Trunks were packed, owls were safely locked inside their cages and students were ready to head back after yet another year. But the large group of students was subdued today. It had been Dumbledore's funeral yesterday and no one knew what future held for Hogwarts and the wizarding world. Everyone's favourite headmaster was murdered within the school premises and the students were extremely sad and terrified.
Among these, was yet another student—Harry Potter. He was forlornly loading his trunk into a compartment which he was currently sharing with Ron, Hermione, Neville and Luna. Ginny was not sitting with them; it was obvious after what had happened at the funeral. Harry did not want to let go, he wanted to hold onto her, more for his sake than for her. But he had to do this. He didn't want Ginny to be in any more danger than she already is.
All the people he had loved either died or were in constant mortal danger and he did not want Ginny to be one of them. Yes, he loved Ginny Weasley. He had realized this fact the moment he left her side at the funeral. She was strong, charming, funny, stubborn, and yet, she was sweet and understanding. There was a fierceness in her that he loved. She was the only one who could bore into his thick skull and call him out when he was being a stupid git. But above all that sappy stuff—she was his Gin.
Not anymore, said a voice in his head. He shook the thought away. She said she understood why he was doing this but did she really? Or was it literally a 'stupid noble reason'? What if she does not wait for me? What if something happens to her while I am gone?
He was pulled out his morbid thoughts by Luna, ever the wise Ravenclaw "You know Harry, there is a marked absence of Filigis around you today, love bugs I mean" she elaborated on his questioning look "there were a lot of Filigis around you for the past few weeks, they usually surround you when you are in love but the Wrackspurts generally tend to drive them off and you have a lot of Wrackspurts on your head today. But don't worry; I am sure the Filigis will be back soon"
Harry smiled at her, and she once again got engrossed in her magazine. This was Luna's way of telling you that things will definitely get better. Her ways were a bit odd, but she always left Harry in cheerful spirits after her talks. His mind lingered on one sentence though—when you are in love. Had he been in love with Ginny for the past few weeks and had not realized it? What a stupid git you are Potter, he told himself. He just wished she would say goodbye before he went off to the Dursleys. He was horrible at these things (horrible at everything, he thought bitterly) and Ginny would be better, he was sure of that. In fact, she was better in almost everything. What did he do to deserve her, he did not know.
Ginny Weasley was walking towards the compartment where Harry usually sat. After a rigorous internal debate, she eventually decided to visit them. She was not going to see Harry; she was going there to meet the others. You keep telling yourself that, said a voice in her head. Truth was, she wanted say goodbye—properly, mind you. What happened at the funeral was not closure for her, hell she did not even consider this a break-up; a temporary good-bye would be the more appropriate term because she definitely believed that this was not the end of Harry and her story. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but that would only weaken his resolve.
When she was a kid, she considered Harry Potter as a hero—The Boy Who Lived, the one who conquered You-Know-Who and all those monikers that people associate with him. In fact, he fulfilled the role of a hero during her first year in the Chamber. But growing up, she realised he was way more than a hero; he was a person with his own flaws. And that was what she loved about him. He was her Harry, the boy who was very easy to love, the brave, noble and the fiercely loyal Harry. The boy whose innocent green eyes lit up and face split into a grin every time he saw her, the one who was always ready for a verbal banter—the boy she loved.
She wanted to see him—more like stop him, interjected the voice. No, she told the voice furiously. I would not stop him. She knew that only she could do that, but she wouldn't. Their story could only continue when Voldemort is destroyed. She laughed inwardly. Last year she was competing with Cho Chang; this year she was competing with Lord Voldemort himself.
Her musings ended when the compartment came into view. Steeling herself, she opened the door and entered.
As the compartment door opened, Harry averted his gaze from the window and saw Ginny entering. His eyes automatically lit up when they met hers but he quickly masked his emotions. although if Ginny's radiant smile was anything to go by—she had caught him. There were murmured greetings everywhere, an oddly cheery wave from Luna, and she came to sit beside him. This is going to be very difficult, he thought.
Ignoring the sparks that generated from their elbows brushing, he took a packet of Bertie Bott's Beans and busied himself in guessing the flavours. When he came across a strawberry flavoured bean, he wordlessly passed it to Ginny who smirked and accepted it. Realizing what he had done, he shook himself. Before he could even think of moving away, her flowery scent engulfed him as she peered in the box. His mind was foggy now and when her shoulder lightly grazed his chest—he had to muster all his courage to not just grab and snog her. She emerged with a treacle flavoured bean and handed it over without a word and then busied herself by listening to Ron and Hermione bicker, occasionally providing crossword answers to Neville. They did not make any contact after that, and he was sure she had done that on purpose.
