Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.

Cartman sat at the edge of Stark's Point, resting an elbow onto his knee to prop up his large head with his gloved hand. He gazed down at his reflection on the water's surface. A quiet, soft sigh escaped the young boy, attracting the attention of his three friends who were with him that sunny day.

"What's the matter with you, fat ass?" Stan demanded.

Cartman sighed again, not rising to the insult about his weight. "My life is so hard, guys..."

"Hard?" Kyle asked, surprised. "What do you mean hard?"

"You dudes have absolutely no idea the things I have to go through," Cartman complained. "Day after day..."

"Yes we do," Stan argued. "'Cause we hang out with you all the time!"

"Dunno, why!" Kyle added. "Since we hate your guts!"

"Yeah," Kenny mumbled from under his hood.

Lifting his heavy gaze, Cartman directed it at his three friends. It was unusual for them to see him looking so gloomy. It wasn't like the egotistical, insensitive, overweight boy to be down in the dumps.

"You see ... No one in South Park has any respect for me."

"That's hardly surprising," Stan answered unsympathetically. "You don't do anything to deserve any respect, Cartman!"

"That's true," Kenny agreed in his muffled voice.

"No it's not true at all." Cartman shook his head. "You'd think some people around here would show a lil' appreciation for all the things I selflessly do for others..."

"You don't do anything for others, fat ass!" Kyle snapped, beginning to lose his temper. "Unless it's to manipulate them for your own gain!"

"Kyle's right!" Stan glared. "You don't think about anyone but yourself, Cartman!"

"That's a load of crap!" Cartman glared back. "If I didn't think of anyone but myself, why would I be hanging out with you guys?"

"It's not like we want you around!" Kyle huffed. "Like I said, we hate your guts!"

Cartman rose to his feet, standing up in front of the Jewish boy with a glare. He puffed out his chest, trying to look intimidating - but only succeeded to show just how fat he was.

"Ya see! This is exactly what I'm talking about!" he hollered. "All I do for you guys - and you treat me like shit!"

"Oh and what is it you do for us guys?" Stan countered. "Apart from using us to get ahead?"

"Or ripping on us all the time?" Kyle pointed out. "You're always ripping on me for being Jewish, Stan for being sensitive and Kenny for being poor!"

"Which is why-" Kenny began.

"Shut up, Kenny! No one wants to hear anything coming outta your poor mouth! It's probably filthy and pouring with mites! It's about time your stupid family stopped being poor?!"

Kenny clenched his fist, angered by Cartman's usual attitude by his family's poverty-striken home and financial troubles. He felt like he could really ram his fist into Cartman's fat face.

"See?" Kyle exclaimed. "That's what we're talking about!"

"What you just said to Kenny, Cartman," Stan put in, "proves your an asshole!"

"A fat asshole!" Kenny mumbled.

"'EY!" Cartman burst out. "I don't have to take that kinda crap! Especially not from a Jew, a hippie and a poor scruffy rat!"

"It's the least you deserve!" Stan shouted. "For the way the treat others!"

"Nuh uh!" The obese kid argued.

"Yeah huh!" The other three boys chorused.

"I will not take that from you dickheads!" Cartman bellowed. "You will respect mah authoritah!"

"No way!" Kyle fumed. "There's no chance in hell we'll respect a fat ass like you, Cartman!"

"Not now!" Stan shook his head stubbornly. "Not ever!"

"Yeah!" Kenny finished.

"Oh yeah? Well screw you guys, I'm going home!"

With one final glare directed at the other boys, Cartman raised his middle finger up to them. Then he turned and waddled angrily away, leaving them behind at Stark's Pond. The three of them watched him leave, pleased to see the back of the agressive fat kid.

"Boy," Kyle huffed. "I sure am glad to see him go."

"Yeah, but you just watch!" Stan sighed. "As soon as we see him again tomorrow, he'll be acting all buddy-buddy with us - while still acting like his usual asshole self!"

"I know!" Kyle rolled his eyes. "Remind me again why we let him hang out with us?"

"I dunno - but at least we know we'll never be like him." Stan smiled towards his best friend. "Seeing what a little bastard Cartman is, Kyle, we know we will never be like him."

"Yeah..." Kyle smiled back, taking the words of his closest friend to heart. "Yeah, you're right, Stan! We will never be so thoughtless and insensitive like that fat ass!"

Stan and Kyle exchanged warm gazes. Both felt very good about themselves. They were confident that the two of them would never ever be anything like Cartman.

So deep in basking in self-satisfation were the two best friends - that they didn't notice at all as Kenny fell into Stark's Pond and drowned to death.

The end.