Chapter 1: A Simple Dream
There was a groan of metal–a teetering bellow as it stressed and bent–followed by a jolt and whirring colors passing through the small visor-like window in the entry plug. If she could describe what she saw, it was like flashing hazes of red reflecting off mirrors and spinning around her sight. She didn't even have time to process how she had arrived in the plug seat, wearing only her navy green jacket and underwear before the capsule jolted once again, as something pulled it suddenly upward and then slowed its momentum drastically, throwing Asuka down to the front. Crashing into the bottom, her head smashed into the side, her vision turning black.
The surroundings were hazy when she awoke, and, given the lack of color at opening her eyes again, she thought she was back in the dark, grey concrete underbelly of the Gehirn headquarters, walls suffocating her in memories of cold claustrophobia and harrowing loneliness. When her head stopped buzzing, enough for her eyes to bring everything into focus, she realized the familiar scene of Kensuke's guest bedroom. Across the room the door was slightly ajar, leaving a view of the large tool rack Kensuke kept. Light crept tentatively through the blinds, basking the room in a subtle morning glow. Asuka sighed, and sat up, a brief sharp pain racking her head.
She pulled her hand away gingerly, looking at it. Her fingers were longer. As her eyes trailed down the bed she noticed that her covered legs now reached all the way towards the end. So it wasn't all a dream. He had really-
"You're awake," Kensuke said, wiping his hands with a white rag. He stood in the doorway, eyeing her for a second and then smiling, wearing the same vest he always did.
"Yeah," Asuka said, "Feel terrible, though."
Kensuke nodded and turned, his footsteps moving down the hall. A few seconds later he came back with a half filled glass of water and offered it to Asuka. She looked at it blankly, then grabbed it, gulped it down, and collapsed back onto the bed just a little too fast. Her head buzzed again, sending her seeing spots in her eyes.
"What happened?" Asuka asked.
Kensuke pulled out a chair from the desk across the room, put it next to Asuka's bedside, and sat down, "You came back two days ago."
"Came back?"
"From your mission. Found you in the plug just outside of town."
"Did we win?"
"Yes," Kensuke nodded.
"And the world?"
Kensuke broke his gaze with her and looked at the corner of the room, "It's better."
"But he," Asuka's throat caught, "He fixed it. All of it, right?"
"I don't know what Shinji did," Kensuke said, "But those lights in the sky blipped out all at once. The failures of infinity disappeared, things settled down, and here we are. Still have L-contamination, though."
Asuka sighed.
"Where's Shinji?" Kensuke asked.
"Gone. Don't know where," Asuka said.
"Hmm," Kensuke got up, "That's too bad."
Asuka remained silent. Kensuke went to the door, placing one hand on the frame.
"He says 'hello'," Asuka said.
Kensuke nodded, "That's good to know. Rest up. We leave tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Asuka sat up, "I just woke up."
Kensuke laughed, "You can't possibly want to stay here."
Asuka looked down at the sheets and realized he was right. She probably wouldn't, even if she tried. What would that make of her? Just running away again. Shinji had finally found some semblance of courage to face his consequences, but what about her? Asuka shook her head.
She croaked, "I don't want to-"
"I know," Kensuke said, "I know. Your usual clothes are over there."
Kensuke pointed to a small end table across from the bed, "I got you some new stuff. That fits you now that you've," he paused, "Changed. Up to you if you want to wear it."
Kensuke exited the room and a few moments later Asuka heard the front door open and close as he left for the day. Finally, Asuka got up, stumbling over to the end table and opening the top drawer. Inside was her navy green jacket, folded neatly. She picked it up, looking at it, studying the fabric intently. She let it fall to the floor and opened up the other drawer. There were some black shorts and a white t-shirt inside. Asuka sighed, not remembering the last time she had bothered to actually get dressed for the day. Most of the time, she'd crawl out of bed and throw on her jacket after a night of feigning sleep, making false promises to herself that she would go out, but ultimately spending most of her time sitting around the house, still in her jacket.
