Difficult Engagements

Chapter 18

Gaara POV

I woke up alone.

Was that all a dream?

My lungs are filled with the scent of oranges and honey in the morning. It saturates every fiber of my being. There's no mistake, that's Naruto.

Where is he?

He couldn't leave here?

How did he get out?

With my foot firmly on the ground, I quickly jerk my heel to send out a seismic chakra wave through the earth to sense the chakras around the camp. With mine at the epicenter, there are the 4 of my guards, but only one of Naruto's, the shark. Naruto and his handmaid are nowhere to be sensed.

I shouldn't have slept.

I let my guard down for a second and Naruto is gone.

No.

Erupting open my sand barrier that couldn't keep Naruto safe, I announced the camp, "Naruto's missing."

My rement sand in the earth collects together around the shark's legs, quickly scaling his body, trapping him in my hold. I marched over to the Shark of Konoha, stupid to stay behind while his mate took mine away.

"Where is he?"

"Haku-kun took your mate to get ready for today." Calmly he speaks as if he is not trapped an inch to death's door, or just familiar with its ever constant presence.

I dig my heel into the earth sending out another seismic sensor, finding nothing to confirm this.

"Where." I command.

"They are in a more secluded area of the oasis. They are bathing." still calm with my sand squeezed around his throat.

That would explain why I wouldn't be able to feel them with the seismic wave, they're in water.

"How did he get out?"

"Beats me, that fox is always good at escaping." I loosen my hold on him.

That is true. He's never been one to stay in one place for too long. If anyone could get through my sand, it's Naruto… I did teach him that yesterday.

Am I overreacting again?

"Haku is with him, so he's safe. Why don't you end this little alpha temper tantrum, before you go feral." I don't know if I respect or hate the fact that the shark is standing up to me.

"Where are they?" there's only a few places they can be, but I don't want to look.

"If you let me go I'll take you to them." he spits out.

"Fine."

Just like he said, Naruto is safe.

Naruto stands tall, the water rippling around his form, some drops clinging desperately to his exposed skin. Soft tan flesh stretched across a light muscular body glistening in the morning sun. A slightly arched back, curves down to thicker thighs meeting the water below. The cloth of his underwear doing next to nothing to hide the forms underneath.

His handmaid standing diligently next to him.

"See?" he pauses, "Haku-kun has it under control."

Before I could blink, a large sheet of ice stood between me and the perfect sight in front of me. The handmaid is ready to strike, three needles appear in each hand. With his speed it would be nothing before they tried to impale me.

They would fail.

"Haku, stand down!" Zabuza commands.

"Kazekage-sama, I would advise you to remove yourself while I finish here." Haku states.

"Naruto-kun, what's going on?"

Naruto POV

I look around, I don't really know where I am. It's dark here. I'm in a sleeping bag on the ground. Someone's holding me. Pale skin, but red hair.

Oh right, Gaara.

I thought he said he didn't sleep.

The redhead is kinda nice like this, I think this is the most relaxed I've seen him since I've met him. He's either so serious or sad… or angry.

But this is nice.

Peaceful even. I let myself sink into his embrace, the same safety and warmth from last night washed over me. These are the same arms that held me as I cried.

Fuck, I cried infront of him.

I cried about Itachi in front of him… That could have gone so wrong. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have talked about him. No one wants to hear about their future mate talking about their last one. Even if he's dead.

But Gaara did ask me too… I don't know. It was nice to be able to say that out loud. He didn't get mad at me for saying it, either, he just held me.

Yesterday was so fucking weird and stressful.

Everything happened so fast again, I wasn't expecting to move to Suna just yet. I was just supposed to meet the Kazekage yesterday. I wasn't supposed to move until after we mated in a few months or whatever.

I should be happy I'm finally out of Konoha, or at least away from Kyuubi. I'm safe now, or at least safe from my father.

The Kazekage doesn't seem to want to hurt me or make me do anything. So maybe I'm safe with him… but he could just be waiting until I'm in his capitol, far away from home to start doing anything… bad.

