This is my first foray into Virgin River fanfic, because I just adore Mel and Jack as a couple. I love the dynamic from 3x02 of Jack and Mel discussing him staying with her, but I wanted a bit more to it, so I wrote it. This is set directly after the conversation about Mel buying Jack clothes and him finally accepting the invitation to stay, and pretends that Jack didn't go back to the bar and Lily didn't turn up at Mel's door. I hope you enjoy it.
The title for this fic and the first line comes from the song Hurricane by Tommee Profitt & Fleurie and was inspired by a beautiful fanvid at watch?v=HXhWiWWh8-4&t=23s
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Though I am breaking down again, I am aching now to let you in.
They're lying in her bed, just staring at each other. She studies the lines on his face, the softness in his eyes as he looks back at her, while his thumb runs a comforting pattern over her cheekbone.
"I'm really glad you decided to stay." She murmurs, not wanting to break the moment with too loud of a sound.
The edges of his mouth curl upwards. "Me too. I'm sorry I was being weird about it earlier. I just …" His voice trails off.
"It's ok." She says softly. "I know how proud and self-reliant you are, Jack. It's something I really admire about you. But I told you that you don't need to put on a brave face for me. I really meant that."
He sighs. "I know, I believe you. It's just …"
"Hard." She supplies.
He smiles ruefully, nodding his head. "Yeah."
She sighs softly and wriggles forward a touch until they're so close, they're practically nose to nose. Her hand reaches up to stroke at the stubble on his jawline, as she so often does in their private moments.
"I love you."
"I know baby, I love you too." He smiles.
She smiles back before her expression returns to a serious one. "I won't stop loving you just because you're vulnerable with me."
His breath catches in his throat.
She continues. "You don't have to be strong all the time. Letting down your guard doesn't mean you're weak. And it certainly won't make me think any less of you, okay?"
He breathes out slowly, looking deep in her eyes.
"Okay."
Something in her gaze flickers, and she tilts her head to connect their lips, resting her forehead against his when she pulls back.
"So, I'm not saying you have to stay forever at this point, but I don't want you to leave. Does that make sense?" She asks hesitantly.
He smiles again, brighter this time. "Yeah. It does."
She smiles back, feeling the last inch of tension leave her body. "Good."
"Good." He echoes, kissing her again. "Thank you, again."
"Any time." She answers easily, before her gaze drops to the blankets beneath them. "I like having you here anyway. A lot's happened lately and knowing you're safe means I don't worry as much."
His heart clenches. "Mel …"
She lifts her eyes back to him, and he can see she's being as vulnerable as she asked him to be. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to put that on you."
"Hey." He whispers roughly. "You don't have to apologise for that, ever. I'm the one who should be sorry, for causing you so much worry."
"That's not your fault." She says instantly.
"It's not yours either." He counters.
She takes in a deep breath and lets it out, ragged and stuttered. Jack's heart falls again when he realises there are tears in her eyes.
"Hey." He whispers. "Come here."
She crawls into the safety of his arms, resting her head against his strong chest.
Her gasping voice cuts through the silence.
"I can't lose you, too."
He grips her tighter, as if he can shield her from the pain of the world with his arms alone. The feel of her shaking against him makes him truly understand.
"When I couldn't find you, it felt like I couldn't breathe."
"I'm right here, baby. I'm not going anywhere." He promises.
"You've said that before, and then someone shot you." She cries.
"I know, I'm so sorry." He says soothingly. "I know you've been so strong and holding it together since then, but you don't have to do that anymore. I'm right here with you, and if anyone tries to take me, they're going to have to drag me away. I never want to leave you."
"I don't want you to leave either. If I lost you, that would honestly be it."
"You know you're one of the reasons I'm still standing?"
"Well, I don't want you to worry about that. We can't live our lives waiting for the other shoe to drop."
She nods against his chest. "I know."
He sighs deeply, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Let's get some sleep, hey? Things will seem better in the morning."
"Okay." She agrees softly, allowing her eyes to drift closed.
Unfortunately, her dreams are anything but sweet.
White walls surround her. White on white everything. Funny, since all she can see is the red on her hands. It stands out even more against all the white.
Jack.
He can't leave her.
She can't go through this again.
She runs towards the door they took him through. She knows she shouldn't be there but maybe she can help. She can't just sit in the waiting room and wait for him to die.
She freezes in the doorway. The sight of the man she loves lying on a table, beside a machine with a flat line and a persistent beep, steals the breath from her chest. She crumples to her knees, heaviness overtaking her.
"JACK!"
Mel comes to with a jolt, gasping and crying uncontrollably. Her heart beats so quickly she feels she could die, like it's going to explode out of her chest. She clutches at her sternum desperately. She hasn't even realised she wasn't only screaming in her dream until she feels his warm presence beside her.
"Hey, it's okay, baby. I'm right here."
His voice is soothing as he takes her in his arms. She sags against him with a sob.
"Deep breaths for me Mel, like this." He breathes in and out slowly, prompting her to copy him.
She's still bent over her drawn up knees as she leans against him, face down and shuddering. He rests his head against hers and just keeps breathing deeply, his large palm rubbing her back.
"You're okay. It was just a dream. I'm right here with you."
"But it actually happened!" She cries. "You coded in that hospital, and I thought you were dead!"
Jack's eyes fill with tears at witnessing her pain. He's never seen her like this, even when she was grieving Mark and the loss of her daughter. Her emotions are out of control and it's completely his fault.
"I'm so sorry." He chokes out. "I hate that you had to see me like that, and I wish I could take it all away."
"It's not your fault Jack, but I just can't get it out of my head." Mel sobs. "I feel like I'm losing my mind every time I think of it."
Jack swallows the lump in his throat. "Come here," he begs, pulling her into his lap and encircling his arms around her. "I love you."
She sags against him, her hands gripping tightly to his shirt.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He whispers over and over again as she continues to cry.
Neither of them knows how long they sit there, clutching at each other. Eventually they shift back to a laid down position, still in each other's arms.
"I don't know how to make this better for you." Jack whispers. "I wish I could take the pain away."
"Me too." Mel murmurs back. "I guess it's just time, like everything else."
She stares up at him, her cheeks damp but eyes dry, a look of steely determination on her face.
"You being here helps." She promises. "We can get past this."
Jack blinks back his own tears at her strength. He leans forward and connects his lips to hers.
"You're amazing, you know that?"
She tries to shrug him off but he won't let her.
"I'm serious, Mel. You're so strong and so supportive of me. But I'm here for you too."
"I know that." She murmurs. "You're always here for me. The most dependable person I know." She smoothes a hand over his chest at her words. "That's part of why I love you."
A small smile breaks free, despite their difficult evening. He has complete faith in them that they can get through this.
He reaches down and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you too."
He keeps her tucked in against him as she gradually falls back to sleep, before following her into dreamland.