AN: I think that reunion with Snowball went pretty well!

Ch 10: White Dwarves

Terran Date 2015.4.26

I'm stuck in a backwater lab with an idiot who believes you can transform a rock into gold by spray painting it. Nothing else worth reporting.

o-o-o-o-o

Pinky winced as Brain slammed his hand against the computer mouse, saving the oddly brief recording to the computer. He didn't bother with his usual sign-off either. Just buried his face between his hands and growled to himself.

Brain had been in a foul mood ever since the tea party, snapping whenever Pinky tried to ask a question and making messes without bothering to clean up after himself. He wasn't the only one affected by Snowball suddenly leaving. Madame Daisy was still pretty miffed about Snowball's lack of etiquette when he didn't say goodbye to the other guests or say thank you to the host. And Brain hadn't done those either.

Maybe Pinky should've warned them about Madame Daisy being a stickler for tea party etiquette.

But more importantly, the deadline for RSVPing was tomorrow at 8 pm and they still hadn't called Lamont Manor. More than once, Pinky brought it up in conversation and left post-it notes as reminders, but Brain always shut the topic down and shredded the notes into confetti.

It stung when he did that, but Pinky shook it off and saved the itty-bitty scraps. One never knew when they'd need good confetti.

Pinky's ears twitched towards the cage at the sound of Brain's groan. Brain had already drained a full water bottle and was steadily working his way through a second. While Pinky was happy his alien friend had gotten used to water, mostly so they could play Marco Polo and waterski with popsicle sticks, maybe there was such a thing as too much water.

"Brain?" Pinky called, nearly slipping on a puddle. He frowned. There were several puddles and no sign of Brain at least trying to keep this side of the cage neat. "Er, don't you think that's enough? Awfully hard to sleep if you have to keep getting up for the bathroom."

"Just leave me alone," Brain muttered. He sipped from the tube again without taking his glare off Pinky. Water dribbled down his chin.

No, he was absolutely not leaving Brain alone! Pinky stomped his foot, startling Brain when he tried to sneak another drink.

"That's it!" Pinky shouted. He tugged his ears and released them with a sharp snap. "I'm gonna give you tough love whether you like it or not, mistah!"

Before Brain could react, Pinky snatched him away from the water bottle and tucked him under one arm like he was cradling a football. Brain kicked and squirmed in his grip, trying to smack him with his tail, but Pinky had a firm hold. With his free hand, he pulled a fedora off the coat rack as he marched out of the cage and over to the stereo.

It was a little worn from age, but it still worked alright.

He dropped Brain, who let out a little oomph when his stomach hit the counter. Smacking the play button with his foot, Pinky kept one hand on his fedora as he counted the beats until the main melody began.

"Just say narf! Just say narf!

Don't you know to be glad? Just say narf!

Every day is a joy and so-"

The music shut off.

Surprised by the lack of background music, Pinky checked behind him, arms still thrown above his head with the fedora hanging from one hand.

Brain stood in front of the stereo, his hand over the stop button. "Just what in Orion's belt are you trying to accomplish with this display?" he snapped, crossing his arms.

"You've been a grumpasaurus rex ever since the tea party! So I'm cheering you up with one of my favorite songs!" Pinky protested.

"You can't cheer me up by manhandling me and saying nonsense!" Brain yelled.

"I said narf, not nonsense!"

"They're synonymous!"

"No, they're not! They agreed they could date other people and they still have a trusting relationship! And you wanna know what else? They actually clean up after themselves too!"

"GAH!"

"TROZ!"

Their noses were just a few inches apart, chests huffing and puffing like they were about to blow the Three Little Pigs' houses down. Brain broke away from the staredown first, clasping his hands behind his back as he sulked.

Pinky counted one Mississippi, five Mississippis, and seventeen Mississippi's, his hand against his racing heart as he breathed in and out to calm down. And why did they only count Mississippi? Why not Alabama, Georgia, or Papua New Guinea?

Brain was a closed book at the best of times, it seemed. One of those heavy textbooks with lots of big words, not a happy, colorful picture book like Pat the Bunny.

But he wasn't a good actor, though he pretended to be above happiness, fear, and sorrow.

"You know you can talk to me, right? About your feelings or world domination or secret crushes. Anything you want," Pinky said, wringing his tail in his hands. It looked like a very sad, wiggling worm under his fingers. The smooth surface under his fingers helped a little, but it didn't replace a full snout hug from Pharfignewton. "I...I was just trying to help."

