Lauren's POV

When I run so fast that all the ground seems to be swept away under my feet, I feel free. When I climb so high that everything becomes a speck on the ground, I feel like I could shatter heaven with my fist. When I jump back to the ground, that first moment of free-fall is utterly breath-catching. When I fight, even though I don't like hurting people or getting hurt myself, the intensity of focused energy crackling between my opponent and I, the shifting rhythm in my feet as I stay light on my toes, and that feeling of sweet, sweet anticipation when I deftly move in for the kill make me feel alive.

I am Dauntless-born and Dauntless-bred.

It was the last day of school.

School is a matter of course. I was neither great nor terrible at academics, but nothing academic ever held my interest.

I spent most of my time pulling off pranks and dares with a few of the other Dauntless-born: Shauna, Veronica, Voja, Blaise, and Izaac. Shauna was my closest friend. She was sweet and playful, but also a bit of a tomboy. Veronica was another of my best friends. She had a fiery spirit, but was also the mother hen of our group. She was also well-known in our school for her beauty. Blaise was Shauna's ex, though they remained good friends to this day. Blaise was generally quiet, but I'd seen glimpses of his caring side over the years, especially when he dated Shauna. Voja was the ringleader of our group, usually coming up with the riskiest dares. Izaac was the most academic of us all. He was not the most outspoken, but he held a special energy of his own, and he was the only one I'd ever met who could calm me down and talk me out of a dare.

There were other Dauntless-born in our year, of course, but the six of us remained the rowdiest group of troublemakers in the school. Some of the other Dauntless-born found us funny; others thought we were downright annoying. It all depended on who you asked.

After Mathematics, Voja said tauntingly, "Bet you can't scale that building and get to History in time." He pointed up to the Science building, which we normally went around to get to our next class.

"Voja, it's the last day of classes," Veronica pointed out. "You really want to get into trouble now?"

"Well, fine, then don't," Voja retorted. "But I'm going to. Anyone want to race?"

Blaise nodded.

Shauna looked over at me to roll her eyes, but then she saw the excited expression on my face. I tried to hide it- and failed.

"Lauren," Shauna said, almost scolding. "You aren't serious?"

"Uh… save me a seat?" I told her, shooting her an apologetic smile.

Shauna let out a noise of disbelief.

"Go!" Voja raced off before Blaise and I had were ready.

"Cheat!" I called, as Blaise and I began sprinting after him.

I heard Izaac sigh in amusement. "C'mon," he said gently to Shauna and Veronica. "Let's get to class."

"They're idiots," Shauna shook her head. "We've spent our whole lives climbing things, and they're still not tired of it?"

At this, Veronica laughed in exasperation. "Well, Voja never gets tired, period. And Blaise and Lauren have yet to learn to back down from a dare…"

"You'd think Lauren would have learned since last year, when she got her hair caught in the gate and had to chop it all off," Shauna grumbled.

"You would think, wouldn't you?" Izaac replied lightly. For a moment, his eyes followed Voja, Blaise, and my figures trying to scale the side of the Science building. Shaking his head a little, Izaac put his hand on Shauna's shoulder, and the two of them headed off to class, with Veronica just behind them.

Once I got to the side of the building, I jumped up. I managed to grab onto the top pane with my fingertips and get my toes onto the lower windowpane jutting out. I slid one of my feet between two bricks and pushed myself up to clutch onto the bottom windowpane of a higher-up window. I risked a dangerous move, bending my knees and leaping up off of my toes. Fortunately, I managed to get both my hands onto the rocky pane enough to be able to use that grip to drag my feet up again. From there, I had to clamber onto the rooftop. The roof was divided into three ascending sections.

Voja has already raced onto the third and highest section, while Blaise has somehow managed to clamber up onto the second section straight from the wall. I shook my head in disbelief. While Voja might be the fastest among our group, Blaise was almost spider-like in the way he could cling onto and climb walls. I dead sprint, catching up a little to Blaise, while Voja has disappeared over the edge and is now climbing down the other side of the building. Not to be outdone, as soon as I pushed my body over the rooftop, I took a daredevil fall, hoping to fall faster to the ground than Voja or Blaise could climb down.

