A/N: Read this, what happens here is my idea, and is NOT canon. But it does take place after Things Change.\

Beastboy, S05E13: Things Change

There was a lot Beastboy contained inside his mind; hidden away from his teammates to ever see and ask him about. There were multiple times that he thought that his problems were really not that drastic compared to them. Heck, he even thought that their matters were worse than his, making him seal his mouth and carry his burdens like a man.

But alas, he was nothing but a man, (yet). All he could do as a teenager was bottle it up and act like everything was fine, pushing through it and coping with it by cracking up some lame jokes he saw from the comic strips he collected. Their sarcastic remarks were much better than dealing with the silent voices in his head, always present to remind him how he was not enough.

As if that alone was not enough, his failure at the Doom Patrol always lurked on the corner of his mind, always striking when he was at his weakest point, then it goes into a roll until he's bawling at his top bed because he was blaming himself for not being able to save his drowning parents.

He thought that he may have bad luck on his side, unfortunate enough to be targeted multiple times of misery. Yet, he remained tight-lipped regarding his problems, always afraid to seek out help. He was so tired carrying these burdens, yet they continue to pile up.

He thought that finally these burdens may be rid of his youthful shoulders when he heard of Terra's news; the girl was alive and free from her statue! He felt that finally, fortune may be on his side, his heart raced, and his fingers fidgeted on his communicator, and he ignored Robin's demanding tone of his presence.

The elemental they were chasing for hours could be handled by his team, they could do it without him, he had more pressing matters to attend to. He needed to confirm with his own eyes that it was indeed Terra, her statue was gone, and it may either have been that Raven's spells finally worked, or Cyborg's technology took longer than it should.

(The day after he brought Terra to the tower)

He avoided the curious glances of the students as he slouched on the rusted rows of lockers, beside him was the door that separated him from his lost friend. The clock ticked by yet he paid it no mind, a security guard already offered him a chair, yet he cannot bring himself to sit still.

Two hours had passed and he finally made use of the chair as he snored on it, his head dangerously swaying when the bells finally rang. He stood up suddenly as the door banged, swarms of students eager to get out of the lecture room. He immediately caught the sight of blond hair, her almond-shaped face standing out.

"Terra."

"I told you, you have the wrong girl."

Terra didn't have the slightest shred of recognition in her sapphire eyes, her posture nothing but suspicion and distrust. These were clear signs that he was not wanted, he knew enough about non-verbal cues. It was blaringly clear.

"The audacity you have to visit her after throwing mud in her face!"

"Yeah! We should really get a restraining order on you!"

With a threat in place, he could do nothing but look in longing as they went on their way, Terra was not even glancing back. The hustle of the class didn't even budge him from his spot, he was too busy looking somewhere far away.

"Beastboy."

He slowly tilts his head to meet Raven's hooded face. She was standing a meter away, her cloak still stained from the elemental chase that occurred yesterday.

"Hey, fancy seein' ya here, Rae. I think a shower and a change of clothes would suit you, heh." Yet his eyes showed no mirth, his smile nothing but a mere mask to his heart ready to tear apart any moment; but no, not now, not in front of anyone close to his heart.

"Let's go."

"Huh? Where?"

Raven seemingly shrugged, turned and headed outside the school. Confused, all he could do was follow, it was better than remaining here. He stopped before the steps of stairs, the door slowly closing. He took one last glance, willing himself to tear his gaze and follow the empath.

She took flight and he wasted no time morphing, flapping his wings as he kept up with the empath's pace. They were going away from the busy city, he looked down on the city he has been protecting for years, how it can still stand from their protection. Why then, wasn't he able to protect Terra? If he was a hero, even longer than his friends, why couldn't he do it?

If only he knew the answer to his question, maybe this wouldn't happen in the first place. Noticing this dangerous trail of thinking, he focused on flying, finally recognizing the place they were heading.

The cave that contained Terra before.

They silently landed, no conveyed words as they entered the enormous mouth, swallowing them in the darkness soon after. He grabbed his flashlight as they ventured deeper, the air getting colder the further they went, their footsteps echoing.

They stopped at the spot where Terra's spot should have been, where she was still as a statue. Crumbled rocks littered the area, indicating that it was chipped off from her, wilted flowers also joined the debris.

"It might have been my doing."

"Huh?" Beastboy turned to her, waiting for a clearer explanation, yet he could barely see her face.

"When I ended the world," Her voice hitched slightly, his heightened senses not failing him, and it had him listening more attentively. "When I turned most of humanity to stone… and when I brought them all back.."

"You also might have turned her back." Beastboy finished, finally connecting what she was wishing to convey.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? No! Why are you apologizing for? I'm happy that she's back!"

"I'm sorry, for erasing their memories. I was selfish."

