Damage control

by BHP

In episode 6 of season 2, 'Lie, cheat, steal, kill', we learn that Icepick has cancer and isn't planning to treat it. By the end of the season, he's changed his mind. Why?

Author's note: All the usual disclaimers apply – I don't own the show or the characters, only the words on this page. As always, I'd love to hear what you think.

This is set in Season 2, and refers to Icepick's revelation in episode 6 'Lie, cheat, steal, kill'. However, it follows on directly from 'Rebuilding'. It also refers to Season 1, episode 1 'I saw the sun rise'. But as usual with me, though, this story also refers to major events that happened in other episodes aside from these, from both seasons. There are also references to some of my other stories – the ones set in Season 1 and Season 2, as well as the ones set between the two seasons. And the title comes from a comment Magnum made to Katsumoto in 'Shared burdens'.

Damage control
by BHP

Today was such a good day.

Yesterday had been … bad. Bad? Try horrible, hideous, or just plain terrifying.

Thomas could have died. But he hadn't, and that made today a really good day.

Not that she'd tell him that, not in so many words. He was insufferable enough without letting him know just how much the thought of losing him scared her.

Juliet Higgins walked quietly past the couch in the guest house at Robin's Nest, coming to a halt just inside the glass sliding door to the lanai. She'd deliberately kept her approach silent, but she knew that Rick would pick up on her presence in just a few minutes. How he did it, she wasn't sure, but he always knew when any member of his 'ohana was nearby. He would simply say that he'd heard her coming, but she thought there was probably something more to it. A skill honed in darker times, most likely.

But that was a thought for another day, and she made good use of her few moments unobserved to survey the scene on the lanai of the guesthouse. Rick was standing at the edge of the paved area, staring out towards the sea, while TC was leaning against the wall beside the glass sliding door, arms crossed as he watched the fluffy white clouds scud by in the clear blue sky.

Both men were barefoot, wearing long shorts and loose t-shirts. She wondered whether they'd discussed the colour choice the night before, seeing as how they were both wearing sand-coloured shorts and shirts in similar shades of blue. She bit back a giggle at the idea that they'd planned the outfits, although she wouldn't have put it past the two of them to have done it just to put a smile on Magnum's face.

Anyone else would have thought that the two men were totally relaxed, but Higgins knew them well enough now to see the signs of hidden tension. And to notice how both men were keeping a very sharp eye on the other two men on the lanai, even without looking directly at them.

She shifted her gaze and let it linger on each man in turn.

Magnum was resting in a deck chair, also wearing long, sand-coloured shorts. She saw that Magnum's shirt was also a shade of blue – one that looked particularly good on him – and considered that perhaps the colour choices hadn't even been conscious. Perhaps all three men had gravitated to matching shades in an unconscious show of support for each other, family gathering in a time of need.

She caught a glimpse of her own reflection in the glass and surprise lit her face with a smile. Her capri trousers were beige and her top was covered in tiny blue flowers. Apparently, the family pull ran stronger than she'd realised.

Magnum was looking much better than he had the day before. She let her memory pull up her first view of him when Rick had pulled him from that collapsed barn on the coffee plantation the afternoon before, and compared that to the man in front of her now.

Yes, he was still slightly pale, and shadows under his eyes were proof of a lack of sleep brought about by TC waking him every few hours for a concussion check. But a few days of rest would take care of both of those issues. His movements all morning had been slow and careful, in deference to the broken ribs on his right side and the stitches in his left arm. The pain from the injuries showed in the slight tension in his shoulders and the tiny lines around his eyes.

Damn the man for not taking the painkillers. Again.

He'd also kept his sunglasses on all morning, which suggested that the bright morning sunshine had aggravated a lingering headache. But those same sunglasses now lay on the table where'd they'd all shared lunch, so perhaps the headache would soon be a thing of the past.

Gordon Katsumoto was lounging next to Magnum, a pose most unusual for the detective. Juliet couldn't remember ever seeing the man this relaxed and unguarded. Then again, the detective hadn't been quite as stubborn as Magnum – he'd been willing to take a half dose of his pain medication this morning – so drugs may have accounted for a small measure of his relaxation. She liked to think that the rest was due to being surrounded by friends.

Gordon was the only one wearing jeans and sneakers, along with shirt covered in a pale green-and-lemon leaf pattern. But that was most likely because those were the only clothes in the small bag of personal belongings that Rick had found in the trunk of Katsumoto's work car the previous evening.

The sling immobilising the detective's shoulder was still in place, which did surprise her. The man was easily as difficult to manage as Magnum when it came to obeying the instructions that Doc Milford had given the two men. She didn't know why she was surprised by that fact, but put it down to the fact that Katsumoto was such a by-the-book detective. She should have expected similar behaviour when faced with medical instructions.

But at least they'd managed to keep him at the estate overnight, where Rick had made it his personal mission to wake Gordon for regular concussion checks.

She wasn't sure how thankful the detective was, but after seeing TC lift their friend out of the rubble of that barn, she was certainly grateful. She didn't have so many friends that she could afford to lose one.

A quick scan showed that the detective had also discarded his sunglasses, so his headache was obviously easing off as well. So the last of her worry at taking him back to his home faded, knowing that he was indeed on the mend.

Rick flicked a glance her way, catching her eye and raising an eyebrow in a silent question. Less than one minute, and he'd spotted her. However did he do it?

She smiled in return and stepped out onto the lanai.

"Do try to stay out of trouble this afternoon, Magnum."

Juliet hid a smile at the splutter of indignation that followed her arch comment.

The man in question slowly eased himself upright in the chair, one arm protecting the broken ribs on his right side, and turned to face her.

"It wasn't my fault." Magnum's words rang with innocence. "You know it wasn't."

"I actually have to agree with him on that." Gordon Katsumoto didn't even try to hide his amusement. "Neither of us made that barn collapse."

"Thanks, Gordy." Magnum nodded at the detective, and Higgins narrowed her eyes as she watched his eyes tighten in renewed pain. But Rick and TC weren't worried, so she let it pass unremarked.

"What did I tell you about calling me that?" She swung her head to the side to see veiled amusement in the detective's eyes. The man was being just as careful in his movements as Magnum was, but that was only to be expected.

"I don't remember." Magnum grinned, looking for all the world like a mischievous toddler. "I think you said it was fine. But then again, a plank hit me on the head, so who knows?"

"I'll hit you on the head, if you're not careful." Gordon's comment was instant and sparked a round of laughter from everyone.

"Granted, that barn collapsing may not have been entirely your fault." Higgins conceded the point. "But I do not want to return here this afternoon and find a palm tree across the roof of the guest house."

"I think even he'd have trouble organising that, Jules." Rick laughed.

"I don't know." TC shook his head. "I think he could manage it if he really wanted to."

"Thanks for the support, TC." Magnum smiled at his friend. "But I'll think I'll give it a miss today."

"Good to hear." Juliet smiled at them all, then looked over at Katsumoto. "So, ready to go?"

"Yes." Katsumoto eased himself upright, taking a moment to get steady on his feet. Juliet knew what that felt like, trying to balance with one arm out of commission; not an easy thing to do.

"Are you sure?" She pinned the police detective with a hard stare. "There's plenty of room here if you'd like to stay longer."

"I'm sure." Katsumoto nodded once, smiling gently. "And I'll be fine."

"It's no trouble." Higgins said immediately. "Honestly."

"I know." Katsumoto agreed. "You've all told me that multiple times since yesterday afternoon. But I really do need to get home."

"You call if you need anything." Magnum was deadly serious now, tone commanding. Higgins caught the moment of surprise that flashed across Gordon's face.

"I will." The detective agreed, only to find Rick and TC both taking a step closer to him, eyes narrowing as they stared him down. "Okay, okay. I promise."

Both men immediately relaxed again, smiles growing on their faces.

"In that case, we'll check in on you tomorrow." Rick grinned.

"And we'll collect you next Friday for your appointment with Doc Milford." TC's statement made it clear that no arguments or excuses would be considered.

Higgins watched the emotions play across Katsumoto's face, so fast that she almost couldn't track them. But she saw the moment he accepted the inevitable, and conceded with a single nod.

"Okay." Katsumoto thought for a second, then spoke again. "Can we swing by the precinct? I need to ask someone to fetch my car and take it back to my place."

"Ah, no. Actually you don't." Rick scrubbed a hand over his hair, dropping his eyes for a moment. "I had Jules run me out to Island Hoppers this morning, and I drove it back to your place."

"You two were both asleep." TC added. "And I stayed here to keep an eye on you both."

That gave the detective a moment's pause, then he smiled his thanks. "In that case, I guess it's straight home instead."

"Indeed." Juliet smiled warmly at the detective, who headed inside to collect his bag. She tossed the other three men a sharp look, her gaze settling and lingering on Magnum for a long moment. "I'll see you gents a bit later."

"We'll be here." TC confirmed calmly.

With that steady confidence to reassure her, Higgins followed Katsumoto inside, sure that all would still be well when she returned.

MPI-MPI-MPI

"Rick, can you catch Higgins before they leave?" Magnum's question had Rick's head swinging towards him.

"Why? What's wrong?" The words were quick, a faint undertone of worry filtering through them.

"Nothing." Magnum waved a hand towards the nearby table. "Katsumoto left his sunglasses."

Rick smiled then, relaxing. He nodded and grabbed the shades from the table, heading after Higgins and the detective.

As soon as Rick was far enough away that Magnum could be sure his friend wouldn't hear his words, he turned to TC.

"TC. Have you seen it too?" Magnum wanted to be sure of what he was seeing – or thought he was seeing – before broaching the subject with Rick.

"I wondered if it was just me." TC agreed, moving to stand in front of Magnum and nodding solemnly. "He's been a bit … off … for a couple of days. I thought maybe it was just Icepick getting out."

"Yeah. Getting used to having him around all the time." Magnum nodded. "But now I'm not so sure. He's twitchy about something."