After getting dressed, Asuka quickly went out the door to catch up with Kensuke. Luckily, he hadn't taken the car out for the day, probably only going to make a quick trip into town. Her head still throbbed a little, but it wasn't too bad if she took things slow.
As always, the town was quite alive in the morning, with people carrying baskets on their backs filled with vegetables and stray cats strutting across the dirt roads that snaked their way between the stitched shacks and dilapidated ruins of the village. Asuka passed the red, blue, and green Kredit shipping crates whose doors were open and contents emptied probably from days or weeks prior. The familiar train wheelhouse sat idly in the center of town, it's rusted brown metal tinting slightly green in the light. Old wooden planks creaked and groaned in the old train house that housed gutted chassis and spare parts that would probably never see use again.
The villagers stared at Asuka, and she had the sudden urge to stuff her hands into her pockets, pull up her hood, and lower her head, but she was no longer wearing her jacket and it felt weird to stoop her neck given her newfound height. Instead, she let her hair fall in front of her eyes and continued walking. There was some commotion behind her and the sound of dirt kicking up as someone jogged up briskly towards her.
A boy with dark hair jogged up beside her. He was dressed in a white hazard suit that those at the L-containment field labs wore. "You're Major Shikinami, right?" He asked.
Asuka looked at him in the corner of her eye, but remained silent as she continued on her way.
"Heard you were a part of Wille. You guys saved us, that's what everyone says."
"I am a part of Wille," Asuka said.
"Right, right," The boy said, "I wish I could've been there to see what happened. I only heard about it."
"Nothing much happened," Asuka shrugged, "You didn't miss out."
"I doubt it," the boy reached his hand out, "Name's Kaji. I've seen you before, but I don't think I've ever introduced myself."
Asuka reached out and shook his hand slowly, "Just call me Asuka."
"Okay Major Asuka," Kaji said.
"Drop the title. It's not funny."
"Sorry," Kaji scratched the back of his head, "Where're you headed?"
"To town," Asuka said.
"We're in town."
"I know."
They continued to walk in silence. Asuka wondered what had become of Wille. Was it even still intact? And where was Commander Katsuragi? Question after question bombarded her mind, but one lingered there, always finding its way to the surface. Would she want to go back? They had strapped a bomb collar to her neck and made her their errand girl for anything Eva related. Not like she had much choice. Asuka's thoughts were interrupted as a woman's wailing cries pierced her ears.
Kensuke was sitting on a knee next to an older looking woman on a bench who held her head in her hands. Asuka trotted over and, as if picking up on the queue, Kaji followed.
"She's gone," the old woman said, "I woke up this morning and she was just gone."
Kensuke leaned in, "Where do you think she could've gone?"
"I don't know," the woman said, "God, I don't know."
Asuka put her hands on her hips, "What's going on here?"
Kensuke looked up, surprised for a moment, but turned back to the woman, "Her daughter's missing. Doesn't know where she went."
"Could've been kidnapped," Asuka said. Kensuke shot her a glare and Asuka dropped her hands to her side, "Sorry."
"Is there anything you think might reveal where she went?" Kensuke asked.
"I'm not sure," the woman said, "There might be in her room. She was always talking about a place called Ume, Ume-"
Asuka perked up, "Umeda. The train yard to the West of town."
"Yes! That's it." The woman said, "She must've gone there. She was always talking about it."
Kensuke nodded towards Asuka, "You know the place. Can you go?"
"What? Me?" Asuka looked at him, then at the woman. The way she hung her head and her shoulders sagged in defeat reminded her of someone. Someone from not too long ago. She looked up, examining her surroundings. She had been to the train yard a few times, usually on nights when sitting in bed staring at the ceiling was far too boring.
"Fine," Asuka said.
"Thank you," Kensuke put a hand on the woman's back, "We'll get your daughter back."
Asuka turned and jogged off, but another pair of footsteps followed her. Kaji was running next to her.
"What're you doing?" Asuka asked.