"Lauren! You idiot!" Voja shouted. I heard the crowd below let out a startled cry.

My feet slammed into the ground. Rather than let my body take the force of the fall, I quickly started to trip backwards, when I slammed hard into someone's back.

I heard an angry voice say, "What in hell-?"

Some Candor boy yelled at me, "You stupid Dauntless! Can't you just walk like a normal person?"

I floundered, waving my arms ungracefully in the air for a second, before falling over on my side.

"Hey! What do you think you were doing?" I looked up to see one of the school security guards shouting at me. The guard was a ways away, though, and I realized that if I ran now, I could make it to the classroom and simply blend in. I wouldn't even be late if started running now.

However, I noticed that the boy I'd accidentally slammed into is now chasing down his papers, which he dropped because of me, and I knew that he would be late if I didn't stop to help him.

I sighed. It was my fault, I thought grudgingly. I started to chase down a few of the remaining papers, snatching them off the ground before they were stepped on or flew away.

Some girl from Abnegation realized what I was doing and she helped me. Handing me the papers she managed to collect, she smiled at me before she left quickly, likely not wanting to be late to class.

I walked up to boy I'd run into. He was an Erudite, and the long blue jacket that all upper division Erudite boys wore fit his slim frame. His long hair was tied back in long ponytail, and he wore steel-colored glasses to frame his sharp blue eyes – which were glaring resolutely at me.

"Here," I say, holding out the papers. "Sorry about that."

The boy only scowled at me. He was about to tell me off for stupidly jumping off that roof and bumping into him, but he glanced over my shoulder and spotted the security guard. He looked back down at me holding out his papers and instead, he asked me, "What are you doing? Are you an idiot? You're going to get caught."

Before I could respond, the security guard reached us. She grabbed my arm and demanded, "Did I just see you jump from that building?"

"I accidentally threw something up there and had to go get it," I lied.

"She's lying," some annoying Candor passing by chirped in. "I can tell."

"Mind your own business!" I shouted back, irritated.

The security guard's grip on my arm tightened.

"What's your name and year?" she asked, glaring down at me.

"Lauren Ashden, year fourteen," I replied glumly.

She paused. "Year fourteen? So, it's your last day here."

"Yes."

She sighed and then gently pushed me away. "Fine, I'll give you a free pass just this one time. Get out of here."

"Thanks," I said, relieved.

The bell rang out just then and I realized I was late. I sprinted to class and yanked open the classroom door.

"Ah, Ms. Ashden, so kind of you to join us," Professor Adams looked at me sternly. I lurched to a stop, trying to catch my breath.

It was only when the silence of the classroom settled in that I realized how loud my breathing was. I quickly clamped my lips shut.

"Fourteen years, and still figuring out how to find your way to class?" Professor Adams asked me, lifting an eyebrow.

"S-Sorry," I muttered. I'd never gotten along well with Professor Adams. This would be one relationship I wouldn't feel too sorry about moving past.

"Well, if you'd like to take a seat," Professor Adams suggests wryly.

I instinctively started towards where Voja, Blaise, Veronica, Shauna, and Izaac were sitting. Voja was smirking at me. "Slowpoke," he muttered under his breath. Izaac shook his head lightly at me, his face an expression of resigned amusement, while Shauna shot me a classic "I-told-you-so" look. But as I neared them, I realized that I couldn't sit besides any of them directly, as all of the seats were full. I had to pass them all by and take the only empty seat in the very back row. I quickly sat down and ducked my head down, trying to keep my breathing under control.

I failed to notice the brown-haired boy besides me glance over at me. He smiled to himself a little as he realized how hard I was working to quiet my breathing. But a minute later, and he was back to staring out of the classroom window.

The minutes ticked by, and as the adrenaline of my run wore off, Professor Adam's voice lured me into a doze. I put my chin in my palm and rested my eyes. However, at that moment, the person next to me shifted, and as the sun suddenly struck the side of my face, I realized that I had actually been resting comfortably in the shadow of another person this entire time. Squinting, I glanced over to my left to see a sturdy-statured boy with tanned skin and brown hair. His arms were resting on the desk in front of him, and he was gazing out the window.

