A/N: This fic is inspired by the songs Afraid by The Neighbourhood and I Hold You by CLANN

The villains quirk: The ability to make anything they touch within a certain amount of time explode.

A quirk that was both so similar and so different to my own and that thought painfully occurred to me when handprints that had been invisible a moment before glowed red seconds before exploding.

It had started off as such a simple task. Catch the villain who had just robbed a place and caused a car collision during their escape that had tied down Icy Hot outside and then fled into the nearest building. Endeavor wasn't here to scoop up the villain before the rest of us this time, away on a separate job, and we had been paired up with a sidekick to patrol the streets. Deku and I had been the only ones to rush in after the villain who had we glimpsed rounding a corner at the end of the expansive entry to the…. office building, I didn't know but there was a lot of people inside.

We rushed ahead, Deku moving faster than me as my explosions needed to be more limited indoors and I wasn't about to fill the place with smoke just to get from point A to point B faster when I could make it in under ten seconds with my legs. I didn't call after Deku to slow down or stop or wait, after working and living with him almost every day at school and then literally everyday at the number one hero's agency over the school holidays, after being with him almost 24/7 for weeks on end, I had faith in his abilities and trusted him. I held him in a new respect that I hadn't before. Not that I would ever let him know that though. He still needed to know his place from time to time.

Deku disappeared around the corner and seconds later I turned down it too, finding only a set of stairs leading downwards. I still wasn't sure what this building even was, and I hadn't thought office buildings would have a need for several basement floors, storage or parking lots maybe, but I jumped down past three flights of stairs to save time and burst through the door and into what I took to be a mostly empty parking lot with concrete pillars keeping the god knows how many tons of concrete and steel up.

Deku was on the villain already as the small, framed man squirmed under my green partner and I marched over there with a too pleased of grin for someone who hadn't caught the actual villain. Deku had a firm determined look on his face while he pinned the villain under him and when I reached him he face softened as he smiled up at me. I made a point of scowling back down at him.

Deku had shifted his attention from the villain to me for the smallest of moments, but it had been enough for the villain's squirming to free a hand and he slapped it against the concrete floor, snapping the attention of both of us back to him. We knew an action like that would be something quirk related.

"If I go down, you'll go down with me" hissed the villain almost triumphantly and where his hand was pressed glowed red and then everything happened at once. The initial explosion he had created right by him and Deku had blown me away and left me facing in the opposite direction. It was only then did I see the other handprints glowing all over the place. The pillars, the door way and probably all down the stairs, anywhere his hands had touched blew and my last concern had been if he had touched Deku with those hands.

I woke like taking a breath of air after being underwater for too long to find everything around me changed. The only light came from a flickering fluorescent that had survived on a wall by the now crumbled stairwell. Large slabs of concrete was littered around me from broken pillars and caved in ceilings and the air was still thick with dust that made breathing even harder. My head felt clouded, and my ears were ringing from the sound of multiple explosions that had echoes through the cavernous space and I staggered to my feet, shaking myself to bring back my senses. I checked myself over within seconds. Nothing felt broken which was good. My chest, head and ankle ached but I could still move and function so that was a passing mark in my book and then I turned, Deku rushing back to my mind. He had been right on top of the villains when he had blown.

I called out Deku's name as I clambered over chunks of concrete to reach where I had last seen him. The ringing in my ears was fading already but I didn't hear any reply. Finally I saw the colour green and I rushed to it. Deku was pinned under some rubble, but it was small enough to not crush him to death and I could shift it myself, but underneath Deku was still limp. A small pool of blood under his head. I came in close to feel for his pulse and breathing and let out a breath I hadn't known I had been holding when I felt both. I reached into the pockets on Deku's belt. The same red belt I had given him after getting into U.A – if he called it that. I called it giving. He would probably call it me throwing it at his face when I saw how lame his hero costume was on that first day.

