MUMBAI...
25 March 2019.
"Hello! Lara! Aarush here!"
"Ooh! Aarush! How are you?"
"I'm fine here what about you?"
"Same here!"
"Have you closed your Whatapp or blocked me? Because I had text you on Whatapp and there was only a single tick for a long time!"
"No, maybe the number has been deleted. I didn't blocked you." ( I'm well known every security of Whatapp, he murmured).
"Ok! I need some help from you can you do that? Tomorrow there is the birthday of Krisha!"
"Oh! I forgot that tomorrow is Krisha birthday! Tell me what can I do for you?"
"Just a small favor! you have to give a gift to Krisha which I have for her, please don't tell me that you can't."
"I'm so sorry Aarush I can't assist this time, why don't you do it by yourself? She'll be very happy!"
"You know everything! that we have a breakup; otherwise I would have never troubled you."
"Aarush, please try to understand! I can't help you this time because I don't want a rift in our friendship. I don't know what happened between Krisha and you! But Aarush she wasn't talking to anyone, she didn't even told me anything what happened to her. I thought she'll harm herself, I was worried for her! But Thank God! she did nothing like that! When I meet her she cried so much. Thank God! now she is better than before. Even if I do good to anyone, at the end, I always become a bad person! So this time, I really don't want to interfere!"
Aarush silently whisper. (If Krisha would have been in my place then, she wouldn't have survived even for a day!) "Ok fair! I understand! But she kept holding the mistake of past, when we were not even in relationship!"
"Aarush little things makes a girl pang! She hasn't seen the world yet, she is not mature enough!"
"Yes! I already knew this Lara! Ok! Lara, It was nice talking to you! Bye, take care!"
"By Aarush! You too take care of yourself." Aarush dismally cut off the call.
"What happened! What she said?" Dhruv asked excitedly.
"Well! She said, I'm sorry I can't assist this time because she does not want any fight between her and Krisha!"
"But it's the only matter of giving the gift to her! Nothing else to do. Why she don't understand? I already told you! Don't take the gift. Because she don't deserve it literally. But you always don't listen and then regret. Now listen carefully! Tomorrow is her birthday. So you should wish her, because your wish on her birthday is more important than your gift! I know she didn't wish you, on your birthday. But if you too do the same, then what will be the difference between you and her? So wish her tomorrow, talk to her and tell her to meet you and then sought out the issues. Aarush! Always keep in mind that your simplicity is known by your behaviour and how you treat your people. Do something that the person in front of you feel ashamed. Play so gracefully that even after you lose the battle, you'll still be a winner! What is the value of a victory that is achieved by humiliating someone? Now go home have dinner and go to sleep."
A pleasant smile was engraved on Aarush's face. It seems like now he has no words to explain his pain, "A person who left in anger might come back again, but there's no coming back, when someone leaves you with a smile! She left me like, she was in search for a mistake! Because when we were in relation, a few months ago, that time she told me, the next time if we breakup, I swear to my dad! I will not patch-up again. That time I realized that she is not interested in me anymore. And after being patched up, she may not even bother to meet me. Our relationship was from 5 years, but not even for a single time, she asked me to meet or even said that she want to meet me! I want to wish her but I don't want to irritate her because it seems, she is happy without me. If she was sad, then she would have called me at least for once! She does not want to come into my life anymore. I accept that I am wrong, I had sex with another girl but I was not conscious that time, I only knew that it was very predicament for me. Only I knew what was going inside my head and how I was feeling. I was not talking to anyone, to be very honest I wanted to go far away from everyone, even I decided to leave the house! And despite all this, she didn't even tried at least for once, to ask me, how you did all these and how you can!...? Let it be now! I know that she don't want to be with me."
Dhruv took deep breath, "I know that things are always clear to the one who didn't want to end the relationship! But she don't want to clear the things! So now accept that she don't want to have a relationship. It would be right for you to forget it. Now I'm going to eat the food. I'm so hungry! And you also join now."
