Author Note: Hello to anyone who is reading this story. This is a redemption stories of sorts for Azula who is much more open minded and questioning of herself in this story, but also showcases other characters giving prominent spot light to most of the Gaang along with Ty lee and Mai. I am cross posting this from A03, though on A03 the story is much further ahead. Have a long list of original characters and the intended length of the story is long, with multiple arcs and goal being to show the characters ageing along facing a destructive looming threat. The main ships are Aang/Azula, Zuko/Katara/ Sokka/Suki, Ty lee/Mai, and Toph/OC. If you enjoy the story please leave a review. If you find any mistakes let me know.
Azula wasn't weak. She didn't know how to lose. For her losing had never been a possibility she could ever consider. Failure had been the equivalent of death, that was what Father had told her. She was perfect, unlike her brother or uncle. She didn't have the luxury of being otherwise. She could not and would not fail. Any personal loss was inconsequential, with her destiny being to rule the Fire Nation and shape it for generations to come.
Azula had always relied on herself first and foremost but now, she found it all for nothing. She had always considered herself one step ahead of her enemies, one step ahead of her friends and certainly one step ahead of ZuZu.
She couldn't believe she had fallen to him. The humiliation of her defeat had started strong enough that it gave her the rage needed to hope. During the early days inside the cell, she had kept repeating over and over, what her destiny was, who she was and why she would win in the end. Yet slowly as the days moved forward and turned to weeks, in the emptiness of her small isolated cell, she found her inner strength was waning.
She found it hard to gather the strength needed to endure, to face what was to come. It had been over 8 weeks since her defeat. She still had trouble accepting she had lost. Worst of all was not only had she suffered the humiliating defeat at the hands of that wretched waterbender, she had broken down and created a spectacle in their audience.
Her brother had seen her violently bawling with her uncontrollable grief shortly after being defeated and chained. He had moved her to this cell shortly after the Agni Kai and hadn't spared a second glance towards her. She realized now this is why father told her not to be weak, to not let anything short of perfection be the norm.
Neither her brother or anyone else had bothered to visit her since she was placed in the cell, no one cared for a broken, and humiliated princess. She was left to heed to her inner thoughts, all while being provided with 3 meals and a bowl of water daily by royal guards. She understood that this was quite a generous arrangement considering she... was surely being viewed as the worst creature in the world now.
She knew she had lost; she knew rationally she should worry about what Zuko would do to her. Zuko was weak but not a complete idiot. She couldn't trust him to let her go and be free. She was bound by duty to reclaim her stolen throne from the traitor. Her worries resided with how her father would react. She knew it was a matter of time before news of her defeat would reach word to her Father.
A greater silent concern which kept repeating inside of her mind was the outcome of father's battle with the Avatar. She knew he had to have won. He was the Fire Lord, blessed by Agni himself. He had taught her and provided her with teachings which built her to be strong. He had…loved her, at least in his own manner she repeated to her self. She couldn't accept Fire Lord Ozai had fallen to the Avatar. He had to have won and was having her punishment for her failure being spending time locked inside of this cell.
This served as another fundamental belief which alliwed her to keep what little sanity she had left. Father... he couldn't be dead, if he was dead than... she was truly alone with no one who would be there for her.
As she considered the foolish Avatar, she cursed the boy silently but viciously. It would have been so much simpler if he had simply stayed dead. Azula didn't understand how he had managed to survive the lightning she had hit him with.
If he had been out of the way than she and father could have gone together and reigned fire onto the Earth Kingdom, freeing them and having them rise as a greater entity incorporated into the great Fire nation. Had that damned boy stayed dead, maybe even Zuko would have stayed with her and they could have formed an alliance with her as the Fire Lord and Zuko as a valuable councilor
It wasn't a thought she liked to consider but all alone in the cell she couldn't deny it. She had been happiest in the few short weeks Zuko had returned from his banishment. The pressures of being the perfect heir were shared and she had someone who at least understood what it meant to be a child of Fire Lord Ozai. They didn't talk as openly as she imagined other siblings like those cursed water peasants did, but they had moments where they understood one another.
She had dared to envision a future for her and himself where thet could live together not competing for the throne. She dreamed of a future with her, Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee all helping to shape the world. They could have been happy once more. Well, at least as happy as someone of the royal fire family could be.
