Paper Stargate Atlantis

by Ashley Winter Roberts

In Paper Mario 64, Bowser stole the Star Rod, but Mario managed to rescue the Star Spirits and defeat him. But, how would that adventure have been different if John Sheppard and his team from Atlantis gated into the Mushroom Kingdom during it?

The sun rose on another beautiful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Parakarry, the mailman, flew through the blue skies carefreely, not noticing several letters falling from his pouch as he flew. He descended into a small clearing in the middle of a forest, where the Mario Brothers' house was. He took a letter out from his pouch, cried out, "Mail call!", and flew away.

Luigi, the green-capped younger Mario Brother, came out of the house, quickly descended the stairs, grabbed the mail, and headed back in. As he entered, he called out, "Hey, Mario! We got a letter from Princess Peach!"

Mario, the red-capped hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, walked out of the bedroom to greet his brother. Luigi said, "I'll read it to you, OK?" Luigi opened the letter and held it before him. "Alright, let's see…"

"I'm throwing a party at my castle today! Mario and Luigi, I would be honored if you both could attend. Many guests from distant towns are hoping to meet you. There will be tasty sweets and all kinds of entertainment! I hope to see you here soon! Sincerely, Peach."

A few minutes later, Mario and Luigi jogged out of their house and jumped onto the warp pipe connecting their house and Toad Town. They slid down the warp pipe as easily as paper, and emerged in the entrance area of Toad Town. They walked towards the castle, enjoying the gentle breeze of the wind and the morning sun on their faces, before heading into the castle.

The foyer of Peach's castle was already packed with all sorts of different guests, enjoying the food and mingling with each other. "What a magnificent castle!" Luigi exclaimed as he and Mario walked in. "I never get used to this place. It looks like lots of guests are already here."

Suddenly, what seemed like a small earthquake shook the ground and walls of the castle. The guests yelled in fear and began panicking, huddling near the walls. Mario and Luigi were knocked off their feet, but quickly jumped up again. Then, the shaking stopped, as suddenly as it had started.

Murmurs and whispers began to break out amongst the crowd. "What was that…?" Luigi asked. Mario held his hand to his chin, like he was thinking. Luigi motioned towards one of the doors heading to another room of the castle. "It kinda sounded like it came from that storage room...should we investigate, bro?"

Mario nodded. The party guests watched as he and Luigi walked towards the door that the quake came from. Some of the guests seemed scared, while others seemed excited that they might get a chance to witness the famous Mario Brothers in action!

They stopped at the door, and Luigi pressed his ear against it. "I hear voices…" Luigi said. He looked at the party guests and asked, "Did anyone see someone go into this room?" All the guests shook their heads. "Looks like we have some uninvited guests…" Luigi said anxiously. He looked at Mario and said, "Are you ready, bro?"

Mario answered with his trademark jump. "Okay…" Luigi nervously said. His hand was shaking as he placed it on the doorknob, and slowly pulled open the door. He and Mario stepped into the room, and closed the door behind them. The storage room's lights were off, and Luigi could barely see anything, making him wish he had a flashlight with him. Then, suddenly, a light flashed across his face, causing him to shriek in fear! "Ah! Who's there?!"

"Relax!" a voice said. "We're friendly. Any idea where the lights are?"

Another flashlight shined near the door that the Mario Brothers came in through, illuminating a light switch. Mario flipped the switch, and they saw four humans standing in the room, next to what seemed to be a large mechanical probe and a pedestal with all sorts of different symbols on it. Mario got into a fighting stance as Luigi nervously asked, "W-who are you?!"

"John Sheppard," the person who spoke first introduced himself. "United States Air Force." He motioned to each one of his teammates and introduced them. "Dr. Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan, and Ronon Dex."

"How'd you get in here?" Luigi asked.

"We came through the Stargate," John said. "That big ring back there?" John pointed behind him, and Luigi saw a large ring-like object standing in the back."

"The...Stargate?" Luigi asked. "I thought that was just some big ceremonial ring that Kolorado dug up in the desert."

"Haha, no," Rodney said. "It's an incredibly advanced piece of alien technology."

Teyla explained, "We use it to travel between different worlds. Have your people not used it before?"

Luigi shook his head. Then, realization came over him, and he nervously asked, "Wait...so you're saying you're aliens from another planet?!"

"Don't worry," John smiled. "We're the friendly kind of aliens. We used to live in Atlantis, if that name means anything to you."

Luigi shook his head. "No, but...if you're friendly, then I'm sure Princess Peach would love to meet you. She's the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom! Actually, there's a huge party going on in the castle right now, and I'm sure that if you explained everything to Peach, she would love to have you as guests!"