People don't get reputations like his, people don't get compared to my father, for nothing.

Gaara didn't take advantage of me last night, though. After feeling his chakra flow through mine and mine through his, then that intense scenting session, I felt like I've known him my whole life. I don't know how far I would have gone if he didn't stop us.

My stupid Omega instincts must have taken over, because I fucking jumped him after feeling his scent for only a few seconds. I'm usually not as affected by that. It probably was the combination of the two things being so close together. It didn't happen the first time.

My eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, now finding themselves resting on the juncture of his neck… I could do it again, see if it was just that. Slowly, as to not wake up from slumber, I move my wrist to the spot again.

He reflexively pushes the spot into my wrist, his face relaxing more with my scent. It's kinda cute. He's supposed to be some big warrior and he's practically purring from just my wrist. It feels nice, my body practically radiates with warmth just at the sight.

I let myself get lost in his scent for a while, it's all the freedom promised from the outdoors.

Uggg, I don't want to be here anymore… but I shouldn't wake him. He said he doesn't get much sleep.

Doing my best not to disturb him, I lift his arm off of me and slide my way off of his body.

I don't know what compels me to do this but I whisper to the sand, "Hey, I don't want to wake him, but I want to walk around, can you let me out?"

The sand bubbles in texture making a small opening for me to leave. It's early, so only the faintest amount of blue light finds its way in here. As soon as I exit, deep blue markings close the door back up. It's now perfectly smooth all around, with no way in or out.

That shouldn't have worked.

The oasis is breathtaking in the morning, there is nothing but beautiful scenery fitting a postcard saying 'wish you were here.' The sun was rising right over the waterfall causing light to dance around everything. Crystal blue water complemented the okaur colored ground and lush foreign greenery.

I reached for my dead lover's necklace still secure around my neck. Rolling one of the beads between my fingers gently. With the morning light, last night felt like a betrayal.

"Naruto-kun, you shouldn't be walking around like that." Haku makes it known that I'm still only in my nightshirt and underwear.

"Oh, I guess you're right." I tug at the bottom of the shirt even though it covers me decently well enough.

"It's okay, I was coming to get you ready anyways." He has all the usual morning supplies in his arms.

Haku escorted me to the far edge of the water, "How was last night?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Was it that bad?" he asked while helping me remove my clothes, we were in a secluded enough spot, and I'm sure no one else was around. The walls from the cliff side hide us well.

"No. It was just… weird." I'm honest with the closest person I have as a friend.

I submerged myself in the cold water, it feels so good against my skin. It didn't take long for Haku to join me as well, he's in a simple baying suit though. I guess he has to be ready in case something were to happen.

Haku is very careful with the cloth he rubs over my body, inspecting every inch, so I let him know "We didn't do anything."

"Well that's good, I know you were worried about that."

"Yeah."

He speeds up the process at this point, not worrying about looking for anything. It's too quiet, I know I said I didn't want to talk, but I kinda do. So much happened, but nothing happened.

Yesterday was so weird.

I blurted out, "We talked about Itachi."

"Oh?" He doesn't know what to say about that.

"Yeah, Gaara asked me about him..." I trail off.

"What did you say?"

"The truth." I pause then elaborate, "That I actually liked Itachi-kun. That he's dead. That all of this is overwhelming."

"How did the Kazekage take it?" My guard has every right to be worried about this.

"Pretty well actually, he just kinda held me while I cried."

"Oh, well that's good," he seems really shocked by this, but he confirms my suspensions "that could have ended pretty badly."

"Yeah… I don't know why I told him."

"You should be more careful, you don't know what he's like just yet."

"Yeah. My dad says I should appease him, to defer any problems. I don't, really, even know what he means by that."

"You do." he says solemnly.

"...Yeah."

"I know you don't like this, but you are an Ome-."

I snapped, "Yeah! That's why I'm in this situation."