She tried to close her eyes and banish such weak thoughts from her mind. Thinking about such a future was pointless and only served to weaken and corrupt her. She didn't know what was to become of her. She only knew that if her Father was still alive, she would have to find a way to meet him. She had to meet him and make up for her failures. Father would be most angry. He would beat her for her failures, but he would not kill her. He rewarded loyalty, and he would let her live and stay his daughter could she find a means to locate him.
She found herself surprised when she considered the treacherous taught of Father being dead. She tried to burn her wrist as necessary punishment but the shackled chains on her hands and feet bound her too tight for such free movement. Still the thought kept on persisting. If the Avatar, cursed as he may be, had found it in him to let go and release his pacifist values, then it meant she had truly lost.
Zuko had won, uncle had won, mother had won and it meant her life was finished. Zuko had Mai and his friends, he would either lock her up for the rest of her life in this small isolated cell… or he would finish the job, claim his victory over her and burn her to death letting her feel what he felt 3 years ago.
Such a thought made her want to puke. She couldn't imagine Zuko having it in him to go so far but a defeated and humiliated princess was worthless to him, he could discard her once more whenever he wished. As she gazed her head a few inches to the left, she felt her anger rise once more.
Azula started at the quite but unmistakable figure who was sitting a few feet besides her. Her mother didn't speak much during the time she had been here, days had gone by with her not having spoken a single word towards her. She simply sat besides her looking down and about the cell.
On occasions she would take glances at Azula, her eyes showing sadness, pain and utter weakness. She hated that she couldn't dispel her mother. She had tried during the first few days in the cell. She shouted and screamed at the top of her lungs, blaming her mother for her current situation.
Had her mother been loyal and stayed at least neutral during the Agni Kai she would have claimed victory. Instead, the woman appeared days before and poisoned her minds and thoughts. Claiming she loved her, what a bunch of crap! Her mother had only loved Zuko, Azula knew that, she never had time for her as a child and considered her a monster even then. She did her part to put her beloved and precious baby boy on the throne, sacrificing her horrid monster in return.
She didn't want to consider these thoughts, but she was unable to do anything. The woman would not leave her be. She had done her task, and helped Zuko win. Azula for the life of her could not understand why she was still here? What did her mother want by further taunting her with her presence?
Mother just continued sitting besides her with small tears in her eyes. She had never been an emotional person. Azula couldn't remember ever crying in front of her mother. She wanted to make an exception and simply break down once more, however seeing her mother not having aged a day since she left only filled her with a greater resolve.
She swore she wouldn't break down and cry in front of the woman. She had left her long ago, and that was only in the physical sense. She wondered if her mother had ever truly cared for her? Father was strict and demanded perfection else there be severe punishment. However, he still had expectations, and demands of her. He had acknowledged her gifts and given her a purpose. Azula's earliest memories of her mother were of her either being with Zuko or being concerned about Zuko, she rarely had time for her.
She could recognize that her mother had abandoned her just like everyone else. Mother, Zuko, Uncle, even Lu Ten…they had all left her, one by one. She was the one who lived with Father. She was the one who strived to fulfill his needs.
She thought her commitment to him had earned his love and trust, but reflecting back at those notions, she realized those weren't the correct terms. Her father valued Azula, he understood her and saw what she had to offer. However, father had left as well… he told her to stay and guard and empty nation as a puppet Fire Lord while he went off into battle.
It hurt to consider that the one person she had strived to please her life couldn't provide her with something Zuko was showered with by numerous individuals.
"The Princess has not spoken in several days since being placed here" came a rough burly voice from outside her cell.
It was one of the guards, who had been providing her with food since she was placed here. She had tried to question his loyalty, demanding he release her otherwise her father would have him severely punished. The guard had remained respectful but did not budge. She couldn't understand how he and the others had stopped fearing her. Instead of running over one another to do what she asked, they now pitied her and tried to be patient, as if she was an idiot.
They must be following Father's orders she repeated to herself. If they were under Zuko's control they surely would have been cruel and abusive towards her. This guard she remembered had not been cruel but had totally ignored any attempts to threaten him. She could endure this as long as need be, just so long as she had someone to return back to. She needed someone, someone who saw her as worth keeping even if that was someone who had proven not capable of actually loving her.
Slowly, several figures approached towards her cell. The gate slowly creaked open. A bright light appeared. Having been in such a dark environment for so long, Azula took a few seconds to re-adjust her sight. When she stared up and saw what was in front of her, she internally panicked unable to rationalize what he was doing here.
