Tsunayoshi Sawada and the Five Cunning Lions
A Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there was a brunette boy called Tsunayoshi Sawada. He was on the way to see his resurrected ancestor Giotto Vongola, when he decided to take a short cut through Central Park.
It wasn't long before Tsunayoshi got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Gio-Chan, but Gio-Chan was nowhere to be found! Tsunayoshi began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Gio-Chan. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a cunning lion dressed in an Orange Cloak disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Tsunayoshi.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed lion. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Tsunayoshi reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from sweet potatoes, a house made from toffees, a house made from cupcakes, a house made from lollipops, a house made from pancakes and a house made from sweets.
Tsunayoshi could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Tsunayoshi looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Tsunayoshi a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Gio-Chan!
"Gio-Chan!" shouted Tsunayoshi. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Gio-Chan back!" cried Tsunayoshi.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Gio-Chan out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, five cunning lions rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Tsunayoshi recognised the one in the Orange Cloak that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Lion," said the witch.
"Good morning." The lion noticed Gio-Chan. "Who is this?"
"That's Gio-Chan," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Gio-Chan would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the lion.
The witch shook her head. "Gio-Chan is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Tsunayoshi interrupted. "Gio-Chan lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Lion ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Lion looked at the house made from sweets and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from sweets if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next lion. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Gio-Chan."
Tsunayoshi watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Gio-Chan to Big Lion. He didn't think Gio-Chan would like living with a cunning lion, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other four lions watched while Big Lion put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Lion. "Just you watch!"
Big Lion pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Lion started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of toffees, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Lion.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Lion never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Gio-Chan remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Lion stepped up, and approached the house made from cupcakes.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Lion. "Just you watch!"
Average Lion pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cupcakes. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Lion started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a lion!" said Average Lion.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Lion, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the lion away under his arm.
Average Lion never finished eating the front door made from cupcakes and Gio-Chan remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Lion stepped up, and approached the house made from lollipops.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Lion. "Just you watch!"
Little Lion pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lollipops. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Lion started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating lollipops for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Lion into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Lion. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Lion was never seen again.
Little Lion never finished eating the front door made from lollipops and Gio-Chan remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Tiny Lion stepped up, and approached the house made from pancakes.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Lion. "Just you watch!"
Tiny Lion pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from pancakes. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Lion's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of pancakes, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.
"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Lion, and stomped off into the forest.
Tiny Lion never finished eating the front door made from pancakes and Gio-Chan remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Even-Tinier Lion stepped up, and approached the house made from sweets.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Lion. "Just you watch!"
Even-Tinier Lion pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from sweets. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Suddenly, Even-Tinier Lion stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Sweets! Watch me eat all the sweets!"
"It looks as though the sweets are making you hyperactive," laughed the witch.
"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Lion. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.
Bong!
Even-Tinier Lion banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.
Even-Tinier Lion never finished eating the front door made from sweets and Gio-Chan remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Gio-Chan."
"Not so fast," said Tsunayoshi. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from sweet potatoes. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the lions. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Tsunayoshi.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Gio-Chan back."
Tsunayoshi ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from sweet potatoes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Tsunayoshi sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Tsunayoshi. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Tsunayoshi's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Tsunayoshi was down to the final piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Tsunayoshi had eaten the entire front door of the house made from sweet potatoes.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Gio-Chan or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Tsunayoshi hurried over and grabbed Gio-Chan, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Gio-Chan was unharmed.
Tsunayoshi thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Giotto. It was starting to get dark.
When Tsunayoshi got to Giotto's house, his resurrected ancestor threw his arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Giotto. "You are very late."
As Tsunayoshi described his day, he could tell that Giotto didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Giotto.
Tsunayoshi unwrapped a doorknob made from toffees. "Pudding!" he said.
Giotto almost fell off his chair.
The End