"World domination is the only topic worth discussing out of everything you said. Emotions are irrelevant," Brain said. There was still a bite in his tone, but not much. He rubbed his arm, feet shuffling uncomfortably. "So you were truthful about wanting to...assist during my period of inactivity?"

Pinky tilted his head. "Why would I lie about wanting to help? That would be mean, Brain."

"Helping is just another way of ensuring someone owes a favor. Or it would be mutually beneficial to all parties involved," Brain replied. His sharp gaze snapped back to Pinky. "Our deal is just one example out of many."

"What about helping you cause I wanted you to feel better?"

Didn't that count? He didn't know why Brain was making it all so complicated.

"As I stated before, your song was nonsense and your method was invasive." Brain shot a disdainful glare at the stereo. "But I can't entirely fault you for your intentions, however misguided, though I suggest having a concrete reward in mind next time."

Pinky grinned and let go of his tail. "Oh, that's easy! Lemme grab a chunk of concrete off the street!"

Brain sighed, stomping over to a top drawer, perching on the edge of the counter as he slid it open. "That won't be necessary, Pinky."

"Looking for something, Brain?" Pinky asked.

"I can find it on my own!" Brain tried to wave him off, but overbalanced and fell into the open drawer, landing on his stomach with a muffled oomph. He spat a scrap of paper out of his mouth, kicking a red pen aside as he rolled onto his back.

Pinky's fingers drummed on the counter as he peered down at Brain. A light cherry color coated his sagging cheeks.

"I'd rather direct my focus somewhere else for the time being." Brain wasn't making eye contact with Pinky. Which was a shame, because his eyes were the prettiest shade of pink. "I don't require anything else after you point me to the cleaning supplies."

Pinky blinked at him in surprise, but they were getting somewhere now! He could do a cartwheel, kiss a cockatoo, and dance the Macarena! Maybe not in that order, or all at once, but there's a first time for everything!

A smile spread across Pinky's face, and he couldn't help but laugh when Brain's head began to resemble a lumpy tomato.

o-o-o-o-o

Several hours later, Pinky yawned as the first rays of sunlight gently crept across the bed. The distant sounds of cars caught in traffic on the nearby bridge combined with the gentle thrum of lab technology formed the usual background noises, greeting him with a new day. Freeing his legs and tail from the blanket, he dipped into a luxurious, catlike stretch, arching his back and raising his rear end and tail as high as they would go.

"Wakey-wakey, Brain! Narf!" Pinky exclaimed as he shook Brain's shoulder.

Brain mumbled to himself and buried his head into his pillow, curling into a very tight cocoon to block out the light. If Brain wanted to hatch into a pretty butterfly, he needed all the rest he could get, so Pinky left him alone.

But it was worth a shot, even if Brain wasn't a morning mouse.

Pinky ate a plateful of food pellets for a quick breakfast, then washed it down with water. The area around the water bottle was puddle-free and mostly clean, save for a stubborn stain on a cage bar by the floor. But that spot gave Pinky plenty of trouble too, so he didn't hold it against Brain.

He coaxed a drop of water out of the tubing and splashed it on his face, then squeezed through the cage bars, hands behind his back as he strolled over to the cap Snowball had given him.

He'd spent most of his time decorating it with whatever he could find for the past few days. Glittery, colorful letters that spelled Pharfignewton were glued across the brim, give or take a few letters. Her name was so long that it didn't fit and the 'ewton' was on a separate row beneath the rest. Feathers, ribbons, and encouraging messages on sticky notes covered the blue fabric.

It was coming along nicely. Pinky backed up a few steps, sticking out his tongue and placing his fingers together like he was taking a picture.

"Just needs a little something," Pinky murmured, tapping his chin to get the idea muscle in his head working. It usually worked best after he ate, so coming up with something should be a cinch!

Then he snapped his fingers together, a little lightbulb flickering overhead with a satisfying click. Wait, no, no. That was just the light turning on cause a sleepy scientist trudged in, dragging his feet to the kitchen. He didn't see Pinky waving good morning to him.

Hopefully the man liked decaf, because they were all out of regular coffee.

Pinky folded red tissue paper into a rose, then repeated the step with purple tissue paper. "Thank you, DIY craft videos on Youtube!" he hummed.

He needed more roses to go all the way around. Kentucky Derby hats were always decked out with pretty roses. Oh, he could arrange the roses into a pretty red-purple-red-purple pattern!