The first figure was her brother, dressed in the traditional crimson red robes of the Fire lord. On his head rested the 5 flamed-headpiece indicating his ascension to the Fire Lord. As much as she hated to say it, her brother looked the part. He had recovered quickly from the lightning to his chest and didn't look any worse for ware. Somewhere deep inside of her, she breathed a sigh of relief. She hated Zuko, she hated what he did to her nation, to father, to…her. However, she was at minimum happy that fate hadn't made her kin slayer.
She quickly realized what she had just said and cursed herself. It disgusted her that her mind had gone so weak in such a short time. Zuko should be the one in chains, he should be the one at her mercy, he had betrayed his nation. Since when did Agni reward cowardice and tracheary? Her brother had switched to the winning side and got rewarded for this by becoming the Fire lord. The spirits must be playing a cruel joke with her.
As her brother entered into the cell with the flame in his palms, she spotted the two other figures, one was the water bending witch who had defeated her. She wanted to lash out desperately at the bitch. She realized though; her hands were tied literally at the moment. She would need to play smart and wait for the right moment. Right now, she needed to analyze and gather information which could aid her in escaping her confinement.
The waterbender had on her traditional outfit with her blue dress customary of the Southern water tribe. She walked freely as if she owned the bloody palace. Her eyes held hatred. Good she thought, the waterbender wasn't as pure as she imagined. She knew what Azula could and would do once she was free from this hell.
The final figure on the right of Zuko was him. The bloody Avatar. He wore a yellow shaded Parka, and walked with caution. His body language was tense and he didn't have any great battle scars on him. She couldn't believe he looked unharmed. He had battled Fire lord Ozai a few short months ago. How was this possible? He…he couldn't have won, let alone so convincingly.
"Azula, I…we were hoping to talk" said her brother. His voice still had a soft tone. She was surprised in all honesty. Did the idiot think she would want anything to do with him?
She clapped her chained hands, as best as she could. The sounds of her hands meeting one another leaving resounding echo's across the cell. "Well, well, well it looks like I'm being greeted by traitors and weaklings today" she said in her usual sharp tone. "What reason could I possibly have to talk to any of you?!" she hissed at the group.
The Avatar stepped forward. He started into her eyes, his expression similar to that of her mothers', who had conveniently exited the cell as soon as her captors had shown up.
"Princess Azula we wanted to speak peace...fully with you" his voice said with a nervous shiver. She smirked at that. The false hero was still a boy and he still feared her.
"We wanted to tell you your father, Fire lord Ozai is defeated. His reign of tierney is no more and he won't ever harm anyone again" the waterbender said with a slight smirk on her face.
She knew that them being here meant father had suffered defeat, but did the water bender just say the Avatar had killed him. Her father…was…dead. She couldn't believe it; she didn't accept it. This had to be a lie, constructed by Zuko to get back at her.
Her panic, swiftly turned to anger and rage. She lunged at them, her chains prohibited her from making any real traction, but she bent fire from her mouth. Blue Azure flames quickly filled the room and were directed with the intent of burning the Avatar and seeking vengeance. The Avatar must have anticipated her reaction, he used his air bending cut through the flames, extinguishing them without suffering any harm or allowing the others to be damaged.
The water bender had not suffered any damage either, shielding herself with some of the water she kept in the case attached to her hip. The water benders eyes screamed murder.
Heh if father was dead than having the water bender kill her would not be such a bad fate. She had nothing left to live for now. The pain of such a realization forced her vision to go blurry and her breathing to expand swiftly.
Zuko who had checked and made sure that Katara and Aang were okay took only a second to stare at her before he realized that she was spiraling and having a panic attack.
"Azula calm down! Please listen to me! You didn't let Katara finish. Yes, Father has been defeated, but he still lives. Aang took his bending from him, so now he won't ever hurt anyone, now he won't be hurting you again!" Zuko pleaded signaling for the guards to stay behind and leave them alone. Zuko sounded nearly genuine, like he truly gave a crap about her well being.
"ZuZu you fucking traitor!" Azula who, typically didn't swear, atleast not in front of others said with venom laced in her voice.
Swearing itself was a sign of weakness. Father had told her she needed to be in control of her situations at all times such that her emotions never spiraled and she didn't resort to swearing. She didn't give a damn about that at this moment, because she couldn't bare the thought that a weakling like Zuko had insinuated she was like him.
"You dare claim father hurt me. You let your single victory get to your head brother, unlike you I was never a failure, I knew how to play the game and followed all the rules and was on the path to greatness" she all but spat towards him. Her body was seething with rage, she tired to force herself to calm down, and hold a small semblance of dignity in front of them, but it was difficult to do.
