It was all going according to plan. Every heart wrenching, soul tearing moment was going according to that stupid plan, that awful promise, right up until the moment the doctor told her she was having twins.
She had laughed at first. There was something hysterical about the fact that she actually knew more about her own pregnancy than her OBGYN did. After all it's not like she could tell the woman that the baby's father was an angel, or that she knew it was a daughter because the kid had time traveled from the future to make that angel make a promise that would make her feel like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. She knew what color her babies eyes would be, and her hair, and what it sounded like when she sassed her mom. She KNEW this baby, and there was definitely only one in there, for sure. Rory had shared enough of the future that she was sure the girl didn't have a twin.
But her OB just gave her a pitying look that was probably reserved for the mother's who never had a partner next to them in visits that took to laughing hysterically when told there was an extra kid they needed to raise alone. Then she showed her a screen which definitely, definitely had two babies on it.
She had never prayed to God before. She generally just called up his cell whenever she knew he was earth-side and arranged family plans that way. You know, like a normal modern person would do when your baby's uncle was the almighty. But she did that day. There was absolutely no one else she could talk to, because no one else was in on the plan, and she had to talk to someone right fricken now. So she prayed, right there on the nicely manicured front lawn of the large corporate medical building her OB was in. And to give the big guy some props, he promptly showed up to her near-hysterical prayer. And people said god never listened.
Amenadiel's look of total astonishment when she told him the news was not at all comforting. There was something about God himself being surprised that was deeply unnerving. His proposed solution made it even worse.
"You want to take away my baby?"
Amenadiel gave her that look. A look she had often seen him direct at Lucifer, a look that spoke of exasperation and exhaustion, a look that said he was dealing with someone being totally unreasonable and he was annoyed but trying to act like he wasn't because he was above such things (but really he wasn't). Oddly seeing it made her miss Lucifer so deeply (just about everything was making her miss Lucifer these days) that it was hard to breathe for a second. It was good to know that being God hadn't really changed who he was. It kind of made her wonder if Lucifer would have managed to stay himself through the transition as well as he did. Made her wonder if Lucifer could have somehow managed to stop this stupid time loop from happening if he had become God after all.
"Rory clearly had no knowledge of a twin. If we want to keep the time loop intact we need to make sure her childhood is the same. It only makes sense that Lucifer would raise the other child." Amenadiel argued calmly, making it sound like he was offering the most reasonable, sensible option in the world.
Chloe wrapped her arms around her still flat stomach and shook her head. "No, no, there must be some way we can make this work! Maybe Rory just never brought them up… I mean, I never had any idea Lucifer was a twin until Michael came to earth!"
Amenadiel gave her a deeply chiding look and Chloe glanced away, trying not to let it bother her that God was disappointed in her. It was still hard to wrap her head around the fact that he wasn't just Lucifer's over-serious brother anymore.
"Chloe, don't you see? This is a chance for Lucifer to raise his child! Be there for all the milestones! He doesn't have to miss everything! Do you really want to keep both of his children away from them for the rest of your life? You don't want him to experience fatherhood at all?"
Guilt welled up inside of her. She knew it was hard for Lucifer - she knew it - harder than it was on her. She got the pain of missing him, and the sorrow of raising a child alone, but he had to miss out on his daughter's life, her childhood, watching her grow up. She had thought that they could both handle it, that they would both suffer for Rory to make the world a better place, but now that she was on the other side of it and faced with the prospect of having her baby taken away from her and raised far away it really hit home how horrible it must be for him.
She had known how heartbroken Lucifer was throughout the time Rory had visited them. The idea he had failed his own child had wounded him deeply, but she was so caught up in her fears of being abandoned by him, her concern for Rory, and a little bit relishing in the obvious bond Rory had with her, she hadn't really been there for him to help him through it. Then suddenly the promise was made and he was forced to leave, and now she finally realized the pain he must be feeling, down alone in hell without any of their friends and family there to support him through it.
