Summary: And maybe I'm off the mark entirely. But I'm willing to take that risk. Because I'm not auditioning for the post you've advertised for, but the one you haven't.

Notes: This is the start of a season 3 rewrite series that chucks out Savitar as the overarching villain. Instead the team has to actually deal with their interpersonal issues, HR's museum doesn't flop, and Cynthia winds up starting a social revolution on Earth 19 that somehow keeps getting HR yelled at when he's not even on that Earth anymore. Tracey will eventually show up despite the missing Savitar plot, because Tracey/HR was cute. And there'll be Cisco/Harry going on while HR and his new honorary niece Jesse play matchmakers.

But it all starts here with a somewhat... different audition tape for HR as he plots to get away from a soured friendship and a ruined reputation and an Earth he's become heavily disillusioned with. After all, Team Flash doesn't really need yet another genius on staff. They need a new perspective and someone to run interference for them. And HR is exactly the right Wells to do that.

Series: "Coffee, Drumsticks, and Social Revolutions" - First in series

The Audition

"They want a genius," Randolf said after the decoded holographic message came to an end. An observation, perhaps.

Or maybe he'd just seen the expression on HR's face and thought a warning was in order.

They want a genius. Not whatever the hell HR is. Not a genius, that's for sure. Not anymore.

"Good thing I have years of experience faking genius," HR retorted anyway, just to see if Randolf would react. If maybe, just maybe, he'd have the good grace to look guilty.

He doesn't.

"I want to try auditioning anyway." HR gives Randolf a steady look, drumsticks twirling between his fingers.

"Okay." Not a protest about how leaving their Earth is illegal. A death sentence in the worst case scenario. Life imprisonment in the best. Not worth the risk. Just... okay.

Not that HR brings up the potential consequences of his actions, should the Collectors get wind of him leaving Earth 19 for some other Earth, either. He's tired. Tired of the press calling him a fraud. Tired of STAR Labs lawyers insisting they settle out of court while the jerk who broke his NDA parades around on talk shows like some whistle blowing hero. Tired of Randolf keeping quiet about why HR had been taking credit for his work and acting like this whole mess is HR's fault when it was all Randolf's idea from the get go.

HR had always known the house of cards would fall down eventually.

But what really upsets him the most over this whole snafu is the speculation on who really wrote his novels. The one accomplishment that was truly, wholly HR's and they were trying to take that away too.

A fraud once, a fraud many times over.

HR's just... tired of it all. And running away to another Earth is, surprisingly enough, a lot cheaper than trying to run away to a deserted island in the middle of the ocean.

"So how do I send them an audition tape?" HR asked, knowing that if the tech doesn't exist yet, then Randolf will invent it. And probably take less time than he normally would.

Randolf wants rid of HR that badly.

"I'll rig something up tonight," Randolf promises quickly. Just like HR knew he would.

HR takes the holographic message home with him and rewatches it a few times. Or a few dozen.

Takes meticulous notes in his cramped but easily legible handwriting, noting important details about Team Flash, key points of their recruitment speech. Tries to get in their heads to determine what they really want. What can HR promise them to get him the hell away from Earth 19?

And the truth is... nothing. He's not even remotely what they're asking for. He's not a genius - not anymore - and he's been playing at being people he isn't for so long that HR can't say with any real certainty who he is either.

He's got exactly two skills. A talent for prose and a knack for running a business. Randolf had never bothered with the business side of STAR Labs. That was all HR's arena. HR doubts his skill for writing award winning novels for adults and children alike was going to score him any points with Team Flash. And they weren't looking for a businessman. They didn't need...

HR hesitated and ran the message again. Watched their interactions with HR's Earth 2 doppelganger. Watched the way Harry Wells gazed at the members of Team Flash. At one of them in particular. And, slowly, HR smiled.

He wrote down one final note before he finally turned in to bed for the night.

They don't need what they're asking for. They already have it.

In the morning HR walks into Randolf's lab at STAR Labs and is presented with a holographic recorder.