"I don't even feel hungry anymore." Without further words Aarush left.
The day he's been waiting for, was about to come in a few minutes 26th March. He remember that, on every birthday, his wish was always first. But this time he can't even wish her. And he cried a lot at the midnight of her birthday. He was not able to sleep, he wanted to dial her number and wish her. And then he thought that he should wish her because, he knew, how it feels when our special person did not wish us on our special day. He don't want to give her that same feeling because the feeling is very disastrous. Immediately he started texting her but halt. "Might be she's happy without me, and I don't want to annoy her." He control himself too vastly. After 4 o'clock he felt drowsy.
Finally, her birthday arrived, the day he was waiting for last 2-3 months. He was very happy about her birthday, He don't believe in God but on her birthday, He prayed, "Dear God, keep the love of my life safe within your arms. May peace, health and happiness be with her in every walk of her life. Help her in her work and let her feel your Holy Presence today and always."
That day he went to the orphanage and he celebrated her birthday with little adorable children. The little small girl cut the cake, she was very charming and she was very cheerful, her happiness was worth seeing. Whenever he feel miserable, he go to the orphanage and feel joyous to see them delighted.
That day neither did he smoke nor he drink because she hates when he smoke or drink and he don't want to see her unhappy on her birthday. A urge to smoke and drink was taking best of his nerves but he controlled all his strong urges just for her. He heard a pang on his door and it reveal to Dhruv. "Hey man! What's wrong with you? Come we'll go out for a walk." Aarush sighed. "I'm not in mood really, please you go alone."
"If I had to go alone, I would have gone by myself! Now come let's go." Aarush smiled and they both walked down street. After a few minutes of walk, Aarush saw Krisha's Ex-boyfriend. He was with his friend. Aarush over heard him talking about Krisha so he halt to listen more.
"Wow men! Your ex-girlfriend is so sexy! Why don't you patch-up with her again?" Krisha's ex chuckled. "See, If you don't want to patch-up, let me have her then. She's way too hot! I would love to enjoy her!" The words felt a pointed knife to Aarush's ear and his nerves took his best. He failed to control his anger and charged on him. Punch after punch, kicks after kicks, shirt torn, hairs messy, body muddy, and eyes was burning in rage. "How dare you talk such shitty things about her!?" Aarush's hands was hitting the boy badly. His face was covered in blood.
"Aarush! Stop it! What you doing! Leave him he'll die!" Aarush heard Dhruv's warning but he was so uncontrollable that his hand was not ready to stop. Forcefully Dhruv gripped Aarush's arm and separated him from the boy. "He's speaking shit about her! How can I just ignore that!?"
"So you'll fight with each and everyone!?" Aarush didn't utter a single word. "By the way, how did he has her photo? And I even heard that they both were talking again?" After a few minutes of silence Aarush spoke. "She even said to me that we can also be a good friend. But I denied. How's that even possible for me? She's asking me to be friend after being in relation with her! It's like kidnapper asking to stay in touch after letting you go!" Let's suppose we are planting a seed in garden today. We are watering it everyday continuously. After some months or years, it turns to a big tree. Now let's assume the seed is a normal friendship and the Big tree is a exclusive relationship. Do you think a big tree can turn to a seed again? No right? Changing the name of relations won't change the feelings.
It was evening and still he had not wished her. Then suddenly he remember one article. "Relationship never dies a natural death. They are killed by attitude, ego, behaviour or oblivion. When the ego dies, the soul awakes." These thought changed his mind and anyway, he has to give her gift so he hesitantly texted her. "Happy Birthday! God Bless You!" He felt that wishing your favourite person is more important than giving them a gift.