She thought about how happy he would be to have a chance at everything they thought he would have to miss. Birthdays and Christmas and school plays. Teaching a wide eyed child how to ride a bike and a rebellious teenager how to drive a car. She could give that to him, a chance to raise a baby of his own. Even beyond that, a reason to stay on earth, an opportunity to spend only decades until they were reunited instead of the tens of thousands of years that currently stretched out before him until they could be united as a family.
Horribly, selfishly, even knowing what a massive gift this would be to Lucifer, how God himself thought it was the best plan, she hesitated. She didn't want to be separated from any number of her babies. She didn't want her child to grow up without her. She didn't want her child to look at her one day the way that Rory had looked at Lucifer, so full of anger and disappointment and accusation. She didn't want to feel like that kind of failure. She wasn't as strong as Lucifer was. Surely he could understand that? He could be strong for her?
She looked up at Amenadiel hopefully, wishing desperately that he would give in, let her keep her children, understand that she couldn't let them go. He looked into her eyes and his features hardened. Having a brother in law that could read your thoughts when you were at your most selfish was not a great way to create family bonding.
"I will tell Lucifer the good news, and have him prepare to receive the child" Amenadiel declared, ringing and certain. The literal word of God.
A protest formed on her tongue and rose up her throat, but Amenadiel was gone before it escaped her lips, not with a whoosh of wings, but with a blink of an eye. He was gone, it was done.
ooooOOOOOooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOOooooo
Amenadiel found Lucifer in hell, in a perfect replica of Linda's office, down to her degrees hanging on the wall. He felt rather shocked that Lucy hadn't bothered to make any changes, since his brother had such strong opinions on all things related to aesthetic and design. He knew that the room was probably what Lucifer considered his 'safe space' but the devil had already been down here long enough that he should feel comfortable adding some personal touches of his own. His lack of any kind of flair was... concerning.
Lucifer met his eyes and happily cried out "Brother!" but he knew his younger sibling well enough by now to see the misery lurking behind his warm brown eyes. It had been over a thousand years in Hell since Lucifer had left earth, left Chloe pregnant with his child, and Amenadiel couldn't fathom how much it must be hurting him to be away from them. Lucifer's sacrifice was immense, and his quest to redeem the damned souls of hell was deeply honorable, but privately Amenadiel thought it was too much for Rory to ask of him. He wasn't at all sure he could have kept a promise like that, to stay away from Charlie. It was times like these when he secretly wondered if Lucifer would have made a better God than him.
Being God wasn't at all what he had imagined it would be. All the solutions were not magically presented to him, he did not suddenly understand all of life and his father's creations. What it did do is reveal the giant, tangled, complicated mess that the universe actually was, without any kind of user's guide to control it all. He wrestled daily with wondering if his Father had just been that much better at it than he was, or if the man had been faking it and blustering through everything for untold millennia. He was currently leaning towards the latter viewpoint. He presented a confident, controlled front, because he couldn't imagine the panic that would settle into the host if God himself was freaking out because he had no idea how to be God, but in private he very much wondered if he hadn't been the wrong choice.
Despite all the stress that the big job brought to him daily, it lit a flame of happiness inside of him that he could bring his suffering brother such good news. Hopefully having a child to raise, to be able to see at least one of his children grow up could bring Lucifer the true joy that raising a child could bring to the soul. Despite Rory's claim that they would have eternity to know each other, Amenadiel knew that being there for your child's formative years was an experience you just couldn't replace or replicate with a fully grown angel.
"Brother!" Amenadiel couldn't stop the massive grin growing across his face "I have some very good news for you" He glanced over at the couch, where a teenager, barely older than a kid, sat giving him a hateful glare, wrapped in a protective armor of leather and teenage defiance. Despite the resentful continence, Amenadiel couldn't help to feel the tragedy of one so young being pulled down to Hell, and was impressed all over again at how much good Lucifer was doing here in the afterlife. "Perhaps there is somewhere we could speak alone?"
He had hoped Lucifer would perk up a bit at that, but it only caused a slow, sad smile to cross his features. He probably just thought he was bringing news of the pregnancy, perhaps some pictures of all the family he had left behind. Which he knew his brother craved, but would never be anything more than bittersweet. Well he could do better than that now.
