Chapter 6

After the whole shooting April was at the parking lot when she saw Vanessa with Jean and Emily. April daughter came running into her arm crying and April just hugged back, Vanessa was hugging her as well

Vanessa was crying as well as she grabbed her hand.

"You and Emily are staying with me" April was automatically going to deny but Vanessa shushed her

"No, for my peace of mind, you and Emily are staying with me" April had zero energy to argue so she held on to her daughter got in the car. That was when Emily asked

"Mom?" April looked into her daughter Hazel eyes

"Where is aunt Reed?" That was what April was waiting for and she took a deep breath

"I'm sorry sweetie, Aunt Reed… Reed died" Vanessa looked at her in sadness while Emily just hugged her tighter crying bit more.

—Line Break—

That month April mourned, she contacted Reed parents, she was able to arrange for her body to be transported to her parents so they can have the burial there, she was able to attend the funeral with Emily (thank you Vanessa) but she couldn't stay at her apartment and neither could Emily, it was a lot but she honestly couldn't stay and she couldn't stay with Vanessa either. God was she thankful for Vanessa but hell it was a lot being there, she needed her own space again. Then their was the therapy sessions, she literally just started being part of surgeries again and now she has to be cleared by a therapist. They were doing group therapy at first but ever since Lexie breakdown it became one-on-one and frankly it has become frustrating being asked 'how are you doing?' 'What was it like?' 'Tell me about Reed' that's she finally broke

"You wanna know what happened?" She said at Dr. Perkins tired, annoyed and just wanted to get back to her job.

"I tripped and fell on my best friends body, I distracted Chief Shepherd and got him shot, I could hardly help with the surgery that got him shot, and the entire time I was selfishly thinking I need to live" and at that Dr. Perkins well perked up

"Why did you need to live?"

"Excuse me?" April said in astonishment.

"People say 'I want to live' or 'I want to die' but you said 'I NEED to live' why?" April paused and looked at him and she spilled

"I am a mother" and with that even Dr. Perkins looked surprised but April just continued

"I have a 9 year old almost 10 year old named Emily, her father isn't in the picture, my family isn't in the picture and I tripped over her godmother body so, I needed to live, because she cannot lose me as well" Whether was surprised or not it didn't show he…just looked at her

"Does anyone else know?" April shrugged

"It's in my file, so if they looked sure but I haven't told anyone" but she paused and remembered "Chief Shepherd might know, but he heard it while he was shot so, I'm not sure if he remembers" nodded and asked the damn question

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" And god did April hate this question, her reasoning were bunched up together "Are you embarrassed?" And April immediately shook her head.

"Of Emily? No, of me? Yes" pushed her to continue and hell what else could she do at this point.

"I had safe sex, condom and all and somehow still got pregnant, the guy I did IT with, he was my first and I thought he was the love of my life but to him, I was a tick off a scoreboard for him. My parents disowned me, the church I used to go to kept talking behind my back and at one point the pastor, who I came for help and support kicked me out of the church" and now April was ranting "I graduated top of my class, got a scholarship, but I had to fight to be Valedictorian because the school believed that my pregnancy wasn't good for the optics" She was now up and walking around "It was ALL embarrassing living their, knowing I was this… this blight to everyone, this dark spot in Moline history books" She finally sat back down "moving away was probably the best thing I did, but god I wished I didn't have too" she looked at the clock, her session was over it was time to go to the clinic…again.

Or at least that is what she thought until handed her the yellow paper and she looked at him like he was crazy.

"Seriously?" He nodded and before she could grab the paper and bolt before he changed his mind

"Word of advice?" She looked at him. "Tell someone about your kid" she glared at him and all he did was give a smile back and handed her the paper and out she was skipping to Jackson.