And toss some glitter onto the roses too! Can't go wrong with glitter!

He dumped a generous amount of pink glitter on his rose and glued it to the hat.

More scientists trickled in, shuffling off to the kitchen in search of coffee and once again ignoring Pinky and his pretty hat. They didn't seem too keen on coming today. He couldn't imagine why. Monday was such a lovely day and it never got the appreciation it deserved.

Since they had a bad habit of moving items around so Pinky could never find them, he hid his unfinished hat in the back of a large drawer. Nobody ever looked there anyway.

He hauled himself out of the drawer. As he climbed back to the counter, he paused to admire the calendar picture of Mickey Mouse giving flowers to Minnie. Beneath it, the box for April 27 was circled in glittery blue.

Right, wasn't there something they were supposed to do today?

RSVP BY 8 PM! NARF!

Right, they still had stuff to do if they were gonna have the best weekend ever! They still had to find costumes for the masquerade ball! Especially the masks! Masks were the most important part!

And they had to call soon, or they wouldn't be able to go.

"Brain!" Pinky shouted as he ran inside the cage, snatching up the invitation card from the corner. Brain was out of bed and trying to eat a food pellet, though his expression was pinched from the dryness of his breakfast. "Oh, that brand is pretty dry. That's why I saute it in three-and-one oil first. Anyway, you're already up?"

Brain scowled and swallowed his morsel with difficulty. "How can I possibly sleep with all this racket?"

A cupboard slammed down the hall, followed by loud profanity that would've made Pinky's grandmother clutch her pearls and faint.

Apparently, nobody wanted decaf.

Pinky held the invitation close to a scowling Brain. "See? We've gotta call now or they won't let us in! Then we won't be able to swim in the chocolate fountain or admire the ice sculptures!"

Brain shoved the card away from his face. "Heaven forbid we miss those banal activities," he replied, pressing two hands to his cheeks.

"Exactly!" Pinky's tail twitched in anticipation. "And we still need fancy outfits and masks!"

Brain took another food pellet, grimaced, and tossed it back into the bowl. Then he sighed and rubbed his temples. "This is a rather asinine plan, Snowball," he muttered.
"Come again?" Pinky asked. He could've sworn Brain said Snowball's name.

Which was weird, because Snowball wasn't even here. Unless Brain named the food bowl Snowball. That made more sense.

"Never mind, Pinky," Brain sighed. "Forgive me for my reservations."

"But we haven't made those reservations yet," Pinky said. Brain didn't reply, too focused on valiantly keeping his breakfast down. Then Brain drank from the water bottle, careful not to splash too much. Once he finished, he headed to the cage door, and Pinky dutifully followed. He hopped from toe to toe as Brain unlocked the door with a bent paper clip. "Can I place the call, Brain?"

"This is a delicate operation, Pinky," Brain replied. "We must use our given aliases so that we won't be found out prematurely. I can't risk you blabbing our true identities, so I'll speak to our less than gracious host myself. Now, hand over the card."

It was true.

He wasn't a good liar at all.

Pinky held out the card, but before Brain could take it, a balding man with a bad combover and rumpled labcoat tried to yank him out of the cage by his crooked tail. The scientist yelped in pain as the orb sparked in his hand, leaving red marks on his skin. Startled, Freed from his grip, Brain leapt forward and tripped over himself. Pinky dropped the card and caught Brain by the shoulders before he could slam nose-first into the metal floor.

The red orbs on Brain's antennae glowed for several seconds before fading away. Then Brain regained his footing and gave Pinky a brief nod as thanks, quickly pulling away to recollect himself.

The contact ended all too soon.

The man flicked his hand to get rid of the shock, muttering to himself as he pulled on a pair of rubber gloves.

"What's going on?" Brain snapped. "We have important business to conduct!"

"Don't worry, Brain. It's just Maze Monday!" Pinky said, fixing his messy tuft as best he could without a mirror. He had to look his best for maze running! "We'll call afterward!"

The scientist reached in again. Though Brain defiantly stood in the corner away from him, it was no use and he was pulled out of the cage. He dangled in the scientist's gloved hand by the tail, grumpy at his current position.

Pinky was next. He swung from the scientist's other hand as he was lifted into the air, pumping his legs back and forth like he was on an upside down swing. Giggling, he reached out and tried to touch Brain's ears, though he was several inches short.

