Difficult Engagements
Chapter 33
First Heat.
Gaara POV
The last thing I said to Naruto is, "When you wake up I'll be here."
Since then, I've been on stand by incase they needed me for anything. I don't know what they could possibly need from me, but I didn't want to be too far away just to be safe. I'm not inside, because I don't think I could handle seeing Naruto like that. I'd probably just get in the way.
They don't know how long this whole thing is going to take. It could be anywhere from 1-10 hours, they said. Which I think is just their way of saying, 'fuck if we know.'
A couple hours go by and a door opens, it's just not the one I want. Tamari came to join me on the couch in our makeshift waiting room. I put down some of the files I've been reading to keep my mind busy. There's no use focusing on things I can't control, so I need to focus on what I can.
My sister asked, "You worried?"
"Hn." I don't want to let her know how fucking on edge I am that this won't work… or worse, somehow this makes everything worse. Things can always get worse.
"I am. I know me and him butt heads a lot, well used to, but I love the kid. When he showed up the way he did, I was heartbroken. Not just for you, but for me."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, he stuck himself to you for so long that he's practically my little brother, too." she sighs, "It's my job to take care of all of you."
Even though I'm the Kazekage and the physical strongest out of our family, Tamari always felt like our family's pack leader. She has taken care of all of us since we were kids. She was kinda forced to, because of mom dying. Because of me.
"Thanks… I know it's been hard."
"Eh, it's gotten easier since dad's no longer around…" she akwardly laughs, "Fuck, that makes me a horrible person."
"You're not a horrible person." I try to reassure her.
"I am… I'm almost happy our father's dead. He was better, when mom was alive, but not by much. Things have been so much easier since he's passed. I hate it."
"You take care of the people you love. You work hard for the country you love. Almost every day your sacrificing yourself for others, you aren't a horrible person…"
"I'm glad Naruto rubbed off on you, little brother." she ruffles through my hair.
"Huh?"
"That's the type of shit Naruto used to say all the time." she sighs, "I hope this works."
I add on, "Me too."
"Oh so you know, we found the Uchiha, but our girl on the inside got caught…" she looks remorseful, "probably died."
It's part of their job, everyone knows it's a possibility, but it still hurts when it happens. One of our own has more than likely died to further our cause.
"Who was it?"
"It was Maki, in the Sound's Omega Breeding Facility. She's given us a lot of great intel over the years."
I try to remember, "Pakura's disiple?"
"Yep."
"I'll write something for her family."
"Good." my sister nods, that has always been her least favorite job to do, "What do you want to do about the Uchiha?"
"Well we need to attack again quickly before he goes back into hiding. Do we know all the Sound bases that Kyuubi has checked?"
"A few, yeah." She thinks for a second, "Kyuubi seems to have lock himself up in the castle for a while though. It worries me when he doesn't make a move."
"We'll keep an eye on those as well, just in case the fox is planning anything. We need to ensure our people are at the nearest one to the breeding facility, first. It's likely the Uchiha won't stay in that facility now that it's been attacked."
"Are we sure he's after Naruto?"
"He made an attempt on the castle a few weeks ago shortly after Naruto and I left. Kyuubi tried to keep that from me, but our people reported it back to me" I informed her.
"So, they might actually be working together?"
"I'm not sure, but we can't rule it out."
"I always hated working with him. Even when you're on the same side," She shakes her head in disgust, "you're Kyuubi's enemy."
"Yeah."
We sit in silence for a while, each working on our own projects waiting for the doors to open. Every so often glancing at the door when we hear a nose in hopes for good news. It's been even more hours, and nothing.
Hour.
After.
Hour.
Passes.
We just continued sitting here, until 13 hours later, the doors finally opened. Chiyo walked out first looking the most exhausted out of everyone. If it wasn't for her part in all of this, I would feel bad for making her do this against her will. She helped develop these seals with them 20 years ago, it was her job to help remove them.
"If you ever make me help the foxes again I will refuse. This took a lot out of all of us, it almost wasn't worth it." She grumbles out.
"So it worked?" Tamari asked.
"The seal is removed, we won't know if it's a success until he wakes up." the old woman says bluntly.
"It's a success, however we don't know how much longer he'll be out." Haku says to me a bit more optimistic, "This took a lot of his chakra and he basically has to rebuild his storage of it."
"That shouldn't take too long."
"I don't think you get it, a normal person wouldn't have been able to survive this at all. It was very surprising he was able to live that long with a seal that complex on him. It was eating away at his chakra reserves all these years." the old woman explains.
"Good thing he's not a normal person." I remind them all.
Naruto has been lying motionless on the bed for the past few days. I know he's fighting for his life in there, but he almost looks peaceful from out here. Like he's just sleeping. My brother and sister visit for a bit each day, but they both have their respective duties. We all can't be slacking off at this important time.