"He is." TC confirmed. "It's not quite the same as when we made him go to Clyde's the last time, but it's similar."

"Similar." Magnum mulled the thought over, wishing he could go out on the surf ski and row until all the ideas running wild in his brain would fall into place. He needed the water the way Rick needed the shooting range. "There's something bothering him. And for once, it's definitely not me. Not what happened yesterday."

TC stood silent for a long moment, eyes serious and worried. "So, what do we do?"

Magnum stared into space for a second, then offered TC a slight smile. "We get him to talk."

"Good luck with that." TC's snort of laughter filled the space, bringing a matching chuckle from Magnum.

"Good luck with what?" Rick's curious question preceded him onto the lanai. Magnum traded a glance with TC, seeing the unspoken agreement on the tall man's face.

"Getting you to agree to us going for a walk on the beach." Magnum sounded unconcerned, turning a faintly pleading look on Rick.

Rick ran a sharp and considering gaze over Magnum, lingering on the visible bruises and bandages, before meeting Magnum's gaze. Holding still for that examination was one of the hardest things for Magnum to do, but in this case, the end certainly justified the means.

"No going in the water." Rick was definite on that.

"Ankles?" Magnum had to push, knowing his friends expected it.

"Maybe." A grin flashed across Rick's face. "We'll see how steady you are. But you're definitely not going in the water with Jake."

"No way." TC agreed.

"Jake? And Lara? When are they coming? Did I know?" Magnum puzzled, worried that he'd forgotten something important. He was relieved when Rick spoke again.

"No, you didn't know. We ran into her yesterday, at the docks. Following Nick Stevens."

"Yeah, we were going to tell you," TC carried on, "but then you made life interesting again."

"I texted her this morning." Rick said. "Gave her a heads-up on what happened, and told her we'll have that barbecue on Sunday."

"Nice." Magnum smiled, thrilled at the thought of seeing Lara and Jake again. "I'll be fine by then."

"Not really." Rick disagreed. "But good enough that you can do everything except go in the water."

"And on that note … beach? Now?" Magnum turned on the pleading look, waiting until he could see Rick weakening.

"Okay, okay. Just a short walk." Rick finally nodded. "But nothing else. Jules will kill me if you do anything dumb and injure yourself again."

"So you're not scared of us, but you are scared of her?" TC teased, laughing. Magnum chuckled too, seeing the hidden amusement in Rick's eyes.

"And you're not?" Rick shot back, laughing when both Magnum and TC suddenly stopped laughing. "I thought so."

"Okay, we admit it." Magnum conceded. "She can be downright scary."

"Very scary." TC nodded.

"So, before she gets back …" Magnum eased himself carefully to his feet. "Beach."

He stepped off the lanai, noticing how Rick and TC took up matching positions, one on each side of him, as they ambled slowly to the beach.

Once they'd made it onto the beach, Magnum headed straight for the waves, walking slowly enough that Rick and TC knew what he was doing. When he'd walked far enough out that his feet were covered by the waves and he could feel his feet sinking into the wet sand, he stopped. TC crowded in closer, linking arms behind Magnum with Rick so that their joined arms supported the injured man.

"I'm fine, guys. Really."

"Sure you are." Rick agreed easily. "And we're just making sure you stay that way, by not getting knocked off your feet by a wave."

Magnum just grinned and let the comment pass unanswered. He let his eyes linger on the ocean, on the gentle movement of the deep blue waves and the soothing sound of the water spilling up the golden sand in a rush of foam.

He felt the faint tension, the worry about whatever was bothering Rick, draining out of him as he stared at the restless water. Five minutes later, now soaked to the knees by the rising waves, he turned and walked slowly up the beach to a spot that he knew was above the high tide zone.

His two friends followed and he grinned at their linked shadows on the sand. There was no dividing the edges of those silhouettes, just as he knew there was no way of splitting them apart. And even though he had no idea how he'd got so lucky, or what he'd done to deserve friends like them, he offered up thanks to whoever might be listening.

Carefully, slowly, he lowered himself to the sand, settling as comfortably as he could. TC immediately dropped down next to him, with Rick following a moment later. Magnum grinned when he noticed that they'd once again bracketed him when they sat down. He wasn't that fragile, and he was sure they knew it. But given how worried they'd looked yesterday, digging him out from under the rubble, he'd let the mother-hen behaviour slide this time.

Magnum hesitated for a moment, wondering how to start. Then figured he might as well just charge straight in and ask the hard questions.

"Rick, what's up?"

"What are you talking about?" Rick tried for nonchalance, brushing the question aside with a wave of his hand.

"We know something's up." TC's statement was quiet and firm.

"We can see it. Whatever it is, it's worrying you. Which means it's worrying us." Magnum reached out to lay a hand gently on Rick's shoulder. "And whatever it is, we'll help. You know that. But we can't do that if we don't know what's wrong."

Emotions shot across Rick's face, ranging from anger to sadness, then what looked like resignation to faint amusement. Magnum tracked every emotion, seeing how TC was doing the same from his spot next to Magnum.

"Should have figured you guys would know something was up." The amusement bled into the words, echoing the faint smile on Rick's face.

"So?" TC asked when nothing more was forthcoming.

Rick shook his head, speechless. Magnum was suddenly struck by the realisation that, for once in his life, Rick really had no idea what to say. That was actually frightening, because Rick always had something to say. Even when things had been at their very worst in the camp, Rick had been able to lift their spirits with some piece of wit, or sharp comment.

"Just say it, Rick." Magnum rested a hand on Rick's shoulder, feeling the tension lurking in those muscles.

"Icepick is dying." Rick got the words out in a rush, the pain in his eyes too much for Magnum to bear. He reached out and pulled Rick to him in a hug, feeling TC reach behind him to lay a warm hand on the back of Rick's neck.

"Brother, I am so sorry." TC spoke first, Magnum following a second later. "Rick, I just … I don't know what to say."

"How long?" TC asked quietly, and Magnum could feel Rick twitch at the question.

"Couple of months. Probably." Rick sighed and shook his head. "Lung cancer. Stage 4."

"How long have you known?" Magnum asked, keeping any trace of anger out of his voice. How could Rick not have told them something this important? "Are we going to have to talk again about you keeping things from us?"

"No." Rick's answer was immediate, and adamant. "This is nothing like that, I swear."

Magnum couldn't help but snort a disagreement, catching TC shaking his head as well.

"I was going to tell you both, honestly." Rick's concern was obvious, and Magnum tightened his grip on Rick's shoulder for a moment. Rick took a deep breath, then carried on, sounding calmer now.

"I only found out after he got out on parole. He didn't actually even tell me, not in so many words. But he was coughing up blood, and I asked Noelani to test it, and he found out …"

"So he told you." Magnum checked.

"More like … confirmed my guess. Then gave me the details." Rick suddenly relaxed next to Magnum, tension leaching out of him as he began to trace random patterns in the sand with his fingertips. His gaze was far out over the ocean, and Magnum's heart ached for him.

"That sucks." TC's simple comment covered layers of meaning, and Magnum nodded.

"Yeah, doesn't it just?" Rick murmured.

The silence closed around the three men, and Magnum let himself listen to the waves, hoping to find some peace in the sound.

"And before you ask again," Rick managed a laugh now, "I had every intention of telling you both. I just needed some time to get my head around the idea that … I'm going to lose him. Or to try to get my mind around the idea." Rick gave Magnum's shoulder a very gentle shove, laughing quietly for a second. "But then you had to go and have a barn fall on you!"

"So now it's my fault?" Magnum laughed, the humour coloured by relief that Rick hadn't meant to keep this from his brothers, hadn't intended to suffer on his own.

"Of course." Rick shot back, while TC capped the argument with, "Aren't most things your fault?"

"Thanks, guys. Way to make a guy feel wanted." Magnum played up the offended tone.

"I said most things, TM." TC answered. "That means good and bad."

"What he said." Rick agreed.

The humour faded in moments, leaving the mood sombre. For a while, they sat silently together, and then Magnum felt TC move, sitting just a bit more upright.

"So when does he start treatment?"

"He's not doing that. Says he's not going to fight it." Rick's answer was quiet, forlorn.

"Why not?" Magnum had to know.

"He says he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to lose his dignity. That it's the only thing he came out of prison with. That he doesn't want all the tubes and hospital business; people making a 'fuss' of him. That he wants to die on his own terms." Rick listed the things as though repeating a conversation he'd replayed a million times.

For a moment, Magnum wished that Ice was here, that the man could see and hear what his decision was doing to Rick. But that wouldn't help Rick, so Magnum forced his anger down and concentrated on his friend, his brother, and making sure that Rick knew he wasn't alone.

"We're here for you, brother." TC's response was rock solid.

"Thanks, TC."

"Whatever you need, any time." Magnum added.

"I hear you, Thomas. Thanks." Rick finally looked across at him, and Magnum could see the pain in his friend's eyes. And knew that it would only get worse.

"I'm not going to sugar coat it, Rick. Losing him is really going to hurt." Magnum thought about what he'd felt, learning his mom was gone. The devastation that had swept through him at the news. "Losing a parent always does, whether you know it's coming or not."

"You do know he's not actually my father, Thomas?" Magnum could hear the effort in the question, and knew what Rick was trying to do. And that it wouldn't help. So he asked another question instead, keeping his tone calm and unaffected.

"Am I your brother?"

"What the hell kind of question is that, Thomas?" Rick was furious and Magnum was glad to hear it. At least he knew he was making an impression. "You know you are."

"Then he's your dad." The conclusion was simple.

"He's right, Orville." TC was serious now.

"I know, damnit. I know." Rick's breath caught, and for just a second, Magnum could see how close to the surface the pain and tears lay. "It's just …"

"Easier to pretend that actual biology will make it hurt less." Magnum finished the sentence for Rick, leaning slightly towards Rick so that his shoulder brushed up against his friend.

