Thank you to Luisa and Jimena for encouraging me to finish this! I'm not used to writing this much plot or exploring scenarios I personally don't find likely to happen but I really enjoyed writing this nevertheless. Hope you like it :)
Donna downs the rest of her drink, the liquor burning it's way down her throat and her date signals for the next round. The entire night he seems determined to make sure she always has a drink in her hand, which on its own isn't a good sign but she doesn't mind. If it hadn't been him, it'd be her ordering the shots since, lately she has felt a strong urge to let loose and have a good time, leaving all work related thoughts aside. Turns out this date couldn't have come at a better time. Besides, the guy seems pretty harmless and it was mutual friends who set them up and she has always prided herself in her ability to handle her liquor.
She's having a fairly pleasant time actually. Her date seems pretty interesting and even kind of fascinated by her. The conversation flows easily and he's heavily engaged, listening to her intently. And most of all, he has nothing to do with the legal word which sends a sense of relief down her spine.
But they've had a few rounds too many and she got drunk faster than she'd anticipated, the fatigue accumulated in her system taking its toll on her tolerance.
And when someones drunk they don't exactly have control over what they choose to think about and the thoughts that involuntarily but steadily invaded Donna's brain were all pieces of a grand theme that, as time went by, started to primarily occupy her every idea.
Harvey.
Harvey. Harvey at the office. Harvey in a suit. Harvey in her bed.
Harvey. He was impossible to replace. He was a mess of extremes and this guy was a monotonous hum. She wasn't consciously thinking about all that but maybe she was. Maybe her reason for wanting to let loose in the first place was exactly that, to allow herself to think about him freely. Having the alcohol to blame, telling herself she doesn't want to think about work because she really didn't. She just wanted to be consumed by thoughts of Harvey and how he makes better jokes than her date, how he's definitely more intelligent, more caring, more successful, more…
Shit. This was too much. She has now crossed the line that she created for herself. Her attention returns to the man sitting across from her.
They've wind up talking about their jobs and drinking the glass numbered we're-not-really-counting and that has always been a dangerous territory to trench but right now she doesn't give it a second thought, diving right in.
"And your boss has never asked for a ridiculous request?" The guy asks smirkingly and she tilts her head, her brows frowning a bit. They're in the middle of their conversation and it's now her turn to reveal the secrets of the career of a legal secretary.
"Noo, no. Harvey's great. We work so well together," it sounds like just an earnest response so far. She's trying to keep her mouth shut, knows she most definitely should, but it's one of those times when it feels like if you leave something unsaid it will explode inside you instead and shred you to pieces. She nervously twirls the glass in her hand. Counts the moments until she bursts.
"That's good then," he goes to nod but she cuts him off before he gets a chance to add anything further.
"No, really," she insists like there was ever an objection, "he is amazing. Best closer this city has ever seen, are you hearing that? And," she holds her finger up to him and takes a sip of her drink before continuing, "he looks great in a suit," and he thinks she's joking but her expression indicates that she's absolutely not.
Donna goes on to tell a story about a time Harvey kicked ass on a case and something about the way she's talking about him suggests that this isn't simply admiration towards his abilities as a lawyer or a boss.
At some point her mouth goes numb, which is probably to blame for the alarming rate that her words are tumbling out of it. Gravity seems to have gone on a break. Her guts twirl. Her expression goes serious and she takes another tiny sip of her drink as if emptying more low-dosage poison into her body will make her feel better. It doesn't.
Her date is a bit startled at her behavior and primarily, at her oblivion to it. Talking about another man for a significant amount of time could hardly be considered an appropriate topic of conversation for a first date. But this is not going to work out, that much is obvious, and at last he decides that it's better to wrap this up and send her home in a cab while she's still conscious enough to get there.
Standing on the pavement he motions for a cab with one hand while steadying Donna with the other, his glance jumping back and forth from the traffic on the road to the lost expression on her face. He leans in a bit to ask for her address which for some reason makes her eyes widen and she pauses as if trying to remember so she can answer correctly. He passes the information to the driver and waves her goodbye, unaware of the fact that the address she gave him isn't actually her own.
And then she's alone inside the cab, the sounds from the street muffled from the dizzying sensation in her brain. She watches the world outside zoom past. At some point the motion violently comes to an end and she finds herself outside Harvey's apartment. Nowhere to go now but in, she thinks, but if she's being honest in this giddy state of hers, there's nowhere she'd rather go anyway.
