Solving Skills Accidentally Ruin Parties

by Pre-Animation Man

Beginning to fear that she's losing her wild edge, Pinkie and Sunset head out to party with the big kids.

"As the mighty Cerberus regains their footing, it looks down on the three travelers who defeated it with something like respect. The far heads' ears lower as they dip down. It's the middle head that speaks. 'Poodlewolves young and old have tried to break into the forbidden temple. All have failed. I can no longer stop you, but I warn you; when that door opens, it can't be closed. So, like. Don't.'"

"Seriously?" Rainbow Dash said. "That's the best dark warning you could come up with?"

"Shhhhhhh!" A solid brown paw descended on his head. Babs Seed sent Pinkie Pie her winning smile, slobber and all. "Pinkie Pie, love, please keep going."

"If you can do better, Rainbow Dash, then maybe you should put your muzzle where your money is and be Kennel Master next time." Pinkie Pie shifted some notes around, finding her place. "Ahhh, here we go. Satisfied, Cerberus turns and opens the portal with a hefty bark. The master of death is not happy to see how things have turned out, but they aren't exactly begging to take the blame on this one, either." She slammed her paws down on the desk, rattling their pieces. "Now, humble travelers! What say you?"

"I say your diction needs a bit of work."

"Woof you, Rainbow Dash."

"I'm a bit put on the spot, myself," Applejack said. "Take the treasure, and all that comes with it, or go home to assured safety with nothing but a tall tale of tails? It's practically philosophical. Can I do a observation check on the temple?"

"Roll 'em."

He threw a natural one. "Aw, kibble."

Pinkie Pie laughed. "It's a big temple. Lots of stone. You think there's probably a door somewhere on it. Probably."

Rainbow Dash pressed his muzzle to hers, eyes squinted shrewdly. "C'mon, Pinkie Pie, give us the deets. We all know you wanna tell us."

"You rolled bad, bro. Suck it up."

He sat back, lip sticking out in a pout, only to collide with a very solid and warm belly. Babs Seed leaned over him with ease, panting jovially as she studied the board for hints. "Ooh, ooh, maybe we could-"

"Kids! Where'd you all get to?"

"Up here, mom," Rainbow Dash called.

"Hide me!" Pinkie Pie ducked behind the Rottweiler, burying her nose under her paws. Babs Seed tilted her head to the Side but ultimately shifted to give her friend more room.

"All right, Pinkie Pie?"

Applejack rolled his eyes. "She thinks the world will end if the childs know she likes Poodlewolf."

Fluttershy's head appeared over the rim of the treehouse door. "I'm off to work. I just thought I'd remind you- oh, hello, Babs Seed."

"Hi, Mrs. Dalmatian."

"Anyway." She gave herself a shake. "I just wanted to remind you that chew toy inventory day is coming up. And do pass it on to Pinkie Pie when you see her, will you?"

Rainbow Dash saluted. "Can do. Have a good day at work!"

Fluttershy hardly had time to go back from whence she came before Pinkie Pie crawled out from behind Babs Seed, flopping to the ground with a groan of despair. Rainbow Dash and Applejack echoed it.

Babs Seed looked them over. "With hundreds of childpies, there must be a lot of chew toys."

"Sooo many," said Rainbow Dash. "And there's no way we can collect them all with the childs here. Pinkie Pie, Babs Seed, would you mind taking them to the you-know-what? That should give me'n Applejack enough time to round them up."

"Anything to get out of that."

All in all, watching childpies wasn't quite as hard as it might seem. At least, not to Pinkie Pie's way of doing it, which was to take them to the park and let them loose. They were all trained not to exit its metal gates without asking an older Dalmatian for permission; and very rarely wanted to, for that matter, preferring all the dirt to dig and sticks to chew.

Babs Seed was far less lenient. Her eyes darted all around, desperately seeking out boo-boos. "How do you keep up with them all?" she asked, exasperated.

"I don't," admitted Pinkie Pie with a shrug. "After a while you learn to just watch the white blurs out of the corner of your eye."

"That really works?"

"Usually."

"Ahem," barked out a familiar voice. Twilight padded up with Sunset on his back, both of them soaked, the typical smile on his muzzle. "Didn't quite work this time, doll."

"I almost dug to the bottom of the fountain!" Sunset explained, tail wagging.

"You find anything, buddy?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Water!"

"Water is nice."

