anyone for you," she replies; she does not hesitate.
"Then leave him."
They are in her bed, the one she shares with the husband never home, the one who acts as a friend not a lover, the one who they sleep with pillows between them to avoid kicking instead of legs tangling in a heated mess.
This should be him. He should be here all the time, not just stolen nights and days and sneaking in and out of her home. He wants to be with her permanently, on paper and on vows.
Tenten sits up. "What?"
"You said you would leave him for me. Leave him. We'll get married." he whispers, his fingers crawl up her waist but she pushes them away. He is startled at her response.
"Wait, Neji. When I said I would leave him, I more or less meant with the choice to."
He frowns. "Of course you have a choice."
She shakes her head vigorously "No, no, Neji, I mean I can't divorce Lee. Women can only divorce men on two grounds and I don't have one, nor will I ever give him one. And if he were to divorce me, do you know how badly society would hate me? Hate you, the marquess if you married me after? Or even Lee! I can't let him go through that when he's in the military! And my career! Do you think anyone would ever come to the concerts of a divorced woman?"
"Tenten, if we're married we can live far away from society. You won't need to sing."
"But Neji, I want to," she says, her voice pleading. "Singing, being on stage, watching everyone clap for me is what brings me life. I don't want to give that up."
And she shouldn't have to. Neji knows that the decision is difficult. For love or for acceptance. It burns him, scalds him. He bids his farewell. While Lee may not be the right husband for her, he is certain that he is a good one, one that will treat her well when married. He leaves her then and doesn't plan on coming back. It will be easier that way.
"I can leave the country, fake my death,"
The tea feels cold in his hands suddenly. "Sorry?"
Lee smiles, as if their conversation very well is small talk over tea. "Widows have an easy time remarrying, if we fake my death you will not be facing a problem."
"Neither of us would let you do that,"
"It is not a bad idea, you know," he says, he stirs the cup, takes a sip. "I am a soldier, after all. The possibilities are endless. I hear that Suna is in need of bodyguards and I am well acquainted with the King and his generals. They would not give my position away."
Neji sets his cup down. "You will not leave us on the initiative that it would actually help us. Tenten cannot live without you, Lee. And I… I sure do not want to."
He looks down, his long lashes flutter. "I love Tenten, more than anyone else in the world. And it may not be romantic love, but it is powerful enough to take down an army. I want her to have everything she wants, even at my own expense."
"But she wants the both of us so just drop the thought."
They sit in silence. Ideas do not come to his head.
"What if all three of us ran away?" Lee suggests.
The thought is tempting, all of them in a small town, gardening, living amongst villagers, the only worry is to put food on the table rather than whatever mess they are in now. Neji wants that, he wants it badly. But he also loves Konoha and the people in it and he could never let himself do that either.
"I have too many duties," he replies. He doesn't look pity but Lee listens to him with deeply appreciated empathy.
A spark lights in his dark eyes. "Well, don't you think that your reputation and status maybe could benefit you? There has to be something you can do…"
He had never been fond of his uncle, nor was anyone to be honest. His father was the second child, and as always, second children were always treated like scum, paid little to no attention but still with the same amount of pressure. No one batted an eye when his father was tormented, no one ever would.
His cousins even hated their father, who had abused them much worse than he abused his twin brother. It was quite sad, really, for even though Hiashi Hyuga was the older brother, even my ten minutes, he could not bore any sons, while Hizashi's only child happened to be one. Neji would secure himself as the next Duke of Konoha if Hinata didn't have sons before Hizashi's death. And with her inability to flirt or secure herself a worthy suitor did not help matters.
But a tragic truth was that Neji would have to suck up to his uncle if he ever wanted a chance to keep his title. It was a commonly known fact that the one person who ever did stand up against Hiashi Hyuga was his father, Hizashi Hyuga, died in very mysterious circumstances. It would not be a stretch to assume that such circumstances involved his brother and Neji wanted to live, thank you very much.
So when he is called to his uncle's office, he has to suck up all of his pride again and pretend like he did not hold years worth of resentment.
"Neji, my dear boy," he says, though it is obvious that they never shared much of a connection to begin with. "I would like to thank you in person for assisting my daughter's search for a worthy suitor. I have heard that she may have caught the attention of the prince himself, which has well exceeded my expectations."
"Hinata is very kind, her soft and elegant grace is to thank, not me"
"No, no, I must thank you, Neji. She is clueless. It is only because of her decolletage that she would ever be able to find a husband higher than a baron. After all, I heard that Prince Naruto was looking into Lady Sakura, who is much more outspoken and beautiful than my daughter is…"
He finds bile rising to his throat, Neji cannot not believe that his uncle would speak of his own daughter in such a way.
"Anyways, despite your best efforts, it is hard for me to imagine that my daughter will, ultimately, marry the prince. For her to marry a viscount would be well past my expectations. And since I am much older and wiser than you are, I believe it in my daughter's best interest to step into her search. Utilizing my experience to help her." he replies.