I knew the nerd was always so prepared for shit like this, so I found the bandages and gauze I had been hoping for in those red pockets and quickly went about pressing the gauze to his bleeding head and wrapping the bandage around it tightly to hold it in place, his mop of green hair, now wet with his blood, sticking out on top like a true broccoli boy. I was sure he would have other injuries, but I couldn't see anything physically wrong with him other than his head which made a wave of relief wash over me that the villains hadn't managed to lay a hand on him, or things would have been much worse. I moved onto my next hunt for the villain, and I found him too. Dead. Under the rubble. There was nothing I could do about the suicidal bastard, so I left him there and went back to Deku.

I was starting to think that maybe I had hit my head worse than I originally thought because standing was starting to become a hassle. There had been a small amount of blood that had already dried at the back of my neck and matted my hair but compared to Deku it was a scratch. I slumped down against the rubble beside Deku's unconscious body with a long sigh.

I was disappointed with myself. I wanted to push myself to get up and start trying to dig us out, but I was painfully aware that my quirk would only make things worse and moving rubble could cause more damage. Who knows what the psycho had touched on his way through the lobby and the damage he had caused. As much as I hated it, my safest bet for Deku and myself was to wait it out and to be rescued. I really did hate that, but I couldn't find the energy to snarl about it. My head was throbbing and even sitting up was starting to make my vision blur.

I rearranged myself, clearing aware smaller pieces of rubble so I could at least lay flat on the ground, and I pulled Deku in closer to me, so his head was pressed to my side, and I kept an arm around him. If I lost consciousness too or simply dozed off from a head injury I wanted to be able to feel him move when he woke but sleep never came for me. Lying down was enough to clear my head a little and bring back my vision.

I felt a vibration in my pocket and pulled out my phone. Stupid me. I was so out of it that I even forgot I had my phone with me, and I was surprised to find there was reception this far down. It was Icy Hot and I answered the phone more politely than I usually would knowing it was the Half n' Half Bastard or really anyone.

"Yeah?" I asked gruffly

"You and Midoriya were inside that building, are you alright?" he asked and despite his usually flat tone I could actually hear the concern underneath it.

"Yeah," I replied, "Deku's hit his head that's about it" I told him flatly. I was just stating the facts and I had no energy to put into my words.

"And you?" he asked. Maybe I should have felt touched that he sounded just as concerned there, somewhere.

"Same, but not as bad"

"Is Midoriya conscious?"

"No" I heard him take in a breath and relayed the information to someone beside him. From the voice in the background I guessed the sidekick we had been put under for the day.

"And the villain?"

"Dead. Killed himself" I added just so he knew neither of us were to blame.

"Where are you both?" he asked after a pause.

"Parking lot. Third level down" I told him, "exits blocked" I added

"No water?" he asked. I hadn't even stopped to think about burst water lines. I hadn't seen any sign of water and I took a moment to listen for it. Nothing. Though I wouldn't trust my ears so much right now still.

"No"

"Good" sighed Icy Hot on the other end, "There is damage to the lobby too and some injuries, but help is on the way. We'll let them know you're there. Hang in there" he added and hung up. He never was one to waste time with unnecessary words and despite how much he ticked me off on a normal day, I actually liked that about him, unlike Deku who floundered his words and seemed like forever to get to the damn point.

I lifted my head to check on said nerd, but he hadn't moved. I pulled him closer, lifting him so his head was resting on my middle and his chest was pressed to my side so I could feel the rise and fall of his chest without trying too. His hands were down by his sides. I laid my head back down, even lifting it just that little was enough to make my vision blur again and make the complaining pain intensify.

I used my phone to keep track of the time and I estimated we had been down here ten minutes already. It wasn't till another fifteen or so minutes had passed when Deku finally moved. Not much but he curled his head against me with a groan and tried to bring his knees up, only to softly knee me in the process and then give up. His free arm came forward, landing on my middle in front of his nose harder than I would have liked as he let it drop heavily on me I made my own noise of complaint and that seemed to make him stir more.

"Kach-n" he tried quietly and untucked his head a little, lifting it up closer to my chest

"Yeah I'm here" I told him. He was quiet and still for a moment before his hand lifted lightly and trailed upwards towards my face. I lifted my own hand to take his and he relaxed a little and let his hand go limp in mine, reassured.

"I'm alright nerd" I told him calmly and let our hands lay on my chest and I just focused on his chest moving against me as silence fell again. I didn't know if Deku had lost consciousness again or was just being quiet.

