Title: It Hurts Far Too Much
Summary: Tony didn't expect the call from Tim. But it was the reason for it that had him a little shocked. So, big brother DiNozzo came back full force. If only for a little while. And sometimes...that's all you need. Someone who understands and listens.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Written on request…long time coming. A bit shorter than the others I have written but I could draw it out too much.
"Hello, DiNozzo residence." The young voice wasn't what Tim expected to hear. But he was almost positive that he knew who it was.
"Tali?" He asked.
"Yes, who is this?" she replied. 7-years-old and Tim could nearly picture her, he still had the video of her asking him to come and visit so she could meet her "cousins".
"It's Uncle Tim." He said, "is your daddy there?"
"Yeah. ABBA! IT'S UNCLE TIM!" She had shouted without moving the phone and Tim got an earful of 7-year-old shout.
"Tali, what have I said about yelling into the phone?" Tony's voice sounded.
"Not to do it." Tali's voice replied.
"And what did you do?" Tony asked, his voice was closer but still slightly muffled, he had the phone and had covered the mouthpiece.
"Yelled into it." She replied.
"Right. You've probably blown out Uncle Tim's eardrum. Hey Probie." Tony's voice was firm but Tim knew he smiled when he had the phone.
"Not the Probie anymore, Tony." Tim grinned.
"You were my Probie, Tim. What's up?" Tony asked.
"I can't call just to talk?" Tim asked.
"Of course, you can…but you didn't." Tony said.
"You, Gibbs and Abby all have this uncanny ability to know when there is something bothering us. I will never know how you do it. I think Gibbs will have to teach me that at some point." Tim mused; Tony laughed.
"Good luck with that. He's still suspended right?" Tony asked.
"Yeah, he is. So, I'm in charge right now. It's not somewhere I want to be." Tim sighed.
"No? Tell me, what's going on." Tony was ready to listen and help in any way he could.
"It's Ellie. She's gone. Left NCIS." Tim said. Tony didn't know what to say.
"What are you talking about, Tim? Ellie loves NCIS." Tony said as he poured himself a coffee.
"Loved, I think is a more appropriate word. She was responsible for a leak at the NSA, and she didn't think that it would be good for her career at NCIS so she quit." Tim said.
"I need something stronger than coffee." Tony muttered.
"Look it's not a huge deal. It's just that she left without a goodbye." Tim said.
"At all?" Tony asked.
"Apparently Nick chased her, but she didn't say goodbye to Ducky, Jimmy, Kasie or me." Tim said.
"I'm sure she'll call some time and explain why." Tony said.
"Well, I'm thinking…you said goodbye to everyone…it hurt when you left. I mean I got better than a 'you'll do' but still. I'm thinking maybe she thought it would hurt too much." Tim said.
"It does hurt to say goodbye. Particularly with friends." Tony said, "I'll call her."
"Hello?" Her voice was soft as if she was somewhere and she didn't want to disturb the quiet.
"Hey, what's going on, Ellie?" He asked, he could hear background noise he knew where she was.
"Tony?!" She gasped.
"The one and only." He replied.
"This is a surprise!" She said, sounding happy to hear from him.
"Just wanted to check in. How's it going?" He asked.
"Fine. You know, keeping busy." She said.
"Tim got you on the paperwork huh? No cases?" He asked, he knew she was lying to him, he wanted her to own up.
"Oh…you don't know. Uh, I resigned." She said, there she'd owned up to it.
"Why?" He asked.
"It's a long story." She said.
"I've got nothing but time, Ellie. But if you'd prefer, I can come out to DC and we can talk." Tony offered.
"I'm in Oklahoma. At home." She said, he knew the sounds he could hear and it wasn't the sounds of the open spaces of her family's property in Oklahoma.
"I can go there too." He said.
"I don't want to disrupt your life with my problems." She told him.
"Ellie. I already knew you'd resigned and why. Tim called me." Tony said, deciding that he was going to admit why he'd called.
"Oh…" She sighed.
"Tim told me you left without saying goodbye. Naturally he's upset." Tony said.
"Well…it's complicated." She said.
"Like I said, I've got time. All I want to know right now is why you lied to me. Turn around." Ellie spun around to lock eyes with him from across the square that she had gone to so she could sit and think.
"Tony, what are you doing here?" She asked, hugging him tightly.
"I want to know what's up. I mean I heard about the leak. But that was while you were at NSA. So why does it affect your job at NCIS?" Tony said.
"I knew I'd get judged and my security clearance was pulled." She shrugged.
"Been there. HR screwed up my paperwork with another agents and I had to go through a physical to get my confidential clearance back." Tony told her.
"So, did you?" She asked.
"Yeah. But it's not about me right now. Tell me why did you resign and not say goodbye to everyone?" He said.
"I didn't want to say goodbye to anyone, but Nick found me." She admitted.
"Yeah, but why not?" He asked.
"It's complicated." She sighed.
"Ellie…I've been there, remember? Talk to me. Talk to big brother Tony." He coaxed.
"It's hard." She said.
"I know-" he started but she cut him off.
"No. It's hard to say goodbye and…it hurts. It hurt when you said goodbye – even if I hadn't been around as long as Tim or Abby or any of the rest of the team. But I was still heartbroken when you left. I was losing a friend, a best friend, a brother, a partner and…dare I say it…a mentor. Gibbs never had the patience to teach me anything but you, Tony, you taught me how to be an investigator. To not analyze and over-think things, to just act sometimes. Trust my instincts. That's invaluable to me." She said, honestly.
"Ellie. I didn't want to leave so soon. I had been looking to leave, yes. Tali gave me a reason and I left. I had planned on giving more of the SFA duties to Tim. To make sure I knew he was ready. But the day I left…I just knew. He was ready to be SFA and you were ready to be his junior agent. And I truly believe you were." He said.
"It just hurts…more, I think, than it should." Ellie said.
"It was never going to be easy, Ellie. No one ever said it was. Saying goodbye to friends is hard, it's even harder to day goodbye to family. And I've had to do that a lot. My mother, my frat brothers, Peoria, Philly, Baltimore and NCIS. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone." Tony said, and he really didn't that feeling was the worst in the world.
"How do you deal with it?" She asked.
"I don't think I ever did. I think I just covered up any hurt with humor. It was my mask and my favourite one to use." He said with a shrug.
"I guess I don't have a mask as good as yours. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to feels this way." She said, he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug.
"Ellie, everyone feels that way when they have to say goodbye. It's not an easy thing." He said to her, holding her tightly. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, the sort of thing a brother would do, and right now that's what he was. He was a big brother.
"Thanks, Tony. I needed to hear it's not just me." Ellie said into his chest, her tears weren't ready to fall yet – but they would and when they did, she knew she could pick up the phone and call her best friend, her big brother, her partner, her mentor. He because he knew just why it hurts far too much to say goodbye.