The door opens to reveal a sleepy Harvey, clearly puzzled to find Donna on his doorstep at this hour in the night but the confusion is quickly washed over by a degree of worry when he realizes she's not fully in her right mind. It's not hard to tell, from the way her face lights up when their eyes meet, a silly smile coming to decorate her face.
"Hey," is the most Donna manages, casually, as if this setting is something completely ordinary and he should have expected her at his place any time soon. He should have been happy to see her. He is, sort of. But something is off.
"Hey back at you," he replies but the words are reluctant to escape his lips, an ambiguity, a mix of confusion and amusement at their current situation. "What are you doing here?" he asks, because it has to be asked eventually and he figures he'd get it out of the way.
"I was on a date," she confesses, making him mouth a silent "oh", "I thought it was going well but he sent me off in a cab."
From what he could read on her face and her tone she doesn't seem all that bothered about what she just recounted but then again she seems very drunk and before he can think of any sort of response she is pushing him aside to step in the condo. She stumbles a bit and looks back at him and he's shaking his head slightly. It's partly the ridiculousness of the situation, seeing her so out of herself. Partly it's some part of him that thinks she's sweet, that doesn't question why she's in his apartment but that just wants to take care of her.
"Come here," He helps her inside and guides her until she plumps on the sofa, the drunkenness and exhaustion suddenly surfacing to the front of her mind as she lets her body completely weigh her down. Her eyes follow Harvey to the kitchen where he's trying to figure out how to sober her up and make her feel better.
Harvey hands her a glass of water and keeps her eyes on her making sure that she drinks the whole thing and she abides, emptying it in a long gulp and placing it on the coffee table with a loud clink, not exactly in control of her own movements.
He sits down next to her. They're sharing the couch and normally Donna would have treated the gap between them like it might electrocute her if she touched it, but now, she collapses into him, and to her surprise he collapses back and doesn't push away, and she feels his body relax and their hips brushing against each other every time one of them shifts.
She doesn't know why she is there. Doesn't know if giving his address instead of hers was a conscious choice she made to pursue something in particular or if it was just a result of inebriated behaviour. But in that moment she is just happy that she ended up next to him.
The thought that he's so close that she could kiss him if she just turned her head slightly to her left kept circling in her brain. There was a strange sense of unreality coating the moment and she felt a nudging urge to test the limits of it. Could there be more to what they were sharing? Where did this extend to? So she turned. Her eyes instantly falling on his lips, a shallow breath escaping hers. And then she kissed him.
It's very soft and slow. He doesn't pull away, doesn't startle, doesn't pause. He kisses her back, longingly and immediately, so much she thinks he might have been waiting for her to do this exact thing. His hand comes up to her face, thumb gently stroking her flushed cheek and it could easily be the most loving kiss either of them have experienced. But it's not right, not tonight when Donna is not sober and might regret this in the morning. God knows Harvey wants this to happen more than anything but he's not that kind of guy and he surely doesn't want it to happen because he took advantage of her intoxicated state.
So when they part for air he retires a bit and sees her bright eyes flicker with worry and he promptly repays with a warm smile that makes her expression soften. Harvey moves a strand of hair away from her face and almost whispers, "We can't do this now."
At the sound of his words her lips part, her eyes instantly find his and he can hear the disappointment in her voice when she responds.
"But I want to," Donna protests and he just nods.
"I do too," there's a pause. He's terrified that tomorrow she won't anymore but the way she just kissed him entails that this wasn't a rush decision but something that had lingered in her mind for a while, same as his. Besides, there's no other choice really, than to risk this moment being an unrepeatable occasion or the start of something real.
"So we can do it tomorrow if you'll still want to," he utters finally and she sighs, their gazes still locked despite her eyes giving away the fact that she'd happily fall asleep right then and there but still solemnly chooses to focus on him.
Harvey is the one to break away first. His eyes fall to the floor and he clears his throat before getting up. "Come here," he takes her hand in his, urging her to get up so she can at least sleep in his bed. But she sinks deeper in the cushions and pouts her lips, tugging at his arm instead, to try and pull him close again.
"Come on, Donna. Let's get you to bed," he tries softly one more time but she seems determined to stay put. He feels like he's dealing with a child and if it were anyone else in her place he'd find it infuriating, but the way she's made herself comfortable on his couch, pretty and soft, make up and hair still intact despite her adventures of the night, face relaxed and eyelids heavy, he feels kind of lucky to have her there. Even though he has to deal with this state of hers, he still feels lucky. Even though he knows they won't be spending the night together and that fact creates a sinking feeling in his chest, he's lucky.