With one mouse dangling from each hand, the scientist walked out of the room and carried them down the hallway. They passed the college interns who were more interested in selfies than work, the security guard who was always shouting about evil rodents and their master plan to hoard the world's entire cheese supply for themselves, and a bored female scientist who looked like she'd rather be anywhere else but here.

The scientist entered a room on his left. Along the wall, several guinea pigs rested in their cages. Pinky waved to them, but since he didn't have any food, the guinea pigs weren't interested.

They were dropped at the start of a large cardboard maze. The scientist adjusted the cameras mounted above the maze, then left the room.

Just him and Brain now.

"Your scientists display a disturbing lack of regard for our tails," Brain grumbled, rubbing the soreness out of one zigzagged bend. "Not that Selenians were any better."

"But if they hold the tip just right, you can swing around like a little monkey!" Pinky said. "I mean, my rear gets a bit sore too, and sometimes you might crash into a wall, but it's still loads of fun! Haven't you ever tried it, Brain?"

"While that activity is suitable for inane creatures, it doesn't befit a future world emperor to behave in such an embarrassing manner." Brain dusted off his jumpsuit, though it was recently washed and wasn't particularly dirty. "But I digress. We must focus on surviving this perilous maze so that we may RSVP to the event in time."

Perilous?

But he didn't see any pearls anywhere. It was just cardboard and metal as far as the eye could see. Pearls would've brightened this drab maze a lot.

There were four directions to pick from. Pinky scratched his head. Which one?

The left path looked fun, but the one behind and in front were dimly lit. Which left the right path. And since it was right, that meant it was the right way!

"Let's go! The right path is always right! Zort!" Pinky exclaimed. He walked to the right path, but Brain hauled him back by the elbow.

"Don't assume the direction and the certainty of success are one and the same, Pinky," Brain said firmly. "We have to take precautions."

Pinky didn't think they had to be careful though. There wasn't anyone else here. Unless the guinea pigs counted, but they weren't in the maze.

His usual strategy was to run around silly-willy until he found the snack at the end. But in all his years, he'd never actually found the snack. Usually he just ran into walls and daydreamed about cheese until a nice scientist got him out.

And cheese kept the spookiness away.

"There's nobody here but us," Pinky said.

"There's nobody visible in this maze but us," Brain corrected. "If we're not careful, we could fall victim to traps. Enough arguing, Pinky. We're taking the left fork."

There weren't any forks to take, nor anything to eat using a fork, but at least Brain was nice enough to drag Pinky down his second choice instead of the dimly lit paths.

Brain stuck close to the walls, grabbing Pinky's wrist to ensure he did the same. As they came upon a T-section where they could either turn left or right, Brain carefully held his antennae back with his free hand and poked his head around the corner. Pinky tried to lean over Brain to see what was so interesting, but a sharp nudge kept him back.

"Whatcha looking for?" Pinky asked. "Besides cardboard."

"Bright, confined areas are the safest," Brain said. "It's not a complete guarantee, but you can at least watch for disturbances on the floor or wall. We'll head right. I can't see the end of the left corridor from here."

He let go of Pinky's wrist, but gave him stern instructions to stay along the wall. It was just like giving the wall a really long hug, and Pinky licked the wall to thank it for hugging back.

Huh. So cardboard tastes like cardboard then. Not bad, but it could definitely use some parsley.

Halfway down the corridor, Brain's breath suddenly hitched. He stared at the floor in front of them, where one edge of the cardboard was a little higher than the other. The line spanned the entire length between the two walls.

"Don't get too close," Brain said, pushing Pinky back before he could step on it. "Remember, strange patterns in the structure might reveal the location of a trap."

It looked like a normal ledge though. Completely harmless.

But if the trap only worked when they stepped on it...then the trick was to not step on it!

Brain let go of Pinky's wrist as he pondered their next course of action. Taking his chances, Pinky backed up several paces, keeping his eye on the line he couldn't touch.

Then he sprinted forward, ignoring Brain's shout for him to stop.

Pinky leapt as high as he could, easily clearing the line. Though he couldn't quite stick the landing and toppled forward as soon as he touched the ground.

Still had to work on his weak ankles.

Hopping to his feet, Pinky turned to a flabbergasted Brain. Ha! He loved that word. Flabbergasted! Too bad it was a bit long for a catchphrase.

Instead of being impressed, Brain glared at him.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous your stunt was?" Brain shouted. "You could've been severely incapacitated!"

Pinky stretched his legs to test his ankles, but they felt alright. No harm done.

