Long time no see, eh? Well, I could go on about how life is busy and even though I write quite often I rarely FINISH anything, so I never post- but you guys aren't here for that. This piece takes place in the Suicide Squad/Kintsugi AU, not long after Jason rescues Joseph. I was just listening to a lot of Bonnie Tyler at one point and so now there's this. This was actually posted over on AO3 just over 6 months ago, back in January, but I decided to go ahead and post it here. More details about upcoming stuff on AO3 and here at the bottom, but for now, enjoy!

Jason examined the bottle in his hands carefully, weighing his options. It'd been about a month since he'd recaptured Jericho, stealing him back from the Joker. He was getting a little bit better, but only in increments. The worst of his wounds had healed, but he wasn't anywhere near peak physical health. He barely ate, or slept, and Jason was working hard on getting him into a routine. Three meals a day, a specific bedtime, things like that. He believed it would help Joey feel a sense of security; always knowing what was going to happen and when.

He was gaining weight back, too, though he couldn't really eat much in one sitting, nor did he seem to want to. Shakes and smoothies always won him over, though, as well as most fruit juices. Jason made sure there were vegetables in the mix, and protein. Everything he could to try and balance out the blonde's diet. Right now, in fact, he had two mugs of hot chocolate, ready to take over to Joey who was transfixed with cartoons, like always.

And in his hand, a bottle of sleeping pills.

Since Jason had moved back to his bed, sharing it with Joseph, he'd noticed how little rest the blonde was getting. He tossed and turned all night, stirring at the slightest sound. He was never asleep for more than a few hours at a time, and he still seemed to be having horrible nightmares. The bags under his eyes were getting so dark that they almost looked like bruises. It was too soon after his trauma for him to rest easy, and Jason wanted to help him get a good night's rest now and then. If he slipped him the pills, he'd get a full night's sleep. Once a week or so, and he might be able to start sleeping more deeply on his own, or at least he'd be more rested. This way, Joseph was guaranteed at least one night of peaceful sleep.

But if he ever found out that Jason had drugged him, he'd never forget, never forgive. He'd never trust Jason again for the rest of his life, and everything would be ruined. On top of that, Jason didn't want to drug him secretly, he didn't want to have to lie or sneak around with Joseph; too much of that was bound to blow up in his face eventually, and getting caught sneaking or lying about anything would also break Joey's trust.

The right thing to do would be to talk to him about it, explain how it would help him, but Jason couldn't see Joey agreeing to take even a baby aspirin at this point. The Joker had kept him drugged, constantly. Joey didn't talk about his time with the man, not much, but Jason had put most of the pieces together. It was likely a whole mix of things, not just the patented 'Laughing Gas', because he'd recognized some symptoms of withdrawal in Joseph the first day or two. They didn't need to talk about it for Jason to know how frightening it must have been.

So, Jason really didn't know what to do. There was an easy way, and a right way, but the right way might not work at all, so then what? He had to do something.

Last night had been particularly bad. Joey had been hit with a case of sleep paralysis. It was his stillness that caused a delay in Jason's reaction, because he didn't know Joey was awake at all. The only sign of distress were some quiet whimpers coming from him. Jason has turned on the light, showing him no one was there, but Joseph's fear remained. He cried, like he did many nights, convinced that even if he wasn't here now, one night Joker would be there, and would take him away to hurt him again.

Of course, Jason always assured him that no one would ever get him again or take him away, the fear still wouldn't fade away. Jason could soothe him back to sleep, give him pills every night, but it wasn't a permanent solution. He had to go find the Joker, and kill him. He'd been planning on it for years, but now it wasn't about avenging just himself, he also had to do this for Joseph.

The problem was that no one knew where the Joker was these days; no one except Joseph. Red Hood could track him down eventually, but the longer it took, the more nights he'd be away from Joey while he was still recovering. If the blonde could point him in the right direction, it could be done in one night.

So, either way, Jason had to ask Joey to do two things that would be very difficult to do: take drugs and remember where the Joker was hiding.

The dark-haired man let out a heavy sigh, knowing what he had to do. He grabbed the bottle of pills and picked up the two mugs. One was hot chocolate, for Joey, and the other was the same but instead of having whipped cream and sprinkles on top, it had coffee and a splash of liquor. No matter what happened, Jason felt like he was going to need the extra boost.

He carried them into the living room, where Joey was watching cartoons, hugging his knees to his chest. He was aware of Jason's presence (he was hyper-aware of his surroundings, not ready to let his guard down completely, yet) but he didn't react until Jay spoke to him.

"Hey Joey," Jason said gently, placing down both mugs. "Can I talk to you?"