"Nnnaa… it's so bright." sky blue eyes flutter open, before quickly piercing shit.
"...Gaara?" it truly sounds like Naruto, "Am I in Suna?"
I'm afraid if I say the wrong thing this spell will break. I'm so excited to have him back for real this time. This time with him as someone else was heartbreaking.
I whisper out, "Yeah."
"That's good." he smiled, his head seemed as if it was still in a fog.
If I don't say anything, nothing will change, we can just stay in this moment forever.
"I'm not Naruto." He says, breaking the spell for me.
I don't know what that means, but "That's okay."
He fidgets in the bed before mumbling out, "You look awful…"
"I wanted to be here when you woke up." I remind him.
"You could have taken a shower…"
"What if you had woken up then?"
He rolls his eyes, "I would have called for you or something. Ya' gotta take care of yourself, stupid."
"I guess…" a small smile creeps across my lips.
"How many days have it been?" Naruto tries to orient himself some more.
"About three."
"Three?" it sounds like a question, that he ends up answering himself, "that's not too bad."
"Yeah."
"So, was it a success?"
"Does it feel like one?"
"I don't know…" his eyes try to focus on something in the distance, "I can remember things now… kinda, but, like, not really… I don't know."
"You just woke up, so don't worry yourself too much about it."
"I guess."
"You should have access to your chakra, now." I tell him the only thing I know for sure.
Naruto tries to summon flames to his hand. It works for a second before disappearing erratically in the air. He looks disappointed… but that was so much better than a few weeks ago.
"You might want to give it a few more days… the procedure took a lot out of you."
"I guess," Naruto shrugs before he points to the mark I made him put on me, "Ya' know, you look kinda stupid with that."
"I dont care." I say, this is humiliating.
"I mean to be marked by me, without me being marked too. It kinda makes you look like my bitch." he tries to make light of it.
"Then I'll be your bitch." I've never cared what people think about me.
"The Kazekage is my personal bitch. What will people think? What would they say?" He laughs over exaggerating every word out of his mouth, "I can hear it no-"
I interrupted his joke, "I already lost you once… I don't know what I would do if it happened again. I had to go through so much to get you back. I wasn't going to live another day without you."
I did so much to get to this point. I am not living another day without him.
All his joking disappeared from his face in favor of something more serious, "Thank you."
I just nod.
I don't know how his memories are functioning, nor what he means about not being Naruto. It seems like we're on the right path though. I still cared for Naruto without either of these things, but it still fucking hurt.
I desperately want him to remember me again… I know we probably won't get back to the way things used to be. I don't think I could turn back time to the day before all of this happened. That's probably a good thing, I want things to be better than they used to be.
We just kind of sit in silence for a while, I know he needs to collect his thoughts. Naruto looks relieved but conflicted with himself, like a living contradiction. I hold out my hand for his.
Naruto takes it immediately in his own, interlocking our fingers.
That's all I need for now.
8 Years Ago.
First Rut.
Naruto POV
I looked all over and couldn't find Gaara anywhere, we're supposed to go on a mission today. He's not in his room or anything. Not even in the gardens or training area. He's not in any of his usual spots. In my desperation, I wound up in the Kazekage's office. Our dad's are having some sort of meeting.
Before I could ask, my father explained, "There's been a change of plans. You won't be joining up with Gaara today. He's doing it alone."
"Why?"
"He's an Alpha, experiencing his first rut."
I take a quick breath in, and hold it. Did my father find out about me?
He continues, "You'll experience yours shortly I'm sure, but we just want to see how much damage he can do."
"I think he'll level the whole town." Gaara's father bets.
"I think he'll just take out the building. Maybe a few around it, but not the whole town." My father ignores me to join up with the betting.
"You don't have to sell my boy short just because yours is here. How 'bout you Naruto, what do you think?"
"I think you shouldn't send him out like that, you know how he gets." I say firmly.
"Exactly. That's what we're betting on." My father said matter-a-factly.
"We just want to see what he can do... when he's not holding back." he turns to my father, "I just want to make sure that little experiment of yours worked."
"Oh, I know it worked. The side effects are a little off, but he's a powerful boy."
"What experiment?!" I demand to know. My dad looks at me strangely when my voice comes out like that, it's a look of recognition. What did I do?
"Well, Naru-chan, if you can get your panties out of that bunch. I'll let you know." He smirks at me, he's never called me that before. I look at Gaara's father, he knows not to speak up when Kyuubi gets like this. He just stands stoicly behind my father's sick grin.
"Your friend had some modifications done on him when he was a baby. It's why he's so strong. He's a Jinchūriki… just like you." he said the last part in disgust, eyeing me up and down, like he's about to start toying with me.