She blinks her big eyes once more at him.
"Please stay." She squeezes his hand.
Harvey sits back down, leaving a generous amount of space between them. He'll either convince her to go to the bedroom or she'll fall asleep here but right now he knows he's not getting anywhere with his pleadings. The best way to handle this seems to go with her flow but he doesn't intend to really stay with her all through the night.
Donna has other plans for him, immediately scooting nearer so she can snuggle close to him, her arm coming to wrap around his waist and head heavily resting on his chest. He feels the weight of her body on his and how comfortable and relaxed she seems once he places his hand on her back and thinks maybe there's no harm in letting her fall asleep like that.
And he does. He's just holding her now, his whole world the smell of her neck and the frizz from her curls. He lets her fall asleep and focuses on the way her chest rises and falls with her breaths and the feeling of having her in his embrace until his mind starts going blurry as well and Donna's touch mixes up with thoughts of her and soon it all becomes one and the same and turns into a dream as he drifts off.
.
The rays of the early bright sunlight stream into the condo through the large windows, such a quiet and peaceful setting. Donna senses the light and it makes her shift a bit as she slowly wakes up from her slumber. She flutters her eyes, extremely disoriented by the unfamiliar setting and the residue of intoxication that's making her head heavy. Bits of last night start coming back to her and suddenly she realizes where she is. Not only in Harvey's apartment, but in his arms.
Fuck. It's not bad, actually it's the best feeling she could imagine waking up in but she can't exactly recall the events that led her in this position and that scares her senseless. She thinks he's there with her, his body gently resting against hers so nothing could have gone terribly wrong.
Did something happen between them? They are both fully dressed and she was too out of it last night. It couldn't have. She focuses, tries to defog her brain as well as she can and gradually she remembers. She showed up drunk at his door, that's what happened. A feeling of embarrassment crashes her body as if someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on her.
And then his words echo in her head. I do too. It's not the most perfect scenario she could have thought of, not her finest moment that's for sure. But this sort of confirmation that maybe he wanted her there, maybe it wasn't such a bad call to come over after all, even like this, makes her gut twirl.
Harvey is still deep in his sleep and she knows she should wake him up, explain herself, talk things out. But more than anything she wants to take advantage of this little window they've created in time to be close to him while she can because there's no sure way of knowing what will happen once he becomes conscious again. This can still be considered part of last night's bizarreness. She presses her body harder against his, the hold of her arm around him becoming stronger and she takes in what it feels like to be so softly and intimately next to him.
She wants so badly for his hands to stay on her. She wants to glue him to herself. Actually, no. She is glad he can remove them whenever he wants; he wants to be there. She initiated. She pulled the strings. He was happily relinquishing control.
She imagined herself out of her body, splatted on to the ceiling, the wall, watching herself, watching him, watching them. She'd drip, drip down.
Is this it?
For a moment, she floated. This was the first good float since last night; the first time it felt correct to be away from her body. Just one big release of everything pent up, everything validated.
After a little while she feels his hand lightly brush her skin and her ear catches his muffled "mhm", a generous warning that he's waking up. She doesn't dare move, waiting for his reaction first.
Harvey's a bit taken aback. He retracks his arm a bit, concerned about the fact that they are so all over each other.
"Donna," his voice is low and laced with sleep and he says it so softly he's not sure she could hear him at all, not even sure if she's awake.
She just hums against his chest until she decides that cuddle time is probably over, they've run out of time and she now has to face the music. When she looks up at him, her lips sort of brush up against the side of his cheek. She grants him a reassuring smile and hopes that it will be enough to mend the moment.
Donna sits up straight so she can properly face him and is greeted by a still sleepy Harvey smiling with his soft gaze fixed on her.
"How are you feeling?"
He sounds genuinely worried and she has to admit that although physically she has definitely felt better, there's nothing in the whole world that could overpower the feeling of having him right beside her, caringly asking her just that.
But instead she quite unconvincingly responds with "I'm fine, thank you Harvey." She takes a deep breath before continuing, her eyes purposefully avoiding his gaze. "About last night…" she starts but he cuts her off.
"Nothing happened last night." Harvey is being careful. It's not said in an aggressive, self-protective manner. It's just a reassurance to give her peace of mind in case she's worried.
She sighs and nods in response, drags her hand down her face in shame.
"Shit, I'm… I'm sorry I shouldn't have showed up here like that and said… anything I might have said." She is plain rambling now.