I'd seen him before, throughout our school years, but as I dug through my memory and tried to remember him, I realized that I had never had a conversation or even made eye contact with him before. His clothing indicated Abnegation, but try as I might, I couldn't remember his name. I mentally shrugged and turned away after a few seconds. What did it matter? It was the last day of school. I'd probably never see him again.

When class ended, the others came over to me.

"You lost!" Voja said triumphantly. "You're the only one who didn't make it before the bell rang!"

"I thought you were right behind me," Blaise said. "Where did you go?"

"Got caught up, that's all," I told him.

"Are you hurt?" Izaac asked me.

I shook my head, though my feet hurt and my legs were sore from my foolhardy landing.

Instead, I turned to Voja and poked him in the chest. "You cheated."

"And?" Voja lifted an eyebrow. "Think you can take me if I don't?"

Before I could respond, he forced me into a headlock. Obviously, he didn't seriously hurt me, but still, I wasn't going to let him prove his point. I remembered what my older brother, Marc, another Dauntless member- now Dauntless leadership, actually- told me when we were younger and he was teaching me how to fight: "If you're ever put into a headlock, Lauren, here's what you do: Free up the left arm, draw it back, and aim for the guts or if it's a guy, between there crotch."

Listening to Marc's voice in my head, I freed my left arm and drew it back- and then I paused- Should I be kind and go for the ribs or be mean and go for the crotch? Normally, I'm a more honorable, aim-for-the-ribs kind-of person, but today, with Voja- I punched him lightly in the crotch. It was still hard enough that Voja groaned and let me go instantly. Shauna, Veronica, and Blaise all laughed. Izaac patted Voja sympathetically on his shoulder. Voja glared at me and murmured sorely, "Cheat." I grinned at him.

But the laughter died down considerably as we finished our morning classes and headed to lunch. Because today was the day of Faction tests, and although none of us have ever spoken about being anything other than Dauntless, there was always the possibility that we may not test as Dauntless. My parents are Dauntless. My brother is Dauntless. I'm Dauntless-born and bred, and I know I'll be Dauntless, so I'm not too nervous. But Shauna's father was a transfer from Erudite, and her older sister transferred to Candor. Izaac is an only child, but both of his parents were transfers- his mother was from Amity and his father was from Abnegation. I didn't know about the others' family histories. Even though we've known each other our whole lives and even though we were all Dauntless-born, we didn't talk much about the other factions. In fact, it felt like we weren't supposed to. Though no one ever said it aloud, it was almost as though a transfer was regarded as a betrayal. And everyone knew that no one is supposed to talk about their ex-factions at all. I didn't know why exactly that was, but I remembered something else Marc told me, "Faction before blood."

I walked into the testing room. A woman from Abnegation, who had her hair back in a simple bun and who wore plain grey clothing, was awaiting me.

"Please sit in the chair," she said, indicating.

I sat back in the chair and waited calmly.

"You're one of the more relaxed ones I've seen today," the woman observed.

"I know the result I'm going to get," I told her confidently.

"Is that so?" The woman came and sat in a chair besides mine. She pressed electrodes to my forehead. Her hands were so gentle that it startled me. I had never felt this kind of gentleness before, even from my own parents, who loved me with all of their hearts.

"And what faction is that?" she asked me.

"Dauntless."

"Ah, Dauntless." She smiled again, but also sighed a little. "Is that the faction that you want?"

I blinked. No one has ever asked me that – not so straightforwardly, anyways. But after a moment, I replied, "Yes."
"Then this test matters little," she told me. "Nevertheless, drink this." She held up a vial of clear liquid to my lips.

Not used to being coddled in any way, I didn't realized that I was supposed to open my mouth. Instead, I awkwardly reached up and took the cup from her. She paused, and then she sat back. I drank the vial before handing her the empty cup.

In a matter of seconds, my head fell back and my eyes closed. The last thing I heard was the woman's soothing voice saying, "Best of luck, Lauren."