John stepped forward and smiled. "I love a good party."

"Great!" Luigi said. "Follow me!"

As Mario and Luigi opened the door, and the Atlantis team made their way towards it, Rodney whispered to John, "I'm not picking up any energy readings. They're probably just a medieval society that don't have anything to offer us."

"Appearances can be deceiving, Rodney," John whispered back.

"Well, obviously," Rodney said with some annoyance in his voice. "But at least I could pick up the Genii's nuclear reactors. I can't pick up any sort of energy reading here."

"Relax, Rodney," John whispered back. "Let's just see how it goes. If nothing else, we can enjoy the party before heading back to Atlantis."

"Fine," Rodney grumbled.

As they exited the storage room, they saw Princess Peach standing there, along with some Toad guards. "Princess Peach!" Luigi exclaimed. "We have some visitors! They say they come from another world!"

"Really?" Peach asked, amazed. "If that's the case, then let me welcome you to the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"It's a pleasure, ma'am," John smiled.

"Let me give you a tour of the castle," Peach said. She turned to Mario and asked, "Mario, would you like to accompany us?" He nodded.

Luigi said, "I'll mingle with the other guests!" He turned to the Atlantis team and said, "Enjoy yourselves!"

As they toured the castle, they noticed several of the partygoers looking at them and whispering. "I guess they're not used to visitors from other planets," Rodney said.

As they passed by a Toad, a Koopa Troopa, and a penguin, Teyla commented, "I have never seen so many different species on one planet…"

As Ronon munched on a piece of cake that he had grabbed, he said, "Don't seem like they can defend themselves much."

"Indeed," Teyla said thoughtfully. "I wonder how they protect themselves from the Wraith."

"The who?" Princess Peach asked. Rodney's eyes lit up at this.

John explained, "The Wraith are these really bad guys. They suck the life out of people with suckers they have on their hands. They're all over the galaxy, and we've been trying to fight them for the past few years."

"I've never heard of such a terrible creature living in the Mushroom Kingdom," Peach said.

"Well, well, that's great!" Rodney excitedly said. "You must have some sort of defensive system that you don't know about; likely Ancient in design, probably powered by a ZPM!"

"Rodney, you're salivating," John said, causing Peach to chuckle.

"If the Wraith have never threatened the Mushroom Kingdom," Teyla said, "then it could serve as a place to evacuate worlds that are under threat from them."

"If the Wraith are as bad as you say," Peach said, "then we'd love to help you in any way we can." Mario jumped in agreement. "Of course, I should warn you that not all is peaceful here, either. We're constantly under threat from Bowser and his Koopa clan."

"The Koopa clan?" Ronon repeated.

Peach nodded. "Bowser has been trying to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom for years." She smiled and continued, "Luckily, Mario has always been able to beat him and save us." Mario nodded.

"Well," John said, "if Bowser is as bad as you say, then we can certainly offer our own help in dealing with him."

"That'd be wonderful!" Peach exclaimed.

As they approached the throne room of the castle, Rodney suddenly noticed a beeping coming from his tablet. "What's that?" Ronon asked as Rodney looked at his tablet.

"I'm picking up a massive energy surge coming from underground," Rodney said.

John looked at Mario and Peach. "Do you know what that is?" he asked, but they seemed just as confused.

Before he could get an answer, though, everything began violently rumbling and shaking! "Hit the deck!" John shouted. They rushed to the walls, trying to avoid pieces of the roof that were falling in. After a minute or so, the rumbling slowly subsided.

"Does that happen often?" John asked Peach.

Peach shook her head. "We never get earthquakes in the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"That wasn't an earthquake…" Rodney said.

"If it wasn't an earthquake, then what was it, Rodney?" John asked.

"I don't know, but it wasn't an earthquake!" Rodney said irritably. "Look, I told you I was picking up some sort of energy surge. That happened right before the earthquake began!"

"I thought you said it wasn't an earthquake!"

"I was just-"

"Sheppard," Ronon interrupted them. He, Teyla, Mario, and Peach were staring out one of the large windows on the wall. John and Rodney approached them, and gasped in awe.

"Are those…" John began.

"Stars," Rodney finished.

"Was it not just daytime?" Teyla asked.

"Well," Rodney said anxiously, "either this planet has an unusually short day and night cycle, or…"

"Get down!" Ronon shouted. They all hit the ground, as the window shattered and some sort of aircraft flew in! Then, the ground shook as a massive dragon-like turtle landed on the floor, accompanied by a Magikoopa in purple robes!