"Listen, I'm glad you came over last night," Harvey says to put a stop to it.
Despite her response to everything he has done or said so far, to his existence itself, this still feels like a gamble but it's one he is willing to take.
That makes her swiftly return to his face, an odd mix of surprise and relief exploding in her brain and translating to her face, like that's something she was expecting and simultaneously can't believe she is actually hearing.
Her hand comes to rest on his. "Me too," Donna says, bringing them finally on the same page.
There's no more guesses, worries, or gambles. There is just them. Both sober and conscious and willing to let their guards down and fully express whatever feelings have been bubbling in secret for years.
Harvey leans forward to capture her lips in his and she mirrors his movement, meeting him halfway. It's gentle and sweet, his hand on her arm and the way he opens his mouth to tug on her bottom lip. There is something so intimate about this, from the way her hands press into his back with too much familiarity, to the way his breaths come out in shallow gusts. This is it. This is new and wonderful and everything she'd ever wanted - everything she'd wanted! Harvey on his couch! Harvey pressed to her. Harvey here. Harvey now.
They gradually deepen the kiss, their tongues sliding against each other, mouths clasping and hands reaching all over to grip all available skin.
It's exactly that, this moment that they've both waited for and fantasized for years, coming true, all there in flesh and there's no reason to hold back now.
He tilts his body on top of hers and his hand slips under the skirt of her dress, moving up her inner thigh and Donna hums in his mouth. His fingers dig in the soft velvety skin there, making her shiver. He's teasing her center over her panties and fuck, she's already soaked and that thought alone makes him grunt as he slips them off. She moans as his middle finger finds her wet folds before moving up to circle her clit once, twice, in a way that makes her loudly cry out. His touch feels so damn good. She wants to let him touch her, all of her, however he wants and knows best, but most of all, right now she wants to feel him closer, feel him inside her.
Donna tries to pull him in and Harvey brings his arm around her to press her body firmly on his, leading her to position herself on his groin. She circles her hips, feeling his hardness between her legs and her movement elicits a gasp from Harvey. His nose trails along the side of her neck, his mouth closing on the spot between shoulder and neck, leaving open mouthed kisses and gently biting her skin. She closes her eyes and lets out little moans, feeling the wet marks he leaves on her and his hard cock pressed against her center. He's so hard, she feels every inch of him and it's driving her insane. His hips thrust upward and she grinds harder against him to relieve some of the pressure that's been pooling in her belly and tearing her clit apart.
"Fuck," he groans in her ear and maybe they have just started but this moment has been in the making for way longer than just this morning and they both know it won't last very long if they don't hurry up.
They shift so Harvey can hastily push the fabric of his pants down just enough to free himself. Donna feels an almost refreshing burn where his cock touches her belly, the tip leaking precum. She takes him in her hand and pumps him once and then again until her name falls from his lips in a plea to hurry up. She moves, slowly sinking down on him. Donna knows he's big, she has done this before, had him inside her all those years ago, but the sensation of how fully he's filling her blows her mind all over again and almost makes her cry out.
Her walls clench around him and she starts moving slowly at first and the breathy little moans that escape her throat are music to his ears. They focus on their joining, being together like that, noses barely touching and breathing in the same air.
Harvey's mouth finds her neck again and he kisses her, sucks on her pulsepoint just as she picks up the rhythm, sliding up and down his length and he thrusts his hips to meet each stroke.
She's being loud. She whimpers and moans and cries out his name and he's sensing she's close. His right hand leaves her waist to land on her clit, finger drawing small circles on her swollen bud, his breath hotly brushing against her chest.
Her wet heat around him takes over everything in his brain and his only semi-coherent thoughts are her. She. Donna. Donna at his place. Donna's arms around his neck. Donna's mouth on his. Donna having him inside her.
Donna mewling his name, evidently being tipped over the edge.
And suddenly the thoughts of Donna get wiped out by a wave of pleasure and he's spilling inside her with a low and deep moan.
They both take a moment to come back to earth, return to reality from the high of it all, their breathing slowly going back to normal.
The nights she'd spent thinking of that exact thing happening had been exhilarating. She'd go through the details over and over, how his face would look and feel and what he'd smell like and the things he'd say. But now it had happened.
She cups his face with her palm and pulls him in for a long kiss.
"This is it then," Harvey softly whispers when they both break away to catch their breath.
"It really is," Donna replies before pressing her lips on his again.
They didn't have to specify what 'it' meant. They knew it was everything. Them and what happened and everything that was yet to happen. And it really was.