I opened my eyes to find myself standing in what looked to be the school cafeteria, but the tables were all empty. On the table directly in front of me were two baskets: one holding cheese and the other containing a knife.

"Choose."

I instantly turned around to try to locate the voice, but there was no one there.

"Choose."

My hand flicked out immediately towards the knife, but I slowed down. I can't pick the knife without knowing what's going to happen, I thought. Picking a knife is a natural response if I'm going out into a battlefield or against an opponent, but what if the next scenario is one where I have to help someone? My hand, still outstretched, paused.

"Choose now."

But I didn't.

"Fine, then. Have it your way."

Suddenly, the baskets vanished. I backed away from the empty table. As I did, I heard a door squeak open behind me. I turned around to see a sizeable dog with a pointed nose bounding in. I held my breath and stopped moving at once. But the dog caught my scent immediately and began to growl.

Shit, I thought, but a part of me is glad I didn't grab the knife. The cheese seems useless as well, in my opinion. But what can I do now?

I started running, knowing full well that the dog was faster than me. But I managed to skid over the tables and the dog had to leap to chase me. But it caught up to me so quickly. With a loud bark, it jumped.

No! I yelled in my head, but it's too late. I felt its claws gripping onto my back. I crashed to the ground, breathless. I clenched my teeth together, instinctively preparing myself to feel the dog's teeth rip my flesh.

Instead, I heard a little girl's voice shouting, "Puppy!"

The dog, growling above me, snapped its head in the direction of the voice. So do I.

There can't be a little girl here, I thought, dazed. No way. Why…? Then, I gasped. It really was a little girl, running towards us with her arms outstretched.

The dog snarled and started to run towards her and away from me.

"Hey, wait!" I shouted. Before I've thought it through, I'm on my feet and sprinting. The dog's too fast, I realized desperately, but if I jump before it gets any further, I might be able to stop the dog before it reaches the little girl - ! I jumped as hard as I could, reaching out to grab the dog's feet or tail.

But instead, I landed hard on the ground. My hand was empty.

"Ow," I muttered, standing back up. Then, I realized that I had somehow landed in a bus full of people.

"'Ow' is right. You ran into me, you silly girl."

I turned around to see an old man, wearing dark sunglasses and with a mouth bent like a snarl. His whole face was scarred and his breath smelled like cigarettes.

I instinctively closed my hand in a fist, ready to strike.

At that moment, the old man held up a newspaper. The headline read: "Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended!" The picture showed a young man with a plain face and a beard.

"You know this guy?" the old man questioned me, his voice rough and low.

I do know him. I don't know how I know him, or from where, but I do know him.

"Well?" the old man pressed me. There was deep anger in his voice.

I sensed that something terrible would happen if I told him that I know him.

"I don't know," I said quietly.

"Liar," the old man muttered. Then, he stepped closer, getting in my face. I drew back my fist.

"Liar!" he shouted. I'm about to swing, when he burst out, "If you know him, you could save me. You could save me!"

I paused, stopping my fist. Save him? Save him from what?

I looked at the old man harder. "Who are you?" I wondered aloud.

"Do you know him?" the man persisted.

Save him? What if he's only in this scary state because of what's happened to him? What if he was just taken advantage of? Pity welled up inside me, though it's yet unjustified.

Finally, I muttered, "Yeah, I might know him."

I woke up suddenly. My palms were sweaty and my heart was beating incredibly fast. I didn't think I was that scared when I was actually facing the man, but my body told me otherwise.

I sat up and swung my legs to the side of my chair.

"Are you all right?" My test proctor was standing behind me, at the computer. She came over and removed the electrodes from my head.

"Of course I'm fine," I said.

"Of course," she replied. "Dauntless are always fine."

I looked up at her, joy bubbling in my heart. "So I was right? I'm Dauntless."

"On the other hand, Abnegation deny fear in the presence of others," she continued.

I stared at her, confused. What is she saying?

"You tested Abnegation, sweetheart."

"Hey, kiddo," my father greeted me when I walked through the door. "Congratulations on finishing school."

"Thanks, Dad."