"Narf! But my ankles are fine! See?" Pinky shook his ankles so Brain could see they weren't hurt.

"And if there was a motion sensor?" Brain snapped. "Did you consider the possibility of spikes, projectiles, or electrocution?"

"Um…"

The scientists wouldn't be mean enough to put those in a maze. Of course, sometimes they'd forget to take him out when he couldn't find the exit, and he'd lay in the maze alone and listen to the lab's scary nighttime noises, but he'd never seen spikes during these tests before.

"Thought so," Brain said. There was something odd about the way his hand twitched towards his tail.

Like he had personal experience.

"Have you ever been caught in a trap before?" Pinky asked before he could stop himself.

Too much?

Brain folded his arms and lifted his chin, pink eyes narrowing at Pinky. Probably not then. Brain was too smart for that.

And definitely clever enough to find his way to the exit and not get stuck overnight.

Then Brain turned around so Pinky could see all the zigzags in his tail.

"Electrocution trap," Brain said, his ears lowering. "An overload of electricity can be fatal for my species, though we're naturally resistant to smaller shocks. I was...less experienced back then."

There was more. Brain wasn't telling him how much it hurt.

But Brain tensed, a silent warning not to push any further.

"They didn't leave you in the maze overnight, did they?" Pinky asked. Brain went dangerously still.

Oh, there he went running his mouth again! Why couldn't his mouth be good and stay zipped?

"Sorry, Brain. You don't have to answer. It's fine, really!" Pinky hastily corrected himself. "But if they did-"

"No, they didn't," Brain said, surprising Pinky with how much he was revealing. "They kept a strict count of all their test subjects, and preserving them was far more preferable to losing a valuable limited resource. Small mercies, I suppose."

"Oh. Well...that's good." Pinky rubbed the back of his neck. He was glad Brain never had to deal with that. He wouldn't wish it on anybody, not even that stubborn stain he could never rub out from the cage bars. "Poit."

Brain turned back to Pinky and looked at the line between them. Then he hopped over it, bracing himself for a shock. When no electricity appeared, he seemed surprised, though he immediately tried to school his expression into a neutral one. He walked past Pinky and refused an invitation to hug it out.

They had to turn left at the next intersection since the right led to a dead end. Then they reached an open room with a cardboard path and a metal path. Brain chose the metal path, but stopped where the rough paper met cool metal. Pinky stopped behind him.

"Pinky?" Brain said. He didn't turn around. "Were you left in a maze overnight?"

"Sometimes," Pinky admitted. Was he worrying Brain? He didn't want Brain to worry! "But it's not so bad when you imagine all the cheese you'll eat at the end, even if you never reach it. But cheese keeps the ghosts away, you know. They don't like the smell."

If he imagined cheese, he wouldn't imagine long, crooked witch fingers trying to pluck him out. Or the loud air conditioning system which clicked on and off every few minutes, the ghostly breeze echoing down the hallway. Or how he called for his parents and Sis to come share a yummy feast with him, though they never came.

"That's horribly negligent on the humans' end."

And that was all the talk Brain allowed on the matter.

o-o-o-o-o

The maze was a lot longer than they thought. Just when Pinky believed they'd reached the cheese, there was always some new twist that set them back.

What time was it? Though he couldn't see the clock, it had to be around lunchtime right now. Pinky's stomach growled, sounding a lot like Brain in one of his moods.

He'd give an arm and a leg for a few food pellets. Or some cheese. Even a leaf.

Brain was tiring out too. His footsteps were heavier and slower. But he kept at it.

Right, focus on the goal. Focus on the yummy cheese.

What kind would they get? Moldy? Blue? Provolone? All of those sounded pretty good, but Pinky thought his stomach was calling for pepperjack. Oh wait, no, maybe it was gorgonzola.

His stomach grumbled again. Okay, it was definitely muenster this time.

They came across a path with a thick sheet of metal on top. So dark that they couldn't see a thing in front of them. Brain took a deep breath and stuck a hand in the darkness. They only saw his wrist.

His fingers were completely swallowed by the inky, hungry darkness.

Brain took his hand out.

Oh. Not swallowed then. All his fingers were still there.

"We've exhausted all our options," Brain said, pounding his fist into his hand in determination. But even that gesture couldn't hide how he stuck to the wall like glue. Pinky didn't blame him. It was awfully dark in there. What if they went in and were never found again? "Taking this path is absolutely necessary if we're to make it out of this labyrinth in time."

But they couldn't see the traps. It wasn't safe.