"Oi, Deku" I spoke up after a while had passed and I squeezed his hand. He reacted with a moan.
"You should stay awake" I told him because the longer the silence dragged out, something that was so unnatural with Deku around, was starting to make me uncomfortable.

"Al'ight" he replied softly a few seconds to long after I had spoken, and I squeezed his hand again. Delayed response, slurred speech, weakness, drowsiness were all symptoms of a bad concussion. I knew I was showing symptoms too with a headache, blurred vision, fatigue but my injury was far less severe than Deku's.

"Talk about something. Anything" I told him while I stared up at the cracked concrete ceiling above us. I felt his head slide down a little again as he tried to curl in on himself, his knees bumped my leg again. He made a small hum as he thought, the gears in his head turning too slow. When he didn't say anything I asked him about what topic he was writing his essay on as part of our holiday homework and that seemed to bring his mind back to focus a little bit more. His speech was slow and slurred in parts, but it got him talking and I felt a little reassured that he was talking without stopping in typical nerd fashion. I could relax as long as he was talking. When he reached the end of his explanation I asked him about other homework just to keep him going. He cut his explanations shorter than he usually would and his responses and words started to come slower as he tired so I filled the silence with my own essay topic, and I would throw in a few questions so I could determine if he was still awake and listening by the small nods I could feel against me. It felt stupid but I kept going.

In a moment of silence I checked my phone. Forty minutes had passed since being trapped down here and I could hear the faint sounds of rubble being shifted far above. Who knew how much longer it would take for someone to reach us.

"You still awake?" I asked and received a small hand squeeze. I filled the space with talking, asking the occasional questions still to get frequent reactions of hums and hand squeezes and occasionally slurred words but they were coming weaker and less frequently as another twenty minutes passed and Deku started to tremble like he was cold, but he wasn't cold, his brain was just turning to mush.

I kept talking about anything. How working under Endeavor and living at the agency was. How All Might sucked at being a teacher most of the time. Dunce face's latest antic that had pissed off Aizawa. Thoughts I had on improving my own quirk. Hell, I even complimented Icy Hot's quirk just to get a reaction out of him. I kept vomiting up words just to keep him awake so I knew he was alright. I was so set on keeping him conscious that I ended up talking about the most stupid shit like Racoon Eyes trying to talk me into getting piercings, Sero trying to get me to read his manga and Shitty Hair failing at re-dying his hair and making the bathroom look like a murder scene. Finally Deku spoke up, interrupting my ranting, but I let him, and I felt his head shift up to my chest again, trying to see me and I lifted my head to look to him, but I couldn't see his eyes past his mess of hair hanging over the bandage.

"One. For. All" he spoke the words slowly like he was putting the extra effort in the getting it right and I knew where he was going.

"No" I said back and laid my head back down with annoyance.

"Kach'n" he whined seconds later

"I said no," I replied firmly, cutting him off before he could argue about it, "I'm not taking your damn quirk because you're not dying idiot" I felt his trembling hand squeeze my hand, but his grip was weak, and it pained me. I couldn't, wouldn't, think of it. Deku couldn't die from a pissy head injury of all things. I wouldn't allow it. He was my rival that spurred me on, my friend who had always supported me, who had seen me break down and cry and he was so much more. I squeezed his hand back more strongly with determination. He wasn't going to die so there was no point in talking about his stupid quirk like he was, and he didn't argue or push the topic again as we fell back into silence.

I knew I should keep talking to keep him awake but I was angry and rather than snapping at him I tried to keep it to myself and instead glared up at the cracked ceiling with a glare hard enough to cut and I could hear more rubble being shifted floors above, slightly closer and louder than earlier. Deku only needed to wait a little bit longer.

"Kacchan" he managed the name better this time and I squeezed his hand lightly to let him know I was listening, "I a'ways wanted t-"

"Shut up," I hissed and squeezed his hand tighter, warning him that he was making me angry, "you're not dying so enough with that shit" He was quiet for a moment more.

"I love you Kach'n" he spoke, deciding to ignore my warning, but this time my anger was washed away with those few words, and my grip on his hand faltered. I could almost picture his faint smile against my chest and his head rose as I took a deep shaky breath.