Joseph turned to face Jason, clearly wary, but attentive.

"It's alright. There's some things that I need to ask you, and they might be a little difficult, but you're safe. Okay?"

Slowly, Joseph nodded, but remained tense.

"It's hard for you to sleep, which is to be expected. But, if you want to, there's something we can try that might help you sleep better. It might keep you from having nightmares, too."

Joseph relaxed a little, looking more hopeful. There was trust in his eyes, and something else. Adoration maybe? Or something like it. "What is it?"

"It's your choice," Jason reminded him, taking out the bottle of pills, which made Joey frown and pull back. "It's sleeping pills. Just melatonin, nothing fancy. Not every night, just once in a while, or your body will stop producing it naturally."

Joseph looked away, curling up tighter. He was quiet for a little while, and Jason didn't break the silence. Joey fidgeted while he thought, unable to keep still. He stared at the bottle of pills, which Jason had placed on the coffee table between the mugs. Tentatively, the blonde reached out and picked it up.

Green eyes flickered intensely over the label, reading every word, looking for any sign that it wasn't what it was supposed to be. Finally, he pried off the lid, eyebrows raising slightly when he saw that the tamper-evident seal was still perfectly in place. He put the lid back on and held the bottle to his chest with one hand. He thought for a little bit longer, and then nodded his head.

"Okay." He relaxed again, leaning slightly towards Jason, and picking up his drink with his free hand. He held the pills in his other hand all evening, while he watched cartoons, and Jason didn't mention it. That was one task down, and it'd gone very well.

An hour later, Jason checked his phone. "It's almost bedtime," he said. "If you want to, now would be a good time to take one of those pills. It needs a little time to work."

Joseph didn't answer, but he was taking glances at the bottle of pills again. He seemed to be trying to memorize every word on the label. After a moment he opened it again, taking off the seal and looking at the pills themselves very carefully. He took one out, put it in his mouth, and drank the rest of the hot chocolate. Briefly, Jason wondered if he would try to pretend to take the pills, and spit them out later. It was a possibility, but he couldn't do anything about it. He had to give Joey the benefit of a doubt, and show him the kind of trust he expected in return.

"Before we go to bed," Jason said as they stood up from the couch, turning off the TV, "I have one more thing to ask you."

Joseph stared at him expectantly, tension in his frame. Jason knew by now that he had to be as direct as possible; no beating around the bush. The more he drew things out, the more frightened Joseph could get. It was best not to give his imagination any time to wander.

"I'm going to go out and kill the Joker," Jason told him. "I'm hoping you can help me find out where he is."

It was like dropping a heavy load of bricks onto the young man, but there was no easy way to put it. Joey sat down heavily on the couch, letting out a breath, processing this information. Jason sat back down with him, to stay on his level, but didn't interrupt his thinking.

"Take me with you," Joseph said fiercely after a moment. "I want to kill him too."

"No," Jason said firmly. "It's not safe to bring you along. I understand wanting to avenge yourself, I really do, but you can't handle it right now. It's too soon."

"Then- wait for me!" Joseph pleaded. "I'll get better, you'll see! I can get better and then when I'm ready we can go together."

"I can't do that, either," Jay answered as gently as possible. "He should have been taken out years ago, remember? I only waited this long because he's been in Arkham until now. The longer he's out on the streets, the more people are going to get hurt or worse. You and I both know that better than anyone. He needs to die, and I'm going to make it happen as soon as I can!"

Jason's voice had gotten angry without him realizing it, and he saw the slight fear in Joey's eyes. He knew the blonde didn't think Jason would hurt him, not really, but it was an emotional reaction to Jason's own rising emotions. He paused to take a breath and lower his voice again.

"I don't mean to yell," he continued. "It just makes me angry, thinking about what he did to you, and to me, and to God knows how many other people. You can't come with me, but I still need your help. I need you to show me where he is."

The sun was going down, and the night air was getting colder. Joseph wasn't trembling from the cold, though. His back was pressed firmly against Jason's front, and Jason kept his arms wrapped around him. The blonde clung to his arms like a child, holding him firmly stood together on the roof of Jason's building; Joseph only agreed as long as they stayed away from the edge, Jason held on to him the whole time, and all he had to do was remember, and point. The remembering part was the problem. Not because he couldn't, but because he didn't want to.

"Just remember to breathe," Jason reminded him. "And tell me if you change your mind, we can just go back inside."

"I can do it…" Joey said, though he sounded unsure. He kept trying to go back into that mind space, to remember where the Joker kept him; but it scared the shit out of him. He didn't want to think about any of that, even though he did want to help Jason kill that bastard. "Don't let go, Jason."