"Coming with you."
Asuka didn't waste her energy protesting any more. They continued to sprint across town, dodging passerbys until they reached the large winding dirt road that went down near the floating radio tower that was locked in a perpetual spinning motion. Their feet kicked up mud as they splashed through the drowned weed gardens, eventually making it past the western hills and arriving at the train yard.
There were a few trains, collapsed on their sides and having been stripped of parts, metal carcasses of a time long past. Asuka ducked through a shattered doorway into a small white house. There were keys on a rack opposite the room, and the windows were dusted with such a thick layer that they almost became opaque. Cobwebs flaked across the ceiling, drooping and swaying as Asuka brushed past. On the wall was a poster of a family, smiling as they boarded a train with the words, "Keio Corporation," etched in elegant lettering at the bottom.
They all had dreams once, even her, though, it had been so long she forgot what it even was. Instinctually, she reached her hand towards her left eye and felt it. There was a small reflective piece of metal on the floor. Asuka picked it up and looked at herself. Her eye was there, completely, blue like the other, showing no signs of angel contamination. It almost frightened her for a second. She was so used to seeing the eye patch, the soulless pitch black piece of cloth, that seeing her face in full felt alien. She looked at it a little closer, almost expecting the infected angel matter to spring out of it and pop her eye like a grape, but nothing happened. The room was static, even the air. All the dust had settled, and there, in the middle, sat Asuka, motionless.
"Asuka!" A voice called out for her, muffled through the walls of the building, "Asuka!"
She dropped the piece of metal and went outside, seeing Kaji waving at her. Jogging briskly over, she realized why he had been shouting. There was a piece of bloodstained cloth whipping in the wind by a jutting piece of a metal sign that had been cut in half.
"Looks fresh," Asuka said, squatting and inspecting the scene, "Can't be far."
"I'll go over there," Kaji said, pointing to an entrance where a double door once stood. Now the entryway was vacant and the faint glimmers of light beating through the second floor windows of the warehouse cast shadows that waited inside. Asuka nodded and headed in the opposite direction, to the large blue automatic door that opened when trains needed to leave the repair house. She jumped over other pieces of treacherous metal and glass that poked out of the ground like jagged teeth. Inside, Asuka negotiated a creaking walkway with care, not pressing too much on it. A few feet in front of her, there was a gap where part of the walkway had fallen off and only the rail dangled loosely from the end. On the other side was the control room. The edge looked loose, but given Asuka's small stature she reckoned she could make the jump without putting too much force on the metal. She jumped and the floor gave in.
Asuka let out a scream that was shortly cut off as her back collided with the ground. Her body shook as the wind was knocked out of her and she rolled onto her side, grabbing at her abdomen. She had forgotten again. Her body had changed, and with it, her weight. She'd have to get used to that. A pair of eyes peered at her, basked half in shadow under the stairs a few feet away. Asuka scampered to her feet, still catching her breath through labored pants, and looked at the girl who sat there.
"Are you okay?" The girl said.
Asuka braced her hands on her knees, coughing, "Fine."
"Did you get sick of it too?"
"Sick of what?"
"The village," the girl said, "I'm Shuri."
Asuka motioned for the girl to come to her, "Come on. I'm taking you back."
"What? No!" The girl got up, her tattered dress fluttering around her, "I'm not going back!"
Shuri turned and bolted towards the stairs, going up them two at a time. Asuka groaned and went after her. The girl was surprisingly fast given her age. Either that, or, unlike Asuka, she didn't care if the stability of the structures she ran too was completely intact. They ducked underneath pieces of plywood and crates that hung at awkward angles. Finally, Shuri reached the end of a walkway where the entire side of the building had collapsed. The sun shone brightly on the broken remains of the warehouse. They were about ten feet in the air, but the ground below loomed with sharp bits of glass and impending tetanus of rusted metal. Shuri was at the edge, holding onto a railing, her legs shaking.
"I'm not going back," she whined, "I can't."