—Line Break—

Alex for his part was going through the motions after the shooting, his official girlfriend of at least a week turned into another psych patient ( On track for him honestly ), the bullet was still inside and he going to those mandatory shrink meetings. Their were some changes for one Avery moved in which was surprising but y'know shootings change you I guess and Meredith offered the frat house so who was he going to argue against and Avery was kinda cool, it was nice having another dude who will actually chill with you in the house not that he would ever admit it. Their he was in the cafeteria with Avery when Kepner walked in yellow paper in hand

"Seriously?1? You got cleared for surgery" Alex grumbled but Avery high-fived her, they probably experienced the most loss in the hospital and somehow both Kepner and Avery were cleared. Honestly Kepner was the most surprising he really thought she was going to break and end up like Lexie but it seems she was holding herself together so far.

"Good timing as well, I found the biggest chordoma I have ever seen on a kid " she showed the scans, and fucking hell was it huge

"Is that even operable?" April shrugged her head.

"Usually I would say no, but is another story entirely" which was true, the man loved his lost cause cases. Just as she sat down Avery had to leave which left them sitting awkwardly in the Cafeteria, where he finally noticed people were staring at them.

Really, this hospital and their need for gossip.

"They're staring at us" said April

"Yup" was how Alex responded. April groaned.

"Tch at least they are not staring at you cause you almost died" which he saw April nod to in agreement before looking at one particular nurse straight in the eye and saying

"I'm April Kepner not the dead one, if you're that curious" Alex was now staring at her in slight shock

"Dude"

"What?" April looked at him "Every other day someone comes up to me thinking I'm Reed and going 'I thought you were dead' might as well get that over and done with" Alex was confused as to how that was possible, they didn't even look alike

"That's what I'm saying" well it looks like he said that out loud.

"You'd think I would be recognized for being fired and being a dead girl best friend but no I'm being mistaken for said dead girl" April said jokingly which did cause a chuckle to come out of him. After they both kinda sat their in silence, it wasn't really awkward just silent until they had to leave.

Alex still couldn't understand April Kepner

—Line Break—

To say it was awkward couple of days was an understatement, their was clearly something wrong with , Meredith still could not perform surgery and Cristina was weirdly obsessed with wedding which was a mental breakdown waiting to happen. Dr. Bailey was back which was great, a sense of normalcy came back with her back at the hospital. quit being the chief and now she was here with , and literally splitting a kids head open and getting an evil eye from Meredith, the surgery was insane but by god was their palpable tension between the Shepherd-Grey and she wasn't sure which kind of tension and April wasn't sure which kind of tension she preferred. Well whatever it was she just ignored it. Later their was the wedding and she wore an uncomfortable completely unflattering flannel dress for the wedding but it wasn't like it was her wedding so who cares.

"Don't you have anything else to wear?" Jackson asked, now she defiantly knew she was underdressed for this so she just shook her head 'no'

"Your lucky, you can wear any black and white suit, but I have to wear a dress" April grumbled annoyed while Jackson laughed

"The last time I saw you in a dress that didn't look like you were going to some middle school dance was at the intern mixer" even April laughed at that, he wasn't wrong her dress choices were… questionable.

"If you needed a dress I could have bought you one" Jackson said, which was sweet but she really didn't need him to buy her a dress.

"Thanks but I'm good, if I ever become the centre of any of these parties I will let you buy me a dress but for now I will just wear the same 5-ish dresses I own" Jackson nodded not willing to push the subject and the fact the ceremony started, she could feel the tears welling up

Wedding always made her cry.

—Line Break—

The reception was going on and she was in a corner of the room somewhere just watching, Jackson was flirting with…someone she couldn't tell who and everyone else was mingling around, surprisingly Meredith was the only one who was in the same position as her.

"Hey" April said awkwardly, Meredith greeted her back awkwardly as well

"Where is ?"

"Oh he was…held back" was all she responded leaving no room for questioning so she didn't push it so they both just hung around in her little corner, at this point Reed would have tried to get her to flirt with someone in the room. She couldn't help but smile remembering that. Her musing was interrupted when who came as a plus 1 with came up to her. Alone.

"Hello "

" " she avoided looking at him in the eye.

"I see you aren't TALKING to anyone" and she really had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes, seriously this man was pushy. For some reason or another whenever saw her, he would subtly or not-so-subtly push her to tell someone about her kid.