"How'd you know?" Rick sighed.

"Nuzo."

That single word ended the conversation for long minutes.

Magnum thought it all over again, letting himself feel the anger he was harbouring towards Icepick for what this would do to Rick. Then he tried to see things from Ice's point of view, and slowly felt the anger fade away.

Eventually, he spoke again, turning to make sure Rick was not just listening, but truly hearing him.

"I get his decision, I guess. Maybe." Magnum paused a moment, then carried on. "The 'on his own terms' thing, at least."

"Yeah." TC agreed. "I can understand that. The dignity thing … not so much."

"I hear you on that, brother." Rick sounded tired now.

"Me too." Magnum nodded. "If we'd held out for dignity, back there – well, we wouldn't be here now, would we?"

"Nope." Rick nodded sadly. "But, it's what he wants. How can I even start to argue with him about it? I'm not the one who's dying. This isn't about me."

"Yes and no." Magnum intended to be fair here. "Yes, he's ill. But you're his family, so yeah, it is about you too."

"What you want does matter." TC's support was clear. "It will always matter."

"I want a miracle." Rick's laugh was filled with despair. "But I know it won't happen."

"Why not?" TC's question was honestly curious. "Anything can happen."

"Most people never even get one miracle in their lives, TC." Rick looked at his brother, eyes meeting for a moment. "What are the chances I'd get a second one?"

"A second one?" More curiosity filled TC's second question.

"We all made it back alive, TC. That was my miracle." Rick was certain. "Getting that one will be enough. It will always be enough."

"Yeah, I'll grant you that was a miracle, Rick." Magnum weighed in now, tone thoughtful and considering. "Nothing else. But who says it was your miracle? Maybe it was mine."

"Or mine." TC offered.

"Yeah, or Nuzo's." Magnum added on.

"Could have been any of ours. Or maybe just one for all of us." TC was following Magnum's lead, and Magnum caught the big man's eye and offered him a small nod of thanks.

"And who says there's a limit on miracles, anyway?" Magnum went on quietly. "Sometimes, for me … just waking up in the morning, seeing the sun rise, making it through another day, knowing you're both still here with me … that's a miracle. One that I'm more thankful for than I can say."

"He's got a point there, brother. Some days, I feel like that too." TC was definite in his agreement.

"I know. So do I. I guess I just … I want to hope, I do …" Rick's voice trailed off, words failing him.

"But you're afraid to." Magnum said. "In case it doesn't happen."

MPI-MPI-MPI

Rick's car eased through the gate, pausing for a long moment before pulling off and heading down the road towards Honolulu. Rick raised a hand in a wave to Magnum and TC as he drove away. Magnum lifted a hand in response, seeing TC do the same.

"Sometimes, life just …" Magnum's voice trailed off, and TC finished his sentence with one heartfelt word, "sucks."

"You said it." Magnum stared morosely at the empty road for a moment. Then he turned slowly to face TC, seeing his own sadness reflected in his friend's dark eyes. Somehow, knowing someone shared his misery didn't make it any less painful.

"You on your way as well?"

"Yeah." TC nodded. "I need to check some details for tomorrow morning's sunrise tour."

"Something special?" Magnum asked, hoping for a distraction from the terrible news Rick had just shared with them.

"Yeah." TC actually smiled, a genuine lightening of the atmosphere. "Young couple on honeymoon. Eric and Amy. Eric asked me to add a special flyover of the Pearl Harbour Memorial for Amy. Her grandfather served on the Arizona …"

"He died there?" Magnum guessed, sure that he knew where this story was going.

"No, actually." TC's answer brought Magnum up short. "He was at the base hospital when the Arizona was bombed. Collecting supplies."

"Lucky for him."

"I guess." TC shrugged one shoulder. "He heard the explosions, went back to the ship to help. Managed to save three sailors before he was injured himself."

"A miracle. Another one." Magnum offered, thinking of their conversation on the beach just an hour earlier.

"Yeah, it was." TC nodded. "Amy's grandfather received a Purple Heart. But he died a month before Amy and Eric got married. Her mom gave the medal to Eric, so that he could give it to Amy while they were here in Hawaii. He thought the best place to give it to her was over the Memorial. I think he's right."

"Yeah, he is. Sounds like a good man." Magnum managed a genuine smile this time, the story lifting his spirits enough to restore some of his equilibrium. "So you want to make sure everything's perfect."

"Least I can do." TC agreed, eyes suddenly fastened on the empty road outside Robin's Nest.

"Don't go there, TC. "Magnum reached out to rest a hand on TC's shoulder. "We're going to be there for him. Do what we can. And it's going to be enough."

"I hear you." TC sighed. Then he shook his head and turned to look at Magnum again, eyes doing a thorough scan. Magnum held still for it, even though he really wanted to tell TC to stop hovering. "But right now, you need to take it easy. Or Higgy will have my head."

Magnum laughed at that, still amused at the fact that all three of them were more afraid of Higgins losing her temper, than of almost anything else they could name.

"Okay, brother. I'll head back to the guest house as soon as you leave."

TC stared hard at him, eyes serious. Magnum met the gaze with calm acceptance. He knew that his friends worried about him as much as he worried about them. Maybe even more. Given everything they'd all survived, he supposed he could understand that. After a very long moment, TC nodded and patted Magnum gently on the shoulder. Then he turned to move towards the Island Hoppers van.

"I'll check in tomorrow, TM. And I'll see you Sunday for the barbecue."

"I'll be here." Magnum confirmed. "You'll bring Shammy." The statement was partly a question, and TC nodded.

"Yeah." After a second, he spoke again. "I'll let him know about Ice."

"Thanks. I wasn't looking forward to that." Magnum's relief coloured the words. TC nodded as Magnum carried on, tone more sombre now. "I'll make sure Juliet knows before the barbecue."

"Oh, man." TC actually flinched slightly. "I think I've got the easier half of this job."

"It's a toss-up. They're both going to hurt for him." Magnum shook his head. "But at least we can save Rick from having to repeat it over and over again, to everyone he knows."

"True." TC walked quickly to his van, then, voice floating back over his shoulder. "You look after yourself, brother. Stay safe." A faint note of amusement in the words suggested that Magnum would have trouble complying.

"Always, TC." Magnum laughed quietly. "And you, fly safe."

"You know it."

As the words lingered in the air, TC started the van and headed out, following the same road Rick had headed down fifteen minutes earlier.

Magnum stood silently for another minute, staring sightless at the road as the afternoon's events replayed in his mind. He ambled slowly across the lawn, letting the calm atmosphere of the quiet estate seep into his soul. Zeus and Apollo watched him pass, settled near the koi pond. Both dogs growled gently but, once again under orders from Higgins to leave Magnum alone until he was healed, neither animal rose to chase him. A fact for which he was truly grateful, as trying to outrun those two dogs while nursing broken ribs would be impossible.

He stepped onto the lanai of the guest house, then headed inside to where he slowly eased himself down onto the couch. The ribs were the source of most of his discomfort and now that he was alone, he was willing to concede that the pain was far sharper than he'd admitted to any of his friends.

The stitches in his arm itched, but that was easy enough to ignore. The ragged remains of the concussion-induced headache were also simple to disregard, something he achieved with the ease born of long experience.

But he really hated broken ribs. Waiting for them to heal was … limiting. He couldn't go out on the water, which was bad enough. But he also couldn't breathe easily, and the ache was incessant. That caused a host of other issues, too – exhaustion, a short temper, nightmares. The next few weeks weren't going to be fun.

But his pain paled into insignificance in the light of what Rick was facing.

Magnum sighed deeply, wincing at the ache threading through all the muscles of his chest. He desperately needed to be out on the water, to paddle until he could find a way through all the thoughts and emotions tumbling through his head.

But that wasn't possible.

Magnum sat for a while longer, staring out at the sky that was slowly sliding towards twilight. He concentrated on how the fading sunlight softened the edges of all the shadows, blurred the sharp edges of daylight, and how those same shadows were growing darker and thicker across the estate. All the brightness slowly leached out of the scenery, myriad shades of grey creeping in to fill the gaps. Given Icepick's situation, the irony was suddenly almost too much to face.

The need to move grew too strong to overrule and Magnum carefully got to his feet, his arms pressed over the broken ribs in silent support. When he felt steady enough, he started a slow wander across the lawn, heading almost unconsciously towards the sea.

Ten minutes later, he found himself at the edge of the sand, staring out over the beach. He watched the waves roll in, counting them without conscious thought, and enjoying the constancy of knowing that every seventh wave would be slightly bigger than the ones before it.

The nagging aches and tiredness had him forgetting caution, and stepping just far enough onto the sand that he could settle himself on the rocks that made up the edges of the seawall. Going any further would be truly foolish, and would surely make Higgins angry. Even though he enjoyed how their little verbal battles played out, he had no intention of starting one now.

He'd thought that he – and Gordon – were going to die the previous afternoon. When he'd first seen Juliet's face at that barn, as she and the guys had dug them out of the rubble, he'd seen the reality of the possibility of his death on her face too. So right now, he would do whatever was necessary to reassure her, and himself, that everything was fine.

But that didn't include staying away from the ocean completely. He needed that vast, open expanse of water too much for his own peace of mind. He just had to stay out of the water for at least a week or two. Until he could manage the surf ski again.

Just a week or two. By the water but not in it, or on it. Magnum laughed then, out loud, knowing that he was treading a very fine line with that distinction. "Splitting hairs." He murmured, seeing in his memory the expression on Juliet's face every time she'd accused him of doing just that.

A smile lingered on his face as the sun slowly slipped into the sea, taking all the light with it and leaving only shadows and memories in its wake.

As though thinking of Higgins had been enough to make her appear, he heard the faint sound of her car in the driveway, returning after taking Katsumoto home. Scant minutes later, the sensation of being watched crept over him, raising a chill across his skin.

"Relax, you idiot." His quiet mutter made him laugh at himself. "You know it's just Higgy."

