One day Henry VIII was sitting on his throne.

"Ugh, I need to divorce my wife UGH."

He hated his wife. He took out his cellphone and called the police.

"I need my wife killed," he explained.

"You've come to the wrong place. You need to call the Catholic Church."

"Oh sorry," said Henry VIII. "My bad."

So he called the Catholic Church.

"Need the wife killed," he said.

"No," said the pope. "You can't kill your wife or divorce her."

King Henry got really red in the face. He broke his cellphone against the wall and paced around in a huff.

"What can I do?" he murmured, looking down his nose and walking back and forth.

Just then he had an idea and snapped his fingers.

"Of course! My time machine!"

He used his time machine to go to the future and enlist the aid of John Tudors.

"John Tudors, you are the world's greatest attorney. We even know of you in the past. Please, sue my wife so I can marry Anne Boleyn!"

John Tudors put his feet up on his desk and folded his arms. "What's in it for me?"

Henry VIII took a treasure chest out of his pocket and dropped it on the desk.

"All the treasures of my royal pants, my good fellow."

John Tudors shot up in his seat and rubbed his chin. An enticing offer!

They went back in time and put Catherine on trial.

"Foul wench," said Henry VIII, "you didn't give me a male heir. I must divorce you."

"HOLD IT," said the Catholic Church. "But you can't do that."

"OBJECTION!" said John Tudors. "You're right. That's why we must make a compromise. I must be made king and given all the treasure."

"That is fair and just," said Catholic Church, nodding his head sagely. "I rule in favor of John Tudors."

"YAAAAAAY!" said everyone.

Later, at the castle...

"John Tudors, you've done it again," said Henry VIII. "Now that I'm not king I don't have to worry about producing a male heir. Now I can focus on not divorcing my wife. You can marry Anne Boleyn now if you want." He presented her to the new king.

"Hmm... no." John Tudors thought she looked like an STD-filled whore, He would never make her his queen. He pulled a chain next to his throne and a trapdoor opened and sent her to the dungeon for safekeeping. He had a feeling she was a threat to the kingdom.

Just then an urgent letter from the future arrived!

"John Tudors, it's me, your Uncle! Uncle Tudors!" said the letter. "I have bad news! You see..."

THE END