"Of course!" Lucifer cried, with his typical energy and enthusiasm, probably well enough to fool someone who hadn't known him for thousands of years. "Jeramy, I'm afraid the almighty requires my attention. How about you go back to your loop, and see if you can't work on that better path we've been talking about. See if you can't talk to Katie before she leaves this time. We'll meet again next week. Zedas will show you the way back."
Jeramy made quite an expressive face at that, but got up off the couch without comment. Then he looked at the spot directly behind Amenadiel, which is the only sign he had that there was someone else in the room. He tried to turn around without flinching, but almost gave in when he saw the eldritch nightmare standing behind him. He had seen plenty of horrors in the time he had spent watching Hell when Lucifer went above, but never anything quite like Zedas's demon face, which was in a league of its own. There were tentacles, pustules and far more eyeballs than he personally felt were necessary. Zedas made Maze's demon face look like a character on a kids show.
It was certainly not who he would have picked to play receptionist or tour guide, but he suspected Lucifer was blind to the horrors of his demon's faces by now. He considered mentioning that a better helper might go over well with the damned souls, but he was hesitant to let his brother know how unnerved he was with Zedas silent appearance in the room. He was trying very hard to prevent Lucifer from seeing how little control or awareness he had here in Hell. Like a blanket was wrapped around his senses, he knew deep down it was not truly his domain, god or not.
Jeramy brushed past him to leave with Zedas, clearly trying to telegraph a tough image, but also shying away from both the newly revealed God and the tentacles protruding from Zedas face. Amenadiel couldn't help but be impressed with the young teen, he himself wouldn't be eager to go anywhere alone with Zedas, the kid had stones.
Once the door had closed behind them, Amenadiel strode over to give Lucifer a hug. Lucifer grumbled against his shoulder, but he knew from the strength of the arms that wrapped around him he was glad for the physical contact and expression of affection. Amenadiel refused to let go until Lucifer was ready, wanting to make up for the years and years that had passed for him since his last visit. Eventually Lucifer pushed him away, continuing to grumble about clingy brothers and Gods.
Lucifer sat back down, still in 'Linda's chair' and crossed his legs, looking up at Amenadiel expectantly, with his same old devilish smirk on his face, but Amenadiel could see the strain behind his eyes, the great effort it took him to look so cavalier about his news.
"Actually, I think this news calls for a drink. Do you have anything in here?" Amenadiel asked, trying to sound casual. If there was no whiskey in the vicinity then there would truly be cause to be alarmed about Lucifer's mental state.
Lucifer's eyebrows shot up in shock. Finally, a small light caught in Lucifer's eyes, glinting with humor and teasing. "Why, brother, God drinking in the middle of a workday? Whatever will the host say?"
Lucifer bounced up out of his seat, and opened a cabinet at the back of the room. Amenadiel was aware that back on earth, in Linda's real office the cabinet held an assortment of office supplies, empty folders, pens and several backup boxes of kleenex. Apparently in hell office supplies were not needed, and instead the cabinet was filled with several expensive looking bottles of whiskey and some crystal drinking glasses. He felt somewhat relieved that Lucifer had put any kind of small mark on the office at all. The thought of him down here for thousands of years without having any real space of his own was depressing at best, and worrying at the worst. Lucifer poured them both several fingers from one of the bottles, and offered one up to him with a flourish.
"So Brother, what 'good news' brings you here to the pits of Hell?" Lucifer asked, somehow making 'good news' sound like some ridiculous American slang term he was too British to understand.
Amenadiel smiled again as he told him "Well, Chloe had her ultrasound today".
The glow in Lucifer's eyes seemed to dim, and his smile became much more fixed and less genuine. He ventured on, bravely, "I'm assuming that all is well and Rory is doing splendidly?"
Amenadiel leaned forward eagerly "Actually, even better than that!"
Lucifer laughed a little, his old familiar 'You're putting me on laugh' that he used when the humans confused him too much. "What could possibly be better than the baby doing well?".