"Stop crying," Asuka growled, "You've caused me enough trouble."
Her comment only made the girl back up more, getting dangerously close to falling.
"Stop!" Asuka shouted, "Come here!"
The girl shook her head, tears in her eyes. Asuka would have to try something else. But what? What could she do? She winced and lowered her voice as best she could, easing off any sense of anger she could.
"Why don't you want to come back?" Asuka asked.
"I have dreams too!" The girl said, "I do!"
"Dreams? What dreams?"
The girl waved her one free hand, the one not clutching to the railing for dear life, "To go out in the world. To find Souta."
"Souta?"
"My brother. He went exploring, I want to find him."
"How long ago was that?"
"Three years," the girl said, "I know he's out there. He had dreams."
Asuka looked at the ground. The girl was too naive to understand. If he left the village he wouldn't have survived. Even with an L-containment suit of some kind there wouldn't be enough food in the wasteland. Asuka opened her mouth, but stopped herself. She could tell Shuri her brother was dead, but something wouldn't let her. Instead she said, "What's your dream?"
"To get out of here," the girl said, "To get out of this village."
"It's comfy here."
"But I want to see more. I don't want this to be all I know."
Asuka looked her in the eyes, startled by the girl's response. She straightened up, "Then don't give up on your dream. Just understand that you aren't ready."
"Not ready?"
Asuka groaned, "You're still too young. Get a little older and then do what you want. But for now, get away from that ledge."
The girl took a step forward and paused, "You're going to take me back?"
"Just for a little bit. I can talk to your parents about what you said. Sometimes-" Asuka stopped and gulped, "Sometimes you have to let people know what you want. Otherwise you'll always be unhappy."
"You promise?" The girl asked.
"Yeah," Asuka said, "Now come on."
The girl nodded and stepped forward. The ground gave way. Asuka leapt forward trying to catch her arm, but the girl plummeted below. Asuka winced, waiting for the thud as the girl's body hit the floor, but none came. She crawled towards the edge and peered over. Kaji stood there, holding the girl in his arms and setting her down to the ground. Asuka rolled onto her side and exhaled.
As they walked back Asuka turned to Kaji who held the small girl in his arms. She had fainted from the fall, but otherwise she came out of it unscathed.
"How'd you know?" Asuka asked.
"Heard the shouts. Went on over and she nearly crushed me," Kaji said.
"Too bad she didn't."
"Hey!" Kaji stopped, "That's not funny."
Asuka shrugged, "It was to me."
They continued forward, dodging the chipped and cracked ground.
"Do you have dreams?" Asuka asked.
Kaji looked up at the sky, thinking in solemn silence, "I don't know."
"Come on," Asuka said.
"I don't really know," Kaji shook his head, "I guess I'd like to meet my parents. If that could ever happen."
Asuka didn't say anything. Commander Katsuragi had been with her on the last mission, but she hadn't heard back from her. She was probably already on the Wunder, traveling to some other distant part of the world, trying to salvage what technology or space was left. Luckily, they didn't have to worry about the failures of infinity anymore, Shinji had taken care of that. Still, the red sand was everywhere and if that meant anything, it's that she would be sure to find the Commander out there, patrolling the wreckage and trying to fix it. But she wasn't entirely sure. Best not to say anything.
"Who knows," Asuka said, "Maybe you'll find them someday."
"Yeah. Let's hope," Kaji grinned, "I'll sock them both for leaving me alone for so long."
When they got back to town the girl rushed to her mother's arms. At first tears and apologies were exchanged, but it soon turned to a proper scolding. Asuka looked at the two of them as they retreated into the house and spun on her heels. Kensuke spotted her and came up to her, "How'd you do it?"
She lied, "Lots of yelling."
Kensuke nodded, "Never were a fan of kids."
Asuka huffed, "What a brat. Whining about dreams."
"You think that makes her a brat?" Kensuke asked, hands in pockets.
"Of course. Had her head in the clouds. It's just hopeless, wishful thinking."