Ginny was aware of the proximity between them and it was enough for her to smell his woodsy scent which always filled her with warmth. Although she had to gather all her courage to not pin him down, she had witnessed his reaction and had great fun in watching him squirm around her. Anything closer than that distance would break their resolves, but she had to say goodbye because the next time they see each other, they will be surrounded by the Weasleys and the Delacours. So as they got down the train, she grabbed his hand, gave Ron a pointed look which surprisingly he understood, and dragged him towards an empty alleyway near the station. She wanted to talk to him, but her defenses crumbled once they were alone, so she pinned him to a wall and kissed him.
When she kissed him, his own resolve broke down, and neither did he stop her, nor himself. His hands moved of their own accord, pulling her closer than necessary while her hands played with his messy hair. He knew he should stop, but he had missed those lips, the synchronized movement of their tongues—as if they were made for each other. His hands went under her shirt while she unbuttoned his shirt and ran her hands across his chest, eliciting moans of pleasure from him. When the air finally became a necessity, they broke apart—disheveled and red in the face.
The reality washed over her like ice-cold water. They should not have done this, they had to talk, had to say goodbye for merlin's sake! And before it happened, she realized that Harry would bolt. So she blocked his way and said in a tone that she seldom used "Why are you leaving Harry? Don't you want this?"
Her tone made him flinch, but something snapped inside him and it was now his turn to push her against the wall and kiss her. All the love he felt came tumbling down in that fierce, yet gentle kiss. He desperately wanted her to know that he loved her, so before conscious thought could come back, he pulled away, turned his back on her, and blurted out "I love you, Ginny"
Words were pouring out without his volition now "I am not doing this because I don't want you—if the situation was in my control, I would have kept you at my side, away from all this mess. But I can't, your family is already in danger and I don't want you to be in any more peril than you already are. Voldemort has killed everybody I have loved—my parents, Sirius, Dumbledore. Ron and Hermione are in constant mortal danger and I don't want you to be the same way. The love I feel for you is more than what I have felt for anybody else and I don't want you to die Gin. I would never forgive myself if that happens. You are stronger Gin, you can deal with my loss but I…" he trailed off.
He had said a lot and he was sure she would hate him now. Who leaves someone if they love them? Chancing a glance, he turned around to look at her only to stumble as she threw herself on him and they kissed again.
Ginny was feeling a hell lot of emotions right now—she was beyond happy that Harry loved her, but was sad because he had to leave her. It was then that she realized the true meaning of his 'stupid noble reason' and before she could stop herself, she barrelled into him. Both of them were crying, they could taste their tears—but none of them cared. As they broke apart, she said "I love you too Harry"
He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, eyebrows, nose, freckles and she knew he was trying to remember every detail about her. they stood with their foreheads pressed together, no one speaking a word—just drinking in the sight of each other—the flecks of gold in those green orbs and the light dusting of freckles on the pale skin. Finally, she asked, "Will you come back?"
The mission was dangerous, and he might not make it, so he tried to be honest "I don't…" but he was cut off by her hand on his mouth. With the blazing look he associated with her, she said fiercely "You will come back." It was not a question, but he nodded anyway.
He knew she loved him but just to be sure, he asked "Will you wait?"
A half-laugh, half-sob escaped her and she said "I will" and kissed him again.
They were interrupted by Mrs. Weasley's voice and after missing a beat, they started laughing. Together they laughed, remembering those moments by the lake, the witty back and forth, the romantic walks, the fight, all those moments filled with light before darkness engulfed them—for the last time, because this was good bye.
They reached the barrier, hand in hand and before they could step through, Ginny turned to him and said, in complete deadpan "See you around Mr. Doof"
It was their inside joke, Harry recalled fondly. She had come up with that nickname and he stupidly had made a flippant remark about how she was Mrs. Doof. He had berated himself for it because it was still the early days of their relationship. But surprisingly, she had sportingly agreed and hence the name had stuck.
He smiled, but mirrored her deadpan quickly and replied "You too Mrs. Doof, you too."
They smiled at each other and dropped their hands, stepping into the real world, leaving behind their own blissful oblivion. And although both of them felt a part of their body being wrenched away, they still had that stupid grin on their faces because even if everything was chaos right now, they have promised themselves a better future—together.
Harry had just finished hugging Hermione and the Weasleys goodbye when he saw Luna, waving something—apparently Wrackspurts off her head. When she saw him, she beamed at him and he approached to hug her as well. When he stepped out of the hug, she smiled brightly and said "See Harry! The Filigis are again around your head. Loads of them are there. They are good for you and I am sure you will need them. Don't let the Wrackspurts get you!" she waved and skipped away. Harry smiled and shook his head.
Minutes later, as he approached his purple-faced uncle Vernon, still grinning like a fool, he decided that although he did not believe in Wrackspurts; Filigis were something he definitely believed in.