Walking down those halls after the flood of information he had let go for so many years from the woman he loved was being torturous. He never bothered to give her a chance, to understand why, even though she was made for that job, some cases caught her so hard. She was not just anyone. She was Sara, the woman he had been struggling to get out of his mind since the day he decided to go to San Francisco. She had too many questions and a smile that left him with no structure to keep a concise thought.
- You wanted to talk to me about Sara?
- I haven't received the disciplinary action yet, what's taking so long?
- Well, I'm not going to fire her.
His voice was firm. He would not leave her side and her protection.
- What action are you going to take?
He looked at Catherine and raised an eyebrow; he knew how hostile the woman could be when she wanted to be, was now and probably had been with Sara.
- I already have.
- I thought I was straight.
- You were. - His gaze was firm, and anyone who knew him would know that his low voice meant that he was controlling his anger. - Now it's my turn to be clear, Sara's behavior is directly linked to my leadership.
- Then I should fire you... - Conrad exuded irony.
- But you won't.
- Look Gil... - He looks away from Grissom and seems to be looking for calm. - Uh... I've been in your shoes, we are human, we get attached to people... We try to solve their problems... It doesn't work!
- She's a great investigator, Conrad. And I need her.
- I imagine you do! - Conrad stands up and continues with a tone of debauchery. - You know what? She's unpredictable and dangerous. And she's all yours!
Conrad walks off, leaving Grissom and Catherine alone, his gaze frowning at the woman in front of him. No one in that place, not even he, ever tried to understand Sara. They were all CSI's and couldn't even figure out what had happened in the life of a colleague, who was with them every day, who probably spent more time together than with their families and no one had bothered to ask what was going on.
- You risked a lot for her, huh?
He didn't answer her. Sara hadn't told him anything other than that she had disrespected Catherine, but he had known the woman in front of him long enough to know how manipulative and even rude she could be with her words.
- I simply did what no one else in this lab did. I asked what happened. Sara is the person who tries hardest to contribute to everyone in here and no one, not her friends, nor I, have been able to listen to her. So, Catherine, I'm sorry if I've disappointed your expectations by not firing her.
He didn't wait for an answer, the woman's offended face was enough. The shift was over, the cases resolved, and at that moment he didn't want to think about any report. He was thinking about her, just like every day, the difference now was that he knew her more deeply and understood her pain. And he would not leave her alone.
- Grissom, are you going to fire Sara?
Greg was apprehensive, the look in his eyes showed his desperation.
- No, Greg, Sara's not going anywhere.
Grissom offered him a sideways smile, only as a sign of complicity, he was not happy. Perhaps pleased that he finally had the courage to fight for her, but not happy. Her voice telling him about her past made him feel a mixture of pride for the woman she had become, even with all the turbulence in her childhood, and a need to care for her that was tearing at his chest. He went into his office and picked up his briefcase. She needed to get out of that place as fast as she could. It was the first time he felt suffocated, he needed light and to breathe some air that didn't smell of ethyl alcohol. He was walking past the reception when he heard Nick calling him and coming running towards him.
- Sara will be back as soon as her days of suspension are over, Nick. I have to go.
The Texan watched the man walk away and couldn't even ask about his friend. Grissom walked quickly to his car before anyone else asked him about her. He didn't want to answer about her, he wanted to see her, support her and show her that he was there for her. He drove to a small bakery a few blocks down the street from her and bought some candy, which he knew she liked, and coffee. Maybe she would like to have a meal full of sugar since, chemically speaking, it would give her some kind of stimulation in her body. The drive to her building was quick, but the delay in getting out of the car and to her apartment was what slowed him down. His fingers drummed on the steering wheel until he plucked up the courage, set the coffees on the candy box, and walked up to her floor. He rang the doorbell and moistened his lips in anxiety at her delay.
- Grissom? - She looked surprised when opened the door. - What are you doing here?
- Can I come in? This time I didn't come empty-handed.
She merely moved to give him passage. Her eyebrows knit together as she watched her, perhaps ex, supervisor walk over to her desk and place what he had brought there. He turned to her and maintained a weak smile. Was he feeling sorry for her? No other questions could cross Sara's mind.
- I've been fired and you brought me candy and coffee so that I have something to consume while I cry? - She laughed when saw him frown and raise his eyebrow. - What happened, Grissom?
- I just brought us some food. - His tone was as if it was obvious. - I wasn't sure which you would like best, so I brought some that I like, and some that I've never had.
- You don't have to feel sorry for me for what I told you, Grissom.
He raised his eyes from the box, which he seemed to be craving a lot, and turned to Sara. There was definitely something in that look, but pity was not one of them.
- What exactly would I feel sorry for you for?
- I didn't tell you my story to make that happen. Maybe that was the reason I never told you, I don't want you to approach me out of pity, or because I'm bad, I'll be fine. I always am.
- You certainly won't see me doubting that you'll be fine, but I want to be here sharing sweets and coffee, which is probably cold by now. - He watched as she crossed her arms and her mouth opened and closed, but made no sound. - Can we eat? I'm starving.
She surrendered when he raised his eyebrows, she knew this meant she would be in trouble if she didn't follow what he was asking. The two sat facing each other. He offered her coffee and showed the pastries. He had gotten most of the ones she liked right, and the ones she had never eaten were also right. The two of them ate in silence, every now and then Sara felt herself being watched and looked at him, who did not disguise that he was looking at her.
- So, what do you do in your spare time?
- I don't do anything, Grissom. At most I read something, or catch up on what's new in the forensic world. You know it.
- Do you have any movies we can watch?
- Grissom, you don't have to do that, really, I am fine and very grateful that you kept my job.
- It wasn't me who kept it. You did.
- Of course you did, it's not like Ecklie would take it so easily.
- He even said you were all mine.
He had handpicked what to say about everything Conrad had said to him, but this part registered the most. She was all and completely his. The years had passed and he could still remember the warmth of her lips and her taste. How much had changed? He would like to find out. Grissom turned his gaze back to her and watched her white skin turn slightly pink, all the way to the tip of her nose. He reached up and raised his hand to caress her warm skin. Her brown eyes closed at the contact and he moved closer, his hand walking over to her never pulling her to him and hugging her tightly, as if to squeeze all her sadness out of her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and let herself relax in that caress, for a moment she just wanted to lose herself in his scent and in the memories that this embrace brought back from San Francisco, when she was just a girl full of questions. He kissed the top of her head and pulled away from her, very slowly almost afraid that losing that contact would destabilize him.
- So, do you or don't you have a movie for us to watch?
She smiled and went towards the shelf in the corner of the room. Grissom watched as she excitedly searched for a movie for the two of them. This was a reunion between the two of them that would lead to something he didn't want to name, he just wanted to enjoy the Sara Sidle he had met today and who knows, find out a lot more about the woman who was so present in his life and in his mind.