He turned his head just enough to confirm that she was standing at the edge of the lanai of the main house, watching him. Even from that distance, the concern radiating from her solitary figure was obvious.

On any other day, he would have appreciated it. Maybe even played up being injured, just enough to get her to come down and join him. Keep him company, take his mind off his aches and worries. But today … today, he needed to be alone. To think. To come to terms with the pain Rick was going to feel, very soon. Figure out what he could do to help his brother.

And of course, he needed to figure out how he was going to tell Juliet.

Although that was something he had hoped he could leave for another day. Tomorrow, rather than now. But he'd learned long ago that you didn't always get to choose your own time to deal with whatever trouble came your way. You simply had to deal with whatever the universe sent you … on the universe's timetable.

He took a deep breath, then eased himself to his feet and turned to face his friend.

Only to find himself being offered unexpected grace. Higgins stared back at him for a long moment, then gently shook her head. A small, quiet smile grew on her face, and her voice floated through the dusk to him. "Don't stay out there all night, Thomas."

A faint matching smile grew on his face. He raised a hand to acknowledge her concern, and the gift she'd just – all unknowing – offered him. She nodded once, and he watched as she turned and headed deeper into the main house.

MPI-MPI-MPI

Juliet Higgins sneaked a sideways glance at her passenger, only to find that Gordon Katsumoto was looking right back at her, a tiny smile on his face.

"I'm fine, really." The words were hardly reassuring, in light of the sling and the bruises on the man's face.

"Forgive me for not being convinced." Juliet's tone was amused, a contrast to the sharp-sounding words.

"Forgiven." Gordon grinned. "I'm not Magnum. I do actually know my limits."

"Well, as you Americans like to say, the jury's still out on that." Higgins laughed. "But if you don't look any worse for wear when you arrive at the barbecue on Sunday, I will be far more inclined to trust you on that in future."

"Barbecue?" Katsumoto sounded surprised. "That's a family thing, isn't it?"

"Your point?" Juliet's question was cool, almost disinterested, but the look she landed on the detective was anything but.

"Family only. At least, that's what I thought."

"Perhaps we should have Doctor Milford check you for a more serious head injury." Higgins offered with a very faint smile, before carrying on. "I know exactly what Sunday's barbecue is, and I am very sure of who I just invited."

She let that sink in, watching emotions play across the detective's face and wondering if he was always this easy to read. Or whether she had just learned to see past the cool and permanently unruffled façade that the rest of the world never tried to look beyond.

Either way, she wasn't letting this go. Not until the man recognised what was right in front of him. And admitted it.

Long moments later, she flicked another glance to the side and saw Katsumoto staring out the window, clearly contemplating the conversation. Instinct held back anything more she wanted to say, telling her that pushing the detective now would be unwelcome. She settled her eyes back on the road and waited.

A rustle of cloth and a gentle sigh broke the silence.

"Thank you for the invitation." The words were formal, but the tone was warmer than she'd ever heard from the man before. "I would be honoured to accept it."

The sudden rush of emotion – relief, happiness, joy, even – was unexpected. Trust the detective to realise that the invitation was for more than just a meal. And to know just how best to answer it. Juliet blinked hard for a few seconds, then turned a happy smile on her passenger.

"Someone will collect you on Sunday morning. I'm not sure who, yet …"

"I can drive myself, you know."

"Of course, you could. But there is the shoulder, and the sling." Her tone included the unspoken 'and you're family', but the man clearly understood the undertone.

The grin was honest and amused, and he gave in after only a moment's hesitation.

"Thanks."

"Only a pleasure."

The rest of the journey passed quietly, and Higgins made a point of ensuring that Katsumoto had everything he needed before she finally headed back to the estate.

Twilight was creeping in, lengthening the shadows across the coastal road and leaching the colour out of day. She sharpened her attention, following the curving road with care, and turning into Robin's Nest just as the sun dropped low enough to touch the horizon.

The estate was quiet, and a quick glance confirmed that both Rick and TC had left. Which meant that Magnum was on his own, and no doubt looking for some way to get into trouble. She couldn't stop the snort of laughter that bubbled up. To be fair, the man didn't always go looking for trouble; sometimes it came looking for him, instead.

She headed into the house, looping through her office to drop the car keys on the desk. The guest house was shrouded in darkness, only the one dim light on the lanai shining through the growing darkness.

She walked past the koi pond, and felt a faint chill run over her skin. Memories of that night rose up sharply, and for a moment she couldn't breathe through the water covering her face. She stopped and forced herself to take a deep breath. Then she deliberately replaced that moment with other memories – of Thomas looking after her when she got ill, of Rick and TC supporting her, of knowing that she had a family, her own 'ohana.

Basking in that warmth, she walked to the edge of the lanai and looked out over the estate, eyes roving along the beach and sea wall. If Magnum wasn't in the guest house, she just knew that he would be down there.

For a moment, she saw only the sea and growing darkness. Then her eyes picked out the larger shadow, and identified Magnum resting on the end of the sea wall, feet buried in the beach sand. She sighed and shook her head. He shouldn't be there alone, even if he did keep insisting that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. Perhaps she would go down there, keep him company for a few minutes, and make sure he was safely ensconced in the guest house before she set the alarms for the evening.

As if thinking of him had been enough to attract Magnum's attention, she saw him shift slightly, before settling again. Instinct – the same instinct that had suggested she wait for Katsumoto to speak earlier – prickled across her back, and she froze at the edge of the paving.

There was something … off … about her friend. An air of sadness, maybe. Or maybe despair, or possibly even a faint, underlying anger.

Instinct had kept her alive more times than she could count. She'd learned to rely on it, and trust it. And right now, it was screaming that Magnum needed to be alone; that he might look like he needed company, but he really needed solitude.

She could give him that. Within reason, of course. If this odd behaviour hadn't sorted itself out by the next afternoon, she would get answers out of him herself. Whether he wanted to talk about it or not. After all, he'd been there when she needed him. He always seemed to be there when she needed him, even if she didn't like to admit it.

So she would be there for him, make sure he had what he needed. Right now, it appeared that he need to be alone. She would respect that. For now. Tomorrow afternoon, all bets were off. That thought put a smile on her face. She shook her head as she called out to him.

"Don't stay out there all night, Thomas."

She couldn't be sure, but she thought he was smiling as he raised a hand to acknowledge her words.

She turned to head inside and clicked her fingers to call Zeus and Apollo to her side.

"Watch him for me, lads." Gently, she scratched between two sets of sharply-pricked ears. "Fetch me if he needs me."

MPI-MPI-MPI

The sun was barely peeking over the distant, dark grey line of the horizon, but Magnum was already up and dressed. He'd slept badly, woken every time he moved by the pain from the broken ribs. And given that he'd been shifting around a lot, trying to find a comfortable position, even the poor sleep he had managed to get hadn't lasted long.

So eventually, he'd given up on the idea of sleep and just spent the last hours before dawn on the lanai, settled in a deck chair, staring out at the darkness. Then he'd had to concede that his eyes felt gritty, his mind sluggish. So he'd taken a slow walk to the shower, followed by what felt like an age to manage getting dressed. He'd settled on a blue-and white shirt patterned with palm leaves, soft jeans and shoes that didn't involve bending down to tie laces.

His next stop had been the coffee machine, and two cups later, he'd finally started to feel more like a human being again.

Now the sun was making an appearance, gilding the ocean and warming the air. Perfect weather for being out on the surf ski. He could hear Juliet's comments on that idea as clearly as if she were standing next to him. He laughed when he pictured the exasperated expression on her face, then nodded.

"You win, Higgy." She'd probably have something to say about him losing his mind if she heard him talking to himself. But she wasn't there, so, "I'll stay out of the water."

But that was as far as he was willing to commit himself. There was just no way to sort out everything swirling around in his head without moving.

Jogging was clearly out of the question as well. Just walking around was enough to tell him that his head was not up to any sudden movements. The headache might have faded, but he could sense it lurking and waiting to pounce again.

So that left walking.

Five minutes later, he kicked his shoes off at the edge of the lawn and stepped onto the beach. The sand was still cool under his feet, and the waves were just a quiet murmur of sound. Magnum looked left and right, wondering which way to go. The sun glistened on a pile of rocks half-buried in the sand far up the beach on his left, and without a second thought, he started to walk in that direction.

He walked for what seemed like hours, although he knew it could only have been a half hour at most. The sand slowly warmed under his feet as the sun rose higher in the sky. By the time he'd reached the rocks, he'd managed to bring some order to the mass of thoughts plaguing him.

He settled on one of the rocks, letting the sounds of the waves and a pair of raucous seagulls distract him for a moment. Then he started plotting a plan of action.

Forty minutes later, satisfied that he'd covered most contingencies, he eased himself back to his feet and ambled back towards Robin's Nest.

He was going to find Icepick and take the man to lunch. Somewhere off the beaten track, where the owner wouldn't ever mention his visit to the guys. So definitely not Kamekona's shrimp truck. The food might be good, but five minutes after he got there, Rick and TC would know.

They would be really upset if they knew what he was planning, but for different reasons. Rick would be upset that he'd tried in the first place, considering what he'd told them about Icepick's plans.

TC would be upset at being excluded, because Magnum knew that TC would have loved to give Icepick his opinion on the man's decision. But Magnum didn't want to involve anyone else. If Icepick changed his mind, it would be because the man loved Rick. And that was all Rick needed to know.

He remembered the look on Rick's face the night before, the pain in his friend's voice, and it only made him more determined to carry out his plan.

He didn't rate his chances of success very highly, honestly, but he figured he had to try. Maybe nothing he said would make a difference, but there was always the faint hope that something he said would make Icepick think again.

A fool's errand, but it was a beautiful day, and he couldn't deny that he felt … hopeful.