"For Both of the babies to be doing well!" the words bust out of Amenadiel's mouth in a jarring rush, his excitement to relieve Lucifer's misery getting the best of him.
Lucifer blinked and shook his head in confusion. "What do I care if someone else's spawn is doing well?"
Amenadiel grinned, almost bouncing on his toes from the excitement, "They're both yours! Chloe is having twins!"
Lucifer's confusion melted away into shock. "Twins?" His eyes slowly got wider and wider, his body going more and more limp, like a puppet someone was losing control over. He stumbled back and collapsed into the chair behind him. Finally he looked up at Amenadiel as though he held the answers to the universe (which he didn't really, but Lucifer had every reason to think he did).
Amenadiel sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of Lucifer's 'therapist' chair, hoping it would seem like he was looking to be closer to his brother (and not avoiding taking the patient spot on the couch). He put a supportive hand on his brother's arm, nodded and firmly replied "Twins. It's too soon to tell what the sexes are, of course we know Rory will be a girl, but they aren't sure if the twins are identical or fraternal, so the other one could be a boy. You're going to be a father Lucifer. Twice!"
A smile was slowly making its way across Lucifer's face, but stopped just as it arrived, melting at once into despair. "So I'll miss both my children's lives! Both of their childhoods! Now I'm a disappointment to both of them!" He turned away from Amenadiel, cradling his eyes with his hand, shielding his face from view.
Amenadiel leapt to his feet, eager to refute the new source of his brother's despair. "No, Luci, No! That's the wonderful news! Rory never mentioned a twin, not once. She has no idea she has a sister or brother! That means Chloe can't raise the other baby! But YOU can! I will bring the child to you once it is born, you can raise it, somewhere on earth, away from Chloe and Rory. You can experience the wonders of childhood for yourself! Raise at least one of your children! This is wonderful news!"
Lucifer looked up at him, tears and hope shining in his eyes. "I… I can raise the other baby?"
Amenadiel grinned, and pulled a limp Lucifer up into a bear hug, squeezing him tightly, then pulled back to give him a giant slap on the back. Lucifer stumbled forward, totally unprepared for it, but it accomplished what he had hoped and seemed to snap the devil out of his stupor.
Lucifer laughed with delight, "I'm going to be a father! A real father! I can teach them to play the piano, and to drive, and make a proper martini! I can teach them how to get a suit tailored perfectly! I'm going to be a daddy!" The absolute delight in Lucifer's face soothed a part of Amenadiel that had been hurting since he was told the grand plan. Maybe they wouldn't be a perfect family, but at least Lucifer wouldn't have to totally miss out.
Lucifer looked down at his untouched glass, and swallowed it all in one gulp. "This calls for another round! Tell me all about the ultrasound!". Suddenly Lucifer seemed entirely his old self, bouncing around the office pouring drinks, shining with an internal light that had always captured the attention and focus of whatever room he was in. Even when Amenadiel had been on the outs with his brother, he was so very hard to look away from.
As Amenadiel focused on the question that had been asked of him, he hesitated. He did not want to burst Lucifer's joyful bubble by telling him Chloe had been reluctant to hand the second twin over to be raised somewhere else. He instead relayed a deeply abridged version of his conversation with the detective, along with some information he had gleaned from the OBGYN's mind on the health of the babies, and some of the differences between a single and double pregnancy, to a Lucifer who couldn't seem to hear enough.
Having Lucifer so focused on him when he was talking and truly interested in what he was saying was something of a novel experience for him, and he couldn't help but to enjoy it. Lucifer reacted in all the right places, and prompted him for more information just when needed. Playing therapist for a thousand years had certainly improved his ability to listen well, but it couldn't hurt that the subject was so close to his heart.
"It is my intention to bring the baby directly to you after it is born, and then wipe all records of the second birth from the hospital records and memories from the minds of the nurses and doctors, so that there isn't any evidence left for Rory to find that will tell her she had a twin." Amenadiel announced, once every detail he could comfortably give Lucifer had been squeezed out of him.
