The time started to stop before his jury come to declare a sentence.
Holmes listened attentively to the storm outside, knowing what would happen when the door was opened and the first steps echoed: he would have an answer, wich mean that his anguish could have an end or it could drown him in sadness.
For his strange companions he was the same unchanging man, Athelney Jones and Jonathan Small were ignorant to the fearful heart that was close to both of them. It did not take long for Watson to arrive, without wanting to think, he waited patiently and when his dear friend showed them the empty box, a sound similar to that of a glass being broken invaded his consciousness.
The world moved slower, slower since Holmes knew he had lost him forever.
…
When the intruders left and regained their privacy, they spent a few seconds trapped in that cherished feeling of comfort and peace that they always had together, that was an emotion that right now felt so fragile.
He wasn't sure if they could ever get it back when Watson decided it was time to condemn him. The silence between them was a truce, a rest that Watson gave to Holmes in his goodness before breaking the heart of the man who had been everything to him.
"Well, and there is the end of our little drama".
"It's the beginning in fact of our drama", Holmes thought but didn't say anything.
"I fear that it may be the last investigation in which I shall have the chance of studying your methods. Miss Morstan has done me the honor to accept me as a husband in prospective."
Holmes knew it.
Every detail in his face, in the look of his, the nervous gesture in his hands, the strange tranquility of his before the disappeared treasure, the small smile that escaped from him, he could not expect a different result but it still hurt.
Listening to it made it real, tangible, overwhelming.
Holmes gave a most dismal groan and was sincere:
"I feared as much… I really cannot congratulate you."
He could see the disappointment on Watson's face, a part of Holmes felt bad, he thought even if he only had more strength, if only he was kinder he could hide his pain but… Was it worth doing?
"Have you any reason to be dissatisfied with my choice?".
He almost laughs, what kind of question was that? Holmes has a million reasons but why he asked?, could he be sincere and reveal his wishes? Was Watson giving he a sign, a clue that if he revealed his truth, he would not receive hatred and rejection?
Holmes thought about it rationally and concluded that he was losing his mind, cause he wants to tell to Watson that he loves him, that he wants to be by his side but Holmes thinks that he cannot be that selfish so he makes that all the things he wanted to say to John fade away.
"Not at all. I think she is one of the most charming young ladies I ever met, and might have been most useful in such work as we have been doing. She had a decided genius that way: witness the way in which she preserved that Agra plan from all the other papers of her father".
The lies started to come out.
"But love is an emotional thing, and whatever is emotional is opposed to that true cold reason which I place above all things. I should never marry myself, lest I bias my judgment."
Tension, a silence full of silent wailing and all this was interrupted by the sweet laugh of Watson: "I trust that my judgment may survive the ordeal".
"My judgment couldn't survive to the ordeal". Was an idea that echoed in Holmes's soul.
"But you look weary"
He did not want to see his eyes when he noticed the note of concern that made Watson voice tremble, the idea of facing that gaze as blue as the ocean was intimidating right now.
"Yes, the reaction is already upon me. I shall be as limp as a rag for a week."
Like a rag doll, who has been left under the bed, condemned to be in the dark, with no one to rescue him, with no one to hear him. This is how he felt.
Before the night was out he clung to the cocaine-bottle, hoping it would numb his senses, make him insensible to the pain he felt when he was trapped between the walls of Baker Street.
Months passed and the inevitable happened, it was then that Holmes sometimes thought of moving, of fleeing the memories but he (Watson, his Watson) had left him there, frozen in time and he could not leave, he could not be part anymore of the bright future, he belonged to the past, to the time when only the two of them existed and no one else.
—
Inspired by: right where you left me - taylor swift.
It is the first time that I write a one-shot in English, it is not my mother tongue and my command of the language IS LOW, so be warned, ah yes, this is completed by another part that will be from Watson and the waterfalls BUT YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW MUCH IT COST ME TO DO THIS SHIT, so who knows if I will write it one day.