/ˈrefˌyo͞os/ : trash; matter thrown away or rejected as worthless
What year is it because I'm certainly not 14 and this certainly isn't the very first fanfiction I wrote over 20 years ago.
It was always a means to an end, for Sonia. Infiltrate the Black Fang, seduce Brendan, and enslave the Black Fang to do the bidding of Nergal.
Perhaps this was what it was like to truly be human; the innate manipulation required when dealing with others. It seemed as though there was always a show to be put on and Sonia excelled at it, had done so for years.
Limstella didn't understand and neither did Ephidel. Nergal occasionally complained but ultimately left her to her devices.
"What refuse," murmured Sonia late one night while reading a missive left behind Limstella because she couldn't be bothered to wait to meet face-to-face. Telling Sonia to improve her efforts and get the show on the road.
Limstella was inhuman in a way that Sonia couldn't quite grasp, unable to understand that subterfuge required time and patience. Sonia was doing her best within her bounds, and she was tired of the morphs saying that it wasn't enough.
"Human waste, truly." Not remotely worth her time, she thought as she burned the parchment away.
Still, Sonia would achieve her goal soon enough without much help from the others. She'd been the one to infiltrate the Black Fang, she'd been the one to share the bed of the man who called her a wife. Used her natural goods to her advantage, truly embraced the humanity that she embodied.
She would be the one to bring it full circle and execute Nergal's plans to fruition. The downfall of the Black Fang was nearly within her grasp.
Sometimes she felt as though she were the only one who truly understood the weight of human nature. How relationships worked and how to bargain with others. She'd even raised a child. And there were times that her heart yearned for more, wished that she could properly care. Or burned with what little she already felt.
Then Sonia remembered that she didn't actually care.
"Darling?"
Sonia sighed at the voice of Brendan as he peeked around the doorframe of their room. Soon enough, it wouldn't matter anymore. Her so-called husband would be dead by her hand and everything here would belong to her. Sonia couldn't think of something more humanlike than an utter rise to power.
Provided the removal of certain cretins went smoothly. Lloyd and Linus, and Nino as well- all three of them veritable thorns in her side, far too suspicious for their own good. And Jaffar too, who'd strayed from his missions more often than not as of late.
"A moment," said Sonia finally. "I was doing some last-minute work."
"Work?"
"New orders for Ursula. Nothing of matter to you, surely."
Brendan was a fool for the way that he smiled at her gently. Sonia held no love for him, very little like even, but- well, he'd never treated her badly. He'd done right by her as often as he could, leading to quite the efficient takeover.
For Sonia, being human was using whatever she had to her advantage. Nino talked about romantic things such as love, but it was clear that the girl wasn't clever enough to know any better.
Love wasn't a romantic commitment, love was eternal servitude. Sonia loved Nergal with every fiber of her being, and it wasn't because he'd created her, it was because he was all that she knew and the future of everything.
Still, there were the odd moments that gave Sonia pause. Brief blips in that well-worn persona that she'd carefully crafted, where she wondered what her life would be like if she truly cared for the family she falsely claimed here within the ranks.
A little flutter that stirred within her cold and darkened heart, the barest of flames that flickered alive.
Brendan waited expectedly, his expression softened by his love for her, the hard-won advantage she'd carefully cultivated over the years staring right back at her in the face. Brief speculation of things that could be different were she to renege in her loyalties.
As always, Sonia decided that it wasn't worth it in the end. She stood from her chair and blew out the candle on her desk.
It was far easier to be the villain than a listless fool in love.