Not having been in contact with anyone for the past few months, she wanted to lash out, to hurt anyone who pretended to know and care for her. Her attempts at doing so only led to her stating a thought she had been trying to keep hidden deep inside of her:
"Father didn't hurt me. He could never hurt me. Anything you considered harmful was for my greater good. He trained me, molded me and made me the perfect heir. I was destined to lead our nation. It was all going fine until you decided to leave. The only person who has ever harmed me is you when you left!" she screamed without realizing she had admitting her greatest inner weakness to her brother.
Zuko's eyes widened, upon hearing his sister's outburst. His internal realizations had been proven true. His sister hated him. She blamed him for her condition and the worst part was that he couldn't even say she was wrong. Had he been stronger he would have done what his heart wanted and pleaded with her to come with him when he left during the eclipse.
He regretted his decision shortly after leaving knowing it had probably led to her mental condition worsening when he first saw her in such a state at the Weatern Air Temple.
Now he was sure his sudden and abrupt departure had been one of the the main causes for her mental downfall. He regretted not coming to see her sooner, but he knew it was for the best. He had quickly restructured the poltical landscape of the Fire Nation and the world by extension in his short 2 months as ruler. As much as his heart ached to see Azula and fix things between them, he understood he had to put his duty to the world above his own desires.
The next few minutes were awkward for all parties, Azula tried to calm herself down, she hated what she had accidently said. She didn't need Zuko. Zuko was weak. He could never harm her. Her mother had won Zuko and the waterbender the fight. She had messed with her mind which led to her arrogance and defeat. Zuko wasn't anything, he wasn't, she repeated in her mind.
Zuko tried to grab her hand, maybe in a different setting it would have been an acceptable gesture. Inside of her prison cell however, Azula wouldn't give him the pleasure. She moved her body as far away from him as possible with the chains. "Don't you dare touch me ZuZu! Don't pretend you care about me. You've only ever cared about yourself. You left your nation because it was for your own benefit. Your pretending to care for me now after 2 months not paying a single glance at my direction is simply because you need something from me!" She hissed at him.
He pulled his arm away from hers and looked into her eyes. It hurt him to realize that there... was truth in what she said. He did need something from her but he also wanted his family back, and as he had proven by venhemently rejecting anyone bold enough to ask for punishment for his sister during the past 2 months, he knew thar Azula would always be his family.
"Azula, please I know I left you. I'd apologize for leaving without you on the day of Black Sun, but that's in the past. I am sorry I could not come sooner, I'm ashamed by that and promise I will make it up to you somehow. I..I never wanted to fight you or harm you. I honestly would have been fine never becoming Fire lord, if I knew you weren't being controlled by Ozai. I saw what was wrong with the world. I spent 3 years at sea, going from city to city. The world was bleeding Azula." Zuko said in his usual emotional tone. He was so pathetic, going on with his humanitarian view.
"It suffered from a monstrosity which wasn't stopping. Our father was the monster. He was destroying the world, day by day, city by city, inch by inch. I had to stop him from claiming the world for himself, but I never truly thought you were my enemy. Yes, we were on opposing sides, but I couldn't hate you. I only hoped to defeat you in order to stop our father from completing his goal of living on through you. Our father made us hate each other" Zuko said with authority. He was odd, he could go from being emotional and pathetic one moment, to having a commanding and authoritative voice the next.
"Its not too late, we can still work towards fixing things. I know your capable of changing, I know you can see right from wrong and you can help restore the world correcting all the mistakes made by our family" He said. He didn't waver, his words were genuine yet foolish all the same.
"You think I want anything to do with you… to do with all of your friends. You were always a fool ZuZu. It's obvious that you want something from me and after that simply wish to discard me for your friends once more. Your beloved Avatar, will gladly take my bending away and lock me in here to rot out my days once whatever you want is fulfilled". She responded back to his request.
Her words were scathing but she knew they cut to the heart of things. They had to; her brother didn't want to be with her. Her brother… didn't care for her. Brothers who leave and betray their sisters once couldn't be trusted again.
"Princess Azula... as the Avatar, I know you consider me your enemy. You think I want to hurt you and seek vengeance for what happened in Ba Sing Se. However, I swear on my honor as a monk, I have no intentions. Zuko told me about his and your childhoods in great detail. Its not only Zuko who believes you are capable of change and good. I know you have the ability to change the world. I offer you a chance to do so only this time for the right reasons. I want to help you see that there is more to life than conquering and having people fear you. I ask you simply keep an open mind and look at the world and see for yourself the changes happening only 2 months since the end of the war."