"What is a Jinchūriki?" I stand my ground, I'm not going to give into one of my father's sick games.
"I'm getting to that," he's teasing me, "Of course, Gaara was the first one we did it to, so there were some… mistakes."
"I'm done playing your games. What did you do to him?" I command.
Instead of mine, Gaara's father speaks up this time, "There's a process, it was an old legend really, that you seal part of an ancient demon's chakra into a newborn and the child will absorb all of its power. One of your fathers associates was able to figure out how to do it. It's why the two of you are so powerful."
"Thank you." I glared at Kyuubi, before commanding another answer from them, "Where is his mission?"
"It's over by the border of the Rivers Country. There's a small town with a rebel hideout. There's a map over there." Gaara's father answered me again.
"Thank you." He's not usually this eager to help.
"My. My. My. Naruto You are quite the fistiy one today." Kyuubi says to me.
"I'm pissed." I corrected him.
"Why don't you go to your little friend, see what he's like. I think you'll actually enjoy him in this state." He smirks again, eyeing me up and down, like he knows something I don't.
"... Maybe we shouldn't let this happen." The Kazekage tries to warn my father. It feels like they are talking in some sort of coded language I'm not quite getting. Is being a Jinchūriki that bad?
"No. He thinks he knows what he's doing... let's see how this works out." My father grants permission for this to happen.
"I'm not letting you do this to Gaara." I'm confident that I can make true to my promise.
Present Day.
Gaara POV
Naruto is holding that necklace again. He's worn it the entire time he's been back… It reminds me a lot of Tsunades; he never took that one off either. Especially after every thing that happened with them. The blonde is even fiddling with it the same way… I have a feeling I know whose it is.
I do myself a disservice and ask the question, "That necklace, where did you get it?"
He looks down as if not wanting to admit what I already know.
"You don't have to tell me… if you don't want." I give him an out.
"You know, I loved him." he says instead of saying whose it is… he doesn't need to with a sentence like that.
Uchiha…
"Yeah." I don't know how to respond to this.
"I know you don't want to hear this…" his blue eyes lock with mine, "but I think you have to."
I just stay quiet… fully ready to get my heart broken. He loved the man I am trying to kill… Maybe I should call it off.
"I was so lonely…" Naruto's pained voice barely comes out in a whisper.
I was so lonely without him.
"I was so helpless…" he's trembling like he's about to cry, "My father… he did that to me. He took away my Chakra… he took my memories… he.. He did.."
Not knowing what to say, I wrap my arms around him. His body shakes violently in my hold, before desperation hits and he grabs on to the edges of my jacket. Keeping me close.
"I was so helpless… everything was so scary… I never knew where I was." he twist the fabric between his hands, as if trying to ground himself.
I know that feeling too well.
I reminded him, "I'm here."
"My life was a fog." he started off, "then he showed up."
Uchiha…
Him… not you. You actually got him out of this. Ungrat-
"Shut up. You need to hear this." the fox said firmly.
"Okay." I try to ignore my feelings of jealousy.
I'm the one that saved you.
"Kyuubi started treating me like my dad after we left here." remembering Minato's face last time I spoke to him, picturing it as Naruto's.
I will kill him.
"Then Itachi showed up… he was going to be my mate… before you." he trails off.
After me.
"Yeah?" I let him know I'm listening.
"And my life started to feel like it had purpose again." he's twiddling that stupid necklace. "I wanted to live again. I could escape Kyuubi."
The Uchiha couldn't help you escape, I did.
My fox continues, "Then everything happened. I didn't know what was going on, all I knew was all alone again. I tried to kill myself… I didn't know what was going on anymore… everything moved so fast." Naruto passed, looked me in the eyes and said, "Thank you."
"You don't have to." I'm the reason you felt that way.
"I do. My life was in a fog, I couldn't even recognize you. I didn't know if I could trust you." he seemed to get lost in that again.
"You did."
The oasis, it only took me two days to get him to trust me again. A week to get him back home. A couple weeks to get his memories back… or at least just drag him out of the fog.
I have to remind myself, our bond is stronger than anything else.
8 Years Ago
First Rut.
Naruto POV
My friend is already gone.
The form of a sandy-brown coloured tanuki takes over the view of the town. Its face and body is covered with curved dark blue cursed markings. The One-Tail Beast is finally free and able to roam as he pleases.
This is Shukaku. I used to think it was just what he liked to call this other side of him. Being born and raised in the Wind, it wouldn't have been a stretch to call his side of hatred that. Now I know it's something else inside of him, well, someone else.
"Shukaku, give him back control." I command.
"Why should I do that, Kyuubi?"