Unless…

"Brain, your orbs!" Pinky exclaimed, gently tapping an antenna. "If you make 'em glow, we won't get lost or fall into a trap!"

Brain didn't look so sure. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Not a terrible suggestion for once, Pinky. Unfortunately, it's not something I have voluntary control over. It's a hormonal response that occurs when I'm...well, happy."

"So we'll just have to make you happy enough for your orbs to glow," Pinky said.

With what? Brain raised an eyebrow, the silent question obvious.

Then Pinky snapped his fingers. He knew what to do! He'd sing Just Say Narf!

Except he was trying to make Brain happy, not himself.

A no-go then.

Cream cheese and blueberry bagels? Out of reach.

Pinky tapped his chin. This was harder than he thought.

Brain sat against the wall, eyes squeezed shut and hands rubbing circles into his large forehead. "Statues, parades, my jewel-encrusted cummerbund…" he murmured.

He was doing one of those smartypants things. Too smart for Pinky to understand.

Brain growled and opened his eyes in irritation. "Cease your staring at once, Pinky. I'm trying to concentrate."

"On what?" Pinky asked.

"World domination of course," Brain said, smacking his ear like he was dumping extra thoughts out of his chubby head. "Accomplishing a goal would naturally bring anyone contentment."

Pinky zipped his lip and threw away the key, then sat against the wall across from Brain and waited.

Yet Brain's orbs didn't glow.

Pinky drummed his fingers against his leg. When he drummed all the songs he knew, he tried to lick his elbow. Except his elbow didn't want to be licked. He leaned in and stuck his tongue out as far as he could, but it was a very stubborn elbow.

After an eternity, Brain finally spoke, his voice full of cautious hope. "Are they glowing now?"

Pinky shook his head, and Brain slumped against the wall in defeat.

The clock ticked on.

"There's gotta be other things you like besides world domination," Pinky said. It made sense to have a lot of likes and favorites, and not just on social media.

"Those 'other things' are frivolous at best and distractions at worst," Brain replied. "Taking over this world would make me happy, so there's no logical reason as to why it's not working."

Maybe it was happy, but they had to think happier. No, they had to think happiest!

Brain said 'this world'. Right, he was a Selenian. Funny how it seemed like he'd been here forever instead of just a few days.

A Selenian. Brain never revealed much about where he came from. Just that he wanted to leave it all behind. And he only spoke about their technology. But there was more than that, right?

"Narf! It's funny, Brain," Pinky said, holding his toes as he rocked back and forth. Brain looked at him, confused. "You've gotten to know a lot about this planet, but I don't know much about yours! There's gotta be something about New Selene that makes you happy!"

"Nothing about that desolate wasteland sparks any joyful feelings," Brain retorted. "Snowball and I are much better off here. Terra's knowledge of space is much less advanced than Selene's, but once we're co-rulers that's a problem easily rectified."

"But there has to be something you did for fun."

Brain looked away. "You're prying. But if you're truly interested…"

"I am!" Pinky exclaimed, nodding eagerly. "Please tell me!"

Brain's ear twitched as he listened for signs of anyone coming. But none appeared. "I'm going to regret this...but fine. However, everything I'm about to tell you does not leave this maze. Promise me."

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-ow!" Pinky jabbed his eye a little too hard.

Brain watched him for a moment longer, so Pinky tried to make himself look like a captivated audience. Finally, he gave in with a sigh.

"Selenians have an oral storytelling tradition called Lor Altal. The loose translation to your language is 'swapping hearts', and given their predisposition to sordid, melodramatic affairs, I'd say it's an accurate name," Brain explained. "On the mother planet, it's normally performed on the last day of the month. But explorers and scientists, including those of New Selene, often turned it into a weekly session as a way to remind them of home."

"Didja hear any Lor Altals on New Selene?" Pinky asked. He laid on his stomach, propped his head on his elbows, and kicked his feet in the air.

"...yes."

Why so hesitant though?

"Snowball and I...we used to sneak out of our cages for the weekly Lor Altal. When we were younger. Before they abandoned New Selene. The ones we'd listened to were...well, they could become very elaborate with song, dance, and costume. New Selene's were more basic, but interesting."

"Ooooooh," Pinky said. This definitely sounded fun fun silly-willy! "You know any good stories, Brain? Can you tell me? Please please please?"

Brain scratched his head. "Well, there's one that I...no, perhaps I shouldn't be thinking about these things. Lor Altals don't matter in the pursuit of world domination."