Lucifer shot him a skeptical look over the top of his whiskey glass. "Aren't you playing a little hard and fast with the laws of free will there, brother?"
Amenadiel bristled a little under his younger brother's critical stare, but rallied and continued on "The key to all of this is not leaving a trail at all. You and the twin will need to stay completely off of Rory's raidar. Forgetting that one patient had two babies instead of one is hardly going to impact the lives of the hospital staff. It will be a minor fix to prevent a much bigger issue."
Lucifer nodded, but didn't look convinced, probably unwilling to do anything that could challenge his role as the twin's guardian.
"Which brings me to another issue. Of course I don't expect you to raise the child in Hell, so you will need to return to earth somewhere to raise it. You will need to travel back to Hell to continue your work here when you can, but I've found the commute to Heaven to be easy enough to navigate, and with the time difference in Hell the baby will hardly notice you are ever away. What I'm concerned about is you creating an alias to use while raising the baby, 'Lucifer Morningstar' is going to be too easy for Rory to track down if you are living on earth, especially with all the advancements in technology humans are so invested in these days. You need to find a name to use that someone who has been trained by Auntie Maise the bounty hunter cannot track down in a few hours. I know how you hate to lie, but we will need to think up an identity that you can be comfortable with."
Lucifer, at least, looked serious about this, nodding pensively. Amenadiel had expected him to insist on keeping his own name, but he seemed to be thinking hard.
"I do have a handful of other names on earth, mostly for financial purposes. My trips to earth were always sporadic enough that if I was ever declared dead my money would be inherited by another identity, and so on and so forth."
Amenadiel raised a teasing eyebrow at his brother. "And I thought you didn't lie!"
Lucifer scoffed at him "I don't lie brother! It just doesn't extend to employing accountants that don't lie, even if I could find such a thing. After all, the banks will hardly listen if you tell them you are immortal and may be gone for a few dozen years, but please keep my money safe and growing, thank you. I don't want all my hard work undone because some human governments got greedy. I just hire people who keep everything running smoothly, and my interest accumulating when I'm away. All it really takes is putting the fear of the devil into a few key families."
Amenadiel startled at that. He knew that Lucifer always seemed to appear to have vast financial resources at his fingertips, but had always assumed that he rebuilt his empire every time he came to earth, using favors and sketchy deals to pave his way. It had never occurred to him that he had arranged for his money to be funneled in an endless circle of fake identities and was growing on its own in Lucifer's time away, ready and waiting for him the moment he touched down on earth. A part of him wondered if he should interfere with it all, but knew it was not the time to test Lucifer's trust in him.
"So, you're saying that not all of your money is under the name Lucifer Morningstar? Because anything under that name needs to be left alone." Amenadiel insisted, wanting to be sure Lucifer wasn't misdirecting him. He could check it out himself, but he was trying hard to build relationships with his siblings out of trust and communication, not mind reading and all-knowing snooping. Not to mention digging out information buried in random minds all around the world was a massive headache and a half, and that was before he had to decipher and interpret complex financial data. No thank you. The one bonus of being God should be he didn't have to worry about money, even if the money was Lucifers.
Lucifer waved his hand away casually, totally unbothered by the massive fortune Amenadiel knew he had under that name.
"No, no, I only ever keep a hundred million or so under whatever name I'm currently using, just in case things go bad. Spending money if you will. Most of my money is tucked away elsewhere. I won't touch anything under Lucifer Morningstar until the time loop is complete. I can promise you that. Hopefully Rory will eventually inherit whatever I left in LA, money included". Lucifer trailed off and glanced away, the brightness of his expression dimming for a moment into one of mourning, but just as Amenadiel was about to interrupt him, he seemed to come back to life. "So I'll have plenty to spend on twin number two, no worries there."
Amenadiel contemplated asking his spendthrift brother how much money he actually did have in total, and then decided he would probably be a lot happier not knowing. For someone who was becoming increasingly distressed every day at how much he didn't know for an 'all knowing' God, this was ignorance he was happy to keep.
