Ah, the art of stock car racing. While some may consider it to be one of the best sports in the world, others see it as a bunch of dumbasses driving in circles. This especially applies to the Motor Speedway of the south, located in Tennessee. It's a large one mile coliseum with stands all the way around. It's just half a mile longer than Smasherville speedway, which is also a coliseum. Ironically, both tracks are in the same state being just one hour away from each other. The Motor Speedway of the south was where the final race of the 2006 Piston Cup season would be held. Over the past nine weeks the ten chase drivers were duking it out, trying to get more points than each other. Going into the tenth race, only three of those ten drivers are eligible for the season ending championship. Those three drivers actually have the same number of points. This more than likely would never happen without the chase. But instead of talking about a screwed up playoff format, i'm going to talk about the three contenders that are in the hunt.
The first contender is Strip Weathers a.k.a The King. Arguably the greatest driver in Piston Cup History. Strip started off as a teenager racing on the old quarter mile dirt tracks in a modified Pontiac. His success caught the attention of a man named Carl Smith who got him to be the first ever driver for his Piston Cup team. With support from a new oil company called Dinoco, Strip started off winning right away having five wins in his rookie season. The car he drove back then was a Plymouth Superbird, a car that would be banned the following season. Strip would have a heck of a career as he would garner a whopping 145 race wins. He also won a record seven Piston Cup championships. The only other driver that ever matched him was the late Dale Earnhardt. It has become apparent that he is not what he used to be. After 2005, he had just finished his 36th full time season. He doesn't win as much as he used to, and usually only garners about 1 or 2 wins a year. He hasn't won a championship since 1992, that was 14 years ago. Strip Weathers decided that he'd run one more year before calling it quits, and announced that 2006 would be his farewell season. Then he got a random surge of dominance. So far he's gotten seven wins in his final season, and was actually leading the points going into the chase. If he got a good finish, he could make history as the first driver to ever win eight piston cup championships. Not many athletes can say that they were able to win the season ending championship in their final year. Plus imagine if he actually won the race along with the title. That would be a badass way to end a 37 year long career. The new driver of the #43, and the new driver for Dinoco next season have yet to be announced.
The guy who thinks he should have all the success The King has is consistent runner up Chick Hicks. Chick started off his career as a demolition derby racer in an old Ford Galaxy. He is a 65 time winner at the Thunder Hollow dirt derby. The Thunder Hollow speedway used to be a piston cup track, but they stopped having races there once the track was deemed too dangerous. Danger is what you get when you have a stock car race on a freaking figure eight. The number of cars Chick crashed during races was ludicrous. He would barely ever have a scratch on his car. His talent caught the attention of Piston cup team owner Zachary Burns who got him to drive the #86 Hostile Takeover Bank Buick. Chick left the derby and went stock car racing. Over his 21 season career, Chick hit every single thing on the track but the pace car. He was aggressive and caused some of the biggest crashes in the history of auto racing. Most of the time Chick would lie and say that it was an accident to stop himself from getting a penalty. Despite how persistent he was and how many races he won, Chick could never close the deal and win the season ending Piston Cup championship. He has finished second in the championship standing a whopping 10 times. Like Strip Weathers he also managed to win seven races, but entered the chase in second just one point behind The King. This season he was hoping this would not be number 11 and after 21 years he would finally close the deal. He also though that with The King retiring, Dinoco would sign on with him after he beats the old fart. He has more sponsors than any other driver with his car being covered in stickers. He just can't land Dinoco. He thought this would be the year where everything would go right, where the Piston Cup would be a guaranteed victory, but the last thing he expected was...LIGHTNING MCQUEEN!
Not a single sports fan in America ever expected something like this. On January 10 1988, Lucy McQueen was born into a rich family with her mother and father being very successful by selling mouthwatering homemade root beer across the country. Her parents Walter and Sharon McQueen, were in the soda business since they were in high school. When Lucy went to school she would gain the nickname Lightning after destroying her classmates in all of the other sporting events. The one she was the best at was track and field running, where her gym teacher said that she ran as fast as Lightning. Name a competition, it would be a guarantee that Lightning would win. She was also very spoiled, anything that she wanted, her parents would get it for her without hesitation. She was also know for being very attractive with all of the boys drooling over her. It might have something to do with the fact that she had large breasts for a girl her age. She had been wearing a D cup bra since she was only eight. On time she got suspended from school after she beat up a boy that touched her breast. With how good she was at sports and how hot she was, she was easily the most popular kid in class. Lightning also had a history of being arrogant. She always felt that she was the best at everything and nobody could beat her. She didn't bother to take the time to make friends. All she gave a damn about was winning, and she would do anything to make that a possibility. With how rich she was you would never see her interacting with poor people. She would only wear the best clothes and was too sophisticated to ever set foot in a public bathroom, especially if she was going number two. She would always go before leaving home, and hold it until she got back. When she turned 14 she got into go karts. She actually won the California go karting championship 4 years in a row. What shocked her was when she was fired by her sponsor Smell Swell deodorizer in favor of a rookie named Sammy Smelter. The B.S reason behind it was that Sammy's poor racing fit the image of Smell Swell better. There was actually a truck driver named Mack Ratzenberger who had taken a liking to the young hotshot. He offered to take her to Boston for a job opportunity with Rusty and Dusty