He didn't receive quick message from her. After few minutes his phone beep, which read her name. Immediately he opens her chat. A "Thank You." from her. He waited for a while in a hope that she'll ask about his condition, but his hopes lead to darkness! That time he felt nasty. He thought, people were right who says that, never expect anything from anyone. But also the truth is that, if you really love someone, we except little care and love from them. And these is human nature! One thing is clear and which he learned is, our own expectations makes us sad and gives birth to disease called "DEPRESSION." And for these peoples are not to blame. If anyone is to blame is you! Yourself!
Never get too attached to anyone unless they reciprocal. Because one sided efforts will destroy you mentally. Also attachment leads to expectations, expectations leads to disappointment. And the best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone because peace began when expectations end. But after all, he loves her is the biggest truth and he can't deny that. His mind thought about his self-respect but what about heart? Heart always crave for love and forces you to step beyond self-respect. So he again messaged her. And after a small conversation he finally asked her what he wants to, "MEETING!"
Somewhere he knew her answer but still he was hoping for else. But she deny. She told him that now her college is not open and she don't go out anywhere. Again expectation! Again disappointment! It's sad for him. She didn't even have five minutes for him! He just wanted to meet her for five-ten minutes. He wanted to give her gift, which he buy for her and say her sorry for everything he did. Somehow, he convenced her for meeting. She did agree on a day fixed by her, which is Sunday. The day when her dad has off of work. She knew very well, her dad will never allow her to go out. Then too she promised him meeting on Sunday! He knew, the promise which she made, she'll fail to keep.
The two days passed and at Saturday night, he messaged her. He knew very well she will never message him because she was never excited to meet him! These behavior of her, made Aarush think that did she ever want to meet him? She never took efforts to meet him or even desired to meet him!
Finally he got his reply. "I haven't asked yet. I'll take permission tomorrow and will let you know." Just a single text! It seems like more formality. She didn't even bother to ask him anything else. When we give importance to someone, they think you are always free. But the truth is you make yourself free for them. Even, when you are dealing with heavy schedule. But when you give someone importance more than they deserve, they ignores you and that's when you lose your value!
Whenever he's about to meet her, his excitement never let him sleep. He was very happy. He will see her after one and half year. Don't know why! But these time he was hoping that she will come. The thought alone made him blush and he chuckled. The whole day of tomorrow engraved in front of his eyes. The illusion that his mind always creates whenever she promise him to meet. But every time, his beautiful dream shatter into thousand pieces and at last he's the one who collects every small piece! Let's see, what happens these time!
And finally there's dawn! The day that kept his night awake! Meeting day! He fell off for a while and his eyes snapped open. He looked at the clock, it was 7'O clock. He got up from his bed and went straight inside of bathroom. After having fresh shower, he ironed his cloths and polished his shoes. He always want to look like a gentleman for her. His past hold something bitter and that's why, he always wanted to look decent in front of her. Because he's always afraid of losing her. Every minute he kept checking his phone. But not a single beep! The nervousness start heating him but he still ignored all his guts and hope she'll come! At last his phone blink at 8.10am. Hurriedly he checked his phone and yes! It was her message! Before opening her chat a smile creeped over his face. "I had talk with my dad and he deny, so I can't able to meet you. I'm sorry!"
The smile fades. But still he smile. He felt like all his guts, his destiny, laughing on his stupid hopes, which he kept on her! They were all calling him fool, stupid and he smiled on his defeat, his loss! "It's ok! Don't be sorry. I'm used to these! After all, it's not the first time you did these!" She kept his message seen. He was waiting for message but there was none. She didn't even said that any other day she'll meet him. These small little things hurt him the most.
At that time he remembered everything, how she treated him. It all started with the first meeting, when she asked him to meet. But she didn't came! From that day, till today, she had always broked her promise. Whenever she used to go to meet her friend, everytime she said that she'll call me for meeting, but her call never came! At last one day she fixed the meeting date! And the day arrived. He was at cousin's home, Thane. When he reached to station, he received her message, and the message says, that she's not going to come, because there's some problem, her teacher caught her. She thinks he's fool! If there's a function in your college, and you are not working in college function or you are not assisting it, then you presence doesn't matter to teacher. After all, it's not a school! If you don't want to attain, you can leave!