"I won't," Jason said, tightening his grip in a way that may have been easy to interpret as a hug, if he was the hugging type. Which he definitely wasn't.

Joseph closed his eyes, pushing himself to go back. The pills were starting to kick in a little, forcing him to relax for better or for worse. In this case, it helped. He put himself back into that state of mind, the nightmarish hellscape that had been his psyche when he was Jester. When his transformation from hero to monster was complete, all he ever wanted to do was to ease his own suffering, to feel good again. He was conditioned to kill; he was rewarded for it. Punished if any witnesses got away. Punished if he was followed back to the base.

"Where was the base?" Jason asked gently. Joseph had been muttering to himself as he remembered, and Jay didn't like it one bit. He held on tightly.

"Can't go back before dark…" Joseph looked over the horizon. The sun was just setting now. He looked, right to left, and shuffled slowly to turn in a circle, Jason staying with him. It was like a strange dance, the way they moved together.

And eventually, Joey pointed, to the Northeast, away from the setting sun and away from most of the city.

"By the docks," he said. "There's a pier with miles worth of abandoned lots and buildings. The water is toxic there, so there's no more fish."

"Which building is he in? Do you remember?" Jason said, pressing just a little more.

"It's graffitied. A purple fish with a big red grin." Joseph shuddered, turning in to press his face into Jason's chest. The man just held him tighter.

"You did good," he said, stroking blonde curls. "Let's get back inside and go to bed."

"Every now and then I get a little bit lonely, and you're never coming 'round…"

One of the most endearing, and enduring, things about Joseph was how much he liked to sing. Privately, at least. He always sang in the shower, like he was now, and when he was alone and didn't think Jason was around to hear it. But, Jason overheard him singing to himself probably every time he did it, and it always made him smile. Joseph had a fondness for classic rock, but his selection ranged from vintage showtunes to post-modern hip hop. One of the only constants was that it always seemed to match up to what was going on around him.

"Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes…"

"Turn around, bright eyes…" Jason sang along quietly under his breath. It was too catchy not to join in, especially with such a vital and iconic set of backup lyrics. He'd never sing if anyone could hear him, though, not even Joey. Right now, the blonde was taking a quick shower before bed, and had asked that Jason wait for him right outside the door. 'No peeking!'

"Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms… Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry…"

Joseph was also remarkably good at remembering songs. The lyrics, the tune, the whole thing from start to finish, without having to listen to the music. Just off the top of his head he could sing a whole song, like a living jukebox.

"Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be… But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am…"

Even the verses that were only in the extended versions. When the chorus came again, Jason sang it with him, a little bit louder this time.

"And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And we'll only be making it right, 'cause we'll never be wrong. Together we can take it to the end of the line, your love is like a shadow on me all of the time! I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark. We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks! I really need you tonight! Forever's gonna start tonight! Forever's gonna start tonight…"

Jason sat, thinking about what he was going to do tonight, while Joey finished the song.

"Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart. Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark. Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart…"

Jason was lost in thought when Joseph opened the bathroom door, looking down at him, wrapped up in a towel.

"I heard you singing with me," he said with a small smile and a little twinkle in his eyes. Jason coughed, clearing his throat and pretending that he wasn't blushing.

"Yeah, well, it's a catchy song… Enough dawdling, it's your bedtime."

Joseph settled into the giant bed after drying off and putting on some sleepwear. He was clearly fighting off sleep, more than usual. He reached out, grabbing Jason by the hand as he pulled the blankets up.

"Stay with me…" he said softly. Jason laid down next to him on top of the covers.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep," he promised. "And I'll be here when you wake up."

"You're going to leave, though, aren't you?" Joseph said through a yawn. "To kill him."

"Yes," Jason said. "But you won't miss me one bit, you'll be asleep."

"Promise…" Joseph started, but he was already out before he could finish. Jason stayed there for a while, until he got a text on his phone. He got up, leaving the bedroom and meeting Johnny in the hallway.

"Don't leave this spot," Jason ordered him. "If he wakes up, go in to stay with him and text me immediately, and I'll come back. I don't think he will but who knows? I should be back in a couple hours."

"Yes, sir," Johnny said lightly. "You know, if you're not sure how well the sleeping pills will work, why don't you just wait and see how tonight goes and then go out to kill the clown tomorrow?"

"Don't ask stupid questions," Jason said, leaving in a huff. The truth was, he was too full of anger and hatred at the Joker to wait any longer. Taking care of Joseph for the last month had rekindled those vengeful thoughts, and he didn't want to wait too long. One night could be life or death, for more than one person. One night might be long enough for the Joker to find a new base, to slip away again.