"Bowser!" Peach exclaimed as she and the others got up.

"That's Bowser?" John asked as he aimed his P90 and Ronon aimed his particle magnum at Bowser.

"The one and only!" Bowser laughed. "Long time no see, Princess Peach, Mario! I see you have some new friends!"

"It was you who made the ground shake just now, wasn't it?" Peach asked as Mario got into a fighting position. "Whatever did you do?!"

"Gwa ha ha! Yeah, that was me! I've lifted your castle up into the sky! It's sitting on my castle now! Weren't expecting that, huh?"

"Teyla, Rodney," John whispered, "get to the 'gate. Radio Weir for backup."

"R-right…" Rodney nervously said as he and Teyla turned around and rushed out of the room.

"Listen, you...uh...turtle," John said. "I don't know who you are, but you're not being very friendly. On the other hand, Peach and Mario here have been friendly. So, if you guys are gonna fight, I'm gonna side with the people who have been friendly to us, rather than the big scary turtle who's not being so friendly!"

"Bwa ha ha!" Bowser laughed evilly. "Bring it on!"

"I warned you!" John pulled the trigger on his P90, and a short burst of three bullets shot out of it. However, they ricocheted off of Bowser's scales, not doing much damage to him. Mario rushed towards Bowser and jumped on him, but the Koopa King grabbed the plumber and tossed him away. Ronon fired a burst from his particle magnum, which exploded against Bowser's skin and caused the Koopa to cry in pain. John fired his P90 on full automatic; most of the bullets still bounced off, but some of them began digging into Bowser's scales and causing the Koopa King pain.

"Grah!" Bowser growled. "You guys are putting up a better fight than I expected...but this is where it ends!" Bowser reached out into his shell, and pulled out a wand with a star on its tip. "Take a look at this! Look what I stole from Star Haven! It's the Star Rod! This fine piece of work has the power to grant any wish in the whole world, and when I use the Star Rod to increase my strength, none of you can beat me! Not even you, Mario!"

John and Ronon watched cautiously as Bowser lifted the Star Rod in the air. Energy came out from it, and waves of energy coalesced into Bowser, causing him to begin glowing a rainbow of colors. "Gwa ha ha! I'm invincible!"

"We'll see about that," Ronon said. He and John began firing once again, but this time, all of the bullets from John's P90 bounced off harmlessly, while Bowser didn't even flinch from the energy bolts fired by Ronon's particle magnum. When the two stopped firing, Mario tried to jump on Bowser, but Bowser laughed as Mario harmlessly bounced off.

"Gwa ha ha ha! Is that all you've got? How sad!" John and Ronon traded a worried look, as Mario and Peach did the same. Bowser boasted, "Just as I expected, Mario and his friends are no match for the new me. It's not even worth my time to toy with you anymore. It's time to end this!" Bowser reared his head back, and flame began to build up in his mouth.

"Take cover!" John shouted.

"Here we go, Mario! Good night!" A massive wall of flame came out from Bowser's mouth, completely enveloping Mario, John, and Ronon.

"Oh no!" Peach shrieked.

After a few seconds, the wall of flame dissipated, leaving only the charred and dead bodies of Mario and the two Atlantis team members.

Bowser laughed in victory. "Yes! Oh, yeah! I did it! I finally did it! I beat my old rival Mario! Yessss!"

"Congratulations on your victory, Your Viciousness!" the Magikoopa in purple robes, Kammy Koopa, exclaimed. "That's why you're the king!"

Bowser turned to Kammy and held the Star Rod in the air. As long as I have this Star Rod, everything I wish will come true! No one can stop me now!"

Meanwhile, a few minutes earlier, Rodney and Teyla made their way down the castle stairs, trying to get back to the Stargate. As they entered the foyer, but before going down the steps, they crouched underneath one of the guardrails, and looked down at the ground floor. Several Koopatrols, Hammer Bros, and Magikoopas were rounding up the party guests, tying them up and escorting them out of the castle. "How are we gonna avoid those guards?" Rodney asked in a panic.

Teyla looked towards the door to the storage room. Most of the party guests were away from it, meaning that most of Bowser's guards were away from it as well. "If we jump over the guardrail," Teyla said, "we might be able to quietly get to the storage room and dial the Stargate."

"We'll have to be careful…" Rodney said. They crept over as close as they could to the storage room door, and then quietly and stealthily leapt over the guardrail, down to the main floor. Well, Teyla did it quietly and stealthily, at least. Rodney almost fell, and Teyla had to catch him and help him get down.