Twilight gently shucked Sunset to the ground, then bent down to murmur in his ear. "Y'know, bud, I hear there's a brand new patch'a flowers 'round the east Side of the park. They're just begging to be dug up."

Sunset's eyes grew wide. "I like digging!"

"Then go get 'em!"

The kids took off faster than most had ever seen a kids move, creating a blur of white and black fur. Twilight had a good laugh at his expense as he came up on Pinkie Pie's Side, nudging her shoulder. "Does he even know what east is?"

"Who, Sunset?" She snorted. "I think he's still figuring out up from down."

"My kind of child," said Pippi, appearing on Babs Seed's back with a pawful of acorns. "Don't mind me, just gonna bury some nuts in your fur."

"Oh. Uh, okay?" Babs Seed cocked her head. "Will they stay?"

"That's the experiment!"

A black paw wrapped around Pinkie Pie's shoulders, pulling her close. Twilight smelled of car exhaust and garbage, but it was weirdly nice to her nose- it reminded her of fun, of chasing things and chewing on old tires.

"Say, Pinkie Pie," he said. "How's about you and I go out tonight, huh?"

"Serious?"

"As a heart attack! There's this little shindig up the block from the canal." He waggled his eyebrows. "I hear they're gonna have lots of kibble."

Pippi laughed. "Good luck gettin' any. All sorts of rough types out there. They'd skin your tail as soon as lookatcha."

Twilight ignored the squirrel, flashing her a toothy grin. "Should be lots of fun."

"Yeah? It's been a while since I got to crash a party." Pinkie Pie tail thudded at the thought. "Oh, I'm in!"

Tiny claws sunk into her fur, stopping the wagging motion. Pinkie Pie let out a little yelp as Tommy examined the appendage. She didn't look all that impressed. "Ya' sure she's tough enough fer it?"

"'Course she is," Twilight said. "It's Pinkie Pie."

"Aye, but she's a been bit... pasteurized as of late, isn't she?"

Pinkie Pie whirled around, eyes wide. "Are you callin' me a wuss?"

The rat shrugged. "Didn't say it in those words, but yeah. You used to be way more wild, but now... now you're about as intimidating as a newborn bird."

"Big talk from a living chew toy!" The Dalmatian shoved her muzzle into Tommy's face. Her teeth were bared. "And since when were you the judge on wild and tame, huh? Nobody else thinks that way!" Pippi cleared his throat. Pinkie Pie flinched and stared at him. "You don't, do you?"

He leaned on his acorn, half-buried in Babs Seed's back fur. "Aw, s'nothing against you, doll. But you haven't exactly been wrecking dumpsters like ya' used to."

"Twilight?" Pinkie Pie prompted. The fox didn't respond. Cold water washed down her spine. "Okay, fine, so maybe I'm not as wild as I used to be. But I can be! I'll work real hard at it!"

"Atta girl!" Twilight' paw was around her again. "I trust ya', Pinkie Pie. Yer no soft-coat like D-dawg."

"Yeah," said Tommy. "You've got that going fer ya', at least. No one'll ever find you gushin' over Poodlewolf."

Pinkie Pie sank into the hold, hoping to disappear. "Yeah. Right. Never."

"You don't have to do this, you know."

"Okay, but I kind of do?" Pinkie Pie stopped pulling at her collars long enough to have another quick roll in some dirty laundry. "Jeez, I smell almost halfway decent. Stupid Rainbow Dash and his stupid bath routines. How am I supposed to pass off as a stray now?"

Babs Seed halted her frantic movements with a gentle paw to the back of her shoulders. "Pinkie Pie, I know that peer pressure is a very scary thing, but you shouldn't feel the need to ignore who you really are for others."

Pinkie Pie shook her off. "But I'm not 'ignoring who I really am'. I really do like chewing on stuff and roughhousing and cheap kibble. I wanna go!"

"Yes, but you also like Poodlewolf, and taking care of the childs, and the fancy bath soap the triple Ds got you. That's part of who you are too! The package deal of Pinkie Pie."

The collars finally came loose with a light tinkling of metal. Pinkie Pie carefully stored them under an old blanket that never got washed. "Well, I'm tired of being a package deal. Tonight, it's just gonna be me, Twilight, and a party to destroy."

"Ah," said Babs Seed. "This is about impressing Twilight, then?"

"Stop psychoanalyzing my need to be loved by others and help me rub mud into my fur before you go home."