"Let me continue,"

I anxiously nod waiting on edge for his next words.

"He is an Alpha, and you an Omega. Before and after everything else, so use that to your advantage."

"How? Submit? Do whatever Alpha says?"

"No." he chuckles, "Have you ever seen me submit?"

"It's different!"

"How?"

"You had a choice. I don't. I didn't choose the Kazekage."

"You also didn't choose Uchiha-san, and you were happy with him. I'm sure you can find happiness with the Kazekage as well."

"I got lucky…" I don't know how lucky I am now, "What does that even have to do with being an omega?"

"If you listened you would hear what I had to say." Haku lectures.

"Fine."

"He seems to care for you as his Omega, so use his instincts to your advantage."

"That sounds gross."

"It could be self preservation." He reminds me, "What we do know is he is very protective of you. This whole trip is prompted by keeping you safe. Hell, he supplied a large military force without even meeting you."

"He said we have met, that we used to be friends...even...but I don't remember him." Each word feels smaller and smaller.

"Then that's even better, his instincts must feel like they have a claim on you alre-"

"A claim on me?! I've known him for one day."

"And he's known you for longer. You need to listen to me."

"This is all fucking gross…"

"And it can keep you safe. If his instincts see you as his Omega already, and he's this protective of you without a bond, it's a good thing."

"How?" How is a stupid alpha having claimed me before even meeting me a good thing.

"He likes to keep you physically saf-"

"You've said that."

"So, when you notice he's doing that, reward him." he seems to be getting impatient with me, but I don't care.

"It sounds like you want me to manipulate him."

"Yes and no-"

"I'm not going to, that's fucking gross… like this whole fucking conversation." I feel so dirty thinking about this.

I'd rather him just tell me to just present myself to him and let him have his way with me until I was pupped up or dead. Not whatever this weird, 'use his alpha instincts against him' shit is. 'He wants to protect you because he thinks you're his property,' so use that as a weapon.

I never wanted to live like that.

"Naruto, this could help you."

"I don't care." I want to get away from all this, "Do you think it would be alright if I swam for a while?"

"I don't know when the Kazekage will wake up, but I'm sure you can until then. Let's cover you up first though."

"Fine." He helps me into a pair of underwear, like it's going to do anything to cover me up.

I just swam a bit in the area for a bit, while Haku stood guard. He usually doesn't watch me so diligently, but I guess this is the first time we're really out of the castle. So I guess he has to.

There's a noise in the distance, I see two figures.

Before I could blink, a large sheet of ice stood between me and the two mysterious figures. It materialized in an instant. Haku already had his weapons drawn and ready.

Haku really is strong.

I kinda feel bad doubting him now.

"Haku, stand down!" Zabuza commands, fear for his mate driving the command home.

"Kazekage-sama, I would advise you to remove yourself while I finish here." My guard stands firm, he apparently can ignore Alpha Commands from his bonded mate.

"Naruto-kun, what's going on?" Gaara shouts at me, he looks sad and afraid at the same time.

"Haku-kun, it's fine." I don't want this to escalate, "it's just Gaara-kun."

He listens to me.

The thick ice instantly melts into the water in front of me creating a cold spot in the oasis. While he still holds his weapons, needles, they are no longer at the ready. His stance is much more relaxed now.

"I apologize Kazekage-sama, I was doing my job protecting your mate. Due to previous incidents he gets more anxious when he's bathing, so I thought it would be best to keep him covered." Haku pauses deep in a bow of respect, "but I see now that was my mistake."

"It's fine." I speak for Gaara at this moment, I don't care what he has to say about Haku's actions.

"I'm sure Gaara-kun understands you trying to keep me safe," I feel so gross saying that, but maybe Haku had some points about self preservation, "but you don't need to keep me safe from him. Besides, I'm just swimming."

"I think you should go back to camp with Zabuza-san. I can finish getting ready by myself." I need to get them away from us.

I keep talking, trying not to leave any room for debate, "Gaara-kun, I'm going to keep swimming for a bit before we have to leave, you wanna join?"