The water bender stepped forward, looking Azula directly in her eyes with her arms crossed across her chest "Listen, its obvious enough that I don't like you. You did a lot of horrible things, including acts of terror to people I care deeply for. Just being in this room with you brings back bad memories for me. At first, I was fine with you being locked in here till the end of time…." she paused before starting again "However, I believe in my friends. I know Zuko thinks your capable of change, and so does Aang. I'm willing to provide my healing services to you to help you with your psychological and physical pain, however we need you to be willing to work with us and show you want to be free and happy. Prove to the world your truly great and earn the respect you demand from others."
Azula had been absorbing all of this in. These people must have been delusional. Did they really believed she was capable of changing? It was a foreign thought. Didn't they know that monsters could never change? They only consumed whatever didn't kneel before them. She did find it difficult to decipher whether they were being sincere or not. Her time in this cell along with her mental troubles surely had impacted her people's skills, she thought sourly.
Hearing them all come across as self-rightous pissed her off greatly. Where did they get off telling her she was corrupted and screwed? Their values were only just and correct since they had won the war. Had her father and her won, they would be ruling and they would determine what was right versus wrong. She wanted to flip them off and tell them to go screw themselves. She had been raised proud.
Being humble was a foreign trait for her. She was Princess Azula, the perfect princess, the perfect heir, the perfect warrior. Why would she ever want to change? She wanted to desperately laugh in their faces, but the emotional(weakened) part of her mind kept asking "Why does everyone always leave you? It was true, she had lost...everyone.
Lu had left first dying off in a that cursed city. She remembered her cousin well. Despite so many years having passed, she remembered how he would treat her. It was different from the rest. He was so unlike Fire Lord Ozai, Uncle, Fire Lord Azulon, Mother, even Zuko. He had enjoyed spending time with her. Playing games with her and helping her train. Even despite being much further up in line of succession than Azula. When she had learned that Lu had died, it hurt her deeply. She didn't show it to anyone but she never wanted to feel that way again. She didn't want to care for…even love someone after experiencing the pain of loss.
Unfortunately for her, it wasn't ever too long before someone eagerly left her one way or another. After Lu, it was mother the night Fire lord Azulon died, then Uncle and Zuko to chase for the Avatar, then Mai and Ty Lee twice, once for Omashu and a back-water circus in the Earth kingdom, and then again by betraying her at the Boiling rock. Her most recent loss was Father, who had tossed her aside and proceeded to move along without her during Sozin's Comet.
Everyone she had ever cared for left her without a second thought. The people she wanted to be around, to be acknowledged by, and damn it all to be loved by all left when the chance was provided. The question which she was considering now (not for the first time since being locked in this cell) was whether she was the root of problem? Was there something truly wrong with her? Did she want to change? She knew she didn't want to be alone again for the rest of her days, but she couldn't just give up her way of life.
Attachment to others should be extinguished, others were simply a burden and provided a chance of failing you when needed the most. Father had taught her this, he had allowed her to keep Ty Lee and Mai close but never let them be considered friends in his presence. Had she been more open with them could things have been different? Would Mai and Ty Lee have stuck besides her? She knew... she missed them, she missed having... others she could consider hers.
Her head was pounding from these thoughts, she didn't know what the right cause of action was. What she knew was that Zuko was an idiot, who could be easily manipulated. If she played her cards right, she could find her freedom, while seeing for herself what she truly wanted.
Whether that was being the Fire lord, ruling over the world but ruling by herself in isolation with no family and friends, or being a weakling like Zuko, but having friends she could share her joys and doubts with, & having a brother who she could enjoy her time with rather than constantly competing with, she was not sure?
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before muttering what would change the course of her life for years to come "I'll play along with your dumb game. What do you need of me for me to earn my freedom?"
The Avatar smiled, Zuko breathed a sigh of relief seeing her agree to whatever they had in mind. The water bender simply stared at her with her typical hardened expression.
"Zula" her brother said, pausing waiting to see her reaction to him using her childhood nickname. She just ignored it and waited for him to carry on.
"We need your help in finding mother" her brother said hopeful that she would find joy in such an activity.
Azula wanted to strangle the lot then and there, but knew any negative actions know would lead to her bound and alone forever. She just breathed in and out several times before nodding her head, unaware of how her life was to change from the journey to come.