By the time he stepped onto the lawn and looked towards the main house, he could already sense that the property was deserted. For a moment, he wondered why; then he remembered Higgins telling him that she and Kumu would be heading into Honolulu this morning to collect an artefact that Robin had purchased for the cultural centre. There was some sort of issue at the Customs Office that they needed to deal with, and Higgins had been very clear that whatever problem existed did not have its basis in any of her paperwork.

A grin lit his face and he mentally wished the clerk at the Customs Office the best of luck. Higgins could be frightening enough to cope with, but Kumu would likely scare the poor guy out of a decade of his life. The fact that Kumu looked sweet and harmless only made her more terrifying when you got on the wrong side of an argument with her.

He headed into the guest house, collected his wallet and the keys to the Ferrari. Higgins might not want him to drive – okay, even Doc Milford had suggested not driving – but he knew his body's limits. Although he was willing to admit, to himself, that driving today would be awkward. But he knew he could manage it.

As he lowered himself into the seat of the car and keyed the ignition, twin growls caught his attention. Zeus and Apollo stood sentry at the side of the driveway, dark eyes fixed on him. He would bet good money that Higgins had told the dogs to watch him. So he stopped the car next to them, and offered "I'm okay, guys."

Two disbelieving sets of eyes stared back at him, the look almost identical to the one Higgins used when she didn't believe him either. The chuckle slipped out before he could stop it. Now he was talking to the velociraptors and expecting them to understand him. Maybe he'd hit his head harder than he'd thought.

"Tell Higgy I'll be back later."

Then he slowly drove through the gate, watched as it closed behind him, and turned onto the road to Honolulu.

It didn't take him long to reach Rick's place, and he was relieved to see that his friend's car wasn't there. Rick was surely already at La Mariana, just as he was every other Saturday; it was the busiest day of the week.

He eased himself upright and looked around. Luck was on his side, because Icepick was heading his way down the sidewalk. He waited until the other man came closer, scanning him carefully as he approached.

Icepick looked pretty much like any other man his age, dressed in jeans and a plain green shirt, comfortable-looking sneakers on his feet. With the knowledge of what Rick had told them, he could see the faint signs of illness in the slightly gaunt features. But without that knowledge, anyone else would simply think that Icepick was an … angular … man.

"Hey, Icepick."

"Magnum." The tone was a little too bland to be true, and Magnum could sense Icepick's hidden curiosity.

"Thomas." He offered. "Rick always calls me Thomas."

"Yeah, I know." Icepick nodded. "I just didn't want to … overstep."

"You're not." Magnum shook his head.

"In that case," Icepick smiled, "Rick usually calls me Ice."

"I know." Magnum agreed. "But I didn't want to overstep, either."

That surprised a genuine laugh from the older man. "We're quite the pair." Then he did a survey of Magnum, eyes roving over the younger man in a way that left Magnum feeling that he'd been seen and understood quite thoroughly. "Although from what Rick said, I didn't expect to see you out and about today."

"Had something important to do." Magnum grinned as he said it, watching Ice's eyes narrow.

"Then why are you here?" The tone was now openly curious.

"To take you to lunch."

"That's your something important?" Disbelief shone through the words.

"Yup." Magnum simply nodded, then waved a hand towards the Ferrari. "So, want to hop in and go get lunch?"

Long moments passed in silence, then Icepick grinned. "Why not?" A few seconds later, the older man was settling into the passenger seat of the car and running his hands over the leather seats. "Nice. Very nice."

Magnum started the engine and headed into the back streets of Honolulu, well away from the tourist areas. When he finally parked the car, Icepick stared around, truly puzzled. "Where are we going?"

Magnum eased himself out of the car, then pointed down the block to a small diner tucked between two other shops. "There."

The sidewalk was full of people, and they weaved their way across to the small, nondescript diner. Magnum pushed open the door and waited for Icepick to enter, then followed behind him. The first impression was one of colour and sound. The diner was busy, clients at tables and at the counter. Icepick froze for a second, and Magnum could sense the other man's momentary shock at how different the inside of the diner was, compared to the bland outside appearance.

"This place is full." Icepick murmured.

"Good food. But also not a problem." Magnum barely had time to answer, before a voice broke through the background hum of sound.

"Thomas. Keiki!"

Then a short, plump woman with a beautiful smile rushed across the room towards them, coming to a sudden halt when she saw the bandage on Magnum's arm and the bruises on his face.

"Not again." She shook her head. "What else?"

"Couple of broken ribs, Alani." Magnum admitted sheepishly, holding his arm against the injured side. Alani gently folded him into a hug and for just a moment, he soaked up the feeling of being mothered.

Alani grabbed his hand and pulled him towards a back corner of the diner, past the main crowd of people. The noise level dropped as they rounded the end of the one serving counter, and then Alani pulled out the chairs at a tiny table tucked into a corner.

"Sit. Sit." She fussed around him for another moment, then turned serious eyes on Icepick. "A friend of yours?"

"He is." Magnum confirmed.

"Then he is a friend of ours." Alani nodded once, as though she had settled everything. One hand settled on Icepick's shoulder for a moment, a welcoming movement. "I will go and tell Kanoa that you are here. You want lunch, yes?"

"Yes." Magnum nodded.

"You." Alani pointed at Magnum, a wicked grin on her face, "Chicken noodle?"

Magnum burst out laughing, pulling his arm tighter against his ribs to brace them against the humour. "I hate to be predictable, but in this case, yes, please!"

"Chicken noodle?" Icepick sounded beyond confused.

"Best thing to cure anything that's wrong with you." Magnum explained.

Alani nodded. "Every time he gets like this," she waved a hand to indicate Magnum's injuries, "he comes here for chicken noodle."

"And every time, I feel better." Magnum's words were soft, quiet.

"In that case," Icepick spoke slowly, "make that two."

Alani stared hard at the older man for a moment, then turned her eyes on Magnum, a silent question there. He tipped his head in answer and she nodded slowly. Then she smiled again, lighting the corner of the room with her joy. "I'll be right back."

Magnum watched as Icepick scanned the inside of the diner, his gaze lingering on the family seated at a table near the window. Magnum shot a glance in that direction and could see the fascination; two children chattering happily, a slightly frazzled pair of parents, and what could only be two sets of grandparents. Everything he had always wanted himself. And based on the look on Icepick's face, something he had once wanted as well.

Maybe his plan wasn't such a long shot after all.

"Nice place." Icepick offered quietly, eyes still on the family.

"Yeah. Nice people, too." That caught Ice's attention, and he shot a sharp glance across the table. Magnum nodded. "Nothing said here will get back to Rick."

"Good to know." Ice nodded his thanks.

Alani appeared around the counter, Kanoa trailing behind her with two bowls of steaming soup. After a few moments of greetings and catching up on events of the last few weeks, the chef and his wife disappeared around the corner again, leaving the two men alone.

Without wasting a moment, Magnum dug into the soup. It was just as good as he remembered, if not better. Icepick stared at him for a moment, bemused, then simply followed his example.

When the bowl was empty, Magnum settled back in his chair and took a deep breath.

"Rick gave us the news last night." He met Ice's eyes and finished softly. "About the cancer."

"I should have known." Ice shook his head. "None of you boys can keep a secret."

"Not true." Magnum actually laughed at the idea. "There's plenty of things we all keep to ourselves. But stuff about family – not so much."

"Family?" The tone was stunned.

"That's what I said." Magnum waited while all the implications of that word sunk in for Icepick. "I hear you don't plan to treat it. That you don't want to lose your dignity."

"You hear?" The arched eyebrow reinforced the tone.

"I do." Magnum nodded.

Icepick stared at him for a long moment, then leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I didn't ask for this."

"No-one does." The words were heartfelt and Magnum watched as Icepick considered the undertone.

"What do you mean?"

"Rick didn't ask for what happened to him. Over there." Magnum flicked a hand to indicate a place far from the diner. "None of us did. When we were captured, we lost our freedom, sure. But that wasn't all. We lost a whole lot more, and dignity was right up there with the rest of the casualties. Smack bang in the front line. But that's what happens in a war."

Magnum leaned back, took a deep breath and tried to be patient. This was too important to rush.

"This isn't a war. It's a disease." Icepick scoffed.

Magnum lifted one eyebrow, then took a moment to choose his words.

"It is a war. For you." He shrugged one shoulder. "And you didn't choose it any more than we chose what happened to us."

That silenced the older man for a minute. Magnum looked down to find his fingers tracing patterns on the tabletop. An unconscious reflex. Maybe he was more worried about how this would go than he was willing to admit.

"So what do you expect me to do?" The question wasn't combative, but rather truly interested.

"Nothing. I have absolutely no expectations." Which was actually true. He had hopes, but that wasn't the same thing.

"But you have an opinion." The humour was dark, but present.

"Sure I do." The laugh broke through. "Everyone does."

Icepick nodded and laughed as well. "So what is this opinion that you have?"

"You fight anyway."

"Come again?" Amazed would be too mild a word for Ice's question.

"What happened to us … It was terrible, painful, undignified. Sometimes – most times – downright terrifying." Magnum kept his words quiet, intending them for Icepick only.

"Rick's never given me any details." There was curiosity there, along with reluctance. Magnum understood that. Once you'd heard everything, it became a burden you could never put down. And Rick would never voluntarily burden someone else with his problems.

"He wouldn't. You know Rick."

"I do." There was pride in that statement. Which made his next words a little easier to say.

"Just so you know … sometimes it's still terrifying. Some nights …" His voice faded, and he took another deep breath to continue. "There's nothing dignified about a grown man screaming at all hours of the night, or crying like a baby. Huddling in a corner of his room, arms wrapped around himself. Begging …"

MPI-MPI-MPI

Nuzo was dead.

Magnum lay in the dark and wished … wished that Nuzo was still alive, wished that he could see something other than his friend's body in the back of that ambulance, wished for the oblivion of sleep.

But tonight, sleep wouldn't come.