"Don't call me that! I'm not my father. I am Uzumaki Naruto." I say while pointing my thumb at myself. "And you have my friend trapped"
His black and yellow eyes stare down at me like I am trapped too. I'm not trapped. It looks like Gaara's done here with his mission. I have to get the beast away from this village before he does more damage.
"Pretty big words for such a small boy."
My body oozes out red chakra at all of my joints merging together in my Flamed Coat "You don't want to admit you're scared of me. Such a small boy and you're shaking. I've gotten through your sand defense before."
"I'm not scared of you, brat!" the goliath shouts.
"Oh you're not?" Taunting him.
I jump into the form using my newly formed chakra claws to keep grip. I need to hurt him just enough to keep his attention only on me. Climbing up I finally get to the joint of his left arm, where I use a chakra pulse to disturb the sand. The shock wave caused it to ripple out and break off.
That should do it.
"I'm going to tear off every limb of your body if you don't give my friend back."
"Brat, you can not defeat me." The sand erratically jerks itself back together, reforming into the arm he just lost. Good.
"Prove it…" I bounce off his body landing on the ground in front of him. "Weakling."
Perfect.
He's focused on me now, I have to lead him away from this village. Running out into the desert is basically a death sentence knowing he can control every grain of sand I touch… but I can't let him keep destroying the town.
Running out through the great unknown as piles of sand keep trying to raise up from the ground to trap me. My chakra is hot enough to where he can't keep a good grip. I have to focus my energy on my feet. Running on sand is almost harder than running on water. Some areas skinks in and tries to swallow me whole, while others areas are hard as rock. It's hard to prepare for the next step.
I think I'm far away now.
"Hey loser! Come down here and fight me like a man." I try to make this a more even fight.
"You only ask that because you can't come up here and even the playing field."
I can't summon the toads out here, they will be so mad I made them come out in this weather. Gamabunta hated it when I brought him to their greenhouse. Said it was way too hot and dry. Promised to kill me if I ever tried that again.
Fuck.
I took too long to think.
The beast has got me in his grasp, the weight of the sand is crushing me. He brings me to his face as if he's going to eat me in one bite. With his size he probably could. Using my Flamed Cloak I try to burn through this sand in hopes he drops me.
"You don't deserve the chakra you have. It was stolen."
"I didn't steal shit." I yell while I still can.
If I drag this out some more I might be able to turn the tables on him. My flames are doing next to nothing to the sand coffin that surrounds me. Each granule digs into my skin as the creature tightens their grip more.
"You and all the other pathetic humans are just the same. You might have Kyuubi's blood coursing through your veins. You might even have his Chakra, but you aren't anything like him."
"That's the goal, dumb ass." My anger makes the flames burn brighter than the sun, "I'm not Kyuubi, like I said before, I'm Uzumaki Naruto."
His grip wavers and I'm able to escape. I think I can transform too. If we're the same thing, I should be able to do something like this. The cloak grows larger on top of me increasing my form. More flamed tails form as I transform into the 9 tails.
I never thought anything like this could be possible. I look down in my fox form, I want to be able to explore everything but I can't. There isn't enough time right now. I have more important things I have to do.
"Blasphemy."
Finally the same size, I use my red chakra fox form's claws and teeth to grab and restrain Shukaku. Trying to rip apart the sand body but it just reforms as soon as my chakra claws go through it. The sand beast defence is almost impossible to rip through. I can disturb it sure, but it just reforms.
Plus I can't be too rough, I don't know where my friend is in there. I can't risk ripping through the creature's sand only to hit him. I don't want to hurt my friend.
I have to get to Gaara.
I manage to flip myself on top of him, jumping in the air… I've got to do this just right. I try to position myself to land right on top of his body. The last second I completely dissipate my chakra fox form, becoming my normal size. I somehow manage to pull this off successfully and land directly atop Shukaku's head. Now that I'm close I have to free Gaara. I just know my friend is here.
"Gaara!" I scream digging through the sand on the creature's forehead.
Red hair.
I was right, he's in here, I just have to dig him out. I can do that. My claws burn red as I try to break the chakra bonds holding each grain of sand together to dig him out. Shukaku is doing his best to swat me away like a fly during all of this. In the same action of pulling my friend out, I get knocked off.
Gaara's form exposes itself inside of Shukaku's head. I have to get back thereGaara's a little farther away than I'd like, but I made it. I try to run at him. Shukaku is still trying to swat me away. When I get a certain distance from my friend's body, he stops. He doesn't want to risk hurting his host.
Good.
"Gaara! Wake up!" I shake his body atop of Shukaku's head, trying to wake my friend up. I'm too close to Gaara for the beast to risk using any of his attacks. I should be safe up here.
The sand beast that controls him now is trying to shake me off. I pool my chakra to my feet to stabilize me. I dig it into the sand of this beast body rooting myself to his head. He's not getting rid of me that easily.