Rust Eze. Lightning became the mascot for Rust Eze medicated bumper ointment and Rusty and Dusty had convinced Carl Smith to field another car for the 2006 season, thus making her The King's teammate. Mack would become the hauler driver and rather than use the bathrooms at the track, specifically the porta potties, Lightning would always do her business in her trailer's toilet. This was a huge story as there there aren't that many females in auto racing. The only other girl racing alongside Lightning was Misti Motorkrass, but Misti has yet to get her first win and barely cracked the to top 20 in points over the past 8 years. The only female driver to ever win a Piston Cup race was Louise Barnstormer Nash, and that happened way back in 1965. She also won the entire championship back in 1960. Lightning McQueen made a statement going into the year that she was going to win the entire championship. This was a bold claim because a rookie had never won the whole championship before. On the racetrack she did things not many other driver would even attempt. She would pass through the middle of three wide, and sometimes even on the apron. To her the blue flag with the yellow cross never existed. Rather than get out of the way if she was about to go a lap down, she would fight to stay on the lead lap. If she did get lapped, she would do anything to get her lap back. If she was multiple laps down, she would still not get out of the way and race at 100%, even if there was only one lap to go. On a restart with 11 laps to go every other lap down driver would restart towards the back, while Lightning would restart right beside the leader. She also often did the opposite of what everyone else did in terms of strategy. If most of the drivers stayed out under caution, she would pit. If most of the drivers pitted, she would stay out. If most of the drivers took two tires, she would take four. If most took four tires, she would take two. Like The King and Chick, she also had seven wins. But she also had four DNF's. She was inconsistent and her ego made her make decisions that put herself, and her competitors, in danger. She had ended up in fights with almost every other driver on the track because of her recklessness. She would also cuss a lot when being interviewed. In her eyes, anything that wasn't a racial slur was fair game. She actually won the last race of the regular season at Copper Canyon and was the tenth driver going into the chase, and barely go in via a tiebreaker. She was tied in points with defending champion Todd Marcus who only has two wins, as oppose to Lightning's six. She had actually won the second to last race of the season at Smasherville which tied her with Strip Weathers and Chick Hicks. Now she was in position to be the first rookie to ever win the championship, and possibly take Dale Junior's spot as the most popular driver. Although she was playing a dangerous game by running the season finale without a crew chief. She had three previous crew chiefs that she had disagreements with and decided she could work on her own. But the day before the race, something bad happened during final practice. She had crashed into the inside wall hard, and hurt her left arm in the process. She was taken to the hospital to be checked over, and the doctor pointed out she had several cracks in her arm, along with popping a couple veins and blood vessels. The doctor told her that she was not clear to race, and she would need surgery ASAP. Even though she wasn't cleared by doctors, Lightning was stubborn and decided to race regardless. She was going to win the piston cup, and nothing was going to stop her. Her controversial decision to race with a severely damaged arm, made several fans worried. She would be starting dead last in a backup car, and was in for a painful 400 miles. She would not get surgery until the race was over.
Soon it was the night of the race and pre race coverage was now airing on FOX. The stadium lights were turned on, the track had a sold out crowd, and everyone was ready to end the season under the lights. Lightning was preparing herself in her trailer. I am speed she said out loud. One winner, forty two losers, I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast, when I get my surgery i'm not looking forward to breakfast. Hospital food always tastes terrible, no no no stay focused, speed. I'm faster than fast, quicker than quick, I am Lightning. Mack the banged on the side of the trailer. Hey Lightning, you ready? Oh yeah she said. Lightning's ready. The back of the trailer then opened up and Lightning was greeted by a swarm of paparazzi. Everyone began taking her picture. They'll be taking a whole lot more photos when i'm in victory lane she thought. She then shouted her signature catchphrase. KACHOW!
The race was starting soon and Matt Yocum was interviewing Lightning McQueen. Lightning, many fans are concerned about your condition said Matt. How do you plan on getting this done? I think people are worrying too much said Lightning. My arm is fine, and I can one hundred percent guarantee that not only am I going to win the Piston Cup, i'm also going to win the race. Oh, and this is to all the haters that think think females can't be athletes. She then flipped off the camera. Fuck you she said.
Soon the teams were making the final preparations to the cars. It wasn't long before all of the drivers and teams were called to pit road to begin pre race ceremonies. The last race of the season was about to start.
Authors note: I am aware that this idea is not original. I know that there are humanized cars stories, and stories with a gender-bent Lightning McQueen. However I only know of one humanized cars story on this site that actually covers the entire first movie, that being any other way by MSN. It's a good read, but dear lord the ending is stupid 7/10.
One issue that I noticed in a lot of humanized car stories, not to mention Cars stories in general, is the way the Piston Cup series is portrayed. The Piston Cup series is supposed to be a parody of the real life NASCAR cup series. When people write piston cup races, they get so many real life NASCAR facts incorrect. So for this story, i'm staying as accurate to real life NASCAR as possible. I am a diehard fan of the sport, and this movie is what got me into NASCAR. Hell, my first ever story on this site was about NASCAR.
Now let me just answer the question you are all probably asking. Do I plan on expanding past just the first movie? There are two sequels, a spinoff, a bunch of shorts, video games, and comic books. My answer is I don't know. Anything past the first movie is way more difficult to humanize. If you want to leave reviews suggesting how I can do the other installments, i'm all ears. But I am not guaranteeing that I will actually write them.
Thank you for reading and please have a great day.