Just as it hadn't come for the last week. Not really. Screaming nightmares didn't truly count as sleep, even if he wasn't awake when they happened.

He checked his watch. Midnight. A time he'd become very familiar with over the last week, as he'd seen that same hour pass every night.

Maybe, probably, sleep wasn't something he deserved. Nuzo was dead, and it was his fault. He'd been too slow, too unprepared – and Nuzo had paid the price.

He needed to do better, be better. Rick and TC had come over earlier, and he'd seen the fear in their eyes. He'd seen them watching him, knew that they were worried about him failing again. Failing them. Just like he'd failed Nuzo.

They deserved better; they deserved his best.

With that thought in mind, he got up, put on workout clothes and running shoes, and headed out to the beach. He needed to be better, and that could start with more conditioning. And perhaps he could tire himself out enough to sleep.

He ran miles down the dark beach, completely alone, until he couldn't catch his breath. Finally, chest heaving, he stumbled to a halt. Then he turned and began to retrace his path, walking until he felt less winded, then speeding up into a jog until Robin's Nest came back into view.

The dawn was still hours away. Even the two hellhounds were asleep. Although if they had been awake to chase him, he wasn't sure he'd have tried to get away. He had nothing left to fight with, no energy left to use. As far as punishment went, even the dogs catching him wouldn't be harsh enough.

Magnum stumbled inside, took a hot shower, then pulled on shorts and a t-shirt to try to trap the warmth on his skin. He headed back to bed, eyelids drooping shut, hoping that this time he'd be able to doze off. He rolled onto the mattress and wasn't even aware of falling asleep.

Pain woke him.

Fire burned through his side, a blazing agony that he'd felt before. He screamed, arms flailing weakly as he tried to escape the sensation, the hands holding him down. But the pain only increased.

His head fell back, and his consciousness started to fade out. He reached out for the welcome darkness, hoping it would drag him under.

But instead of oblivion, he found his eyes wide open, staring down at the figure on the ground in front of him. A shock of recognition ran through him as he saw himself as he'd been that day in the camp, when he'd been convinced that he would bleed out. The burning pain was gunpowder, Nuzo's last ditch attempt to save Magnum's life. The hands restraining him belonged to his brother.

But when his eyes ran up the writhing figure on the floor, it wasn't his face he saw there. The face he saw belonged … to Nuzo. And the body was suddenly still, that face lifeless, as he'd seen it last in that ambulance.

He stared in horror as Nuzo's eyes suddenly opened, gaze boring into him. The look in his brother's eyes didn't need translating – the disappointment there was clear.

Nuzo's death was Magnum's fault.

Magnum shot upright in his bed, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Tried to banish the nightmare, and remember where he was. But that just reinforced the fact that Nuzo really was gone, which was a waking, endless nightmare.

He scrubbed his hands over his eyes, sucking in a deep breath and willing himself to relax. Looking at his watch, he realised that he'd only been asleep for half an hour. He flopped back onto the rumpled bed and sighed. So much for sleep. Well, sleep was overrated anyway. But his body had other plans, and although he fought it, his eyes slowly closed again.

Forty minutes later, he sucked in another breath and shook his head to shift the same nightmare. Nothing worked, though, and the image of Nuzo's disappointed face lingered in his mind.

Exhaustion tugged at him and he fought it. Knowing Nuzo was disappointed in him was bad enough; he certainly didn't need to see it again. But inevitably, his eyes slowly fell shut again.

This time, the nightmare was different. He was vaguely aware that what he was seeing wasn't real, wasn't actually happening, but he couldn't force himself to wake up. Then the idea of moving crept into his mind, getting away from the situation physically.

He dug his heels into the dirt floor, trying to find some purchase, but the surface shifted under his feet. He fingers scrabbled in the sand for something to hold onto, something to push against, but the surface was too smooth. He flung his arms wide, hoping to find a solid point of reference. His perspective lurched, dropped, and something hit him in the side.

He scuttled backwards, instinct driving him to flee. His back hit something solid, and he shuffled along until he felt something hard at his side. Walls, his mind supplied. A defensible corner. He pushed himself as far into the corner as he could, wrapped his arms around himself. Tried to bite back the screams.

Hands grabbed him, fought against him, tried to hold him down. He fought harder, striking out with the skill born of years of training, desperate to be free. His fist struck something, hard, and a sudden yell of pain penetrated the fog in his brain.

His eyes shot open, blinking in the dimly lit room.

Where was the dirt floor? Why was there light? Who was holding him down?

The strong hands remained on his shoulders, but now he could make out a quiet voice as well.

"Thomas." He knew that voice.

"Thomas. Can you hear me?" The quiet words continued, while the hand on his shoulder squeezed gently. "It's Rick. And TC." The hands on his arms tightened then.

He kept his eyes open, forced them to focus on the two worried faces looking down at him.

"What? Why are you here?" He managed to get the words out past his gasping breaths.

"Why are we here?" Rick sounded confused. "Where else would we be?"

"Not here." Magnum shook his head. "Not with me."

"You'll have to explain that one to me, brother." TC's voice was a deep, soothing rumble. "You're not making any sense."

"I saw you, earlier." Magnum forced the words out. "The way you're watching me. Afraid. Waiting for me to screw up. Fail you. Like I failed …" His voice died, and he wrapped his arms tighter round himself.

"Yeah, we were watching you." TC admitted.

"But not because we're afraid of you, you idiot.' Rick sounded offended at the thought. "We're afraid for you. You're not eating. You're not sleeping."

"How – ?"

"How do I know?" Rick cut him off. "I have eyes. You push food around the plate without actually putting any of it in your mouth. The shadows under your eyes get darker every day."

"What's going on?" TC asked.

Magnum shook his head, unable to put his thoughts into words. If he'd been more rested, he'd have seen the signs of sleep deprivation for himself.

"Come on." Rick tugged gently on his arm. "You can't spend the night here. Let's get you back to bed."

"No!" That much Magnum could manage. Lying in that bed simply meant another nightmare.

"TC, help me get him up." Rick simply ignored him. "He needs to move."

"Sure." TC just raised Magnum up, wrapping one arm around him to support him when he was back on his feet. "Lounge?"

"Sounds good." Rick agreed, grabbing a blanket from the bed as they headed through the house. Moments later, Magnum felt himself lowered onto the couch. The blanket was gently draped over him, tucked in loosely. Rick and TC took up positions on each side of him.

"Now," Rick's tone was decisive, "we're sorting this out. Let's start with who you've failed."

Magnum shook his head, too tired to do more.

"Nuzo?" TC guessed, and Magnum flinched at the name.

"He's gone." Magnum choked the words out, tears building in his eyes. "It's my fault."

"No, it's not." Rick and TC spoke together.

"There was nothing more you could have done." Rick murmured quietly. "I know you don't want to hear that. But it's true."

"He's right." TC agreed. "Nuzo would never blame you."

"I can't stop … seeing him." Magnum whispered. "In that ambulance."

TC laid a warm hand on Magnum's back and Rick shifted closer, resting his shoulder against Magnum's and sharing his warmth with the exhausted man.

"Whenever I try to eat, to sleep … he's there." Magnum shivered. "I can't, just can't stop seeing his face."

"I know." Rick answered, running his hand down Magnum's arm. "And I know how I would feel if I lost TC the way you lost Nuzo. But, Thomas, would Nuzo want this? Would he want you to make yourself ill?"

The gentle question penetrated the fog in Magnum's thoughts. For the first time in a week, he stopped to think beyond his own anger at himself.

Nuzo had never been a vindictive man. His brother had never held a grudge. Nuzo had always looked for the best in people or situations, found a way to move beyond the bad things. Be grateful for what he had.

And he was grateful. So grateful that he still had Rick and TC. That Lara and Jake were still in his life. That he had somewhere to live, and someone like Robin Masters as a support in his life.

But none of that changed the fact that Nuzo was gone.

And that hurt more than he could have ever imagined. More than the whole of Hell Week. More than anything he'd suffered at the hands of the Taliban.

The one thing could hurt him more, now, would be losing the only family he had left.

"Don't leave me. Please." The begging was shameless. "Losing him, it hurts so much. If I lose you two … I won't survive."

Admitting that was more than he could handle, and the first bitter tear broke through his defences. Another followed. Seconds later he could barely breathe through the sobs shaking his body.

Warm arms wrapped around him, pulling him in close. Rick was murmuring to him, but he couldn't make out the words. TC's one hand ran up and down his spine, the other resting on his shoulder, sturdy supports in his weakness.

He cried until he had no tears left, and his exhausted body shut down.

MPI-MPI-MPI

Icepick stared at the man sitting across from him, confused and faintly concerned. He was sure that he must look as stunned as he felt.

Trying to reconcile the generally happy person from all of Rick's stories with the clearly haunted man in front of him was an almost impossible task. Just how much did he still need to know about what had happened to Rick and his friends? And how much did he really want to know?

"Go on." His words were quiet.

After long minutes of silence, Magnum looked up to meet his gaze and nodded.

"Rick and TC came back every night for a week after that." The quiet words came slowly. "They talked to me. You know Rick." Magnum's tiny grin settled Icepick's nerves a little.

"That boy can talk." He agreed.

"They made sure I was eating. They stayed at night to help me sleep." Magnum shrugged, eyes dropping to the table. "They saw me at my worst, over there and here. I'm not easy to deal with sometimes. When I get too deep in my own head, I tend to … forget where I am."

"And?" Icepick hated himself for prodding at something that was clearly so painful for Thomas, but he had the feeling that finishing what he'd started was important to the man.

"Sometimes, I do things that I wouldn't do, if I knew where I was. Hurt people." Magnum muttered. "Hurt my friends. That night, when I tried to get away, I hurt Rick."

"I saw Rick with a black eye the one day when he visited." Icepick calculated times in his head and realised the truth. "He told me he'd come off his board, surfing."

"He did." Magnum nodded. "Later that morning, actually."