"Get off me, brat!"
"Please Gaara… This isn't you any more! Take control! Wake up!"
I need him to wake up. Please wake up. I feel the air stirring around me more as Shakaku tries to rattle me off. I push my chakra into the sand more to lock myself in. I'm not giving up.
Gaara's eyes start to flutter open. I can tell he doesn't know what's going on as he whispers, "Na...urto…"
"Yeah, Gaa', it's me. It's Naruto," I try to bring him back.
I can tell the sand around his body starts to weaken. It seems to be working. He should gain control as soon as he wakes up… It's just like when we were kids.
"Wh..where are we?" he asks lazily, like he's just waking up in a strange place.
"We're in Suna, just outside of the Rivers Country. You were on a mission." I can feel Shukaku's form failing around us. The chakra roots I have beneath me have less and less to hold onto.
"Mission?"
"Yeah, but you're safe now. I'm here." I embrace my friend into a hug.
This seems to bring him back. He tries to hug me back, but the sand beneath us completely crumbles down as soon as he gets back control, sending our body's avalanching into different directions.
I look over to my friend, he's passed out, but it looks like him. I start crawling over, I've exhausted too much chakra… what little I do have is becoming unstable. My body is at its limits. I have to make sure he's okay though. He's starting to open his eyes again.
"Gaara… Your back." I got him back, he's safe.
Smiling in victory, I collapsed on top of him. I got him back. There was nothing else I needed to worry about any more. I might not have much Chakra left, but he's fine.
Teal eyes locked into mine, "Naruto…"
Fuck.
No.
Not now.
"Why are you scared? What did I do?!" Gaara's freaking out now…
No, I just got him under control. I can't have him lose control again… not when I'm like this. I can't help him if I'm like this.
"It's not you… it's me." I don't want to tell him why… this is so embarrassing.
"What did I do to you!?" he's freaking out. He didn't do anything. It's just my body.
"You did do anything!" I'm not calm right now
"What did I do?" he says firmly.
"I'm in heat." I whisper. I didn't want to tell him that.
It's just quiet. He doesn't know what to do with this information. He knows that I'm… but we've never really had to deal with it before. I've had some 'pre-heat' symptoms before… but nothing serious. Just mild cramping and stuff.
"... I need you to keep me safe." I want to cry, I can't use my Chakra, everything hurts.
He looks at me with a sense of purpose and direction now, "I can do that."
Present Day.
Gaara POV
"Why did you need to tell me about Uchiha?" I settle back into the chair next to the bed.
"Oh right… I loved him. He helped me through a lot… when I wasn't me. You know what that's like." he's trying to get me to understand.
"Yeah…" I understand that feeling.
"You know how helpless you feel when he takes over, that was my whole life for 5 years. People used my body for whatever they wanted. I was property. The few months I spent with him helped me so much. I need you to appreciate that." he tries to get me to understand his appreciation for this other man… but all it does is make me wish I tried harder to get him faster.
If you were better you would have been able to get him a year ago.
I take a deep breath in, I don't know if I can say anything just yet.
Naruto tacs on, "I don't want you to be jealous of a dead man."
…
He still thinks the Uchiha is dead.
All I can say is, "I'm not."
"You are." he knows me too well for me to ever try to lie to him.
"Yeah. Because all I can think is if I was better you wouldn't have needed to rely on anyone else. If I could have gotten you out of this a year ago…" I burst this out.
"You got me out now, and I'm so thankful for that…" he wraps his arms around me. "I just need you to not hate what got me through. Please?"
"I'll try."
"Thank you."
What do you think he'll do when he finds out?
He won't.
"You've gotten much better." he compliments me.
"At what?"
"Keeping that little asshole inside your head under control."
"Huh?"
"I can see your mind slipping to talk to him for a few seconds… but your not letting his stupid voice dominate your head. I usually have to break you out of it. You've gotten better." he genuinely compliments me.
My heart swells with pride. I worked very hard at this. Some days I still have issues with it, but for the most part I've been able to maintain control. I have control over myself. The fact he can see my progress… I don't know, I think I needed that.
"Thank you." I take this complement.
"It's not like I did anything. That's all on you."
It is because of him that I have this control.
"Ya' know, I think if he was still alive, and you got to meet him, you probably would have liked Itachi." Naruto pauses, "I mean if all of this didn't happen."
"Naruto."
"I feel like you two would just quietly sit in a room together reading or something boring like that. Not saying a single thing, then at the end being like, 'that was good, we should do it again.'" he jokes.
"You have very high hopes in people." I chuckle to myself.
"I'm serious." he huffs out.
"I told you before, I don't trust what he did to you." I say not knowing exactly what he remembers of his life.