"Yeah. I'll join you. It sounds like a good idea." he's staring at me so intently, eyeing up and down my body.

"Secure the perimeter, make sure no one is within a half mile from here. I don't want any more surprises this morning." The Kazekage commanded my guards.

"Of course Kazekage-sama." Haku says suggestively.

"We leave in an hour. Have the first group leave in half to scout ahead."

"Yes, Kazekage-sama." he said more formally, remembering the man in front of him was not like me and he shouldn't joke with him.

After everyone left to do their jobs the of us just swam together. Well, more like around one another, he doesn't seem to like the water that much. I don't know why he agreed to join.

Gaara keeps staring at me.

Like really fucking staring.

Like no matter what I do, his eyes are following me.

He's obsessed with every movement I make.

I feel like I'm in a fucking fish bowl.

"Can you stop staring? It's weird."

"Naruto-kun, that seal," the redhead points to me, "let me take a closer look at it."

"Huh? Oh this?" I point down to my stomach.

"It looks familiar. I want to make sure it's what I think it is first. Will you let me take a look?" he actually asked this time.

"Umm, yeah… I guess. No one will tell me what it is."

With two thumbs at the top of my waistband I pull down my underwear just enough for Gaara to see the full seal. With my consent he positions his head a few inches from my stomach, teal eyes focused, analyzing the markings closely. Goosebumps start covering my arms as I keep the edge of my underwear down.

"Can I touch it?" Gaara's hot breath lands on my exposed midriff, while he looks into my eyes.

"Uuuhh, yeah." not prepared for this level of intimacy from the man in front of me this early in the morning.

The redhead slowly touches the top of my seal, tracing the raised skin with his fingers. He's looking so intensely focusing on the shape of each mark, while trying to understand the meanings of them. Eyes squinting, nose furling up, a small grimace formed on his lips.

"I want to use my Chakra on it. I'll be able to get a better idea of what I'm looking at that way."

His finger slowly grazes the spiral mark around my belly button, as he waits for a response.

"That's okay." fidgeting with the waistband of my underwear, not knowing what to expect from letting the others Chakra inside of me again.

"I won't do it for long." He did say it's harder for him to extend his chakra outside of his sand.

A warm buzzing erupts from his fingers as he traces the center spiral again. My eyes fixated on the movement of the other one's fingers. I stifle a small moan from escaping my lips.

"Hmm…" Gaara seemed too preoccupied with his task to notice the noise, "I'm going to do the outer ones now. Okay?"

"Ye..Yeah." feeling a little light headed at these actions now.

Unconsciously I pull my panties down a bit more to grant further access to my body. Instead of going further down, the redhead picks the mark at the top of the spiral. Now repeating the same movements as before with his Chakra this time.

His energy feels like it's bouncing around a forigen object inside my body. The seal feels even more alien than before, like a parasite permanently attached to me. Long black tendrils wrapping around my entire system like a vine from the source underneath his fingers. It would be almost impossible to remove the weed entirely.

I wonder if he feels this too.

Overwhelmed by the intimacy of having the other so close to me, his Chakra is fully exploring my insides, flooding warmth through my entire body. I don't know if this is a forced intimacy or just intimacy… I do know I have never felt more willingly vulnerable under another's touch.

"Just what I thought." he said as he removed his finger separating the physical bond that was being made.

I let out an audible gasp at this.

He looks entirely professional, removing himself from his exolority search of my body. Taking a step back, folding his arms over his broad chest.

"Oh?" head foggy, full with the thoughts of the others touching, wanting more.

"The center seal was made by your father." his finger hovering over it, not touching, just pointing, my body ached for the touch again. "It's a very rudimentary seal. I think it's supposed to stop your Chakra from being used. On a normal person this would stop it completely, but I think it's just making yours unstable and harder to control."

I smiled at that, I don't think he meant it as a compliment, but I like that he sees me as more than just a weakling.

