"That sadness that you do not speak of,

that haunts you in the ache of midnight.

Give it to me.

I want to heal that."

Nikita Gill

Cat feels the slight movement next to her more than she hears Alex step up to her. It's been long enough since Cat went after Kara and even longer since Kara went to open another bottle of wine.

"How often has she done it?" Alex whispers as Kara turns on the faucet and washes her hands.

"Third time I've witnessed so far." Cat's tone suggests that she has the same suspicion as Alex - that Kara probably rinsed her hands a few times before anyone watched her.

"You feel like you want to stop her, right?" Alex understands. She's tried it before.

"Yes-" Cat sighed- "but it's only going to make it worse later."

Cat feels Alex's curious eyes on her and leans further against the wall so she can see Alex's face.

"I covered a war when I was younger." She just shrugs and leaves it at that.

But it's enough. Alex has seen her fair share of battle even without actually going to war zones. There's enough violence inside their national borders to give her nightmares fuel for three lifetimes. She likes to think she's hardened herself, but she understands Kara's episode better than she wants to admit.

Her respect for Cat grows with every little detail like this she learns about her. And she remembers the bottle of Lexapro she saw Cat quickly slip back in her bag when they weren't as well acquainted as they were now.

"You think we'll ever get that wine?" Alex tries to lighten the mood.

"I'll give her a few more minutes," Cat relents. "See if she comes out of it herself."

"I still get worried too when she's like this," Alex whispers, well aware that Kara could hear them if she wanted to, no matter how low they kept their voices.

"I don't know what to do except be there," Cat sighs almost as if in defeat, "but sometimes I know it's not enough."

"How can it feel like enough when it's Kara?" Alex asks honestly and smiles a little.

Cat takes a sip of the wine still left in her glass and doesn't reply. There's no need to. Everyone who knows and loves Kara feels like that. Like giving her the world if possible wouldn't ever be enough.

They can't even begin to comprehend the things Kara must have seen. Not only since she has arrived on Earth. And for her to still be all this - it's an enigma Cat wants to spent the rest of her life unraveling.

Something catches Kara's attention and Cat is once again amazed at how fast Kara can transform her expression into pure sunshine. She's not surprised to see it's Carter who's pulled Kara out of herself.

"It's a miracle, isn't it?" Alex bumps her shoulder into Cat's at the transformation they just witnessed. "With all the darkness she's seen…"

"It's no wonder she tries to fill the world around her with light in every way she can." Cat finishes. "Makes me want to fill her life with happiness, every little crack I can find."

Cat is well aware that she can't lighten Kara's burdens or the guilt she feels. But she's someone Kara can come home to. Someone to simply sit with and help her focus on her breathing. Someone Kara can be silent with. A glimpse of relief.

Later in bed, Cat will watch Kara as she tries to sleep. She will watch the demons crawl over her features and the quiet tear slipping out as Kara stares at the ceiling. She'll watch the constriction of her throat as Kara tries to suppress a sob.

And she'll take Kara's hand and place it over her heart. She'll hold it there and keep her breathing steady as she watches Kara slowly calm.

She'll offer a night long reprieve and they'll be enough.