"But that didn't give him the shiner."

"Not that time, no." Magnum admitted sadly.

"That was you? I'm impressed." Icepick managed a smile. "Not many people get past Rick."

The look on Magnum's face was worth the effort it cost Icepick to keep the conversation light. His first instinct had been to punch Magnum in retaliation for what the man had done to Rick, to his son, but nothing he could do would be a worse punishment than what Thomas clearly already felt.

"Thanks. I guess?" Magnum sounded completely off-balance, which amused Icepick. "But so much for dignity. Like I said, one of the first casualties."

"You did say that." Icepick agreed. He settled back in his chair and just looked at Magnum. Trying to understand why the man had told him about this one night, what point the man was hoping to make by sharing his pain.

"But see, Rick – and TC – they stuck by me. Through that, and worse. Through everything that happened over there." Magnum was deadly serious now.

"I get that." Icepick answered. "But, what's your point?"

He was pretty sure where this was leading now, but he didn't plan on making the trip any easier for the man across the table. Especially if it meant that he'd need to think about all the horrors that Rick had endured with his friends. Horrors he'd done his best not to think about in detail, or to ask Rick about.

"We fought our way back. Because we had people worth fighting for. Lives worth fighting for."

"You want me to change my mind." Icepick stated, staring hard at Magnum. The other man met his gaze, unblinking. Icepick had to admire his courage; nobody stared him down, not even in Halawa. "You want me to do what Rick wants, even if he hasn't actually said so. Fight this thing by signing up for chemo."

"No." The denial was instant, and Icepick actually believed it was sincere. "That decision is yours, and only yours. None of us would take that from you. Then you really would lose your dignity."

"So what do you want?" Now Icepick was honestly curious. Nothing about this lunch and conversation had gone the way he thought it would, so now he was just going to wait for the situation to play itself out.

"I just want you to think everything over, one more time, before you make a final decision. Consider all the angles, all the facts, all the options." Earnest and sincere. No wonder Rick loved this guy, called him a brother.

"And if I still say I don't want chemo?"

"Then you don't want it. You don't do it. That's your choice to make." Magnum quietly slapped one hand down on the table in emphasis. "Rick will stand by you. We'll all stand by you, and him. Regardless. You're his family ... and that makes you ours as well."

"I am, huh?" He really wanted to know the answer.

"Yeah. You are. Always."

Those words lingered in Icepick's mind as they left the diner. That process took fifteen minutes, during which the lady who'd welcomed them, Alani, fussed around Thomas as though he was her own child. The look on Magnum's face amused Icepick, the combination of faint embarrassment at all the fuss, and a clear longing to enjoy the comfort for just a moment longer.

He stared out at the scenery as Magnum drove him back to Rick's place, turning everything over and over in his thoughts. The thought of more time with Rick kept driving out everything else, and he had to admit that he would love that.

When Rick had been captured, he'd regretted all the time that he'd wasted, time he'd spent in prison. All the things he and Rick could have done together, talked about, things he could have learned about Rick, the things he could have taught him. Treating the cancer would give him some of that time.

But at what cost to him? Illness, pain, side effects of the treatment. And did any of that truly matter, weighed against time with Rick? And time he could use to get to know this family that Rick belonged to; the family that had clearly taken Icepick in as well, regardless of anything he'd done in the past.

He clearly needed to put a lot more thought into this decision, and given his situation, there was no time like the present. It seemed he had a busy afternoon ahead of him.

The car engine died, and Icepick realised that they were parked, right where Magnum had collected him earlier. He pulled himself out of the car, turning to face Thomas.

"Thank you." He wanted to shake the man's hand, but Thomas pulled him into a quick hug instead. "For the meal. And for … everything else."

"You're welcome." Magnum nodded. "You've got my number, if you ever want to talk."

"I will. But right now, I've got some thinking to do." Icepick admitted. "It might take a while."

"As long as you need." Magnum smiled. "You coming to the barbecue tomorrow?"

"I don't …"

"Family thing." Magnum cut his words short. "So just catch a lift with Rick in the morning."

Icepick couldn't hold back the laugh at how Magnum had just ignored all his concerns, making sure Icepick knew his place. And that his place was with his newly enlarged family.

"I guess I'll be there."

He was still smiling as the Ferrari disappeared down the road.

MPI-MPI-MPI

Magnum cruised along the coastal highway, barely taking in the breath-taking vista of the ocean and the cliffs. He made a point of keeping under the speed limit this time, giving his broken ribs an easy, peaceful ride. The ache had grown over the hours he'd been away from the estate, but he could handle it.

Not that Higgins would let him. He fully expected her to be keeping an eye out for his return, and then he would have no hope of avoiding the pills. He turned the wheel to take the wide turn onto the road to Robin's Nest and winced at the sharp stab of pain. Maybe half the dosage wouldn't be a bad idea.

The estate was quiet when he arrived, but he saw Zeus and Apollo dash into the house as the gate opened in front of him. So much for thinking he could arrive unnoticed.

He parked the car and headed towards the guest house, wanting some time alone. He needed solitude, just long enough to pack all the emotions from today's lunch with Icepick back into their little boxes. Then he could shove the little boxes back into storage in the outer edges of his thoughts, and try to leave them undisturbed.

He detoured through the bathroom long enough to take care of business, take half the prescribed dose of painkillers, and drench his face in cold water. Then he wandered through to the lanai, settled back on his deck chair and stared at the ocean until everything inside him calmed again.

He let his eyes fall closed, and soaked up the warm sunshine. When he opened his eyes later, the sun was noticeably lower in the sky. The pain in his side had faded to a barely-there ache, and his head was clear again.

Magnum eased himself to his feet, headed back into the guest house and collected the keys to the Ferrari and his phone and wallet. Then he headed over to the main house, knowing that Higgins was probably out by the koi pond, intent on beating her computer at chess again.

Twin growls reached his ears as he stepped onto the deck by the pond, and Higgins looked up to meet his eyes. She looked him over, pinning him with a steady look, before finally nodding once.

"Magnum. Feeling better, I see."

"Higgins. Yes, thanks."

The formality of the exchange made him laugh, and a matching laugh showed that Higgins shared the joke.

"You've been gone a while." She was curious, but she wasn't going to ask outright. Just what he'd expect from her. She looked steadily at him, tucking one strand of golden hair behind her ear. Her white shirt undulated in the gentle breeze, shifting enough to show the fuchsia tank top under the shirt.

"Something important I had to do." He wasn't going to offer more details, and he was glad that he knew her well enough by now to know that she would accept that and let it go. She nodded, smiling as she tipped her head towards the car keys in his hand.

"Is the car still in one piece?"

"Would I be here if it wasn't?" He was only half joking, and she knew it.

"Then why the keys? Going somewhere?" A straightforward question.

"Yeah. We're going to La Mariana."

"We?" Her tone was amused. "Again?"

"Sure, we." Magnum grinned at her, mischief in his eyes. "Come on, Higgy. You know you want to."

She laughed then, closing her laptop and gathering her things. She slipped her phone into the pocket of her flowing wrap-around skirt, and Magnum noticed how the flower pattern on the skirt matched the colour of her tank top perfectly.

She led the way through the house, stopping at her desk long enough to put her laptop and other bits and pieces on the desk. Then she waved a hand towards the door, indicating that Magnum should lead the way outside. In other circumstances, he'd have argued that ladies should go first, but he knew she was using the opportunity to see how he was really recovering.

Moments later, he closed the car door for her, and eased himself back into the driver's seat. The dogs stared mournfully after them as they drove through the gate. Magnum laughed at the forlorn look, and Higgins shot him an amused glare.

"They have long memories, Magnum."

He just laughed again, as her laugh mingled with his.

MPI-MPI-MPI

Ten minutes had passed, and Juliet was getting frustrated.

Magnum had seemed fine when he'd returned to the estate, and she'd wondered if she'd imagined the odd, unsettled feeling that had lingered around the man last night. But now, after the whole trip had passed in silence, she was sure that something was bothering him.

But he hadn't said anything. And she wasn't sure whether to raise the issue with him. The instincts that had warned her against speaking the previous evening, when he'd been sitting on the sea wall, had now fallen stubbornly silent.

She'd given him space, she'd given him time. But brooding over … whatever … this was, wasn't going to fix things. With that in mind, she grabbed her courage with both hands and spoke.

"What's going on?"

"Come again?" The confusion was a façade, she was positive.

"You're distracted. Worrying at something." She took a deep breath, and carried on. "Does this have something to do with last night?"

"Why would you think that?" Innocence personified. No way would she fall for that.

"You were your usual … annoying … self when I left the estate yesterday with Katsumoto. When I came back, you were alone, and –"

"And?" There was a warning in that tone, and she ignored it. This stopped now. Whatever it was.

"And something is clearly wrong." Factual and clear. "And I can't help you fix it, if you don't tell me what it is."

Magnum glanced at her for a moment, and she saw the flash of pain in his eyes. This was obviously even worse than she feared.

"I saw it last night, when you were sitting by the beach. I knew something was wrong. I was going to come down and join you."

"Why didn't you?" He sounded off-balance, and for once, she appreciated the fact that she could surprise him. Being unpredictable was often the only thing that kept you alive when things went wrong.

"You looked like … like you needed space. So I gave it to you." She offered the words quietly, hoping he could hear the sincerity and concern.

"Thank you." He gifted her a nod and a smile, then tipped his head in a question. "And now?"

"Now, you've had as much space as you're going to get." The words were a challenge and he met them with a snort of laughter. "So tell me what's going on, and we can make a plan."

"There's no plan to make, Juliet. Nothing we can fix." The sadness in those words tore at her heart. He sounded so lost that she reached over to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He sighed, and she could almost see how carefully he chose the next words. "It's about Rick. And Icepick."

"Go on." This sounded bad, and the thought of not being able to help Rick truly upset her.