"I don't mind!" Pinky said. Brain was so silly, insisting that he couldn't like stuff outside his goal. He liked cream cheese and blueberry bagels, didn't he? "I wanna know your favoritest out of the lot!"

"You do?" Brain asked in surprise. He didn't seem to believe Pinky.

"Of course!" Pinky grinned.

Brain's cheeks flushed, but he accepted that they weren't going anywhere. Besides, if Brain really liked these Lor Altal stories, then his orbs would glow and they wouldn't have to be scared of the dark!

"...alright. This Lor Altal tale is called Heikro var Silda. It's one of the most well-known stories, starring Selene's historical figures," Brain said, gaining more confidence with every word. "The characters were embellished from real life, but the background is mostly the same."

There was a spark in Brain's pink eyes now. It intrigued Pinky.

"Three thousand years ago, before Selene's industrial and technological revolutions, the entire planet was embroiled in a long and bitter civil war, spearheaded by two rival households, alike in prestige and influence."

"If they add honey, maybe it wouldn't be so bitter?" Pinky suggested.

"Try not to interrupt, Pinky. Setting the mood is important in these stories," Brain said, breaking out of his narrator voice. And boy did he have a lovely narrator voice!

Pinky rezipped his lip and let Brain continue.

"The eastern hemisphere was the domain of the House of Syar'i, of which the fair maiden Silda belonged. The western half was controlled by the House of Alkair, of which the handsome lad Heikro was selected to rule. Caught between the two powerful households, the Selenians were fearful of the violence that ensued whenever they clashed, for both commanded large networks of armies, assassins, and spies. Now, on one fateful day…"

Soon Brain was completely engrossed in the story, just as Pinky was enthralled to hear Brain give the performance of his life. Well, Brain wasn't the best actor Pinky had ever seen. Sometimes he was a bit flat and sometimes he was a bit hammy, but the passion in his voice made the story absolutely thrilling.

It was the type of passion someone only had when they truly loved something.

Some breaks were necessary for Brain to rest his voice for a few minutes, others so Pinky could get a translation for the Selenian language when Brain accidentally used a different tongue after getting caught up in the story.

Brain's voice grew softer as he laid out Heikro's plan to sneak into a banquet thrown by the House of Syar'i to scope out their plans for an invasion of an Akair-controlled port city. And poor Silda, having to marry someone she didn't love but doing it for the sake of her parents! That poor girl oughta be happy!

Pinky clasped his hands together at the moment Heikro laid eyes on Silda's beauty and was instantly smitten, forgetting that he needed to report his findings to his council. And Silda was taken in by Heikro's broad shoulders and sturdy build. It was love at first sight! How romantic!

"Then Silda bid her parents and their guests good night, and retired to her chambers. But Heikro, who longed to see more of the maiden's ethereal charm, could not bear to stay away for long. Under the cover of darkness, he crept around her residence, where he found a restless Silda on her balcony. She couldn't slumber peacefully, for her maidservant revealed the man she kissed was none other than an esteemed member of the House of Akair."

Pinky pounded his fist against his knee. "She needs to elope with him, that's what! Narf!"

"'Nova suprhi li ihmin var altal', he called to her."

"Oh, there's that altal word again. He's saying something about hearts, I think. That's so sweet!" Pinky exclaimed. Realizing his mistake, he covered his mouth. "Sorry, Brain! Continue!"

But instead of continuing, Brain leaned against the wall. Oh. He must've gotten tired.

"I'll let it pass this time, Pinky," Brain said as he rubbed his throat. "I might've overdone it anyway. Next time, I'll pick a better stopping point."

His voice sounded a little raspy. Though Pinky really wanted to know what happened next, keeping Brain's voice in working order so they could make the phone call was more important.

"What did that last sentence mean?" Pinky asked.

Brain regarded Pinky for a long moment. "It's a favorite quote among many Selenians. But it's rather saccharine, I'm afraid."

"I'm not," Pinky said.

"If you must know, it means 'new stars shall be born from our minds and hearts'." Brain's voice was so soft, Pinky had to strain to hear it. "As I said, it's saccharine."

"It sounds so poetic!" Pinky smiled. And romantic too!

Brain didn't say anything. His orbs cast a gentle red glow over his shining pink eyes.

Egad, his orbs! They were glowing now! Even the one on his tail!

"Brain, you did it!" Pinky cheered, trying to do a cartwheel. But he landed flat on his face instead, though he popped right back up. "You found what made you happy!"