My mother appeared in the doorway. "It's your last night before the Choosing Ceremony. Do you want to eat just us three or eat in the canteen?"

None of us were brilliant cooks, and I didn't much feel like thinking about my test results.

"Canteen," I replied. "Maybe we'll catch Marc."

"I doubt it," my father responded. "Marc's very busy these days."

"You'll see him more than us once you're Dauntless," my mother told me.

"Right," I said placidly. "Shall we be off then? I'm kind-of hungry."

Mom and Dad were right, Marc wasn't there. We sat at the tables anyways.

"Lauren, once Initiation starts, it's going to be very tough. You know that, right?" Mom told me, casting a stern eye over me.

"I know," I responded. "Physically and mentally-"

"And emotionally," Dad added. "It's grueling emotionally. You've got to stay above it, and realize there's light at the end of the tunnel."

I nodded. "I'll remember."

"Good."

My parents and I took a train to the Choosing Ceremony. We all jumped off together. I have always loved jumping on and off trains. It was one of my favorite feelings in the world. I remembered I used to hold onto my Dad's shoulders, and later, Marc's, when I was too young to jump off myself. But this time, it was Mom who stumbled a little, to the point that Dad had to catch her. I frowned. I've never seen Mom struggle with something as simple as this.

We made our way down from the train rails, and I noticed that Mom and Dad were both straining as they climbed down to the ground. I looked around, hoping to see Marc waiting. He would be able to explain all this. But he wasn't there.

My mother caught the fact that that I was looking for him.

"He'll be here, Lauren. He said he would be here," she told me.

I didn't respond, and instead, I pressed onto where the Choosing Ceremony is taking place.

We had to separate at the entrance. Marc still wasn't here.

"Stop thinking about your brother," my father scolded me. "He's doing what he needs to do. And you have to focus on you, and think about what you're going to do."

What am I going to do?

For a moment, I imagined that it was the last time I'm seeing my parents. I imagined that I didn't get to see Marc.

"All right, Dad," I said quietly.

"We have to go," Mom told Dad. She turned to me. "Good luck, Lauren."

And my parents were gone- no hugs, no longing glimpses, no tears.

Is it because they're confident I'll choose Dauntless or because they don't care? Or maybe their parents treated them this way too?

On the one hand, I loved that my parents saw me as independent. I didn't need to be coddled or constantly looked after. But on the other hand, I remembered the woman from Abnegation who had had such gentle hands. She'd told me her name before I left: Natalie Prior.

I found my place, joining the line of everyone partaking in the Choosing Ceremony. I stood between Danny Arcadia, another Dauntless-born and Nadine Atney from Abnegation. Nadine and I recognized each other at the same time. She was the one who helped me pick up papers yesterday. She smiled and nodded at me, but underneath her kind and calm demeanor, I could tell she was nervous.

Danny looked over at me. "You all right?"

"Yeah," I said. "What about you?"

"Sure," he replied easily. "Only one place is home, after all."

So Danny would be choosing Dauntless. Of course, I thought. Danny's a natural. The only thing that keeps him from being an obvious ace in Dauntless is his small frame. But he's the quickest out of all of us; maybe only Blaise could challenge him. All of the kids in Dauntless respected Danny. He was quiet, but he was a star player in all our games, ever since we were young.

As the ceremony took place in reverse alphabetical order, the three of us were all in it for the long haul. I took a deep breath as I watched the ceremony begin.

Cade Zakar, a Dauntless-born whom I recognized as one of Danny's friends, was called first. Cade was also good friend with Voja, I knew. The two of them had pulled off enough daredevil stunts that it was miracle that both of them were alive and each had four working limbs. In fact, we used to call Cade "Daredevil" when we were younger.

Cade moved towards the five bowls in the center of the room. Each bowl contained an element to identify each of the factions: Amity, kindness, was earth; Abnegation, selflessness, was gray stones; Erudite, intelligence, was water; Candor, truth, was glass; and Dauntless, bravery, was lit coals.

Cade is Dauntless, through and through; he'll choose Dauntless.