"Your Grace, I do not believe I am following."
"Neji, I believe it is time for me to retire my title to you. You have shown to be much more promising than any of my daughters have shown to be. Already, Hanabi is fourteen and she, too, has not secured a suitor that will not bring harm to our family. You are like a son to me, and after my brother's death, I know he would want you to be a duke as well."
A glimpse of power blinds him, pretty words would not have meant anything without the promise of action and Neji forgets his resentment for a moment. He feels like this is right for him, to be Neji Hyuga, Duke of Konoha rather than the marquess who lost the title to the infant child of his cousin. His father would have been a wonderful duke who cared deeply for the people instead of money. The hope of continuing his hoped legacy is beyond tempting.
"I cannot thank you enough, Your Grace,"
"Do not call me that, Neji, as that title will soon be yours. I believe that there are quite a few items of paperwork that I have to do. It may be months, maybe years before we can transfer my title to you. But no matter, for I am sure you will make the struggle worth it."
"Of course, Your—, I mean uncle."
"As for now, there is nothing I need you for. Do make some good connections with the people, especially those who may bring us fortune. And do be more careful of your reputation, it is more important now than ever to maintain it."
He nods his head but a fear settles inside of him, slowly gnawing at him from the inside out.
The early morning daylight spills into the stained windows of the chapel and the hall is empty aside from the paintings and statues, staring at them with unsettling kind eyes. Lee walks forwards confidently and with a sense of direction. He does not take a seat but approaches the cross, where footsteps meet him.
A man with nearly identical features appears, and Neji is horrified. One Lee was enough, another, however? The only difference seems to be the square jaw and the priest's robes adorning his body.
Lee yells in exclamation in sight of the other Lee despite it being a chapel.
"GAI!"
'"LEE!"
"GAI!"
"LEE!"
Confused out of his mind to say the least and wondering how God would feel with a soldier and a priest causing a commotion in a place of worship, Neji sits in one of the front chairs, an action he does very little. Neji does not believe in God when so much injustice has been brought to his father, who had gone to church every day before his death. He knows that not all is supposed to be fair but no matter how hard he tries to find peace in knowing someone out there is watching him, he cannot seem to find it in himself.
Gai and Lee exchange conversation about youth and Tenten and they ramble on about the same things for a good ten minutes before they finally recognize his existence and introduce him.
"Neji, this is Father Gai. He has led me through many hard times during the harsher of my army days. He has shown me guidance beyond anything I possibly imagined!"
He cringes even though he tries to suppress it. He bows slightly in greeting. "With all due respect, Lee, Father Gai, I am not looking for guidance."
Lee is still beaming as bright as ever. "I know, Neji. Father Gai does not believe in forcing all to believe in God's presence, as it is your choice to follow such a path. I have brought you here for a different reason: to receive counsel about our complex marital affairs."
A flash of fear strikes in his body. "Lee, you told him about our situation?"
Gai smiles gently, he is immediately at ease by the simple action. "Do not worry, Neji. Tenten has talked about you since the two of you have met, and she does not believe in the Holy Spirit, as you must already know. I would like to believe that I am different from other priests, and far more accepting."
Relief settles in him. "You have a solution as to how to allow Tenten and I to get married without scandal?"
"To get married, yes," he replies. "As a priest, I do have the ability to marry and divorce anyone in the eyes of god and do have more power over the court. I believe that the divorce is relatively simple, for Lee will begin his training as a priest following suit."
Neji turns his head in shock, Lee smiles brightly, flashing him a thumbs up. He turns back towards Gai. "And the marriage?"
"Such an affair is more complicated for Tenten. It is absolutely unheard of for a woman to remarry after a divorce. I can marry you easily but will receive criticism, not only for me, but for you. In the end, while none of it is her fault, Lee is technically requesting the divorce anyway, even on pure grounds. Additionally, your position makes you quite vulnerable to gossip, though that brings on my question for you, Neji, do you believe that as a marquess you have enough power that the people will fear you if they raise suspicions?"
He pauses for a moment. "My uncle is retiring soon, focusing on finding my cousins a suitor. I expect that I will be Duke in a very short amount of time."
"That does seem to make matters a lot simpler than I would expect, not to mention that your Uncle would not have status over you either. Upon your transition, we will finalize both the divorce and the marriage. Until then, I wish you all the best of luck."
Neji smiles in appreciation. "Thank you, Father Gai,"
"It is my absolute pleasure, my boy,"
"I will leave him,"
"I'm becoming the Duke,"
No more words need to be spoken. She understands his predicament with just one look. Tears well up to her eyes, she stills, she tries to keep them at bay. He steps forwards, embraces her, and she yields, sobs into his arms.
She clutches him tightly, but she holds back. He knows that she has to.