"Icepick is dying. They let him out early because he's only got a few months left." He glanced across at her, the pain back in his eyes. "Rick told us last night. It's lung cancer, stage 4."

The words dropped onto her like a heavy weight. She'd lost her mother to the slow encroachment of dementia, knowing every day that there was nothing she could do to change the course of the disease. The despair of seeing someone she loved slowly losing themselves, slipping away from the world, from her daughter, had been one of the most painful experiences of her life.

Losing Richard had hurt her more, but only just, and in a slightly different way.

Now Rick was facing a similar path, and a similar pain. How she wished she could change what she knew was coming.

"Isn't there a treatment he could try?" She was sure Magnum had already asked the question, and this way, she wouldn't have to cause Rick any more pain by asking.

"Nothing he's willing to do." Magnum shook his head. "He's decided not to try anything. Wants to keep his dignity, go out on his terms."

"Laudable. I suppose." Higgins knew it wasn't her choice to make, but still. "Doesn't he care enough about Rick to fight?"

"He wants to spend his time with Rick. What he has left." But Magnum nodded his agreement with Juliet's sentiments. "I wish he'd decided differently, but it's not my decision to make."

Something about the words, the tone, had Higgins staring hard at Magnum. He shifted his eyes away from her, and studiously stared out the windshield, hands tight on the wheel. If she didn't know better, she'd have thought he was feeling guilty about something. But he hadn't had enough time alone since that barn had collapsed on him to get into any sort of trouble. Or to do anything to feel guilty about.

Or had he?

She let the clues and hints percolate in her mind as she stared at Magnum, then past him to the scenery.

The road curved out ahead of them, and the sun was dropping towards the horizon. Something tugged at the edge of her awareness and she waited patiently for the pieces to fit themselves together. Which they eventually did.

"That's where you went this morning." The miniscule flinch of his hands on the steering wheel confirmed what had only been an educated guess. "You went to talk to Icepick."

"Don't tell Rick. Please." The request was honestly serious, half a step from outright begging.

"If that's what you want." But she couldn't help but want to know his reasons. "But why ever not?"

"It's Icepick's life. His decision." Magnum sounded uncomfortable trying to explain himself, and she waited while he found the words. "If he changes his mind, it's for Rick. Because of Rick. No other reason."

"What did you say to try to change his mind?" Higgins knew, without a single question, that the whole point of whatever Magnum had done this morning was to get Icepick to change his mind.

"I didn't say anything to try to change his mind, honestly." Damn the man for actually sounding like he was hurt by her assumption. She considered his answer for a moment, and spotted the obvious clue.

"Then what did you do? When you saw him this morning." She chose the word with care, knowing that Magnum would know she'd seen through the smokescreen he was trying to create.

"Who said I did anything?" Magnum turned a wide-eyed look on her. He lifted one shoulder in a tiny shrug and she knew, immediately, that whatever he said now would be the truth. But if he hadn't tried to get Icepick to change his mind, the whole point of going to see the man eluded her completely.

"Don't even try to pretend that you didn't do something this morning." Higgins shook her head in exasperation. Magnum looked at her for a long moment, then sighed in defeat.

"Okay, you win." He shook his head. "I bought him lunch."

"Lunch?" Scepticism filled the word. "What else did you do while you plied the man with food?"

"I didn't do anything else, I swear." Wounded innocence filled the words. "I just told him a story, about someone I know. About how dignity sometimes isn't all it's cracked up to be." Now he was truly uncomfortable.

"Someone you know?" She knew the question was sharp enough to tell Magnum that she'd already figured out that the 'someone' was really Magnum himself.

"Rick doesn't need to know I told Icepick a story, okay?" He didn't look at her as he carried on speaking. "Especially that one. Besides, Rick already knows it. He was there."

That caught her attention and she thought of all the things he'd gone through with Rick by his side. That story could be anything, but she doubted it was good.

She glanced across at him and he met her eyes, held her gaze for a second, eyes serious. "Okay. Rick will hear nothing from me." She nodded then, just once and saw the relief fill his face as he looked away.

Which just confirmed for her that whatever he'd told Icepick was no doubt highly personal. Probably also painful, and maybe even humiliating. Definitely embarrassing.

But thinking back to Amanda Sato, and how Magnum had bared his soul to the traumatised girl, she knew that Magnum would be willing to endure anything if it made things better for Rick. Or any other member of his 'ohana.

The man thought he was a closed book, when he was really the exact opposite. And in spite of the somewhat cavalier and nonchalant appearance he tried to project, the man actually felt things incredibly deeply. He was indeed a very good man.

She thought everything over for the rest of the drive, letting the scenery lull her into a state of calm. She wasn't sure what she would have done in Magnum's situation. But she would have done something, of that she was sure. She could hardly blame the man for trying.

As he parked the car, she took a deep breath, and offered one purposefully bland question.

"Do you think it worked, Thomas?"

Silence reigned for a moment, then Magnum sighed. "I can only hope so, Juliet."

MPI-MPI-MPI

Rick looked up at the sound of voices he knew, and spotted Thomas and Juliet coming into La Mariana. He gave them a discreet once-over as they came closer.

Thomas was looking better than he had the night before. From the look of his eyes, he'd managed to get some sleep. From the way he was moving, he'd clearly given in and taken at least some pain medication, which was a relief. Having to force his friend to look after himself was always a real battle.

And Jules – well, she was just Jules. Always gorgeous, always looking fresh and happy, always lifting his spirits just by being herself and being near him. He'd really lucked out when Thomas moved into the guest house at Robins' Nest. They all had, because Jules was an amazing member of their little 'ohana.

But he thought he was probably the luckiest one of them all. One strange quirk of fate, and he's suddenly gained the sister he'd always wanted. And she owned the two most adorable dogs as well.

He caught Magnum's eye and raised a hand to point towards the corner where TC had settled himself at a table half an hour earlier. Magnum waved in reply and turned in that direction. Higgins, strangely enough, patted Magnum on the arm and said something, then headed straight towards him at the bar.

She looked so intent that he came out from behind the counter to meet her. Before he could say a word, she wrapped her arms around him in gigantic hug and hung on for a full thirty seconds.

"What's up, Jules? What's wrong?" For her to be so demonstrative, especially in the middle of a Saturday evening crowd, could only mean that something was seriously wrong.

"I'm so sorry." The quiet words were just barely loud enough for him to hear over the hum of the crowd. He leaned down to catch every word that followed, eyes locked on her concerned face. "Magnum told me. About Icepick."

"Oh." He'd never been the guy who couldn't find something to say, but right now, not a single word came to mind.

"You don't have to say anything." She gave him a tiny smile. "I just want you to know that I know, and that if you need anything – anything at all – you know where to find me."

"Thanks, Jules." He could feel his throat clog up at the offer. Her support was enough to bring a man to tears, on a good day. Today was not a good day, and the offer meant even more because of that.

"If you need someone to sit on the beach with, to listen or to talk …" The offer was genuine, and Rick knew just how lucky he was to be the recipient of it.

"You'll be the first person I call." The only person he'd call. An hour or two, late at night on the beach with Higgins, was one of the best ways he'd ever found to settle his mind.

"And if you'd like company when perforating targets at Clyde's place –" The tiny smile grew into a grin.

"I'll call you." He met her grin with one of his own. "And I may take you up on that sooner than you think."

He knew that he had no control over Icepick's illness, or the decision the other man had taken not to fight it. And he knew himself well enough to know that the lack of control would make him irritable and moody. Just the emotions that he didn't need to cope with right now. Not if he wanted to support Icepick and enjoy the time they had left together.

"Any time." Higgins shot him a challenging look. "Willing to bet that you can beat me on the indoor range?"

"You're on." Rick laughed out loud at that. "You've got no chance."

"We'll see about that." A year ago, he'd have believed she really thought that she could beat him. But now that he knew her better, he could tell that the wager was only to take his mind off his other concerns.

She smiled at him then, nodding at his certainty. Then she glanced over her shoulder towards Magnum and TC, and Rick followed her gaze to see the two men watching Juliet carefully. He stared until they noticed him watching, and both looked away at the same moment.

"Not subtle, that pair." Rick muttered.

"Not today, no." Higgins agreed, eyes dancing with humour. "But it's only because they care."

"I know." Rick admitted quietly. "I don't know all the details yet, or how this whole thing is going to play out, but I know it's going to be bad. Probably very bad."

"It doesn't matter how bad it gets." Higgins took hold of Rick's arm and hung on tightly. "We're here, all of us. And we're not going anywhere."

"This isn't your problem, Jules. Not really."

"Don't make me hurt you, Rick." The snap of anger in her eyes was real, and Rick was taken aback for a moment. "He's your father, in all the ways that matter. And you belong to us, to our family. Which means he does, too."

"I don't know what to say … Thanks, Jules. Just thank you. Again." Rick met her eyes and saw the sincerity there. The concern, the care. He had to force himself to look away, only to find Magnum and TC staring at him from across the bar, the same emotions clear on their faces.

He was a lucky man.

He grabbed a beer and lifted it towards the corner, tipping his head to the side. Two nods answered his question and when he looked back at Juliet, she was nodding as well. He passed two beers to Higgins and grabbed two himself, and they headed across the room.

When the beers were opened and everyone was settled quietly around the table, he took a long, hard look at his friends. There were no better people to spend time with, no better people to have his back and take his side. Even when the cause was hopeless, and the misery at the end a foregone conclusion.

"I'm a very lucky man." The words were out before he even thought about them.

The confused looks from all three people at the table made him laugh.

"Yes, the news sucks. Yes, it's going to be hard, and miserable, and painful. And it's going to end badly." He could see the concern on all their faces. "But as long as I have you three, I'll be okay."

Smiles met his words, along with a very definite nod from Higgins.

"Yes, you will." Her words answered for all three of his friends. His family.

So he raised his beer in a toast to them.

"To 'ohana." And a chorus of voices joined him on the echo.

"'Ohana."

FIN

26