Cade took the knife from the Erudite leader, a blonde woman dressed in a smart blue suit. He dragged it across his palm and blood ran down his wrist, but it didn't drip. He stood there for a long time, long enough to start making the Dauntless crowd, including myself, uneasy.

Then, Cade held his hand over the glass and let a few drops of blood drip into the bowl.

There was a gasp from the Dauntless audience. I saw Cade's father half-rise out of his seat, but his mother quickly put her hand on his shoulder. Beside me, Danny's eyes widened. But he, too, stayed utterly still otherwise.

We lost three more of our number in the next thirty minutes: Rolfe to Erudite, Beau to Amity, and Hailey to Candor. To be honest, these were not surprising transfers. They had never fit in well with us even as kids. To my relief, Voja, Blaise, and Shauna all remained in Dauntless. Unfortunately, so did Tyler, who everyone regarded as a prick and a bully. We also gained several transfers: George Wu from Erudite, Alec Tallon from Candor, Sylvia Roche from Abnegation, Yaxsper Riley from Candor, and Rhys Layne from Amity.

Then, we came to Ks. A girl named Jade Kaur joined Dauntless from Candor. Then, Veronica Kasper was called up. I watched my best friend of several years stride up to the podium. Her walk was so graceful and her long dark brown hair swayed behind her. It was obvious from the way people looked at her that she was drawing attention for her beauty. She had courage, lots of it, but she was also charming. I was proud that we were each other's best friends.

Just Izaac, you, and me, V, I thought. Then the whole group will be back together again.

Veronica put the blade to her palm and cut lightly. Then, drops of her blood splashed against grey stones. I blinked. Veronica moved away as the Abnegation group cheered.

I heard someone in the audience from Candor sigh and say, "What a waste of beauty."

And then it was the next person- Andrew Lenard, Dauntless-born- and he stayed Dauntless. My mind was unsettled, whirring. Why did Veronica leave Dauntless? I never had the impression that she was unhappy with us. Why did Andrew stay, and Veronica leave? Two other Dauntless-born, Zayne and Eleazar, also stayed in Dauntless. A stream of people I didn't know very well went up next. Most remained loyal to their factions, though two from Amity, Lyra and Julien, transferred to Dauntless, and a few from Erudite transferred to Candor or Amity.

Finally, it was Izaac's turn. I watched with tense eyes when Izaac walked up to the bowls. He was Dauntless-born, but if I had to align him with a faction, I'm not sure that I would say Dauntless. He was brave, but never reckless and always kind. He cut his hand and moved towards the bowls. I held my breath.

"Dauntless," Jeanine called out. I let out a breath.

As Izaac went to join the Dauntless with a roar of approval from the Dauntless crowd, Jeanine called out the next name, "Tobias Eaton."

An unassuming boy, with shoulders back and head held up high, but eyes down to the ground, went up to the podium. He was wearing Abnegation clothes.

He cut his hand and turned to the two bowls on his left- Abnegation and Dauntless.

Probably Abnegation, I thought.

But then, I saw a small trail of steam rise up from one of the bowls, which could only mean that his blood had sizzled on hot coals.

A loud murmuring rang out amongst the Abnegation crowd. It steadily grew into shouts and even cries. I paused, confused. Who is this boy? Why is there such a reaction?

I rummaged through my memory, but I just remembered that he always kept to himself. I knew he was in my year, and that was it. The Dauntless clapped reluctantly. We were always a little cautious of those from Abnegation. They were often our opposites. We claimed individuality and tried to conquer it, while they rejected it at all counts.

"Order!" Jeanine demanded in a clipped, annoyed voice. "Be quiet, please."

Another from Erudite remained with Erudite, and then yet another Erudite boy walked up. His gait was fast. His demeanor was so stern for someone who was only sixteen years old. I paused. That long blonde hair tied back… He was strangely familiar. He walked up to the podium and took off his glasses and pocketed them. Then, he took the knife from Jeanine. I thought I saw an odd focus come into Jeanine's eyes, as though she were willing Eric to do something. But then she stepped back, perfectly demure, and I figured I must have imagined it.