Gaara smirks, "You can cover up now."

I quickly let go of my waistband in embarrassment, it slid back up to rest at the natural resting place, "What about the other ones?"

"They were made by someone else. I'm not too sure who, but probably from Sunagakure by the shape." I feel like he's holding something back.

"Okay?"

"I know a specialist who can tell us more about them. It is a bit more complicated than that. It might have to do with your memory loss." he said as if not thinking.

"Memory loss?" my curiosity spiked with frustration. I don't have memory loss, I just have a hard time remembering some things.

"I can't tell you much about it." he pauses, "At least not until I know more. Once the specialist takes a look, I'll be certain. I don't want to tell you the wrong thing."

"No. I'm sick of people keeping things from me. What is it?" I demanded, I hate being kept out of important matters as if my thoughts or opinions didn't matter.

"I don't know for sur-"

"I don't care, tell me what you think it is." I'm not letting him get away with it.

"It's definitely tied into the one your father gave you for your Chakra. If anything is done to one it will affect the other." he says what he knows for sure first.

"Okay and?"

"And. It might have to do with your memory loss. I'm not sure. I can't be sure, not until a specialist looks at it. It might just be stabilizing your father's seal on your Chakra." he tries to give alternatives.

"Why do you keep saying my memory is gone? Just because I can't remember you. That doesn't mean I don't have memories."

"Naruto-kun. How far back can you remember?" Gaara asked calmly.

A pit in my stomach started to ache… Probably from everything we were doing before. I want to throw up. Maybe I shouldn't have had him examine me.

"I don't know." his head feels heavy, "That's a stupid question to ask… how far back can you even remember?"

"I was 3-4 years old, one of the first times someone tried to kill me. They waited until I fell asleep. I woke up in my bed with a stranger holding a knife against my throat."

"Gaara…" each syllable fell out on its own at this revelation.

Who would try to kill a kid?

"They're dead. I'm fine." he paused, before getting to his point, "but you don't remember that far back do you? You probably have, what, the last couple of years in you?"

He's right.

I've never thought of this before.

"So what?" My life's been hell, who would want to remember that far back.

"So, I'd like you to trust me. I'd like you to see a specialist, because I want to see if we can get you better."

"I'm fine."

"You're not, Naruto-kun."

"Yeah, I am. Just because I'm not whatever bullshit you want me to be doesn't mean that somethings wrong with me."

"I need you to trust me, Naruto-kun." Gaara is practically begging for my trust, it felt like he needed it more than his next breath.

Gaara seems to trust me implicitly, he has told me so many different things he shouldn't right away. That he plans to kill my father. How to break through his shield. Without even thinking he just tells me these things.

Yet, I'm so hesitant to trust him, "I don't know…"

Some moments it is second nature to trust him, others I remember what's happening. What my life is. What my job in this union is. What he could do to me if I said no.

"Please," the redhead whispers, tears are stuck behind his eyes, "just trust me, Naruto."

I followed my instincts and wrapped my arms around the sad man's waist, moving them up to rest a hand at either of his shoulders. This newly created support allows him to collapse his entire weight on me. Gaara fully submitted to this hug, finally crying into my embrace.

"Please…" he keeps begging, "I just need you to trust me."

Everything in this embrace felt natural, my body said to trust this man. Was it because I'm Omega and this was an Alpha… maybe. I don't think I care right now.

It made no sense, but at this moment I trusted this man.

"Okay." I wiped away some of his tears, "I'll trust you."

"I was so alone…" he cried, squeezing me so tightly as if he let go I would be gone forever.

"You're not now." I held him closer, "I'm here, and I'm going to be your mate, or whatever, so you're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

"I don't want to be alone again."

"Didn't you hear what I said? I said you're stuck with me." I'm stuck with him, he's going to be forced to be stuck with me too.

"I want to be with you. Everything started with our bond. I wanted to become someone who is needed, instead of a weapon that is feared." he keeps talking about stuff I don't understand, but I don't mind as much now.