"I'm assuming all of these other names you have are all in reference to you being the Devil?" Amenadiel asked skeptically, funneling his attention pointedly away from money matters.
Lucifer straightened up, and gave Amenadiel a condescending glance "I've always been honest about who and what I am brother!" offense dripping from his tone.
Amenadiel changed tactics, soothing his voice and calming his manner "I am not asking you to lie Lucifer, but to find a truth you can be comfortable with. You need to stop mentioning the fact that you are the devil constantly. I've found in my time on earth it's actually very rare for a human to ask you directly if you are, in fact, the devil, and I'm confident that if someone asks you that question you could just refuse to answer them. I'm asking you to lay low for a few years. Introducing yourself as Beelzebub MorgenStern is not going to help with that."
Lucifer made a face at that, and Amenadiel hoped he had cut off the more ridiculous and obvious possible names off at the pass. Tentatively, he couldn't help but offer up "Well, you could always go by Sam?"
The fires of hell lit in Lucifer's eyes, turning them a sinister red, and Amenadiel realized that despite how far they had come, some old wounds had not healed over completely and some subjects were too sensitive to push. Looking back at Samael's original rebellion and ejection from heaven with the new knowledge that his father had not been as precognitive as he had thought made him really question for the first time if God had not seriously overreacted. A daily reminder of who he had once been was probably more than Lucifer could bear. He held up his hands to signal retreat and assured his brother "Sorry, bad idea, forget that I said it."
Lucifer's eyes snapped back to brown in a blink and he nodded his approval of the subject being dropped. "I'll pop up to the surface today and check in with my accountants, see what we have established that might work, check on my properties - I should probably avoid settling in the Americas entirely to give Chloe some space" Lucifer frowned at that but carried on "Perhaps North American completely, And I should probably pick up some parenting books.." He grinned, almost bouncing in his seat "There's so much to do! I'll need to design a nursery, and the baby will need clothes! I'll need to find a good tailor for him or her.."
Amenadiel realized his brother would have more work to do than he thought on the learning about babies front. "Luci, babies don't wear tailored clothing."
But Lucifer wasn't paying him the least bit of attention, already up and out of his chair and rummaging around on the desk for a notepad. "While I'm up there I'll see if I can't find someone to consult with on some of my more resistant patients. I'm running into some roadblocks with some of the younger ones, and after all it was easy enough for you to get Linda to confide in you about her patients, I'm sure to have an easier time of it than you, I am after all, so much more charming."
Amenadiel tuned out Lucifer's babbling, and sat back to enjoy the moment. Every day he reminded himself to enjoy the now, the little things, and not get totally lost in the big picture things that took up so much time as God. He wanted to take time to revel in the little stuff. So he watched his little brother bubble with energy and purpose, lit from within once more as he prepared for the impending fatherhood that he now got to be a part of, and for the first time since becoming God, he felt absolutely certain that he was doing the right thing.
ooooOOOOOooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOOooooo
Authors Note:
There's really been an explosion in the Lucifer fandom recently, as everyone is rage writing their fix or happy ending of season rip your heart out, and I am no different. I wasn't even halfway through season stab you in the chest, before I was thinking 'But what if there were twins?'. I really wanted to see what a kid raised 100% by Lucifer would turn out like.
There were actually three different stories that were somewhat different that I wanted to do with the twins idea, but this (the longest of the three, go figure) was what wanted to come out first. I may still write a second, separate, story that takes place in season six, where twin number two hitches a ride back in time along with Rory, but I would like to get a few more chapters of this out first.
All the chapters in this are going to time jump, so we are going to see flashes of Lucifer rising twin number two. Next Chapter the twins are born and we find out both the twins name and Lucifer's pseudonym. And I've got… part of that figured out. First names for the both of them, but Morningstar is such an awesome last name it's hard to beat.
If anyone is finding the paragraphs too long let me know. It looks fine in my word document on my laptop, but I know most people are probably reading on their phones these days and I'm a little worried this will become crazy blocks of text. I can adjust and adapt, except when it comes to double spaces after periods because you can pry those from my cold dead hands.