Kensuke looked around and motioned his hand to the village, "So they all have their heads in the clouds?"
Asuka crossed her arms, "Don't get smart on me."
"I'm not," Kensuke shrugged, "Having dreams is part of being human. It's not a bad thing."
Asuka stopped walking with him and balled her fist, "And if those dreams never come true?"
Kensuke scratched his head, "Well, then we go to another one. Dreams aren't set in stone. They're malleable like tin."
"You're such a dork," Asuka said, "Thanks."
Kensuke chuckled softly, "Kaji wants to come with us."
"What?"
"Yeah, couldn't really argue with him. He does know a lot about the L-containment fields. We're bringing a few kits with us and he'll know how to operate them."
Asuka groaned and looked over towards the hills where the sun was setting. The rays were fleeting, dying orange fading into the dark of night. Though the sunlight never really died, it just hid itself until it returned once again in the morning and the next morning after that. There was always another day and another night to sleep. And dream.
Asuka turned to Kensuke, "If he's annoying we're kicking him off."
Kensuke nodded, "I doubt it. Shinji really liked him."
Asuka frowned, "They couldn't be more different."
"Differences don't necessarily mean people can't get along," Kensuke said, "Look at us."
" I don't like you," Asuka said, sarcasm in her voice, "You just give me a free place to stay."
"Oh, I'm sure," Kensuke rolled his eyes, "Where do you think he is now?"
"Shinji?" Asuka asked, "I don't know. Maybe chasing his dream."
"You think it's a good one?"
"Probably simple. He wasn't very bright."
"Hmm," Kensuke nodded his head, "But simple dreams can be sweet."
"Maybe," Asuka said.
They walked home, the moon hanging overhead, the red streak of second impact still visible on its surface. Asuka's stomach growled, an unfamiliar sensation, so Kensuke prepared them some premade food that only needed to be heated.
"How is it?" Kensuke asked.
Not good. It tasted stale and bland, but the sensation of eating because she was once again hungry overpowered the quality of the taste.
"Good," she lied.
Kensuke leaned back in his chair and looked at the wall, inspecting the tools, "So you really don't know where he went?"
Asuka stopped in between bites, "No."
Kensuke was silent.
"Four eyes was with him," Asuka said, "She said she was going to take care of him."
"Well, that's a bit reassuring," Kensuke sighed, "Still, I'd like to see him again."
Asuka stopped herself from agreeing. Would she really? After everything? She hadn't even had the chance to talk to him one last time, not really. Even in the Wunder she had been hiding behind a false mask of maturity and isolation, that, if prodded, would crumble as easily as any of the eroded ruins in the world. Instead, he had spoken to her, but not with her and shot her entry plug back to the world. A world that still didn't want her. Maybe he was dead. The thought made her wince silently. Kensuke seemed to notice.
"Something bothering you?" Kensuke asked.
"It's nothing," Asuka said.
Kensuke put his hands on his knees and got up, "Who knows, maybe we'll see him on the road."
Asuka scoffed, "Last place he would want to be is out there."
Kensuke waved his hand, "Bright and early tomorrow, got it?"
"Yeah," Asuka said.
Kensuke closed the door to his room and the house fell silent again except for the buzzing of the insects that always bled through the thin walls of the structure. She wolfed down the remaining bits of her food and retreated to her room, her mind reflecting on the events of the day's past. She had gone from saving the world and dying, to chasing after girls in abandoned train yards. Maybe she would've laughed at the irony, her jaded side wanting to mock her for having such stupid thoughts, but instead only a yawn escaped her. Looking at the night sky, she thought about where Shinji was, but eventually she realized the idea wasn't worth much more trouble. There was always a time to move on. For the first time, in fourteen years, she closed her eyes and let sleep take her.
To Be Continued…
Author's Note: This will be Asuka centric first and foremost, just so everyone knows. Please leave reviews, they make me feel good. Inspiration from CB and SC if you see the similarities. And who knows, there may be Asushin...