"Shut it nerd," I told him, but my voice held no anger to it, and I wondered if he could pick up my small smile through my words. He knew me so well I wouldn't have been surprised.
"I know that already" I told him and using my arm behind him, I pressed him closer to me and held him there. He made a small, pleasant hum in response and pressed his head against me firmly before relaxing again.

"Tell you what nerd, once you're out of the hospital I'll tell you something alright" I told him, and I felt him nod slowly against my chest and squeeze my hand again. I squeezed his hand back and let out a deep breath.

I picked up talking again. I didn't think I'd ever talked this much before in such a small amount of time. This time I talked about all the things Deku had said and done over the years that told me that he felt that way about me. The truth was, I hadn't known he felt that way about me. Admired me, yeah sure maybe, but love. That I hadn't expected, and I went on talking more to myself, replaying through the memories I had of him and picking each of them apart to see if I would have seen it sooner if I hadn't been so blinded with my hate towards him. Hate that he hadn't deserved. Every time I thought I picked out a moment where his feelings for me had shined through, and there were plenty of them back before middle school, I relayed the moment out to him to see if I was right. He responded with small hums as he trembled in waves beside me, but he was growing weaker still, struggling more and more to stay awake, his squeezes become barely noticeable.

"Hey, nerd, I need you to stay awake, okay?" a small hum in response and the smallest head movement. It had been over an hour now and the sounds of our rescuers were louder and closer still, I could hear faint voices as they called to each other, but I needed them here sooner

Another five minutes.

"I need you to stay awake for me Deku"

Ten minutes. I intertwined my fingers with his

"You still awake?"

Fifteen. I rubbed circles against the back of his hand with my thumb.

"Deku?"

Each time I got something no matter how small or quiet out of him and as he grew weaker I could feel my chest tightening with fear. I was losing him. I had told him he wasn't dying and told myself that I wasn't going to let him, but there was nothing I could do.

I could hear the voices of the rescuers and they were close, at our level on the other side of the caved in stairwell entry and I was torn between staying with Deku, afraid that if I moved that he would die or tearing away at the rubble on our side of the stairwell door despite the risk, to get him the help he needed sooner, faster. But I couldn't bring myself to move, to leave him. So I held him tighter, and he was cold and limp against me. Not dead but close to it. His body not even trembling anymore.

A minute more and I could hear the voices clearer now, hear their words as they shouted instructions to each other. Heard that they had a medical team waiting behind them.

"Oi, Deku?"

Nothing.

"Deku?"

Not a noise or a twitch.

"Oi!" I sat up, holding him close to me, shifting him so I could look down at him and I ignored the swimming inside my head from the sudden movement, but Deku was in my lap. His eyes closed. Unmoving. And I felt something inside me break. I moved into action as I rolled him off of me and onto his back. I kneeled beside him, positioned my hands over his chest and started CPR.

Chest compressions.

Chest compressions.

Chest compressions.

I counted thirty and then leaned in, tilting his head back, pinching his nose and breathed into him. Once. Twice. Three long deep breaths and then went back to pumping his chest. I heard the rubble by the stairs fall away and voices called out as they saw me kneeling over Deku's body and the medical team rushed forward, pushing me back and taking my place. My instincts wanted me to fight for him, to push them away and to protect him, but I knew that was stupid. I knew they were helping him better than I could as they pulled an oxygen mask with a hand pump attached out of their giant red bag and started to use it, the second pulling out more equipment to save him.

My body felt heavy and numb as I watched from the sidelines. Other people crowded around me, asking if I was alright but my head was swimming, and I could hardly make out their voices. Some one took my shoulders and pushed me to the ground, and I was surprised with the lack of fight I had in me to resist as I sat down heavily. Someone shone a light in my eyes, and they talked around me, but it was all a blur as I watched them working on Deku. It felt hard to breath.

Someone stepped in front, cutting off my line of sight on Deku on the ground and I lifted my wet eyes to see Icy Hot standing before me. I didn't know what he was thinking. I could never read his expressionless face and it wasn't till he squatted down in front of me to be at eye level that I saw that his eyes were wide with worry and fear. He placed a hand on my shoulder, and I didn't have it in me to swat it away

Deku lived.