"How d'ya plan to get out of chew toy stock, anyway?"

"Oh, that's the easy part. Watch." Pinkie Pie dug through another pile of clothes, coming out with a worn squeaky chicken. She carefully tapped a loose tile. "Hey, Sunset? You wanna play a game?"

The child appeared as if summoned by magic, his eyes just peering over the tile. "Can I dig while we play?"

"Sure can!" Pinkie Pie nudged the chicken closer with her nose. "Rainbow Dash and Applejack dared me to hide this toy, and I just know there's no better hider than you, Sunset. Can you dig a super special tunnel for this for me?"

"Hot dog! A special tunnel?" The thud-thud-thud of the child's tail thwapping the dirt walls of his cave was almost deafening. "Can I dig it anywhere?"

"As long as you don't hit a pipe, go nuts!"

Babs Seed watched with equal parts awe and frustration as the toy vanished down below. "That's just not fair. We all know Rainbow Dash won't be able to accept a loss."

"Exactly! He'll be searching for it for weeks." Pinkie Pie booped the Rottweiler's nose. "More than long enough to have a wild night with m'buds."

She giggled, then forced herself to stare straight ahead. "Just because I enjoy the wordplay does not mean I agree with this."

"Love you too, Rox," Pinkie Pie said, giving her a hug for good measure.

"Bow whacka wow!" Heavy paws landed on the lid of a trashcan, sending it swaying. Pinkie Pie proudly displayed multiple splashes of mud across her pelt, smiling ear to floppy ear. "How's this for wild?"

"Eyyyy, there is!" Twilight raised his paws to catch Pinkie Pie as she hopped off, squeezing her for good measure. "That's the Pinkie Pie we know and love, eh guys?"

"Real wild," Pippi agreed with a nod.

Tommy sniffed indifferently. "Still smells like perfume."

"Ah, that's no big deal. We'll just give 'er a dunk in the canal on the way. You lads go on ahead, alright?"

The waters of the Camden Canal were chilly as Pinkie Pie hopped in, but she barely gave it any mind, kicking water onto Twilight when he joined. The fox let out a cackling bark as he dove under, pulling her down by the back paw. She gave him a shove and resurfaced, pushing wet fur out of her eyes.

"This is pretty nice," Pinkie Pie admitted as Twilight poked his muzzle over the waves. "I guess I never realized how much I missed going out at night."

"I know, right?" Twilight swam a half-lap around her, ears poking up like twin shark fins. "We haven't gotten to hang out lately."

"Well, you've been spending so much time with Rainbow Dash." Pinkie Pie began crawling out onto the stone walkway. "I was starting to think... well, that you didn't like me anymore."

"Nah, s'not like that!" He gave her a boost up. "Yer still my number one D-dawg, doll."

"Really?"

"'Course. Lemme make it up to you tonight, alright? This party'll prove it."

It was a surprisingly peaceful walk down the canal as Pinkie Pie and Twilight met up with Pippi and Tommy. Twilight' fluffy tail wound around Pinkie Pie's haunches in a friendly manner, buffering her wet fur from an errant breeze. She gave him a nudge as thanks.

Eventually, they arrived at an old saloon-type building, clearly having been abandoned by humans ages ago. Pinkie Pie saw rats, possums, and small cats alike cramming their way into the Side from a hole in the wall, as if the wooden doors were covered with something unsavory. She could just barely make out the sounds of pool balls and jazz.

"Fancy," she commented.

"Wait'll you see the inSide," Twilight replied, flicking his ears towards the aforementioned doors. "Let's go in, full strut."

"Y'think we could?"

"'Course we can! We're Twilight and Pinkie Pie; we can do whateva we want!"

Tommy snorted and rolled her eyes. "Drama childs. If ya' need me, I'll be by the food."

"Gonna agree with the rat," Pippi added. "S'nothin' personal, of course. Just wanna get as many of them nuts as I can."

Twilight didn't pay them any mind. Didn't even look at them. He just kept on smiling at Pinkie Pie, daring her.

Pinkie Pie smiled right on back. "Let's do it."

It was just as Twilight said; they confidentially strolled inSide and no one seemed to even second glance them. The clang of root beer and kibble made her mouth water as they each took a stool. A mellow song came from the band, which seemed composed almost entirely of cats. A waitress set bowls of kibble down and let them be.

"Not much of a headbanger," Twilight commented, tossing a ball of kibble into his waiting maw. "But it'll do for a bite, eh?"