Forever starts tonight.

A couple of hours later, Jason was standing on the rooftop of the city police headquarters, smoking a cigarette. He rarely smoked, but he definitely needed it right now to wind down. He leaned against the Bat-signal, which was shining into the sky. There was blood spattered on his clothes, but he didn't care.

He finished one cigarette and was just lighting another when he heard someone land on the roof just out of sight, in the shadows.

"Jason," Batman said gruffly.

"Bruce," Jason retorted in a similar, slightly mocking tone. "You call me by my name and I'll call you by yours."

The man came forward, within view, eying Jason carefully.

"This is the first time we've seen each other face to face since you've been back, do you really want us to start biting each other's heads off again so soon?" There was some pain in his voice, very carefully hidden.

Good.

"I brought you a present," Red Hood said casually. "Well it's kind of something I got for myself, too, since I knew you weren't going to get it for me."

He reached down, picking up a bloodied bundle of tarp, wrapped around his prize. He tossed it at Batman's feet, and it rolled, the tarp falling open just enough that it was clear what was inside.

It was the Joker's severed head.

Jason purposely kept his gaze down at his cigarette, as if he had nothing better to look at. He kept himself detached, for the moment, cold. So, he wasn't directly watching Batman's reaction, but he caught a flinch in his peripheral vision as the man stiffened.

"Fucker's finally dead," he said after a moment of stunned silence. "After all these years. I don't need to tell you that you should have killed him sooner."

"Jason," Batman growled lowly, finally drawing the younger man's eyes up to him. He was clearly horrified, and angry. "Killing him wasn't right, you aren't justified in taking someone else's life. I know you wanted vengeance-"

"Fuck off," Jason responded sharply. He felt hot all of a sudden, despite the cold night. "He fucking killed me, Bruce! I'm just returning the damn favor. My only two regrets are that I didn't do it sooner and that nothing I did to him made him suffer like he deserved to."

It was true. Jason set out to enact revenge, for him and for Joey, to torture the clown to death. But, nothing he did stopped the man from laughing. He was immune to suffering, unphased by the torture Jason tried to inflict on him. It was infuriating, but in the end he decided to just end it, let him die, so that he and Joey could both move on.

"Torturing him doesn't change the past," Batman said, sounding so sure of his beliefs. "It doesn't change anything."

"You think this won't change things?" Jason sneered, taking another drag and flicking ash in the man's direction. "The Joker's dead. Red Hood took him out, and I'm going to keep taking people out if they don't follow my rules. I said it once and I'll say it a million times, he deserved to die, a lot of people do. If you or someone else had taken him out a long time ago so many lives would have been spared."

"He's been in Arkham for years, he hasn't been able to harm anyone from there-"

"Tell that to Jericho," Jason snapped coldly. That stopped the man dead in his tracks. There was a long silence after that, and Jason let it ride, his words sitting in the air between them. Festering. Eventually he continued. "Because you let the Joker live, because he escaped again, someone else had to suffer. Do you know what he went through? How can you justify that? How can you sleep at night knowing that happened when you could have prevented it?"

"We saw the state he was in…" Batman answered, carefully. Jason could tell he was uncomfortable. "I can't even imagine what he went through. He… He hasn't been seen in weeks, it's most likely that he finally succumbed to his wounds and died, but he was a Titan. He became a hero, and died in the line of duty. He put himself at risk willingly to save and protect others."

"And that's the thanks he gets?" Jason scoffed, putting out his cigarette, now that he'd finished it. "He's tortured and brainwashed to the point of death, and suddenly he's just another villain to take down. Or, in his case, you were just waiting for him to die, weren't you?"

When there was no answer, Jason continued.

"So just this once you decided that a life didn't have value, wasn't worth saving? Why? Why wasn't he or I worth anything to you? He sacrificed everything and all he gets in return is to be hunted down like any other criminal, like he's just a rabid dog."

Jason spat on the ground, straightening up and putting his helmet back on.

"There's a pattern to the villains in Gotham. They were all just regular people once, and then when the world fails them and things go wrong, they're just criminalized."

"They aren't innocent-"

"Jericho's alive, by the way," Jason cut him off. "I'm only telling you so that Dick will know. I caught him, and I'm keeping him safe. He's recovering, as much as he can."

"Where are you keeping him?" Batman asked, straightening up a little. "We can get him help-"

"Seriously? As if I'm letting you anywhere near him. I know exactly what'll happen," Jason glared. "He'll get tried for all the crimes Joker made him commit, he'll be declared criminally insane, and he'll just get locked up again. I didn't kill the Joker just to replace him with Jericho. This city is toxic, there's a sickness embedded in it. I'm not adding to that; it's a cancer and I'm going to cut it out."