As the two humans quietly opened the door and entered it, a Dark Koopatrol in the center of the room, who seemed to be leading the others, took notice of them. "You two," he said to two ordinary Koopatrols near him. "Come with me." They made their way over to the storage room door, and opened it. "You two!" the Dark Koopatrol yelled at the humans. "Stop right there!"

"Oh, shoot!" Rodney exclaimed.

"Dial the Stargate!" Teyla shouted as she pointed her P90 at the Koopatrols. Rodney rushed towards the DHD, and the two ordinary Koopatrols rushed at Teyla. Teyla fired her P90 on full automatic, filling the Koopatrols' armor with holes. Luckily, the Koopatrol armor held up against P90 fire about as well as Serpent Guard armor did, and both Koopatrols were down and out in seconds.

Teyla turned her attention to the Dark Koopatrol, who quickly ducked into his shell. Teyla fired again, but the Dark Koopatrol's armor seemed to be much tougher than the ordinary ones', and he was able to slide out of the room and escape. As he did that, Rodney pressed the central red button on the DHD, causing a burst of energy to escape from the Stargate as it activated.

"Atlantis base!" Rodney said into his radio as he quickly tried to pull out his GDO. "This is McKay! We're coming in hot!"

Teyla rushed to him as he punched the code into the GDO. Then, they both suddenly started to feel drowsy. They looked to the entrance of the room, and saw a herd of sheep coming in! "What the…?" Rodney muttered.

The sheep touched Rodney and Teyla, and within moments, both of them fell to the ground, sound asleep. The Dark Koopatrol stepped back in the room and smiled as he saw that his Sleepy Sheep had worked. Then, he looked up at the active Stargate in awe. He glanced over to the DHD, and saw the glyphs that were pressed in on it. The Stargate then closed.

A few more Koopatrols rushed into the room. "Tie these two up and get them to the throne room," the Dark Koopatrol said. "I have to report to King Bowser…"

Back in the throne room, Bowser was still gloating over having defeated Mario, John, and Ronon. "Not even Mario's new friends could stop me!" Bowser laughed. "Bwa ha ha ha! I rule!"

"Yes," Kammy said, "though I do wonder where those new friends came from. I'd never seen them before…"

"King Bowser!" a voice came. The Dark Koopatrol from before came in, as well as two other ordinary Koopatrols who were escorting Rodney and Teyla. They had woken up, though they were tied up and unable to escape.

"Kuard!" Bowser exclaimed. "What does my Koopatrol Prime have to report?"

"The castle has been secured," Kuard said. "All of Peach's party guests have been moved to the prisons in your castle. Also, we managed to capture these two humans trying to escape."

"Hahaha! Idiots!" Bowser laughed at Rodney and Teyla. "We're soooooo high above the sky right now. Not even Mario had a chance of escaping, if he had tried to!" Though Rodney was still a bit groggy from the Sleepy Sheep and probably didn't even hear Bowser, Teyla was staring at him defiantly.

"Actually, my king…" Kuard said, "...I saw something extremely interesting. I'd like to show you, as well. As soon as possible."

"Alright, fine," Bowser said. He looked at Mario, John, and Ronon's charred bodies still laying scattered on the ground. "Though, first...I might as well get rid of Mario and his friends. They're no good to anyone now, that's for sure."

Bowser raised the Star Rod into the air, and energy coalesced into it. Then, Rodney, Teyla, and Peach gasped in shock as lightning bolts appeared and slammed into Mario, John, and Ronon, launching their bodies out of the broken window!

"NOOOO!" they all screamed. Peach, the only one who wasn't tied up, ran over to the broken window and looked down over it, watching the bodies of the three fall through the clouds towards the ground…

Meanwhile, lightyears away, Elizabeth Weir stepped into the control room of Atlantis. She had heard the Stargate open, and a defense team had been ordered to the 'gate, but not much after that. "What happened?" she asked Chuck, the gate technician.

"I don't know," Chuck said. "Dr. McKay dialed in and said that he and his team were coming in hot, but he never transmitted an IDC, and the 'gate shut down."

"That's not good…" Elizabeth said. "What's the status of the Daedalus?"

"It just got to Earth a few hours ago," Chuck said.

"Meaning any help from them is at least three weeks away…" Elizabeth sighed. "Have Lorne and a team of marines ready to ship out in an hour."

"Yes, ma'am!"

As Chuck turned to his computer, Elizabeth stepped to look at the now-empty Stargate, and wondered, John...Teyla...Rodney...Ronon...what's happening out there? Please be safe...