It's a fight, staying aware in his own body as the dark keeps submerging him in waves of black, faint sparks on his tongue, cold clawing at his heart and Riku keeps reaching, reaching, towards that bright light right in front of him. It's warmth sinks into him, only to be swept away a mere moment later and Riku keeps fighting, keeps reaching, if only to fulfill that little just one more time screaming at him in the back of his mind.
I want to see his face just one last time.
He catches glimpses, when Ansem is too busy gloating at the trio in front of him, the dog and the duck and Riku's best friend. When Ansem is too busy spreading the darkness through the room to look inside and witness Riku's own, fragile spark twist and turn and claw at the walls and confines of his blackened heart.
Because Sora is smiling.
And it's not the sunny, radiant one that Riku cherishes with his whole being, it's the one he hates with all that he is, the one reminiscent of shattered shells digging into his heels, the one that wraps around indigo mischief and cerulean kindness and darkens it into twilight skies and gentle grief. It's the smile that is a poison too deadly, a blade too sharp for Riku's breaking heart, it carves memories of tiny hands ripping into his shirt and sobs hidden against his throat and a child smiling the smile at a mother just as lost and just as broken. Back then, Riku swore to himself that he would never be the cause of this smile.
Because this is the smile the other boy smiled the day he realized that his dad had left for good and all he had left was his mother, his grandfather and his friends. It was that horrible, indulgent smile when Sora decided to put others before himself, no matter how much it hurts the boy himself.
And Riku loathes his smile.
He yearns to wipe it off and pull his friend close and closer and hide him away from the world. Forever, if needed.
Bus as Sora raises the keyblade, shining black and darkness dripping in black ink down tanned fingers, all Riku can do is watch.
All he can do is witness his best friend, the boy he has loved longer than he can remember, ram that accursed keyblade into his own chest.
It dissolves into lights, six of them and Riku watches them float towards the princesses, he watches Kairi's heart burst out of Sora's chest and isn't that a sign from the gods that Sora was never meant to be his. Isn't that a sign that Riku should let go, so why can't he?
Kairi opens her eyes.
The dog and the duck scream and Sora, beautiful, vibrant, stupid Sora keeps smiling that smile as he starts fading, his feet, fingertips, light and fireflies.
His other best friend, Kairi, Kairi is awake , sprints towards Sora's crumbling frame and Riku breaks, he falls with Sora, soul ripped apart, heart torn to shreds.
Until nothing but a whispered "no" remains and a boy whose sacrifices, whose hard work dissolves into stardust and despair.
He watches Kairi grasp at the empty air and Sora's comrades defend her and he tries to reach up again.
She looks up and her eyes meet Ansem's, determination and defiance flaring up like a dying star and Riku's blood runs cold.
She can't fight, Kairi can't fight, she never practiced with their wooden swords, she has no magic, no way to defend herself and the darkness, he can see it approaching, slowly crawling around the trio, ircling colsoe, closer, closer.
They can't fight it all, he needs to distract Ansem somehow.
If only to protect one of his friends.
He failed one, he can not fail the other.
He needs to do this.
He needs to…
He needs…
He…
"You've got to run!" He howls and what little power he had left allows him to burst forth with a halo of light, his remaining strength draining almost instantly. He can feel it course through his form, spectral and see through as it is, he levels his gaze on Kairi and he pleads for her to use this window and run. "The heartless are coming!"
Ansem's surprise is short lived.
And the second Kairi is out of sight, pulled along by two pairs of hands, tailed by the heartless, Riku collapses into himself, only held up by a hand not his own anymore. It's bigger, skin dark, cold. Still, his anxiety unravels like a coil in his gut, he lets go of what little control he had for that blasted second white that terrible hand wraps around his throat.
"You got what you wanted." Riku wheezes as Ansem shoves him back into his heart, "Let them go. You have what you wanted. The door is open. Just let her go."
You took the other one, please don't take her as well.
Riku falls right back into the darkness, embraced by the black and gasping for air in a realm without.
All he can do now is watch. All he can do now is close his eyes and drown.
That kind voice is his only guidance as Riku dashes through the realm of darkness, as he dodges heartless and hindrances alike, forward, forward towards the sound of battle.
Destined to close the door . Rings in his head, Two hearts, two keys to close the door. Don't you feel the echoes of their hearts?
Sora, Kairi.
He owes them everything.
The battle draws closer, lights flashing above the dead trees of this realm, the voice, his own hope.
The door, he can see the door and there he is.
Sora, alive and well and whole, his Sora, his precious, dearly beloved, pulling at the door with his ridiculous noodle arms and Riku grins, wide and bright and grabs onto the edge opposite of his best friend.
"Don't give up!" He calls and as relief floods Sora's face, so does the anguish as the younger boy realizes their predicament.
As he realizes that Riku is going to stay on the other side, that they are closing the door from two opposite sides.
"Riku." Breathless and winded, Sora stares up at him and Riku could bridge this distance, these few feet, he could reach out and touch sora but if he does, he will never let go and his own desire can not outweigh the safety of the universe. So he refrains.
He lets go of this yearning, of his heart, he leaves that shard of light with Sora, hopeful that it will keep him safe until he finds his way back to Kairi.
They will be safe.
"C'mon Sora!" He smiles, his encouragement a mask of confidence, "Together, we can do it!"
Slowly, the door budges, slowly it closes, slowly, he starts losing sight of his best friend.
Just a little bit more and they will be safe.
"There… Just a little bit more."
Cold darkness at his back, shadows at his feet, just a little bit, just a little bit…
Their eyes meet as the door closes.
As long as you are safe, I can rest easy. You still have Kairi . Riku thinks and for a second he allows himself to drown in the endless blue, if only for the last time.
At least Sora doesn't smile that smile.
"Take care of her." Riku whispers and he watches his best friend pale, he watches him reach and reach and the door closes as Sora desperately tries to smile at him and fails spectacularly. Instead, he finally nods and sniffles.
The door closes.
Darkness falls.