I got this idea stuck in my head on the way to school this morning and had to write it so here you go.
"So, why did you become a firefighter?" Carina asked out of the blue one day.
"What?" Maya said as she finished drying the plate in her hands, "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I was at the station the other day and some of the team was talking about why they became firefighters," Carina shrugged, "And I realized I didn't know why you did."
"Why did you become an OB?" Maya asked, clearly avoiding the question.
"Because I knew I loved taking care of people," Carina said, "And my momma almost died when she was having Andrea and an OB saved her life and that made me so grateful. Also, in med school, when I rotated through OB, I just felt like that is where I fit. Around that time, my papa was going through his very bad patch and had recently been the cause of five patients' deaths and something about OB and bringing new life into the world just felt good after knowing that was what he was doing. I don't know. It felt like I was giving something back to the world that he took."
"That's so beautiful," Maya said, walking over to her wife, wrapping her arms around her waist before planting a kiss on her lips.
Things quickly turned from simple kisses into a heated make out into both of them being almost naked on the couch, breathing heavily and cuddling together.
"You never answered my question," Carina said as she traced patterns on Maya's defined abs, a blanket covering both of them.
"What question?" Maya said, her eyes threatening to close because even through it was only 9 pm, she was exhausted after what they had just done and because she had worked a 24 hour the previous day and hadn't slept in probably close to 40 hours at this point.
"Why you became a firefighter," Carina said, feeling Maya tense up a little in her arms, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to though."
"Um…" Maya said, sighing, "I will tell you…"
"Bambina, you don't have to tell me," Carina said, adjusting their position so Maya was more on top of her so she could hold her close, "I didn't realize it was a hard thing for you to talk about."
"I want to tell you," Maya said, "You are my wife and I love you and I want you to know. I guess I just haven't thought about it for a while and I haven't ever told anyone the full reason."
Carina nodded, just giving her wife the silence she needed to talk about whatever it was she needed to say.
"So, as you know, the day I won my medal, Mason OD'd," Maya said after maybe five minutes of silence, "He was at our house, alone and by some miracle, one of our neighbors was bringing him some dinner because she knew he was home alone and she found him and called 911 which saved his life.
We went home about three days later which is when Lane told us about what had happened, and I think Mason was still in the hospital because he got some infection or something. I think he aspirated when he OD'd if I remember right and got pneumonia really bad, but because of my injury, Lane refused to let me go to the hospital or really anywhere outside the house because he said I needed to heal so I could keep competing. I actually didn't see Mason after I left for London for almost 6 months because Lane kicked him out and I didn't know where he was or how to find him.
Deep down, I knew I was never going to compete again, but I needed him to think I would because I literally had nowhere else to go. I had never been able to have a job because track was my entire life. Well, track and college which I only went to to keep training for track, but I lived at home during college so my dad could keep training me.
Anyway, I was sitting on the front porch when the neighbor who saved Mason came over. Lane was at work and my mom was at the hospital with Mason. She saw me sitting there and came over to check on me or something and I asked her what happened because Lane refused to let anyone tell me what was really going on with Mason. She sat there with me and told me what had happened.
She also told me she had baked some cookies for the firefighters who had come to help that day and that she was going to go take them down there and asked me if I wanted to go. I knew I wasn't supposed to, but Lane wasn't home and I was not in a really great place and I just needed to get out of the house so I agreed to go with her, crutches and all.
We went down to the station, which happened to be 19 even though 88 is closer to our house because 88 was out on another call the day of Mason's OD. We talked to the firefighters, including Captain Herrera and I heard some stories from them and he told me about his daughter who was planning on applying to the fire academy that year and that I would probably be a good candidate with my drive, and that was the day I decided to become a firefighter."
"I understand why that story was hard for you to tell," Carina said, tracing circles on Maya's back.
"I still haven't answered your question though," Maya said, taking a deep breath and letting it out.
"Cosa?" Carina said, confused.
"I didn't tell you why I became a firefighter," Maya said, playing with her wedding band.
"It was not because they saved Mason?" Carina asked, really not understanding what Maya was saying.
"I mean, that was part of it," Maya said, "But another part, maybe the bigger part at the time, was because I figured that firefighting was a pretty dangerous job and a lot of really great people were putting their lives on the line every day and my life wasn't worth nearly as much as theirs so if I did it, and I got hurt or died saving someone, it would be better than someone else doing it."
"So, you became a firefighter so that you could…" Carina said, not even able to finish what she was pretty sure Maya was say.
"Die so someone else didn't have to, yeah," Maya said, sighing, "Like I said, I was not in a super great place at that point. I mean, I had no desire to run into a burning building and never come out on purpose, but I was ok with it if it did happen."
Carina felt tears slipping down her cheek that she tried to wipe away. However, Maya noticed the tears, sighing as she sat up, Carina following suit.
"Don't cry," Maya said, wiping the tears off her wife's face, "I knew I shouldn't have told you."
"No, Bambina, I'm glad you felt safe enough to tell me," Carina said, "It just makes me sad that you felt that way."
"I don't anymore," Maya said, looking at Carina, "I joined the academy and at the same time, got some money from a few brand deals I did in the time after the Olympics before the academy so I got to move out on my own. And then I met Andy and we started working together really well and it was nice and I thought a little bit less about dying in a fire and then we joined 19 together and formed a family and I thought about it a little less, and then, I met you and now, instead of thinking about being ok with dying in a fire if it came down to it, thinking about dying in a fire makes me almost have a panic attack because it scares me so much, and I have you to thank for that."
"For almost giving you panic attacks?" Carina said, raising an eyebrow.
"No," Maya said, shaking her head, "For giving me something to live for. For showing me what a family can really look like and what a healthy relationship is. For making dying, either by fire or any other way, something I don't want until we are both old and then that, preferably, it happens together, with the two of us wrapped in each other's arms because I don't want to ever leave you."
At this point, Carina was almost sobbing and Maya had tears running down her own cheeks.
"I love you more than I know how to express Carina," Maya said, pressing their foreheads together, "So so so much."
"I love you too Bambina," Carina said, giving Maya a gentle kiss. They sat there for a few minutes in each other's arms before Maya let out a huge yawn.
"I think it is time to go to bed, Bambina," Carina said, looking at her wife's sleepy eyes, "You look exhausted."
"I mean, it's been about 41 hours since I slept any kind of decent amount," Maya said, "I'm pretty exhausted."
"Bed, now," Carina said, getting up and pulling her wife with her, "We should have gone to be hours ago."
"Hey, I like what we did instead," Maya said sleepily as they went into the bedroom, "I would almost always rather have sex with you than sleep."
Carina just shook her head as they went into the bathroom, the Italian starting the shower because they both needed to rinse off after their post dinner rendezvous.
Once they were clean, they finished getting ready for bed before crawling into their bed together.
"I am glad you didn't die in a fire before I met you," Carina said, wrapping her arms around her wife.
"If I died in a fire, you would have never met me," Maya said, eyes struggling to stay open.
"Si, and then I would be sad," Carina said, kissing Maya's forehead.
"You wouldn't know," Maya said, losing the battle with her eyes.
"I would still know," Carina said, "My body would know it was missing you."
"You are crazy," Maya said, shaking her head, cuddling closer to her wife.
"Crazy for you," Carina said, pressing what she knew was going the last kiss of the night to Maya's lips.
"I love you," Maya mumbled, finally giving in to her exhaustion.
"I love you too Bambina," Carina said, "Thank you for staying for me."
What did you think? Thanks for reading!