"Not fancy enough for ya', huh?" commented a new voice beside them. A graying pug in a shirt made finger guns at them, smiling toothily. "Name's Carface. I'm here on business."

Pinkie Pie's ears perked at his drawl. "You're American?"

"You betcha!" Carface set his chin on his paw, sizing her up. "I own a coupla rat racin' rings back in the states. I came over to chat with some old friends about moving house around here. Forgive me for bein' personal, kiddo, but you sound pretty American yerself."

"Oh," Pinkie Pie flushed. "Well, it's not- I mean, I'm from there- but I'm a proper Brit now-a-days. Tea. Royalty. All that stuff."

Carface laughed. "Well, if ya' ever miss it, gimme a call." He plucked a card from nowhere, shoving it into her kibble. "You could be a great stagehand, lassie."

"Lay off, Carface," said the dog next to him. "We're here to party, not for business."

"Alright, alright." He held his paws up in a 'what can you do' gesture. "Don't gotta be so grumpy, Charlie. We're here for fun- not for the jobs."

Charlie snorted. "Hard to have fun with a band like that."

"Ey!" called the lead vocalist. "Don't go flexing on Top Cat unless you wanna get hurt!"

A huge paw wrapped around the cat, bringing him muzzle-to-muzzle with a snarling hound. "I think it sucks, man. You gonna fight me on it?"

"Chillax, DeSoto," rumbled his companion. "This is supposed to be a night on the town."

"It'll still be a night on the town," DeSoto promised. "Just with a little fur in my teeth. Whattaya say, TC?"

"I say we're all entitled to our own opinions on music," replied Top Cat, who promptly slashed him across the muzzle. "And I'm entitled to say yours sucks!"

Twilight let out a low whistle. "Ooh, this is gonna be good!"

Pinkie Pie shoved her bowl into his paws. "Here, hold this."

"Whoa, no need to get involved, doll! This isn't- whelp, too late, there she goes."

The Dalmatian shoved her way between the pinscher and cat, thrusting a foot between them. "The paw means pause!" she barked; and, shocked, they both complied. "Look, did you two really come into this shindig hoping to pick a fight?"

"Yes," said DeSoto.

"Well, that's dumb. Ya'll're strays, just like the rest of us. You gonna go out and sleep in your cold trash cans with scratches, and for what? A stupid music debate?"

The second Doberman cleared his throat behind her. "Are you suggesting... what? We don't fight? Peace and love and childpies? Because, sweetheart, we aren't-"

"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm telling ya'll that tonight would be loads more fun if you nixed the stupid quarrelling and settled in for a bunch of stupid contests." Pinkie Pie waved her paws around, as if trying to make the idea more magical. "They're safer and you can hold meaningless points above everyone else's heads!"

"Simple, but destructive," murmured the other. "I like it. Let 'em go, DeSoto."

DeSoto sneered at Top Cat, but loosened his grip. "Whateva you say, Roscoe."

Top Cat brushed his vest off. "Thanks, kid. You seem alright."

"Oh." Pinkie Pie's face went red. "Um, thanks? I- I've just got. Like. A lot of siblings, so... breaking up fights is like... the thing?"

He sent her a finger gun. "Sweet. Come by later, huh? The boys and I'll show ya' some strings."

"Sounds great!" Pinkie Pie hesitated. "I, uh, I gotta get back to my friends. I'll see you then!"

She gleefully hopped down and padded back over from whence she came, tail high. Pinkie Pie couldn't help but feel like she'd won something big, even though she was fairly sure most anyone could've done the same. Twilight held his paw out to help her back up, but she noticed with some surprise that he was frowning.

"Ya'llright, doll?" he asked. "That was mighty dumb of ya'."

"I'm fine. It was a piece of cake." She popped some kibble into her mouth. "No one ever wants to end a party."

"Ya... kinda just did, doll?" Twilight pointed at DeSoto and Top Cat, now awkwardly trying to start a pool game. "And ye've ruined the entertainment."

Pinkie Pie swallowed hard. The kibble slid down her throat slow and painful. "I was just... doing my thing, you know? I didn't think it'd be bad."

"It wasn't bad, per se, just..." He took a long sip of root beer rather than go on.

"Pasteurized?" she pressed. Twilight didn't respond. "I just thought we were coming out for a fun snack and game night, Twilight. That's what parties are for."

"Yeah, if yer a house pet."

