What Are Those sat inside his office cubicle, filling out forms, and was utterly bored out of his mind. He had signed up for this job in the hopes of meeting Michael Scott from the famous TV show, The Office, and so far, there was no Michael Scott to be seen in sight.

What Are Those filled out form after form as the tectonic plates of the earth rumbled underneath him and buildings crumbled every time he filed a form away.

"This sucks," said What Are Those.

What Are Those continued filling out these insanely boring forms until his boss, Adam Sandler, came up to him and said some truly terrifying words.

"What Are Those, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you," said Adam Sandler

What Are Those held his head down in despair as he knew what was coming next and he didn't like it one bit.

Adam Sandler continued with "since you've been slacking off on your work, I'm afraid you're gonna need to the workers lounge"

What Are Those quit filing forms and got down on his knees and began begging "NO! Not the worker's Lounge, I'll do anything you want!"

Adam Sandler shook his head and said "I'm sorry, but this is the way things've gotta be"

Adam then grabbed what are those by his shirt, opened up the door to the workers lounge, and threw him in there. He then locked the door and walked away.

…

What Are Those looked around him. The worker's lounge was a hellishly gray dimension filled with despair, horror, and coffee.

People he knew and recognized were being strung up by their intestines. Some people were forced to eat their own organs by the ones oppressing them, but none of these came close to what made What Are Those's blood run cold.

What Are Those spied in the distance, that a bound and gagged man was being forced to eat fried chicken against his will.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT FRIED CHICKEN!" shrieked What Are Those.

What Are Those cried and screamed, until one of the demons of this dimension, named Alan Moore, came over and began to laugh evily at What Are Those.

"Get used to it kiddo, this will be your new home"

What Are Those suddenly turned dead serious, stopped crying and said "no way faggot" before dropping his pants, jumping up, and decapitating Alan Moore with his fully erect cock.

Alan Moore's head fell to the ground and What Are Those was showered with green blood coming from Alan's body.

"HOLY HELL! YOU JUST DECAPITATED ALAN MOORE!" yelled an unknown stranger to What Are Those.

What Are Those looked over and saw a big breasted girl running towards him with a big smile on her face.

The girl then stopped in front of him and said "My name is Damn Daniel, and I wanna join you on your quest to leave this horrible place"

What Are Those said "okie dokie" in a grim and monotone way before they both went off on their quest to escape from the worker's lounge.

…

Days passed by and the two of them hacked and slashed their way across the worker's lounge. Bodies piled up as their desire to escape from this place came close to coming true as they came upon the ruler of the worker's lounge, Nicholas Cage!

Nicholas Cage sat in his throne and yelled "WHO GOES THERE!?"

What Are Those then said "I go by the name, What Are Those and this is my companion, Damn Daniel"

"Sup Nigga," said Damn Daniel.

What Are Those continued with "we seek to get out of this worker's lounge and return to the world of the humans"

Nicholas Cage stroked his chin for ten years before saying "I will release you, but only if you defeat my 3 deadliest champions in battle."

What Are Those said "aight, let's do this shit"

Nicholas Cage snapped his fingers before a red coliseum appeared around What Are Those and Damn Daniel.

Three large green doors lay in front of the two warriors and the first one began to open up. The opponent to exit from the gate was the famous basketball player Shaquille 'O'Neil.

Shaq dribbled a basketball and said "now let's do some drills"

What Are Those dropped his pants and yanked on his pubic hairs in order to rev up his chainsaw cock, while Damn Daniel ripped her shirt off and squeezed her nipples as fire began to shoot out of her milkers.

Shaq dodged Damn Daniel's fire and he swung his basketball at What Are Those's head. What Are Those immediately blocked the blow and knocked the basketball out of Shaq's hands with an elbow drop.

What Are Those then stabbed Shaq in the chest before swinging his cock up and down to slice the basketball player into two gory halves.

What Are Those and Damn Daniel then fist bumped each other before the second door opened up.

The warrior who exited this time was a blue hedgehog who was known to many as a famous video game mascot and notorious pornstar, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic then said "way past cool" before he ran over and began punching What Are Those's face several times over.

What Are Those swung his chainsaw cock left and right but Sonic managed to bob and weave throughout every single one What Are Those's attacks.

Damn Daniel then began shaking up her breasts at a rapid pace, similar to how if you shake up a soda can it'll spray everywhere. She shook and shook, before pressing her nipples once again and instead of fire, a military grade missile fired out of her breast and hit Sonic the Hedgehog square in the face.

Sonic blew up in a fiery explosion soon after.

Damn Daniel then high fived What Are Those before the final door opened up.

The final opponent exited and this was the most intimidating opponent yet. It was a blue tuna fish sporting a pair of glasses who called himself, Charlie the Starkist Tuna.

Charlie pulled out a can of his famous tuna fish and said "prepare to experience the rip roaring taste of defeat" before he opened up the can and fired a green laser beam at the two heroes.

What Are Those and Damn Daniel jumped out of the laser's way and it dissipated in the distance.

What Are Those then said to Damn Daniel "I must drink your breast milk to increase my power" and Damn Daniel responded with "okie dokie artichoke" and let him drink her breast milk.

What Are Those gargled the milk in his mouth, before he opened his mouth and a red hot laser beam exited from his food hole.

Charlie said "oh dangit" before he was disintegrated immediately.

Nicholas Cage clapped at our heroes triumph before What Are Those walked over to Cage's throne and said "ok, we've defeated your three champions, now tell us how to leave."

Nicholas laughed and said "What Are Those, don't you know? You've had the power to leave from here with you all along"

Nicholas gestured to What Are Those's FUCKING HUGE ass and said "just clap your ass cheeks three times while chanting Hitler did nothing wrong and you both will be home"

What Are Those looked over at Damn Daniel before he clapped his ass cheeks together and chanted "Hitler did nothing wrong, Hitler did nothing wrong, Hitler did nothing wrong" and soon, the two of them were transported back to their rightful place.

What Are Those and Damn Daniel then sat inside the office building while staring at each other for a long ass time, before What Are Those said "well goodbye"

Damn Daniel then said "yeah likewise" and two of them parted ways forever and ever and I got a new car for being such a damn good author.