"I don't know where you got it in your head that he was a bad person."
"He couldn't feed you." I say the only thing I know for sure.
"Gaa'... not everyone is a great heat partner like you."the blonde shakes his head, "It's not like it was either of our ideas to even share it in the first place. Our parents just kinda shoved us in a room together so I wouldn't run away."
"Run away?" is the only thing I can say to not focus on any of the horrible things he just said.
"Yeah, apparently some things never change." He laughs while stroking the back of his head.
8 Years Ago.
First Rut.
Naruto POV
"So your little friend showed you what it is to be an Omega?" My father is trying to taunt me with my newly confirmed status.
"Shut up. I don't know what you're talking about."
"You do… you went into heat with that little alpha boy for a whole week. Everyone can smell him on you. You smell like dried dirt - It's disgusting."
"He was just keeping me safe."
"Was it fun to let our enemies mount you like that?"
"What are you talking about? The Wind are our allies!"
"So you did let little Gaara mount you? It's your first heat and you've already ruined the best thing about an Omega. What are we going to do with you?"
"I don't know what youre talking about! Just stop this. I'm done here." I try to leave my father's office.
"You're done when I say you're done." he grabbed a spot on my neck and squeezed hard that I knew without looking there would be a bruise.
"I'm done playing your games…. Let… let me go." I feel like I'm losing control.
"You still haven't answered my question, Naru-chan. Did you let that wind boy fuck you?" with the tone of my father's voice, I knew the truth was the only right answer.
"No. He just kept me safe… he's my friend." I said, hoping this would be done after this question. I'm getting light headed. I need to get out of here. It's not safe.
My fathers eyes looked down at me, "Good. Well have someone double check, just to make sure you're telling the truth. If they find something we don't want to see… Well, it will end up worse for you."
"They won't." I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know what he's expecting to find.
"Good. Because I don't want to have to use this…" he's holding out a piece of paper from his desk, I can barely tell what it is, but it's crushed where my dad's holding it. Like he's holding back destroying the whole thing. He settles on throwing it in my face.
"... Wh..what?" it's harder to focus.
"With your most recent status change, you'll have much better prospects than some boy from a country that had to sell one of their sons for basic resources." His red eyes are looking me up and down like a man at an auction house trying to determine an object's worth.
I don't say anything. I don't want to be here any more. All of this makes me feel gross.
"But we'll figure out your worth after we double check that everything is still intact." he adds that as a last little punch to my soul.
His thumb and pointer finger squeezed the spot on my neck one last time for emphasis. Then he tosses me out the door of his office, while screaming something incoherent to, I'm guessing a servant. Because I'm ushered away in a few seconds.
While I'm recovering, from whatever just happened, one of my dad's handmaid's checks me… down there. It's weird, but not that bad. She said I was fine or something.
They let my dad know that, too. He just looked at me with this sadness… like there's some impending doom I don't know about. Like an animal you have to put down for their own well being.
Then just said to get ready for a bath.
I'm taken to a different bath than my usual one. I stand in front of a mirror… it's the first time I don't want to look at myself. I don't want to see the bruise I know is on my neck. It marks me as what I am.
An Omega.
Instead of being able to wash alone like normal, another one of my dad's handmaids is helping me. They said it's very important that I have a clean body now.
For the next month it feels like I am not allowed to leave the tub. They wash me at least three times a day. When they are done they put these special oils all over my body. I don't get why the sudden change.
It's not like I'm a different person now. I'm still Naruto.
Present Day.
Gaara POV
"Remember your first heat?" I don't know why I brought this up. Probably just the reminder he always used to run off to meet up with me. Nautos brutal honesty always seems to force it out of other people as well.
"I'd rather not." His laugh was sad this time.
Naruto was not shy about the fact that he hated that he was an Omega. His first heat made it impossible for him to ignore this fact, it marked him forever as one. His whole life really did change that day.
He adds on, "You know our parents basically wrote up an entire marriage treaty for us because of that."
I didn't.
I knew about the first one when everyone thought Naruto was going to be the Alpha and I the Omega. Kyuubi had no issues with aragining our union when it was his son dominating. I read the old contract over a few times, Suna really was getting the raw end of the deal. I don't know how this country managed with my father in charge.
"The way they looked at us like you'd be 9 months pregnant when we returned I don't doubt it." He told me how many times they tested him for that after. Our parents really didn't believe nothing happened between us that week. I guess they were right in a way.
His face was so red as he looked to the side, "It's your fault...Your rut triggered… it early in me - asshole."
"After the fight?"
"Yeah." he continued, "I was so worried about you, I kinda, just, ignored the symptoms. I had to make sure you wouldn't do something you'd regret. I know your dad used your extra aggression to take out the invading force."
I will never forget that I was born to be a weapon.