Pinkie Pie flinched. As if to add insult to injury, tears began to well up in her eyes. "Well, I'm sorry for wanting us to have a nice night out, then! Maybe I should just go home."

Twilight reached out for her. "Hey, no, no, I want ye to stay, Pinkie Pie."

"As long I'm wild in the exact specific way you want me to be wild?" she shot back. Pinkie Pie hopped off the stool, leaving it rocking in her wake. "Babs Seed was right. This isn't me. And I'm not gonna lie just so you'll hang out with me."

"Pinkie Pie-" Twilight started, then stopped. He didn't look keen on following her.

"See you around the park, dude," she said, and then she was gone.

Walking at night was a lot more frightening alone. The clouds had become overcast, making the sky even darker. Pinkie Pie clung to streetlights alongSide the canal to keep herself brave, though she moved at a snail's pace. Snorts and sniffles escaped her nose from time to time as she struggled to keep her composure.

"Pinkie Pie Dalmatian," announced someone far more comforting than Pinkie Pie expected them to be. Annika trotted up beside her with her usual serious face. "Out a bit late, aren't we?"

"Yeeeah," she admitted. "I got a little lost getting home."

"S'that so?" Annika swung her nose behind them. "Not comin' from that party, are ya?"

"It's not much of a party."

"It's enough to get a noise complaint. Something 'bout cats howling." The horse lowered her neck. "Hop on. I'll take ya home."

Pinkie Pie's face scrunched up. "You're not gonna tell on me, are you?"

"Fer what? Getting lost on your way home from a party you definitely didn't go to?" She winked at her. "Nothin' to tell, dear. Unless ye do it again. Don't do it again."

"Yes, ma'am."

101 Dalmatian Street was a quick trot for Annika; who, Pinkie Pie soon learned, was out late mostly out of boredom than any real need, as her human had retired for the night. The horse blew a whinny and a warning after Pinkie Pie- so tired was she, she didn't even argue, agreeing to stay out of trouble with no real heat. No one greeted her as she hopped inSide, revealing the almost ghost-like visage of her entryway. Pinkie Pie sighed with relief and headed for the stairs.

A tile went wonky under one of her feet, and then Sunset's sleepy little muzzle was poking out, the rubber chicken in his teeth. "Pinkie Pie! Did I win?"

Pinkie Pie huffed out a watery laugh. "Yeah, buddy. You won." She bent down to retrieve him from that hole, knowing his little den was a separate tunnel all together. "What're you doing up so late?"

"I was waiting for you!"

"Aww, you didn't have to do that." She licked his head, ignoring the grit of dirt that came with the affection. "You go get yourself some sleep, alright? I'll give you and extra little snack during breakfast."

Sunset's tail began to wag. "You mean a tr-"

"Shhh! It's too late for trigger words." She paused. "But yeah, it's absolutely one of those."

Satisfied, Sunset tottered off, no doubt mere moments away from falling into a deep sleep.

Pinkie Pie took the steps two at a time, getting to the top with a long sigh. Tip-toeing over various childpies was second nature at this point, and soon she was in the bedroom, then in her special nest. She buried her muzzle in the pillow a long moment, trying to find the energy to cover herself up.

She felt ridculious. And stupid.

"Pinkie Pie?"

She flinched, rubbing her face to rid it of any tears. "Diamond Tiara? Sliver Spoon? What're you doin' up?"

"Rainbow Dash was running around, looking for a chicken," reported Sliver Spoon. "Are you... crying?"

"Who, me?" Pinkie Pie forced herself to laugh. "Nah, I'm just... um..."

Diamond Tiara sniffed at her. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Pinkie Pie pulled the childpies closer, tucking all of them under the blanket. "I guess I did, you little fluffballs. Now, why don't ya keep me company?"

She awoke to the bedroom empty. Pinkie Pie wasn't sure which surprised her more, if she was being honest; sleeping through the breakfast brigade, or Rainbow Dash not shaking her awake himself. She stretched and rolled over, soaking in the relatively quiet morning.

"Finally up?"

"KIBBLES AND BITS," she yelped, clutching at her chest. Speak of the devil. Rainbow Dash lounged on the shelf above her with that smirk he got whenever he felt like he won. "What the rawhide, dude?"

"Heard you had a nightmare." He hopped down beside her. "But I figured it was something a bit more serious, so I had Applejack take over feeding this morning." He stretched an eyelid wide with a hum. "Not suffering from a sugar hangover... how much root beer did you drink?"