Ah, right, I remembered now. I had run into him just yesterday. He called me an idiot only yesterday- and for trying to help him. Although it was my fault for running into him in the first place.

Ah, well, just don't be Dauntless, I thought to myself.

But then, Jeanine called out, "Dauntless."

Whispers slithered through the crowd.

"What? But he ranked first in his class! Is he just going to throw away a perfectly good life in Erudite?"

"What the hell possessed him to choose Dauntless? He's the best we have!"

From what I could hear, this boy was the smartest of the Erudite lot.

There was only person with a "B" last name: Emily Bettany, another Dauntless-born, and Danny's girlfriend. Before she stepped out of the line, she gave Danny a look. Danny swallowed hard, but he didn't move.

Emily walked up to the bowls, and she chose – "Erudite."

I wanted to look over at Danny, but I knew it would be more respectful to keep my eyes down. Besides, it was time for me to focus. It was nearly my turn, as we were finally in the "A"s.

"Nadine Atney."

The girl to my right, from Abnegation, slowly made her way to the stage. Some of the Dauntless and Candor shuffled or cleared their throat, for she was walking quite slowly.

Nadine lightly, but deliberately cut her palm before turning to her left- Abnegation or Dauntless. And then- to everyone's surprise- she chose Dauntless. Jeanine's eyebrow raised, but she merely announced the result.

Then- "Lauren Ashden."

My legs felt sore and after standing for so long; they felt locked. I had to force them apart.

Calm down, I told myself. You already know what's going to happen.

I stepped onto the podium. Jeanine silently handed me the knife. I threw a look over my shoulder. I found my parents easily in the crowd- and besides them was Marc. My heart slowed down. I always found comfort when I saw my brother – my sturdy and ever-confident brother.

I turned back to the bowls in front of me and steeling myself, I cut into my palm. I turned to my left- Abnegation and Dauntless. My hand immediately went to the lit coals, but I paused for a second. My hand hovered over the coals. No blood has dropped yet. My eyes wandered over to the grey stones sitting just beside the Dauntless bowl. Am I really Abnegation? Is that really what I am?

I closed my eyes and squeezed my hand. Blood trickled out and then dripped.

A moment of silence, then Jeanine called out, "Dauntless!"

There was a loud storm of applause and cheers, as there was for any Dauntless-born who chose to remain Dauntless. I joined Shauna, Voja, Blaise, and Izaac. My eyes looked across the podium, not to my family, but to Veronica, who was standing quietly behind Abnegation. I could be standing beside her instead.

Veronica was avoiding my gaze, I knew. But I wish she wouldn't. I wanted to make eye contact with her at least one more time, to remind myself that our friendship was real. I wanted to tell her with my eyes that I don't blame her, that I almost chose Abnegation, too. But she wasn't giving me a chance.

The last remaining person, Danny, walked up to the podium. He cut his palm. I held my breath. He must feel so complicated right now. Cade left for Candor and Emily for Erudite- What will he do? He held his bleeding hand over a bowl. It sizzled. "Dauntless!"

Jeanine stepped forward to give a closing speech. I didn't really hear any of it. I'm struck by how emotional I feel. I was only thinking of myself- Knowing that I would pick Dauntless, I had thought of the Choosing Ceremony as a quick, "Get in, get out" sort-of event, but so many changes happened in such a short time. From the looks on people's faces, everyone was a little startled. Candor did not expect to lose so many to us, Erudite and Abnegation seemed utterly confused as to why some of their best and brightest left them, and Dauntless shared the same feeling. Amity alone remained peaceful, smiling, and letting go of their young with hopeful hearts. I wonder why Abnegation does not share the same response – usually they do, usually they are also forgiving and quick to let go of those who chose to leave them. Who was this boy who left? He stirred up the whole Abnegation crowd, which is usually an impossible feat… I turned to find him in the crowd of new Dauntless initiates, but the speech was already over, and people were pushing to get out. As usual, the Dauntless were rushing to be first out of the auditorium. Shauna pulled me forward and as the energy of the crowd started to build momentum and swept me up, I allowed myself to smile and ride that wave out of the auditorium.