"When I knew you were safe, and Shukaku didn't have control, I couldn't ignore it anymore. It's why I collapsed on top of you." Naruto looked down in shame. I held out my hand for him.
"You pushed through everything till you knew I was safe." he took my hand.
"Yeah… you were almost completely gone." he smiled.
"You brought me back." I squeezed his hand in mine. Naruto would never give up on anyone… he never gave up on me.
"Yeah. Then I basically forced you to take care of me for a week."
"I wanted to."
8 Years Ago.
First Rut
Naruto POV
After a few months I'm finally allowed to return to Sunagakure. I wasn't allowed to write Gaara that whole time. I didn't want him to think I abandoned him. That I used him for safety then tossed him aside when I was done. He doesn't deserve that.
I'm glad when I finally did get to see him, things got back to normal pretty quickly. We were just friends again. My dad said it's really important to keep bonds with them. He spent a lot of time convincing Kyuubi that we should go back to the way things were before my status was found out.
Kyuubi surprisingly agreed with my dad… It took months, but we're here. I'm grateful for my dad sticking up for me.
My best friend and I are finally able to spar like we used to. I've learned a lot of cool new things from my Uncle Jiraiya lately. He's a bit of a perv, but he is actually a super fucking good teacher. I wonder if Gaara is impressed by my new moves.
It looks like it.
He's learned some new things too, I can tell. I think he's getting better control of that stupid voice in his head too. I think knowing what it is helped with that. Well, I hope so anyway.
Eventually as the day goes on, we get to a good resting point and I finally ask what's been on my mind.
"What did you do to get back from the Shukaku form?" I ask nervously… it's the first time I brought that week up at all.
"Huh?"
"Like how did you come back? Like, what did you do?"
"Oh, I thought about you." He said that was enough information for me to understand everything. I usually find comfort in the way he speaks, but at this moment it's annoying.
"Okay… but, like, how did that... work?" I try to get him to elaborate.
"Why?" I was hoping he wasn't going to ask me why.
"You can't tell anyone." I started explaining the best way to tell anyone anything, "but, my father, he's, uh, training me in a new way..."
"What's he doing?" Gaara's voice got serious.
"He's trying to get me to suppress my… urges." I don't want to elaborate.
He looks at me confused, not understanding at all what I'm talking about. Which is almost a relief, because I don't want him to know what I'm talking about. It's way too embarrassing, even for my best friend to know.
"As an… omega." I say the last part as a cursed whisper.
Everyone knows now, but I still don't like saying it outloud. I hope this is enough, but I see in his eyes he's trying to calculate what I'm meaning by this.
"Which urges?" Gaara won't just let this go and tell me what I want to know.
"There's this thing… that happens to Omega's sometimes. Only an Alpha can do it. It puts you in this weird state, where everything feels… Weird. You don't really know what's going on… You kinda just listen to the loudest voice in the room and do whatever it says… It's kinda scary...My father does it to me sometimes." I try to say it all at once so I never have to say it again.
"What does he do to you?" Gaara is angry now.
"If I show you, you can't ever do it to me… promise?"
I feel like he wants to object to the idea of me asking for this safety measure, but he just says "Promise."
"He squeezes… on the scent gland. You know the one you have in your neck? Yeah. Apparently alphas, when they bite… you know there. It can trigger this mental state. Everything becomes super foggy and you just start listening to the person who did it to you… like pretty much whatever they tell you to do." I don't want to worry him so I add, "It only lasts for a few minutes."
I pull down the collar of my shirt to show the faded yellow spotted with the deep purple bruises along my neck. The ones my father left on me. I look away in shame. I don't know why this is shameful, it's just practice.
"And there's this voice he does… it's just so deep. If he's put me in that state a lot, sometimes the voice works too."
"Those should have healed by now." My friend mentions.
"He commanded me not to heal them… my body listened." I shrugged, even though it weirds me out, too.
Gaara doesn't say anything. He's too deep in thought.
"He says if I can't suppress this, he's just going to marry me off to someone as soon as I'm old enough." I let him know the consequences of what is going to happen to me if I can't get this under control.
"You're strong enough, I'm sure you'll fight it." He continues, "If you can't, I'll just marry you."
I gulp, "What?"
"I wouldn't mind. I'm sure my name would be on the list of eligible suitors. I never really cared about marriage. I don't think I would mind marrying you, as long as it could help you. You're my best friend." He says this so pragmatically, simplifying everything in an easy bite sized way, making everything easier to digest.
I just laugh at the fact that I have a crush on this guy that will only ever see me only as a friend, "You're ridiculous."
"What?" He says like he knows everything he just said was the absolute form of the truth.