It has been 1 year! They didn't meet yet! Her college started, but still she never asked him to meet! Not even once! Finally, he asked her, "Can we meet?" And her answer was, she'll try! Fortunately, a meeting date was fixed. He reached at there decided place. He waited for a while, but there was no sign from her side, so he decided to call her. But she didn't received. Afterwards he received her message. "I'm sorry! I slept!" he don't know what to say on these! So he didn't replied.
Again one day, there meeting date was fixed. That time he was in village. They decided to meet on 26th December. And immediately he packed his stuffs. His grandmother, wasn't ready to leave him. She wanted Aarush to stay with her, but he broke her heart. His train was on 25th of December. But the addition in his bad luck is, the train got cancelled! And Krisha was going to come on 26th December. So he decided to come by another route. And at last he reached Mumbai. And at the same night he messaged her about meeting, or more likely to confirm the meeting! And she said the word, I was afraid of! "NO!" She has holiday! He thought if she really wants to meet me, than, she would have gave some excuse to her family. Everything was already fixed. Also she knew that, he was coming from village just to meet her! And then he decided to break up! He was angry. But she didn't even came to calm him or comfort him! After that she went on so many trips with her friends, but she didn't thought of meeting him. At last he was the only one, who said sorry for everything he said in anger. And then their relation got started. These was the day, when she swear her dad! "I'll never patch up again!"
He again messaged her, "When you'll meet me?" Because on 1st of April he will be leaving for is village and might be, he will never come back, he lied. He thought she'll meet. After a pause he got his reply. "Ok! I think we should not meet! It'll be better for both of us!" Really! She thought not meeting each other will be better for both of them! If you are in love with someone is there no desire, no wish to meet them!? Maybe "Not meeting" or "No meeting" is better for her, but not for him. He just wanted to spend a little time with her. He wanted to make her day, make her happy, create some beautiful moments with her. But he knew, these will not happen!
"Do me a favor Krisha! Please meet me at least for once!" "Ok! I'll meet you tomorrow." Later in evening Dhruv came to meet Aarush. He saw Aarush sitting on his bike vacantly. He notice sadness over his face and understood that these time again she cancelled the meeting. "Hey brother! What's up? Come! let's go somewhere." A sad smile was creeped over Aarush's face." "Ummm! I'm feeling sleepy Dhruv!" Dhruv saw a bottle of Alcohol in Aarush hand. "Aarush! Skip drinking these death!" Aarush laughed like Dhruv had passed a very funny joke! "These is the only one who is loyal! These Alcohol, to whom you call death, is my beloved companion! Only these death keep me away from the mental pain, which my love had given to me! These death makes me fall asleep at night!" The sadness in Aarush heart was visible in his voice. "But that doesn't mean you should keep drinking these death!" Aarush chuckled. "Death! I'm already dying from inside Dhruv!" And without any further word. Aarush left the place.
Dhruv was so upset, that he messaged Krisha. "What's your problem? Why are you hurting him so much!? What's his mistake?" like wise Aarush, Dhruv didn't got late reply. She saw his message and replied him." I thought you were his best-friend! Also you was an eye witness of what happen between us! Even you know the reason! Didn't you? And you are still asking me, Why I'm doing these! Really Dhruv!?" There was a pause from Dhruv side for a while.
"I know everything! But one thing you are not aware of! If it's not for Aarush, I would have told you the whole truth! But I can't break the promise I made to him. But I even know, the day you'll learn the truth, you'll regret!"
"Oh really!? Then spill out the truth! I want to know everything!"
"Here's the problem stand! I can't break my promise. I'm not like you! I keep my promises."
"Good! Very good! You keep your promise, I'll keep my truth. The truth. Aarush confessed."
