Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor the setting, those belong to Disney, only the story is mine.
Author's note: Although I do have knowledge of it, English is not my first language, so please be kind and let me know if you spot any mistakes.
Summary: Steve and Bucky's feelings for each other during CATFA and Steve's feelings for Peggy. Kinda angsty. Originally thought as a preface for another Stucky fic but can easily stand on its own.
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Steven Grant Rogers couldn't quite remember when he had started having feelings for his best friend James Buchanan Barnes. It seemed they had always been together and his love for Bucky had crept up on him, almost taking by surprise.
As they grew up Steve had tried to ignore how Bucky chased skirt after skirt, taking pity on his fragile friend Steve, bringing him along on his dates, trying to hook him up with a girl. But trying to ignore it and managing it were two very different things. Steve knew they could not be together but that didn't make it hurt any less.
The first time Steve had seen Bucky in his uniform, his heart had stopped in his chest. He has spent countless nights dreaming about taking it off the brunette's body. Try as he might, he could not control the feelings of love and lust that overcame him when he thought of Bucky.
When the time came, a feeling of anger and shame overcame him. Knowing that he would be left behind, too weak and sick to defend his country and to follow his friend into war broke his heart. What if Bucky reached the end of the line and Steve wasn't there with him? Bucky was the main reason Steve kept trying to fool the recruitment office.
James Buchanan Barnes had always had a soft spot for his scrawny friend Steven Grant Rogers. After spending all their lives together, Bucky could not keep denying that what he felt for Steve was way deeper than just friendship.
It was a miracle Stevie had even survived that long, but it shouldn't have been surprising as Steve was the most stubborn little son of a bitch Bucky knew. He felt his heart falter every time Steve tried to fool the recruitment office. His sweet friend wouldn't last a day in the field. Bucky was harsher than he wanted to be, trying to deter Stevie from making any more attempts to land himself in the middle of a war he would not be able to survive. Perhaps after Bucky left, Steve would find himself a nice girl and live the rest of his years safe and sound. The thought of Steve moving on without him was barely bearable. But what chance did they have? What he wanted was impossible by any means, maybe in another life.
When Steven Grant Rogers saw Margaret Elizabeth "Peggy" Carter for the first time, he felt something inside of him jolt to life. The only other time he had felt something like that had been when he had been with Bucky.
As time passed and they got to know one another better, he realized she could see beyond the fragile boy everyone saw and into the man he wished to be seen as. The way in which she behaved towards him didn't feel like pity at all.
After the serum, she didn't treat him differently. She knew this was who he had been all along. Now he just had an exterior to match. She saw him just like Bucky had once seen him. In Steve's heart, they both occupied equal places.
All through his tour as Captain America, Steve kept his mind on Bucky. If he could not fight, he would do anything in his power to help. He would do anything for him.
The moment Steve found out Bucky had died, it was as if a piece of his heart had died. Steve would avenge his friend's death or die trying. Leaving Peggy behind would be sad, but even if he loved her and she loved him, their relationship was not going to come to fruition. There would never be a happy ever after for Steve Rogers and that was ok, he was selfless and sensible enough to accept that.
Sergeant Barnes had to do a double take as news of Captain America reached Europe and he recognized his life-long friend Steve Rogers in his stars and stripes uniform. He collected any pictures of him he could get his hands on and touched himself thinking about him, fantasizing about when they would meet again or calling him his husband. Anything was possible in his imagination.
After losing the battle and being captured, the thought of Steve being almost indestructible was the only ray of hope left in Bucky. Steve would be fine. Bucky repeated this as a mantra and when he saw Steve in his cell he thought he had finally died and smiled, happy to see his crush again.
Steve had come to terms with the fact that he might die in that facility but after finding Bucky, the blond had never felt more eager to live. He wanted to stay alive in this world that still housed Bucky Barnes even if they could only be friends; he could live with that.
Bucky put on a brave face but he could barely hold back tears as he saw the look Steve gave Agent Carter in her red dress. Sure, he had always tried to get Steve a date but deep inside he knew the chances of a lady actually liking Steve Rogers were remote. However, Captain America was a whole different deal. Everyone wanted a piece of him. Stevie liked Carter and she liked him. And Bucky was not about to get in between his friend and his chance of finally being happy.
From then on, Bucky was always watching Captain America's back, his sole purpose in life to make sure his friend lived through the war so he could be with Peggy. Bucky served this purpose all the way to his death. He had managed to be with him to the end of the line. Or what he thought the end of the line was. His only regret would be not having told Steve just how much he had loved him.
Steve felt half of his heart break all over when his friend fell off that train to his death. This time there was no hope at all that Bucky might still be alive. At least Steve still had Peggy. He loved her just as much as he had loved Bucky and he knew that if the war ever ended they could be happy together.
But alas, that was not what the universe had in store for him. As he piloted the ship towards the ice, Steve opened his compass and propped it on top of the controls; in it were a picture of Peggy and a picture of Bucky, side by side, both halves of Steve's heart, till the end of the line.
The end
Author's note: Like the summary says, I'm currently working on a Stucky piece that will be on the funnier side and I wrote this to be the preface but it kinda took on a life of its own so I just uploaded it as is. Thank you for reading. Reviews are appreciated :)
PS: I rewatched CATFA and I cannot for the life of me understand how people were fooled into believing that Steve is straight. That man is at least Bi if not full on gay.