The medics managed to resuscitate him and take him to the hospital where he had to have surgery but was deemed stable and not in need of any sort of life support to aid him which was good news though by the time we got above ground it was evening, his surgery finished around midnight, and no one was allowed to visit him until usual visiting hours in the morning, I was just relieved that he was alright.

I was kept at the hospital overnight due to my own concussion and was told I would most likely be able to get out the next day, but I didn't mind. It meant I could stay closer to Deku while everyone else had been ushered away for the night.

I had listened to instructions and stayed in my own bed in my own room and slept, but I woke up after a bad dream before dawn that left me needing to see Deku and to know he was alright with my own eyes. I was past the point of needing an IV drip, so I got up, dressed in a god awful scrubs and slippers they made patients wear, and crept out into the hallway, but at this time in the morning I didn't even glimpse a nurse as I found my way into Deku's room and gently closed the door behind me. I walked over to his bed in the gloom and just watched his chest rise and fall as he slept and felt my fears melt away. He was alright. But I couldn't bring myself to leave.

I pulled up a chair beside his bed and took one of his hands in mine, rubbing circles into the back of his hand lazily with a thumb until I felt calmer and then leaned forward to lay the side of my face against the bed as my mind raced.

Deku had confessed to me. Sure, he thought he was dying, and he had been, so he had said the words, but that didn't mean they were a lie. I knew well enough by now that Deku had never looked down on me, so I knew the nerd had been sincere when he had said the words. But how did I feel about it? That's what I felt I needed to figure out before he woke up and started questioning me about it. Though maybe I would get lucky, and he wouldn't remember, though I would still know and from here on out every rime he smiled my way I would know, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to feel that discomfort of knowing his secret every damn day while he was clueless that had ever revealed it. I groaned aloud with annoyance as I played with Deku's hand in mine just to keep myself busy while I tried to think.

And I did think about it. I thought about how our childhood relationship had withered away only to start to grow again. We still weren't as close as we had been as small brats, but it was alright wasn't it? I would call Deku my friend and despite how close I was to Shitty Hair, Deku was probably closer still. My closest friend. I had broken down in front of him and cried and revealed more of myself to him than anyone else and he knew me better than I knew myself sometimes, always predicting my moves in PE classes. It was an annoyance, but I also admired that about him., in a way. Deku had seen the worst of me and yet he still stayed by me.

Deku was someone special to me, I knew that much already. Our relationship was unique. He had been by my side for as long as I can remember. He was a constant in my life and the fear I had felt when he had stopped breathing had hit me harder than I would have thought possibly. The thought of not having Deku in my life and stung me so much I felt like I couldn't take in any more air. It was the reason I was beside him now.

Thinking about emotional shit was not my strong point so I pushed it from my mind as I dozed off beside his bed.

"Kacchan?" I woke to a groggy voice and lifted my head to see Deku looking to me with confused furrowed green brows. I was still holding his hand and quickly slid mine away from his. If he noticed he didn't look to it or say anything.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his drowsy green eyes blinking to try to focus on me better.

"Why wouldn't I be" I shot back with a neutral face, sitting up straight and stretching my back.

"That's what I'm asking," his voice came a little stronger and his brows furrowed further like he was annoyed at me.
"You don't even like me Kacchan, so why are you here?" he pushed, and my lips parted a fraction with my own confusion and my own brows creased.

"What, I thought you'd be happy to see me" I retorted, and I'd hate to admit it, but his words had stung.

"All you do is bully me, so why would I be happy to see you?" he spoke with a rasping voice back and my eyes were growing wider as he spoke, "I don't want you here. Your just here to make fun of me or something" I didn't understand. I knew head injuries could be difficult, but this was completely different to the Deku I had been living with, to the Deku I worked with. I stood.

"What school do we go to?" I asked and waited with bated breath. He narrowed his eyes at me like I had just asked him what colour my eyes were.

"Aldera" he replied with scrutiny and my breath caught. I pushed the chair back, turned and left, slamming the door behind me.