Pinkie Pie jerked her head away. "None."

"Yeah, right."

"I'm serious, bro! I… left pretty quick, actually." Pinkie Pie shuffled her feet. She didn't want to tell Rainbow Dash what happened. He either went in two ways with this sort of thing- smug teasing or overprotective jerk. "Wasn't my style."

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Sliver Spoon told me you were crying."

Pinkie Pie flinched. "Little snitch!"

The Top Dog sniffed at her fur, no doubt trying to pinpoint the problem. "What happened?"

"Nothing, okay?" She shoved his nose away, embarrassed. "Twilight and I... just didn't feel like it."

Rainbow Dash's ears perked suspiciously. "Twilight! His scent is cold. He didn't even walk you home, did he?" He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Typical Twilight."

"I left early. He stayed. It wasn't a big deal, alright? Annika helped me find my way." She leapt to the floor with a bunching of her haunches, leaving the dog in her metaphorical dust. "I'm hungry."

Rarity poked his head around the door frame, a food bowl at his feet. "Then I've come at the right time!" The kids nosed it closer. "I've brought you a special bowl of my organic, grain-free kibble! It will help realign your chi after a bad night's sleep."

"Oh." Pinkie Pie stared at it, shocked. Normally, this was her job; comforting sad or scared Dalmatians. It seemed Rarity wanted to turn the tables on her. "Thanks, man. That means a lot."

"Rest well, dear sister!" he yipped, the tip of his tongue sticking out in pride. "If you're feeling up to it, I'll set a special mat aSide for you in the backyard."

"That sounds... great!" She smiled uncomfortably wide. Pinkie Pie liked a good bit of yoga as much as the next dog, but meditation wasn't really easy for her. She liked moving too much. "I'll see you there, guru kitty."

Rarity bowed and trotted away, tail wagging.

"Well, there goes that distraction." Rainbow Dash was by her Side again, and looking just as insistent. "What happened with Twilight?"

"Nothing happened with Twilight." The colorful bits in the food bowl caught her eye. It was easier than meeting his. "He just... doesn't like me anymore."

Rainbow Dash cocked his head to the Side. "Why wouldn't he like you? You're best friends."

"Yeah, well." Pinkie Pie grabbed herself a mouthful of brunch. "I'm not wild enough for him and his friends now, because I like Poodlewolf and fancy shampoo and I don't like watching dogs fight and-"

"Hey, hey! Slow down a second." Rainbow Dash held a paw in front of himself as a stop sign. "I didn't think any of that mattered to him. I mean, he likes me, doesn't he?"

"It's different with you," she said. "You're his nerd friend. I'm supposed to be his wild friend. But I couldn't even do that."

"You're way wild! I once watched you eat an entire rack of shoes, throw up, and eat a second rack of shoes!" Rainbow Dash said. "If Twilight doesn't think that's wild, then he's the problem."

"I guess," she allowed, ignoring the warmth in her belly. It still hurt, but it was always nice to see the sheer amount of support she had within her family.

"Good." He gave her an awkward pat on the head for good measure. It was a great tactic for the childs. Not so much Pinkie Pie, who jokingly nipped at it. "Finish up your breakfast and stop the moping, alright? We're goin' to the park." Rainbow Dash gave her Side a jab. "Bring the collars and I might just let you chase some cars."

"Hmm, I'll conSider it."

"Treats!" howled Sunset, bone in his teeth, as he dived deep below the surface in what was one of many tunnels he'd made under Annika's watch. The CMC followed close behind, each slamming their paws down the hole to try and catch him. It was to no avail.

"Babs Seed, I can't breathe." Pinkie Pie struggled to get her nose out from under the swallowing hug of the Rottweiler. "I'll be fine, I promise."

"Nonsense!" Babs Seed hugged her even tighter. "You've had a rough day, Pinkie Pie. You deserve some affection."

"She had a rough day?" Applejack scoffed. "I had to stay up 'till two, looking for that blasted chew toy with Rainbow Dash."

A brown paw wrapped around the Dalmatian, dragging him in. Babs Seed panted happily. "Lots of cuddles to go around!"

Rainbow Dash edged away. "I'll pass, thanks," he said, eyeing her drool. "CMC! Stop trying to jab Sunset!"

Applebloom let go of the stick they were shoving down the hole. "How else we gonna get that bone?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle added. "He should share!"