"Hinata's pregnant."
Neji nearly drops his teacup, but has to set it down nonetheless. He goes through those two words, goes through other things that his uncle could have said in place of it but none of them would make sense.
"Excuse me?"
"Hinata is pregnant. So it seems that Prince Naruto and her have engaged in extramarital intercourse," he replies.
Neji stands up abruptly. "Is she ok? Why are you telling me? Have the articles come? Should we keep out the maids so they do not spread rumours?"
Hiashi sighs, motions for him to sit down. "We will not proceed with any courses of action. The prince has admitted to deflowering her and it is admittedly extremely lucky, as he is bound to marry her now, and the dowry is significantly cheaper as well."
He is horrified at his uncle's stance, when his own daughter is treated like property rather than a human. He wishes more than anything that he could be there for her, when she is possibly scared out of her mind. Their mothers died years ago, there is no female figure with experience who can guide her into her pregnancy.
Neji is about to leave when he is stopped. "Regardless, the reason I called you here is to tell you that the ring swung in a circle. Hinata is having a son, therefore I will no longer be retiring my position to you."
He freezes. He replays the sentence in his head over and over again, then what it means for him. It means that Tenten and him cannot get married. It means that his happy ending is over, that the easiest way for their fairytale is to run away together. That a child will be duke before he is married, that he was wronged in this horrifying family once again.
Neji leaves, barely ready to break Tenten's heart again.
He's drunk out of his mind. It feels horrible, the alcohol sits in his chest and makes him want to throw up. All he knows is Tenten, he is sober enough to think about her, he will always be sober enough to think about her. He so easily stumbles to her house, slips into the weaving alleys where no one will recognise him and jumps over the fence of her garden, the dog is familiar with him so much that she doesn't bark.
He walks in her back door and trudges up her stairs to her bedroom. He knows she doesn't want to see him, not after he "broke up" with her again, not in this kind of pitiful state. But he doesn't really care about what she wants (then again when did he ever) and he just needs her. He misses her like crazy.
She's in her nightgown and she doesn't even seem surprised when she sits up to look at him. She only lays back into her bed and doesn't move as he crawls in. Neji wraps his arm around her waist, trails his fingers down beneath the silky him, and traces her skin. He kisses her neck, sucking softly, tugging her ear with his teeth.
"You reek of scotch," she says, pulling away from him. "You're drunk and I don't want to fuck when you're like this."
"I need you," he says, he doesn't beg, doesn't plead, doesn't say it to get sex, just says it as it is.
"Not enough," she says. "Honestly, I don't want to fuck at all, it's too tiring."
He gets it, truly. The hardest part of loving her was leaving, to pretend it didn't exist, to know it could never. But he pulls her back in, turns her around, and presses his lips to her softly. He may be drunk but this is not under any influence. He would have done this in any state of consciousness.
When they pull away he trembles and breaks. He sobs into her shoulder, the way she once did. She holds him, her hands firm against his back. He feels the coolness of her tears on his neck. Tenten whispers in his ear.
"I know, I know…"
They are not hopeless romantics, they are simply running out of hope.
His father's sword is heavy against his hand. It is clean, gleaming in the moonlight. It is too clean, in fact, so clean that he wishes to throw it in the river, but it is too precious to him. He stares at his reflection in the blade, he looks for shame but doesn't find it. He feels different but completely the same.
Hinata and Tenten stand side by side, wrapped in their cloaks. Neji approaches them, they stare at him intently. His cousin's hand is wrapped around her belly, Tenten is twirling the ring on her finger. Hinata walks forwards, Tenten is reserved, stays back.
"Did you do it? Is he finally gone?"
He stares his cousin in the eye, then his lover. "He is dead, at last."
Hinata sighs in relief, it is gruesome but it's true. No one likes Hiashi Hyuga, no one ever did. And without him, their lives will be peaceful and stable. She rubs her belly as the baby kicks but Neji can't notice.
Tenten starts to shake like a leaf in the wind. Her knees buckle. He sees tears in her eyes but she doesn't avert her gaze.
"He—He's gone?"
There is a sparkle of childish, inexplicable hope in her voice, one that he has never heard before. Neji suddenly laughs in relief, he laughs until he doesn't know if he's laughing or crying. She smiles too, she laughs like he is and she falls to her knees, burying her face in her hands.
Neji kneels next to her and he wraps her into an embrace.
It is dark when they are running through the streets, hand-in-hand. The only light is the one of the chapel, which waits for them eagerly, beckoning them with the promise of joy, till death do them apart.
i wrote this for the nt2021 prompt historical au and it was inspired by one of the plotlines of the regency drama bridgerton. i don't think this is my best work, it was kind of hard to push through my writer's block in regards to nejiten right now but i still love this fic, i think it's kinda sappy and cute. let me know what you think and if you have any comments in regards to historical accuracies (though i did take a few liberties)