You're the star in my war
It was just another ordinary night for Cheese. Playing some video games to unwind after a long day. The sound of clicking of the control sticks and clacking of the buttons could be heard. A nostalgic sound for the young cheese. Little did he know his entire night was about to flip like a breakfast chef flipping a pancake.
His older brother barged in burping uncontrollably. After several burps he put a hand to his mouth and made cat like regurgitating sounds. Oh, what a horrible sound this was. It made the skin crawl and the stomach churn. Cheese's bones turned to glass, his muscles to pudding, his liver to haggis, his eyes to marbles, his skin to paper, his stomach to ice, his entrails to yarn, his brain to steiraform, and his eyes popping out and drooping down his face as vomit poured forth.
Good god how it poured forth, poured forth it did like an elephant that just gagged at the dinner table on his elephant wife's god-awful cooking. The vomit covered every single surface lovingly and carefully decorated. Cheese's mouth couldn't move, he couldn't think, all he could do was watch. Once it was over, he was so stunned and weak that when his cool brother wrapped his beeg arm around his shoulder to guide him towards destiny he couldn't possibly object.
"Bro I've finally pieced things together," said cheese's brother, "I've figured it all out finally dude the war is coming but it's not coming how I thought it would." Between more belches and squelching splorches of vomit he continued to explain to his young naiive and foolish brother. "The wawwr is come from the stars my bro, luckily for us I went out and got guns like I said and I took out these aliens bro."
Before cheese knew it his epic borther had guided him to a lame handmade UFO with wheels the size you would see on a scooter. Outside of the sorry looking craft were 2 mannequins made to look like aliens. What the heck was going on? Had his big bortler finally lost it or did he finally piece the secrets behind the universe and our world together? As Cheese's botter was trying to usher him inside the craft cheese finally found his voice.
"There's no way I'm getting in that it smells of algaehol and vomit." The eldest byorther chortled with the superiority of a guy who was cock of the walk of walking. He forced cheese inside, "nonsense bro just get comfortable it's totally fine." The coolest oldest biggest bortlrarb closed the doors of the craft and booted it up. "Check it out bro I took down those two hostile aliens and totally jacked their space pod."
Cheese was flummoxed and suffering from a lack of clean oxygen. "Dude you made this all yourself let me go back and play video games." This angered tyrant brother and he cronched a bottle of algaehol in his right-hand sending glass flying. "We're going bro. We're going and we're going to fight this war I got the broadcast bro I got the broadcast I know this in my heart to be true."
Suddenly the craft began to move forward gaining speed way too fast. Bige byorthler stared ahead lazily as it continued to gain speed. "Dude stop this thing," Cheese yelled while fumbling for his phone to call 911. Without looking Brog Brogler nonchalantly grabbed it and threw it out the window. Cheese screamed at the top of his lungs. There was no stopping this thing. They were going to crash and be humiliated or die. He couldn't decide which he'd prefer.
All of a sudden before crashing the space plod lifted off the ground. Even BLORLBLOTHER was surprised at this for a second. "Oh, right the flight controls," he rolled out what looked like a shoddy drawer from a cheap desk. Pressing buttons and sticks they flew out towards the sky into the stars. Cheese was still screaming like banshee. "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!"
As they made it out of Earth's atmosphere BYORGBORBLER slumped over as a sickening burbling noise came from his gullet. "Sorry little bro…algaehol poisoning…I…I'm so sorry. I tried to be a good bro but I'm just a sorry shell of Blorb…" BERGBLOBBER'S body flickered like a cheap tv screen and he suddenly looked like one of the dead aliens on the ground back where they started.
"WHAT THE HELL MAN?! YOU'RE AN ALIEN?!" Cheese was freaking out. There was no way this could have been happening right? "Yeah, I'm a Blorb I replaced your brother at a young age." Cheese's eyes turned outside and fell in his mouth in shock! "There's a war out there in the galaxy bro and I need you to fight it…it's coming…it's just like Star Wars bro…just like Star Wars…but better because it never got bought by Disney. You're the star in my war bro."
BUGBROTHER began to jerk around in his death moments and broke the window causing so much more suffering to his death. Cheese felt an odd sort of relief through the agony…Death was clearly better than this. Cheese's eyes flung open. He was in bed? Oh, thank goodness it was all a dream. He rolled over to wrap his arm around his dog to find a human body in his bed. A phone light turned on suddenly showing BYOGBLORBER'S teary red eyes right in front of his face. He rapidly began explaining through tears, "Bro I pieced it together and it's far wars than I ever imagined it's basically like Star Wars BrO LiKe Sta RWaRS DuDE I'm fReAKin OuT ThE WAr is inSPacEAS Bro It's in space good god Ias'dfiasdfiasdf'asidfjasdna' . aAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"