"I guess you're right, I wouldn't mind marrying you either." I ignore my feelings for him, "Besides, we'll never have to worry about that. I'm strong enough to beat this."
We just sit in a comfortable silence for a while, staying in each other's company, before he breaks it.
"The next time he does it… You find something to ground yourself." Gaara finally answers my question from before.
"Huh?"
"I usually try to figure out where I am first."
I just nod along listening to his advice.
"Once you figure out where you are. Figure out who's around you. If it's someone you know, even if you don't know where you are, you're usually in a semi-safe space." he explains more. "Start having a list of people you can trust in that state. It helps if you have some characteristics written down. Sometimes it's hard to tell who's who."
"So, if it were you, I'd be like: Gaara, red hair, Tattoo, green eyes, eyeliner, strong…" I trail off not knowing if I'm doing it right.
"Yeah, like that." he just smiles.
I think I'm getting it.
"So when you mentioned, earlier, that you thought of me… that's what you did?"
"Not exactly." he doesn't want to elaborate.
Present Day.
Gaara POV
"How did you learn to control yourself?" He seemed almost afraid to ask me that question. My control has always been a touchy subject.
"You needed me to." I just tell the truth, "You asked me to keep you safe. So I did."
"I was scared… asking you for help." Naruto admitted… that hurt. I don't blame it, but it still hurts.
After the fight where he subdued Shukaku, Naruto's body was so weak, he wouldn't have been able to fight anyone off. Especially not an Alpha. I could see how long it took for some of his wounds to heal. He would have been a sitting duck for any one to pick off.
There was a good chance that Alpha could have been me. I honestly don't know how I managed to stay in control. The scent of his first heat was so pungent. It could have triggered Shukaku… or really just me.
But, he was on the ground, crawling over to me with the last bit of strength he had. He didn't care about himself, he just asked if I was okay. He was a sitting target and he only cared about me. When he knew I was fine, his voice was so small when he asked me to keep him safe. He was so embarrassed about it. I could tell he was scared then, too.
"But something in me knew to trust you." he smiles, "I'm glad I did."
"Me too." I'm so glad he trusts me, even when any other sane person wouldn't. I value this more than my own life.
"That's when we found that oasis, right?" he asked.
I don't think he has a full grasp of all his memories yet. It's hard waking yourself from something like that... I couldn't imagine waking from a 5 year fog.
"Yeah. I wanted to take you away from everyone… We were honestly lucky to find it." I chuckled thinking how fucked we would be if we didn't.
"Yeah we were. My body was so hot, I needed that to cool me down," he remarked.
His body felt like it was on fire that week, almost like he was sick and dying. Before that I never would have thought heat was that intense. I was just told heat was a very personal thing, but seeing it first hand was another thing.
He cried the first night, hate of his body filling each sob. It hurt me so much to see him like that. I knew he didn't want anyone to see him like that. When his family's guards came to retrieve him, I made sure to stop them from getting close. I wasn't going to break his trust in me.
I knew I had to give him more protection, the smell of his heat was traveling in the air. I had to mix it with mine to make it known there was an Alpha with him. He let me do that to him. I covered him in my scent for basically 7 days straight.
"They tried so hard to get your scent off of me. I was bathed for almost a week solid. They used so many different oils just to cover it up. I wasn't allowed to see anyone for over a month." That was the first bit of freedom taken from him because of his body.
It was very different for me.
No one cared that I had a Naruto's scent on me after my Rut. People were congratulating me for winning an important battle and returning with a high ranking Omegas scent thickly on my body. That was the first day I was seen as a man by my father.
I'm impressed with how long my scent lasted on him. His stayed faintly on me for two months, but I wasn't trying to remove it. Thinking back, hearing his side, maybe I should have. "Sorry."
"It's not your fault."
What's up demon's? It's ya' boi.
It's so weird to think how long ago this chapter was written. Most of this chapter was written all the way back in April. Back when this was all on one Google Doc, since June the file got so big that I had to put each chapter into its own Google Doc.
If you are keeping up with my re-rewrites, there will probably be a few more of those up soon. Again, I don't make any major changes, just add some details here and there. The story and plot structure is still the same.
If you are the type of person to re-read chapters, my favorite chapter to reread is Chapter 12. It's not re-rewritten, however, I find it's the one that changes the most the more you know about Gaara and Naruto's relationship. If I do re-write that chapter, I'm not going to add too many details.
What are you excited about learning about Gaara and Naruto's past together?
What do you think's going to happen when Gaara and Itachi finally have "some words" with each other?
How do you all think Naruto is going to react to Itachi still being alive?
How's Kyuubi doing? Probably still an asshole… ngl
TigrezzTail. Thank you, I do my best. I want their relationship to make more sense the more you learn about their past together. We're going to be getting a lot more flashbacks of their past together from here on out.