Disclaimer: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, and related properties bunch of others is the creation of Masashi Kishimoto and the property of Shueisha, Viz Media, TV Tokyo Co., and Shonen Jump. Please go support the official release.
"Excuse me?" Kakashi looked up from his book, annoyed with the glare he was receiving.
"I should've asked this 3 years ago, but how can you read this sexist stuff Kakashi-sensei? This book degrades women as nothing more than sexual objects! It makes us women look bad. When you ever stop reading this sexually objectified garbage?''
'Here we go again.' Kakashi couldn't help but roll his only visible eye in irritation.
Couldn't he read his book in peace without interruption? Dumb question. This village was filled with puritan kunoichi who seemed to hate this book with a hate boner the size of the Hokage monument. Erotic book? Bad! Says the Kunoichi of this village. The irony of their claims was ever outside their grasp.
"Sakura, I heard you killed someone last week for a mission correct.'' Sakura nodded, confused where this was going. "And you mind telling me the nature of the mission?''
Listening in on the details of the mission, which entailed Sakura killing a civilian bartender who lived in the heart of fire country.
"So you killed a bartender. An innocent bartender who was killed because he simply insulted the wife of a successful businessman, correct?"
With Sakura's nod of confirmation, Kakashi continued.
"You killed someone for pay. And yet here you are criticizing me, for reading an erotic novel. What you did last week is way more heinous than me reading Icha-Icha. Your actions have probably left a family without their father/husband. My reading of Icha-icha isn't harming anyone. So on what grounds do you have to stand on to admonish me?"
Before Sakura can make a rebuttal, Kakashi cut off her. He was going to make sure Sakura dropped this "holier than thou" attitude she had going on.
"Has it ever occurred to you that this book is fictional? None of the stuff that occurs within this book are real. Everything was made up in the writer's head. This sexual objectification you're complaining about is not real. Do you see men complaining about how Icha-Icha demeans men? No you don't. Why? Because us men know how to dissociate fiction from reality. We know this stuff isn't real so we don't bother wasting out times complaining about these sort of things. Again, this stuff is not real."
"But this clearly shows how the author looks at women. They put their views into their novel!"
"Maybe you're correct about that. Maybe the author only see women as toys or meat to be used. Ok, so why don't you take your feelings up with the author instead of complaining to me? I didn't write this. I had nothing to do with the creation of this book."
"But you paying for these books is supporting the author to make more!" Sakura said as Kakashi left his mind to ponder an answer.
"You are a chunin Sakura. You are in support of the ninja system which sexually objectifies women? You are aware that plenty of Kunoichi are practically used as prostitutes, right? They sell of their bodies to get an advantage, whether it be intel, or to get close to a target that needs to be taken out. That right there is real sexual objectification occurring but no, here you are ranting about fictional sexual objectification instead of focusing and putting your time into tackling real life sexual objectification.
And need I mention that many of the times the Kunoichi are forced into doing so sort of missions, right? Just like any other mission where we don't have much say. In fact, did you know that our current Hokage partaken in such missions? Hell, did you know Lady Tsunade didn't get her moniker "The legendary sucker" by sucking at gambling? I can assure you, she didn't."
Sakura didn't need Kakashi to explain. She came to the conclusion herself. This was an eye-opener to the Haruno. When you think you knew someone, then comes information that shatters your previous beliefs of said person.
"And finally, did you even read an Icha Icha book?" Kakashi shook his head after seeing Sakura shake her head. "You mean to tell me you were here educating about the "evils" of this book and you haven't even read it?" So she was just spouting stuff she heard other kunoichi say? Kakashi did not train not sheep! Pulling out his spare Icha Icha novel he always held on his person for occasions like this, he handed it to Sakura, who was less than pleased with the offer.
"But, I'm not a pervert!"
"Hm, is that Sasuke over there naked?" Sakura quickly turned around, nearly snapping her own neck in the process, and saw nothing but an empty training ground behind her. "My my Sakura, you really want to see Sasuke naked huh? You naughty girl."
Sakura's retort never found its target as she only came to see the book lying on the ground with a note that read, "Enjoy. You'll thank me later."
Kakashi smiled to himself as he watching from the nearby trees as Sakura left the training ground, Icha Icha in stowed away in her weapon's pouch.
The End.
A few things.
1) This is early shippuden Sakura here. So don't come at me and moan about how Kakashi gave a minor a porn book when he literally taught said minor how to kill. You'll look like an idiot if you do.
2) Don't come at me and say "the whole women-hating erotic books trope is played for laughs.'' First of all, I know that. Second of all, that's the meta reasoning. I can write a character to be stupid for comedic reasons, but that doesn't change that at the end of the day, I wrote stupid character.
And lastly, this type of humour is just not funny, or at least in my opinion.
I'm not going to look at fics where women are written to be completely unreasonable and then laugh like, ''Hahaha! She beat a guy even though she was the one who walked in on him when he was the one who using the toilet! Haha comedy gold!''
Hahaha, fuck no!
This fic of mine is a massive fuck you to those fics. Fuck the lot of them. I'm tired of running into those fics that use those boring, uninspired tropes.
3) I swear to god if someone comes in here and talk about, blah blah blah, Tsunade never did seduction missions in canon, please shut the fuck up you stupid idiot.