"Yeah, share!" Scootaloo let out a cackling laugh. "Share all of it!"

"Oi! Listen to yer siblings, lads." Twilight slunk out of a nearby bush with a surprisingly serious tilt to his muzzle, staring down the triplets. "S' bad manners to steal another child's snack. Why dontcha go digging through the trash cans fer three of yer own?"

"Fine," the childs whined in tandem, slinking away. Scootaloo stuck his tongue out behind them.

Twilight watched them go before facing a quartet of less-than-happy faces. "Wassup?"

"'Wassup' is that you need to find a new part of the park to sleaze in!" Rainbow Dash went nose-to-nose with Twilight, chest puffed out. Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You think you can just walk up and-"

Twilight stepped on top of Rainbow Dash, squishing him into the dirt. With a hop he was in front of Pinkie Pie, ears lowering. "Pinkie Pie, I'm sorry."

"Yeah?" said Pinkie Pie. "Thanks."

"I just wanted it to be like the old times, yeah?" he went on. "And it wasn't."

"Yeah," she repeated, looking at her paws.

"So what?" Babs Seed broke in, head tilted to the Side. "You two aren't the old times Pinkie Pie and Twilight! The old times Pinkie Pie never would've tried Poodlewolf, and you never would've taken care of the childs like you do. That's just who you are now!"

Twilight blinked at Pinkie Pie. "You like Poodlewolf?"

"I... Kennel Master. Sometimes."

"Sweet."

"And you like kidssitting? I always thought you just kinda. Went with it."

"Nah, Doll. It's fun watchin' the little rascals tear the house apart." Twilight suddenly found his own paws just as interesting, tail flicking Side to Side anxiously. "I know it's not very wild of me."

"Oh, quit pretending you're both normal," spat Rainbow Dash, wiping dirt off his nose. "You're both wild weirdos. So what if you're a little less wild then before? You still eat shoes and garbage and generally make my life harder. Quit being a bunch of babies and hug it out."

"Hug?" Twilight scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Pinkie Pie, tell D-dawg over here that we don't-"

The fox was stopped by two solid paws around his neck. Pinkie Pie gave him a solid squeeze and a delighted hum. Twilight stiffened, then loosened, smiling stupidly into her shoulder fur. "Thanks, doll," he whispered. "You're a right fine friend."

"You all round the top of the steps. The temple looms before you, white stone and gold engravings, with a single, open doorway. A deep darkness comes from within, as if the inSide holds something that has never known light before."

"Impossible," Applejack said. "The cracks in the stone would eventually-"

Twilight set a black paw on the child's head, ruffing the fur there. "Dude, it's a mythical world. Let the weird light physics happen."

Applejack pouted.

"Something shifts from within," hissed Pinkie Pie, making them all hunker down. "Heavy, shuffling boots thud-thud-thud up vast hallways as it nears. From the shadows come a beast as tall as a bear. It has wiggly paws and a thick, yellow coat. It smells like chemicals. It raises a net high above its head."

"No," whispered Rainbow Dash. "It can't be!"

"But it is." Pinkie Pie sent him a cheeky look. "It decrees, 'It is I! The Worldender! The Populous Controller! The Dog Catcher! Now, thanks to thousands of years of nothingness, I've come to hunger more than just the dogs that hound fire hydrants. I've come to hunger for... Poodlewolves!' It lunged toward you, and all goes to black. The end."

"Pinkie Pie!" Babs Seed cried, slamming her paw on the table. "You can't just leave us like that!"

"Sorry, Rox, but the next mission of the campaign has to wait until I learn the proper chords for theme music." Pinkie Pie studied her claws. "Top Cat's been giving me lessons, so it should only be... a couple weeks?"

"I refuse to not play Poodlewolf for a couple of weeks! We have to implement a Side quest."

"Side quest? Sure, why not," Pinkie Pie said. "Twilight, you wanna give it a go?"

Twilight's eyes grew wide. "Me? Kennel Master?"

"Why not? We all know you can spin a great tall tale." Rainbow Dash gave the fox a nudge towards the head of the table, where Pinkie Pie sat. She shifted over so he could take place beside her. "I'm sure Pinkie Pie can give you a few hints."

"Well, I have had a coupla ideas..." he started, looking surprisingly bashful. "Whattaya say, D-dawg?"

Pinkie Pie smiled. "Sounds like a party."