"Hmm! But whatever he did that time. He was unconscious!"
"What matter is, he did! Just tell me one thing, if your girlfriend had cheated on you, if she had sex with someone else, doesn't matter if she's conscious or not, what would you have done?"
Dhruv was silent. "That's you answer! Dhruv you can see your friend's pain! But you can't see mine!" Dhruv felt like he's bond by spells! A spells, he promise to Aarush! To not let out the truth. "But you and Aarush wasn't in relationship that time! Why don't you sought out things with him?" She didn't reply anything.
After few hours Aarush woke up and saw Dhruv right front of him sitting on a couch. "Why are you still here?" Dhruv didn't spoke any single word. "Why didn't you just tell her everything? Whatever happen in past was not fully your mistake! You was unconscious!" Aarush stood up from his bed and sat in front of Dhruv. "See Dhruv! A mistake is a mistake. And we cannot change it. I really want to clear her misunderstanding but you know, how things going on! Let's see if tomorrow she'll come or not."
Another uneasy night! He messaged her that night. "Have you decided the timing and place?"
"No! Not yet! Let's meet near Disha's house.
"No! Her house is not safe for meeting, If anyone will see us, You'll be in trouble. I don't want to spoil your reputation."
"Don't think much about me!" There was a pause between them. "But I want to…!Let's meet near your college, It will be safe for you. Even if anyone see's us, it will not create any problem."
"Ok!" And the meeting day arrived. He was all ready as always. She called him. "Where are you? I'm at my college."
"I'm on the way." He start up engine and drive very fast. He thought she'll come alone, so she'll sit at the backseat of his bike. But soon his dream shattered by seeing Lara with her. They both was on scooty of Lara.
"Am I, too bad? That she didn't even feel comfortable and safe with me! Where do I fail to make her feel secured?"
The thought made him sad but still he was happy, because he is seeing her after a year! His first question was "How are you?"
"I'm good! What about you?" Aarush didn't replied.
"Krisha! There's a big misunderstanding between us! Please give me last chance to explain everything. Whatever you are thinking is not the truth! Please Krisha! Just one chance. I promise, I'll fix everything!"
"Sorry! I can't! I already gave you many chances. Every time you asked for another chance. I always gave you, But this time, Sorry! I can't. You have no idea Aarush how I felt, I cried my heart out when Lara came to meet me. It wasn't easy for me. I felt like, I'll loose my mind! And these pain you gave to me. How can you still ask for a chance!"
His head was facing towards the earth. He was quiet, his words chocked him. The flood of tears ran through his heart. He had a vibe! A vibe that told him, might be it's the last time he's seeing her!
"You are the only boy in your house. You have many responsibilities. Why are you spoiling your life by drinking alcohol! Drinking alcohol will not going to solve your problem. Every time you make new girlfriend after a breakup. Even you clicked photos so close with Diana! I don't remember, when was the last time, I got closed to a boy or clicked any photo with any boy! We had a fight, I was quite even when you was saying shits to me! What did you called me? A flirty girl!"
"Aarush even after all these I forgive your each and every mistake! But these time, there's no chance! These of your mistake is too big to gulp for me! Even no girl would have forgive you, for your these mistake!"
Her words to him felt like a stab in his back! It feels like, the person who broke your both legs, is now asking you to run! That time he remember, at the very early stage of their relationship she said him, that they both were made for, forever! But afterwards, she was the only one, who warned him, that they both were not made for, forever! Is she was confused about her own feelings? But one thing is for sure. The truth, she second told him, she stood up on it!
He had an answer for her each and every accusation. That day he didn't saw love in her eyes. That day he learned, that people make wrong allegations to break relationship! They didn't even bother to ask you, if their assumption are right or wrong. His eyes filled with tears. He felt like someone had put lots of loads on his chest, which he can't able to lift. She saw his eyes filled with tears and he saw how badly she was hurt! He handed her gift and without further word he went off.