"What… what?"

"I… didn't want them to remember the end of the world, and when I had the power, when I banished Trigon off this realm; temporarily, I felt strong. I didn't tell you guys, but I erased their memories. I didn't want them to remember what I brought, what I gave up."

She turned to face him, the only cue that led him to believe that was the shuffle of her clothed boots. He can't bring himself to point the flashlight at her face, it lay in his hands, pointed at Terra's spot.

Should he be angry at her? For toying with their minds? Wasn't she the one practising pacifism? That's what he should be feeling, right?

"I'm sorry, for causing you despair."

Yet why couldn't he bring himself to shout at her? Why does he find himself looking at someone as lost as he? After a long deafening silence, he speaks.

"I…" Beastboy drawls, his thoughts aren't really helping now, he fidgets in his spot, the light dancing along as he moves his hand. What did he want to say? To blame her? No, no not really. However, his hesitation has already given its message.

"I see." Raven turned away, her steps having an urgent pace. Beastboy can only hear her leave the desolate place. Leaving him alone where he wanted to be the least. Another one, he drove another one away because of his actions.

Again? He fails again? The metal shivers under his enormous strength before finally caving in, the light flickers until it dies out. He hears the parts falling yet it was not enough to drown in those voices.

He wails, kicking the ground, the remains of the flashlight, the rocks, everything he saw, he unleashed his pent up anger upon. He lets the voices drown him, and he feels it suffocates him.

All of the memories he caged up: his failure at attempting to save his parents, letting the Brotherhood of Evil always escape during his time at Doom Patrol, his weakness at containing the Beast. Everything came at once, and he kneels at the weight, his hands trying to clear the warm tears that pours out of his eyes. He sobs, because of what he has lost, and what he was not able to keep. He wished that someone might have provided him with some answers.

Yet all the company he had was this cave that housed the empty remnants shell of whom he used to love.

Raven lands silently on the school, the bell rings, indicating that classes have ended. She should not have left Beastboy, she knew that enough. However, there was still a role she must fulfill.

Curious glances were directed at her, and students parted to give her way as she neared where the blond would be. It did not take her long to find Terra, in the company of her classmates.

"You must be popular with the Titans, Terra." She heard Terra's classmate speak, as the girl pointed at her. Terra followed her direction and frowned when meeting her gaze.

"For the last time, you have the wrong girl."

"I am not here for that; I merely wish to talk."

"About what?" Terra hissed, she squints her eyes in irritation and she stomps her feet to emphasize. "About my memories? Throw another sludge of dirt at my face to see if I can control it?"

"Slade helped you, didn't he?" Raven muttered, noticed the way the blonde's shoulder tensed, her spike of emotions that she felt; everything indicating that she may be right. Yet her ex-adversary remained adamant.

"Slade? Who's Slade? Girl, you're bothering her the same way that green dude bothered her!" Her classmates circled Terra, clearly protective. Raven sighed, this was getting nowhere.

"Can I speak to you alone? Take my offer, and I will make sure no one will bother you anymore, not even Beastboy."

Raven waited patiently as the girl weighed her decisions, with her friends helping her to decide by declining; however, Terra surprised all of them by agreeing.

"Promise me?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go."

They walked side by side as they departed the school premises, their leisure pace as they travelled to the nearby park. Terra tensed at times yet she forced herself to stay calm, all of these being picked up by Raven's empathy.

"You remember, yet why do you avoid Beastboy."

Angered, she clutches the empath's cloak in the edge, nearing their faces together, yet Raven remains unfazed. The girl took a breath before speaking, tone clearly shaking in restrained frustration.

"I told you! I ain't the one you knew!"

"You cannot lie to me. I sense it, I see you longing."

"What do I long for then, Raven?"

"A longing for normalcy. A respite from finally escaping from your burdens. You were so used to running away that you didn't know how to face your challenges anymore, Terra."

Terra loosened her fist-balled clutch at Raven's indigo cloak, The empath showed no sign of offense when her cloak was finally free of the geomancer's abuse. She took a step back, giving Terra the distance she needed. Terra glanced at her school shoes, dirtied by the earth.

"I… don't want to go back." She silently muttered; afterward dropping to a crouch, hugging her knees. Raven knew enough the girl was suffering once again from her weakness: always running, never stopping.

"Yet you long to, what is stopping you, Terra? The fear that Beastboy would hate you? That we would never accept you back… or-" Raven glanced away, in the vague direction where she left Beastboy. These two were agonizing, for what reasons, may connect them together. It was time to end such suffering.

"Or, the fact that once you stop running, you'd have to face all the things you've run by."

A sniff canted her head back to the silently weeping girl. Debris of rocks were vibrating around the girl, indirectly being in her control due to her emotions. Raven knew it was not her moment to speak, choosing to linger by the girl's side.