"I can't let you do this, Jason. I can't just let this slide."

Jason walked to the edge of the roof, turning his back on the man. He gave one last parting phrase before disappearing into the night, as smoothly as Batman had emerged from it. "Go ahead and stop me then."

Joey was warm. Comfortably warm… When had he last felt this good, this comfortable? It was more than that, too. What am I feeling, right now? He lay still with his eyes closed for a little while, feeling no need to properly wake up just yet. He didn't need to be alert or on edge, he could just… relax, breathing peacefully.

Rested. He realized that he felt well-rested. It was hard to parse, really. Exhaustion, pain, hunger… those weren't things he registered properly anymore. They'd become so constant that the only way to survive was to tune them out. He didn't know how to tune them back in, so it was hard to be certain he was well rested, or anything like that, but he was pretty sure that's what this was.

He realized there was a warm weight on his head, so he opened his eyes to see why that was. Jason was there, right next to him, sitting up against the headboard. With one hand he held his tablet, most likely reading the news as he usually did. The other hand was resting on top of Joey's head, a comforting weight to it. He looked down, seeing that Joey was awake, and he actually smiled a little bit.

"Good morning," he said softly, and Joey realized all of a sudden what he was feeling. His eyes immediately started to tear up, and Jason's expression fell. "Joseph what's wrong?"

Joey shook his head a little, sniffling, as a few tears fell down. "I'm not sad… You make me feel so warm, and happy, and safe. I feel safe, Jason. I can't remember the last time I felt like this."

He broke down into sobs, and Jason quickly moved to wrap his arms around the blonde, holding him close and stroking his hair.

"It's okay…" he murmured. "I'm glad you feel safe. You are safe, I promise. I'll never ever let anything bad happen to you ever again. You're going to feel safe forever."

Joey whimpered and sobbed, pressing his face into Jason's chest to hide his tears. He cried for a little while, and Jason just held him, rubbing his back and murmuring soothing words. After a while, Joey had calmed down again.

"Did you kill him?" He asked softly, voice muffled and a little strained from the crying.

"Yes," Jason answered. "He's dead. Here, if you want to, you can see the news."

Joey nodded, wiping his eyes and taking the tablet from Jason. He scanned through the article, taking in every word. When he finished he looked up.

"They only have his head. What did you do with the body?"

"Dumped it in the water," Jason answered. "No one will bother to look for it; he doesn't deserve even a half-assed burial. I only kept the head so that there would be proof that I killed him."

Joseph nodded, tension leaking away from him, like a spring slowly uncoiling. He looked drained, but at peace.

"Thank you," he said softly, leaning into Jason again and closing his eyes.

"You wanna stay in bed and take it easy today?" Jason asked, and Joey nodded without looking up. "Okay. Lay back down, I'll go bring you something to eat, then I'll grab my laptop so you can watch cartoons if you want. Sound good?"

"Yeah," Joey answered, lying back down with a small smile, snuggling back into the blankets. Jason smiled back at him, carding fingers through his curls once before getting up to make the best breakfast he possibly could. Joey deserved the best, and that's what Jason would provide, always.

Thank you for reading! If you like what I do, please read on, I have things to tell you about my plans for future fics!

ATTENTION - About a year ago I made an account on AO3, because I really like it over there. Honestly in terms of fanfiction writing it's kind of the best, for both writers and readers. Therefore, I WILL be posting more content over there than I do here. Mostly because some things are against the rules over here, and like I said I like how it works over there, since they've got a really good tagging system that is really fantastic. Of course there are things about FF that I still like a little better, and obviously I've got more of a following over here, so I'm not abandoning my account, and I will still post some things over here. Anything in the Kintsugi AU, my ANB series, and any sequels to stuff I originally posted here I will also put here in addition to AO3. However, there will be things I post there that I don't put here at all. For example, if you like Bring Me Closer, and maybe wished it was a little longer, there is in fact an extended version over on AO3 with an added scene. I'm also going to start writing for other fandoms, and maybe post some original stuff too...?

So, to all my followers, I'm assuming you followed me because you like what I write. If that's the case PLEASE go over to my AO3 page and subscribe, and help support me over there. I would really appreciate it. I would link my page but as we all know, FF doesn't like links. For the record, AO3 happens to be very link friendly. You can find me under the name AJFormerlyPhoenix, search up titles of your favorite fics that I've done (like this one) and/or search me by my user ID which is 8086006. And seriously, I'm just going to start going nuts posting stuff over there. I have so much stuff that's not really finished that I'm just going to throw out there for fun.