"You cleared me , I think our little therapy session ended there" April smiled coldly back but that just seemed to elicit a chuckle out of him.

"Yes they are, and I am leaving in couple weeks"

"thank god"

"-but while I am here I will continue to… suggest you talk to someone" April laughed slightly at that comment 'suggest' her ass.

"Go back to your date " and she ended the conversation and he just walked back to and she thought that was the end but Meredith was staring at her

"What was that?" April shrugged in annoyance and Meredith continued to look at her

"What?" And Meredith came closer and asked

"April Kepner did you sleep with the shrink?" April looked at Meredith like she was crazy.

"In what way did any of that-" she made a circular gesture at the direction of the conversation "-make you think I had sex with the man?"

Meredith didn't know much about April Kepner, she came from Mercy West, she was fired, Derek re-hired her, she didn't have a crush on her husband even though it looked like she did, she covered up her miscarriage, and she declined moving in with her and rest of the residents. That last part was probably the weirdest, she really thought Kepner would have said yes but whatever to each their own. As Meredith really looks back and thinks about April Kepner she realized as much of a open book Kepner seems to be, she always was extremely closed off, their was very little anyone really knew about April Kepner. It kinda reminded her of Alex.

"He was flirting with you"

"No he wasn't" April immediately responded and Meredith chuckled

"He was definitely flirting with you"

"I really want to know your definition of flirting, cuz all I got from that was a extremely pushy shrink" April laughed and proceed to gesture to Perkins and Altman location

"Plus he got Altman right their" and she wasn't wrong, Perkins had his hand wrapped around Altman waist they seemed quite close. Meredith couldn't deny that Perkins was definitely with Altman but he was flirting with Kepner.

"He was flirting with you Kepner" honestly Kepner level of denial was strange to her, it wasn't like she was bad looking (though the dress choice was questionable) actually Kepner was quite pretty and it wasn't the first time people had tried to flirt with her. Meredith remembered this one time while they were both at the nurses station one of the male nurses were flirting with her.

"Hey " Meredith looked up from the post-op notes she was looking at, she and Cristina both looked up for a second to see a male nurse (she couldn't even remember the name but he was visually pleasing) greeting April, said doctor barely looked up from her notes just waved when she heard from the side

" 5 bucks she realizes he is flirting" Dr. Percy said to Dr. Adamson.

" Seriously? 10 bucks she goes 'huh what?' And then walks off" Adamson replied.

" 15 bucks on her just walking away" Avery interjected and now all the Mercy Westers were looking at April who was barely looking at the Nurse trying his best to flirt with her.

"This is a normal thing?" Meredith asked and Adamson nodded

"April gets hit on, she barely notices and somehow emasculates every man who tries" both Avery and Charles nodded now Cristina looked at them.

"You both tried to flirt with Kepner?" Both guys nodded

"I wasn't even a rejection, honestly I don't know what it was" Avery said "At Mercy West it became this thing, if you can flirt with April Kepner and get her to flirt back well you won"

Cristina looked in amusement "So, Kepner got people hitting on her for the prize of being hit on back" all the Mercy West people nodded "Nice, I'm starting to like Kepner"

Meredith didn't remember who won that bet but she could now see why Kepner got the whole reputation.

"Let's just agree to disagree" April said

"Ya sure, but I am right" Meredith responded and they both laughed.

"Kepner just to let you know if you ever wanted to move in, now or in the future, the place is open for you" Meredith was telling the truth, during the shooting they both were a mess but after somehow Kepner was the most kept together. April was the one who helped arrange for funerals, and doctor visits, getting the survivors to SGMW and to transport bodies to their families it was kinda amazing how she worked through it all.

"Thanks but, I just found a new place to live, not that far from here actually" April responded "So, instead of roommates we are neighbours" Meredith looked at April in surprise

"I have nothing against you or anyone living in the house but I need my own space" Meredith could understand that.

Well one thing is for sure she is definitely seeing April more.