"You can record as many takes as you like. Once you have a final version, you just enter this sequence," Randolf handed him a piece of paper with a number scribbled, near illegibly, on it. HR's used to Randolf's handwriting by now, though, so he reads it easily enough. "Once the number has been registered by the keypad, it'll send the last recording made to Earth 1 where Team Flash will receive it. Don't spam them with recordings or they'll never pick you," Randolf warns. "You've got one shot at this, so take your time and make it count."

"I'm working on a speech," HR said, staring at the device with a quiet smile. "Once it's ready, it'll be a standout performance."

"Yes, well... you are very good at pretending to be a genius." Randolf turns to leave. "I'm going to head home."

"Do you remember when I was a genius?" HR asked, quietly. And this time Randolf did flinch.

Remembering happier times before the war or... or something else?

"I always wonder what might have been, if I'd been safe in the government labs like you." Instead of being a sniper. Instead of being shot in combat and losing everything he'd prided himself for up until then.

HR always thought he could have served their Earth better in a lab than with a gun. But government lackeys don't always make the most rational decisions about where a scientist should be stationed.

And sometimes they misattribute one scientist's work to another. But therein lies a question that, even now after all these years, HR doesn't want to know the answer to. So when Randolf doesn't answer, HR lets him walk out.

"I've got one shot at this," HR muttered softly to himself. "Better hope I'm not wrong with this play."

"Hello, hello, hello... Hello out there in the multiverse, thank you for sending out that cryptogram and the embedded holographic recruitment video within the secondary measures that were, themselves, hidden within the primary data string. Randolf almost didn't catch it and it's probably the first time we've actually collaborated on anything in ages. So even if you pass on me for some other Wells, thank you for that.

"You're asking for a genius Harrison Wells to fill a vacated spot on your team. The problem is, the vacancy doesn't actually exist. I've watched that little video of yours, probably more than I should have. But I know myself rather well and I'd like to think that gives me some insight into the Wells you already have. You're his family now. And if you really need the help of another scientist... he will come running every time you call. Without hesitation and without regard to whatever it is he'll have to drop to be there.

"None of you need a mentor anymore. You're all geniuses in your own right, equals to any Harrison Wells no matter how brilliant my doppelgangers might be.

"And maybe I'm off the mark entirely. But I'm willing to take that risk. Because I'm not auditioning for the post you've advertised for, but the one you haven't. STAR Labs sounds like, in its current state, it's getting by on the revenue from patent licensing, old inventions, and stocks. That's not going to last forever. Additionally, a building of that size, which is supposed to be empty, having as much activity as a super hero squad attracts is going to start getting noticed. But running some kind of business - be it restarting the labs or creating a museum dedicated to understanding the meta-hominids who protect the city as well as the ones who threaten it... that could offer your team both a much needed cover for your activities as well as bringing in a fresh revenue stream.

"And for a project like that, I'm your Wells."

HR took a breath and then gave a brief overview of some of his favorite business ventures outside of STAR Labs. He'd been on the boards of a few different charities over the last few years and helped several former STAR Labs employees get their own businesses off the ground. He still had plenty of friends out there, quietly offering him help despite the load clamoring for the total destruction of his reputation. If this option fell through, HR knew he'd land on his feet eventually anyway.

But he wanted very, very much to get as far away from Earth 19 as possible.

"If you're interest in more details, I've enclosed a copy my curriculum vitae. Your team sounds like a group of kind and fun people and I would be honored to be chosen to work with you. I truly hope you'll decide that I'm the right fit for the team, so please tell me what you think. Until our next communion."

HR reached for the off switch and the paused, shaking his head and smiling in amusement at his own near faux-pax. "Oh, where are my manners? Thank you for your consideration." This time he switched off the recorder and took a moment to attach his CV to the file.

It took him six takes to get his speech right without any flubs and he was ready to send it out into the unknown. This was about as close to perfect as his audition tape was going to get, after all.

Pulling out the string of numbers Randolf had given him, HR clicked send and then used the keypad to input the authorization code and pressed enter.

And there went his hopes and dreams, streaming out into the void between universes. Now all he could do was wait.