First of all: Hi and welcome to my page so I don't know if any of you are still out there lmao but I still get way too emotional over these two. They own my whole heart and I just somehow started writing this in the middle of the night. So I thought I'll post it here :) enjoy (btw English is not my first language, so be gentle)

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS and its characters. All rights belong to the creators of the show. This story is for entertainment purposes only and I don't earn any money with it.

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And there she walked. Walked away from everything she knew. From everything she was. From NCIS, from DC, but most importantly - from him.

He had the urge to run after her, to grab her by her shoulders, to shake her and make her stay. He wanted to scream at her that she couldn't leave him, she just couldn't. But he knew he screwed up.

He knew it, he knew it all along. But all he did was behaving like a coward. And it wasn't before this very moment he realized that.

Why couldn't he just see it? Why did he have to deny it for freaking 19 years? A fist crashed down on the couch next to him. All along he was nothing more but a blind, stubborn marine. He lost her. And the worst part of it was that it was his fault.

Basically he knew it the whole time. If he took a short moment in between all the pain and the cases to take a glimpse into his heart, he knew. But still the hard and not deniable truth how much pain he caused them both hit him hard like a train while he watched her walking away from him down the street as in slowmotion.

All these years his number one priority was to keep her safe. And he did most of the time. At least he kept her alive. But while he kept her safe physically, he never realized that he was the cause of her inside hurt.

"What I really need to know,...Gibbs,...is if you're gonna love me...no matter what"

One simple sentence. One clear question. But all he could do was stare at her till she turned and walked back to her car. He knew this sentence had a stronger meaning than her realizing he killed someone. And that was the reason for his staring and his mouth staying shut. He knew she asked for something deeper, for him to step out of his shell, to help her understand. She nearly plead for him to say something, to tell her how he really felt but all he did was sitting next to his boat and the sawdust and stare at the woman he loved.

He loved her. It hit him like a train even though he knew it all along. He loved her and she loved him. Not like everyone knew they loved each other. Not just in the bringing-daily-Caf-Pow and kisses-on-the-cheek-way. He really and truly loved her. All this time he denied it and broke her heart more and more and more till he finally made her walk away.

He felt like he saw clearly for the first time in years. She was walking away now because he was afraid of love. He was afraid of taking the risk and grabbing the chance by its hand when he had the opportunity to. And he had the opportunity. More than once. Probably more than one thousand times. He had the chance to do what was right for them for 19 years. But he never did because he was afraid of really loving someone again.

She was gone. And he knew she wouldn't come back. She hold onto him for way too long already. It was time for her to move on and he understood but still it tore him apart.

And there she walked. Walked away from the man she loved, from the one she wanted. And all he wanted was to run after her, to wrap his arms around her, to hold her close and kiss her with everything he had and finally tell her how much he loved her, truly loved her for all these years. But instead he sat there like a stone, sat on the edge of the couch in his darkened living room, holding her warm goodbye letter, deep sadness mirrored in his features, and watched the woman he loved walk away.

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Hope you liked it, reviews are very welcomed :)