Brain touched the orbs on his antennae, awed by their appearance. Then he turned towards the dark pathway, gesturing for Pinky to follow.

They didn't have to worry about traps or getting stuck anymore! Pinky skipped along behind Brain, who walked at a brisk pace.

A soft red glow lit up the metal walls around them as they plunged deeper into the maze. But there were no lefts, rights, or confusing turns. Just straight ahead.

"Thanks for being here with me, Brain. It's not scary anymore," Pinky said gratefully, taking Brain's hand in his own.

"Keep walking, Pinky," Brain replied, keeping his eyes forward. If anything, the light grew a little brighter. "We should be nearing the end of the maze."

Pinky sniffed the air. He could've sworn he smelled cheese.

Hold the phone! He smelled cheese!

And there was an opening ahead of them!

Pinky's stomach growled as they stepped into the light, and lo and behold, there were two lumps of cheddar right in front of them!

Even Brain was smiling as he chomped down on the cheese.

Pinky dug in. And it was the best cheese he'd ever tasted in his life!

o-o-o-o-o

It took a long time for the lab to clear out after they finished the maze. The scientists were shocked by Pinky clearing the maze for the first time. He couldn't blame them.

He astounded himself too.

Brain's light had dimmed long before the lab closed, annoyed by the constant poking and prodding. They wanted to know who spliced him with butterfly DNA because of his antennae, though multiple people thought he was spliced with a mosquito since he bit any curious fingers that strayed close to his face.

"Those ignorant fools will be bowing to me soon enough, Pinky," Brain proclaimed as he dialed the number on the invitation. "Hold the card up."

"Hurry, Brain!" Pinky urged, shooting a fearful glance at the clock. They only had thirty minutes left!

Brain punched the number into the phone, then hit the call button.

"Please work!" Pinky begged the phone as it rang. He wanted to wear fancy clothes and mingle and swim in the chocolate fountain so much!

The phone rang once, twice, then the call finally went through.

"Hello, this is Harold, butler of Lamont Manor," a voice with a charming British accent said. "May I ask who I'm speaking with?"

Pinky bounced from toe to toe in excitement, though he tried to curb it when Brain held up a hand for him to stop. But he couldn't help his tail twitchies.

"This is Mr. Clarke," Brain said, using the name on the card. "My spouse and I will be coming to the ball on Sunday."

"I see," Harold said, his tone changing into one of disgust. That was a little odd. "Another new spouse then, Anthony?"

New spouse? Brain mouthed in confusion.

Pinky shrugged.

"Mrs. Clarke is on the invitation. She's allowed inside too, correct?" Brain asked.

"Assuming she's still your wife by Sunday, yes," Harold said. "I'll put your names on the guest list. Try to do something about that awful rasp of yours, will you? Good night."

The call ended.

"The real Mr. Clarke sounds like a delightful fellow," Brain muttered.

"I'm sure it won't be so bad, Brain!" Pinky grinned. Now all they had to do was find fancy stuff for the ball! "You're gonna be wearing a mask anyway!"

"I suppose," Brain sighed.

"No supposing!" Pinky shook his finger at him. "Besides, you haven't finished your Lor Altal story yet! You know, it's funny how it reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. With the feuding families and star-crossed lovers and all! Except much happier, cause Reikro and Silda will help bring about peace to the planet of Selene and live happily ever after!"

Brain didn't make eye contact with Pinky for the next few hours.

My original plan was to have them mistaken for feeder mice after they finished the maze, and they would've been plopped into a snake enclosure with a snake named Gladys. Pinky would've been caught in the coils (Gladys is nonvenomous and would kill by constricting rather than venom), and Brain would rescue him.

Ultimately, I decided to cut this idea out and have them run a maze instead, which is tedious but not life-threatening. Since the maze is light on danger, I decided to focus more on Pinky and Brain interactions here, and include the Lor Altal oral storytelling tradition, which has been mentioned in previous chapters as an aside. Plus, I believe this story would benefit from Pinky learning more about where Brain came from, since previous chapters have placed the focus on Brain learning about Earth.

The storytelling is an aspect of Selenian culture Brain likes but never got to fully enjoy. Since Brain seems to have a hidden interest in acting and theatre, given the number of his schemes that involve cinema, broadcasting, and in one case, Broadway, I decided to incorporate that bit of his character here.

Brain's story is just an abridged Romeo and Juliet IN SPACE!