"Why do you always know what to say? Or even my mind, girl you still scare me 'til now." A weak attempt of humor, and a little forced chuckle, Terra was back standing again. The empath gave her a little moment of recovery.

"What scares me, Raven, is when I finally face them. How would I deal with it when I grew up abandoning everything that threatened me? Not even staying long enough to see if it's even good or bad for me."

"Small steps, Terra. Let it scare you. Fear is your source of strength whether you would like to continue stepping forward."

"What are you, a sage?" Terra offered Raven a smile, widening when the empath mirrored her. The two shared a comfortable silence together for a moment in the park, ignoring the nearby occupants.

"I… you do know that this conversation would not immediately make myself show to BB's face, right?"

"I know. It's your decision, Terra."

Terra nodded, and Raven prepared to leave. Her role was fulfilled, it is not up to her what Terra would pave her life with, the ball is in her hands. Before she must leave though, she must give something valuable.

Grabbing something in the multi-dimensional pocket space that she kept within her belt, she gave back Terra's comb. Terra glanced at it, and took it with gentle hands.

"For luck."

When Raven prepared to leave, to finally rest and change, Terra stopped her.

"One last, how did you know I remembered?"

"I had a vague feeling you were somehow aware all the time."

Because I knew, those whose memories I erased only applied to who became stone in the end of the world; it didn't apply to you, Terra.

That was all Terra needed to know, and she left, never stopping to see or hear that Terra was speaking.

"Thank you."

After being in that cave for so long enough to feel it suffocating him, Beastboy left. He didn't know where to go, he knew he was unwanted in the school so he passed it by in his avian form, choosing to go back to the Tower.

Rest is what he needs right now, and maybe sleep will do him good. It surprised him to see that Raven is also arriving just at the same time. It made him hesitate, wings flapping to keep him airborne in the exact spot. Should he apologize? But for what?

She did apologize though, to what she did. But maybe he understood it in a way. The girl suffered worse than he, who was he to make judgements over her actions? Maybe she was the one deserving of an apology. With a decision set, he swiftly glided to her.

He made sure to morph a distance away, making sure not to surprise her.

"Hey." He started, drawled. Soon he spoke again, breaking off the starting sentence the empath was about to say. "Maybe you're the one who deserves an apology, Raven. It'd be rude of me to be angry at ya, you suffered more than me, faced worse than me, and yet here I was silently being angry at you in my mind for making Terra forget."

"Do not invalidate your feelings, Beastboy. You suffered too, don't compare our sufferings, it would do you no good. Be angry at me, blame me, you have the same right as me."

"But…"

"I accept that you are angry, and I'm sorry for that. I'll try to make myself accountable by telling it to others. You suffered Beastboy, and that's the thing I cannot accept. Do not subside yours just because you thought I was suffering more."

Beastboy stuttered, unsure of what to say next. He didn't know what triggered it, but he soon found himself struggling to breathe properly again, casting his eyes downwards, he tried not to cry in front of Raven. Before he was able to restrain it, a sob tore out from his throat and tears were already dropping no matter how he tried to wipe it away.

"You've been containing it for so long, Beastboy."

He had a vague sense that Raven approached him, awkwardly patting him in the shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. Yearning for comfort, he hugged her, glad that soon after, she let him do so. The two remained on the rooftop for a while, unbothered by the cold winds that were passing by.

Beastboy relished the moment, still emotional at the moment as he finally withdrew. Things may not suddenly change, but he knew that taking one step at a time, these obstacles that he had carried in his shoulder would grow lighter.

"You're an awkward hugger, Rae." He chuckled, wanting to bring a slice of humor in the comfortable silence they've shared under the sky.

"Oh, shut up."

There was no need to thank her verbally, Beastboy thought, as he followed with his eyes Raven departed from the rooftop. He didn't know how, but he knew that the girl knew that he thanked her. The empath really didn't want to receive gratitude or compliment personally. Laughing, Beastboy knows that the girl really did not know how to react or handle it rather than dislike receiving it.

And maybe one day, this shape-shifter would get a visit from someone he loved.

AN: Beastboy carried a lot, from what I knew in the comics. I tried my best to write indirectly their characters in paragraphs, delicately weaving it to complicate them. But there may be times that I failed, so sorry for that haha.

You might be wondering, why is Terra here, not in a separate chapter? I kinda wanted to only focus on the founding Titans (in terms of Teen Titans 2003 Animated Series). I've always liked a deep story, and you may see that it might reflect here from time to time. I've always desired to see a genuine interaction of Raven to the other members, hence why this story started.

You get to see other's thoughts directly; meanwhile, you see hers indirectly.

One last, and that's Starfire :)

Hope you enjoyed it!