"Then congrats, I'm here now, I'm not leaving, so you're wasting your time being sad." I paused, "and I trust you. I don't know you, but you seem to know me. So I'll see that fucking specialist."

"Thank you."

"Anytime. Now can you stop being so sad all of the time? I hate it."

"Huh?"

"Since you've met me, or I met you, whatever, you've looked so sad."

"... Sorry." I don't think he knows what to say to that… it's not an easy thing to respond to.

"I hate it. You look at me like I'm not here...and it fucking hurts." I grasp a hand over my chest. "Your so fucking sad, that it hurts."

"I'm so-"

"I'm right here." I planted a small kiss onto the others lips.

Our faces are so close to one another.

I don't want to be alone anymore either.

"You said you don't want to be alone… Well I'm right here." I closed that distance again, trying to get the point across.

Desperation takes over as the redhead goes for another kiss, before the first one is even done. He grabs the back of my head ending any potential distance between our lips. He feels more present with me at this moment than any other from before.

Feverishly I respond, desperate to keep this new found closeness with the other. Our bodies splash back and forth in the water while each of us struggle to hold onto this, whatever this is.

I open up to let him in, to let him explore. Without hesitation he comes in, eager to be inside me again. My hands firmly grip at his shoulders to support this newfound intrusion.

Gaara lands on top of me on the shore, still searching for me with his touches up my body. The touch I desired earlier has now returned to my body. I don't let go of him.

"I'm right here." now fully caged between his arms.

Gaara moves his hand to touch my face, to make sure I'm real, that I'm really in front of him, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, and I'm not leaving."

"You promise?"

"Yeah."

"Good." he smiles, while he actually fucking looks at me. He doesn't feel as sad any more.

"We should probably head out now."

"Uh… Yeah." I'm more confused than ever, but I know I could trust him.

My instincts tell me to trust this man. It seems so counter productive, but when I stop letting other people get into my head, I can relax.

For some reason, if I stop thinking and just follow them, things seem to go better with Gaara.

If my instincts day to trust him, I'm going to make it a conscious choice too as well.

I will trust Gaara.

Gaara went into his bag and grabbed a random collection of his clothes and held them out for me. "Here."

"Thanks." A light smile crept across my face.

He wears a lot of red and black. I put the shirt on first, cutting the long sleeves to fit my arms. The same with his pants. I'm not completely dwarfed in his clothes… but they aren't anywhere near fitted either.

I decided to tell him, "I was like ten or eleven, I was hanging out with a friend."

"Huh?"

"My first memory, you asked about it." I elaborate, "I told my friend I thought I was an Omega… They said they'd help me keep it a secret."

"Do you remember who?"

"No."

"It's okay. You don't have to."

What's up demon's? It's ya' boi.

So, we're done with the oasis, we're gonna go visit Itachi next round. It's been a minute, who knows what he's been up to. He's got a lot on his plate right now, and there's a lot going on.

I think I'm going to draw some sketches for each Chapter Covers for fun. The one for the whole story right now is a scene I drew that happens a bit later. I think it would be nice to have little sketches for each chapter. I def think I'm going put the map I'm using for the world, probably for chapter 2, that way you can all see what the world looks like.

One of my favorite things to do with Gaara POV's, is to have him talk to himself when he's incredibly anxious. Like when Shukaku is sleeping or not active, Gaara still will talk in his own headspace. I don't know why I like it, I think it's just to show that, even though Shukaku is an asshole, having anyone around you can make you feel less anxious.

TigrezzTail It's a safe bet, that if anything bad did happen, to anyone at any point in time in this, Kyuubi's had a hand in it in some way, shape, or form. I don't want to spoil anything for you, but I'm doing the classic ultimate bad guy thing with him. No nuance.

I figured having a good old fashioned bad guy would be a great backdrop for the complex relationships that are going on with everyone else. It's going to be a fun ride to see how Naruto is when he gets his memories back… and finds out what Gaara did.